(no subject)
Depression is a funny thing. It can strike without provocation at the most unexpected times. I'm in a class and doing great and very much enjoying it. I just landed a great job which pays more than any I've ever had, with better benefits than I've ever had, and it's actually doing something I ENJOY. But for some reason, I'm sad. Sad actually isn't really a strong enough word to describe the feeling; it's more like there's a huge hole somewhere inside of me that is aching and pulsing, slowly consuming me. If I had no duty, I would readily curl up in a ball and die (if it were just that easy). I try distracting myself with things that I enjoy; I play video games for a few minutes and become disgusted. I watch a movie and get halfway through before finding that I'm not interested. I engage -friends?- in conversations but find myself walking away. I can't force myself to even open my favorite book. My desire to write has tapered off and died away. I don't know what's worth doing anymore.