What a pity that our phantom can't be here!

[master_jesus]

Last saturday I sat down at about 4pm and started reading "1984," which I had not read before. I read pretty much straight through till about 1am when I finally got to the last four words of the book. Which I havn't read yet. Just kidding. I really enjoyed it. I've read books before that I "couldn't put down" but this one was like some sort of

Comments

delay

[master_jesus]

Sorry it took me a few days to respond, I would say it was because I was really busy, but it really had more to do with video games.

I'll try to find a copy of "A Hanging" if I think of it next time I am in the book store.

I wonder when it gets to the point of very strict adherance to dogmatic (or biblical) law, if it is really religion. I mean, realigion isn't something you can contain in a book. I don't think any christian would say that you can really capture God in words, he is too great for that, they may say. But when you get all caught up in the little things, the details of the religious branch you belong to, doesn't that just become a sort of "unofficial" government in your life? I mean unofficial in that they can't really control your life or interactions within society, but as long as you remain with them, they govern your life and its demensions. This may not be a bad thing for a lot of people, a lot of people either A) like a few more guidelines for their lives or B) need those guidelines. But is that religion? Is that the nature of religion? I don't think so, I think it is the way in which many want to interact with religion. Religion is something highly personal, something that is felt, something that can't be expressed. Churches are just places you can go to interact with people that feel similar things to you. They have the same basic feeling within them. And thats what can make members of a church so close, so bonded, to one another. This isn't a bad thing, far from it, but is it religion? Is it really religion when you try to lable this feeling within the congregation? Is it really religion when you say "this is right, that is wrong"? Or is religion only the feeling, and everything else just an offshoot of religion, an expression of that feeling. To understand what I mean, I will say that if an artist, painter, is trying to paint an idea and they paint, say, a scene of kindness and peace, is everyone that sees that painting going to experiance it the same way? Of course not, they may all get the general idea of what the artist was going for, but they all have their own take on it. this is no different than religion. churches, to me, are just people trying to say that you have to take this "X interpretation" of that feeling that dweels within you.

So when you get back to your example, Tracy, then we can see someone that has decided to take "X interpretation" as the, as I will call it, "divine interpretation" of what that feeling within her is. And of course the feeling changed when she had an abortion, and it changed when she was forced to look at her life and decide what she really thought about it. But she had a feeling, and she wanted to make sense of it, and she chose this route. It may have restricted her in her actions, it may have limited what she really felt, but to her it feels right. This doesn't mean that it is freeing, for truly many things that aren't freeing feel right. So is she free in her religion? If she accepts that feeling, then perhaps she is more free, but trying to define it with religious law is not freeing. The problem with freedom is that it can't be expressed in any easy terms, it is something that you either have or you don't have. It is also something that many that have don't know they have and many that don't have think they have.

These are some of my thoughts on it, I stumbled across a few ideas in what I was saying that I really need to spend a lot more time thinking about before I even try to tackle the problem, so I'm going to leave it at this for now. According to my prof., this would not be good philosophy, but hey, its my blog, so it doesn't need to be good.

Tracy

[master_jesus]

It's cool about the delay.

But I think that she didn't want freedom, I think she wants to be controlled. I think she is using religion to suppress the parts of her she doesn't like or can't change. That from a psychological stance is unhealthy. I think the world for her at that point was so confusing and everyone around her was very liberal and couldn't understand what she was going through as far as a moral dillema. We were all supportive.....but maybe too supportive? Like no one asked her about any religious conflicts we just told her that she was really smart and capable of making her own decisions and it was her choice. When I look back I ask myself if we should of done things differently but I realize there is no way we could have. We were all kids and her mother was sort of like a big kid too. So she felt lost in her thoughts and wanted one thought, like in the Matrix not everyone wanted to take the red pill. She was happier to accept the thoughts of others because it was a guideline. Did religion shelter her, embrace her, make her feel safe? Yes. Is it healthy for her? It could be. Is she healthy or happy now? No, she can't be. All that inside of her is building up and making her slowly hate herself. She is going to have a nervous break down. Another example though to counter that example of religion gone wrong is one of religion going right. My Aunt Becky was a wild child, 4 kids 4 different dads, each being taken care of by a relative, drugs, booze, you name it, she did it. Until one day she found G-d. She became a devote Christian, still is. Got her life together, got her kids back and now is a model citizen, she says thanks to G-d and I believe that it is. My problem isn't at all with Christianity(which is weird for a budding jew to say I guess) but rather with certain people's interpretation with it. Like those people that bomb abortion clinics and attack homosexuals. That's a contradiction to their faith! I feel a good Christian turns the other cheek and lives and let's live.

Sorry for all the examples, debate for 4 years has taught me that a good case needs back up with real stories. Evidence.

But I don't know. I found philosophy in my faith. It's like Einstein said the more he learned about science the more he believed in a higher power. Einstein was raised Jewish and dabbled in the Kabbalah(not the Madonna cult, the real one) and he.....well you know but he obviously was someone capable of having faith and being philosophical(although he was a little closed minded about quantum physics and sometimes a little lazy with equations). But like what's said in The Physics of Consciousness, "I have always felt that a well-developed intellect must embrace both an artistic sense and an understanding of scientific reasoning." Basically I think in order for someone to have an honest perception of their faith, G-d, or reality they have to examine it as a question rather than an answer, but that's just my opinion.

Good philosophy examines all ideas so I'd say it's good, but who I am to say?

Re: Tracy

[master_jesus]

Oh, I forgot to say that the difference between the situations with my friend and my aunt is that my aunt didn't lose herself. She is still her and she aproaches faith with her heart. In Judaism there is a constant argument with structured prayer, a prayer is suppose to be intimate, from your soul and your heart. Sometimes with prayers passed on they become repetive and lose meaning. When they become routine, they lose a level of passion and intimacy and the prayer is meaningless. So that is the problem, I think that her heart isn't in it, it can't be she is constricting too much for it to be. My aunt on the other hand has thoughts of her own that still agree with her religion, but our opinions she developed herself. Therefor her faith is sincere and is a healthy part of her life. My friend is going to have to face herself some time and that isn't going to be pretty. Basically they are each examples of healthy faith and unhealthy co-dependecy. I am sure you saw my copy of the Godmakers in high school when I loaned it to Paul so I am sure you remember the Mormon guy that was deeply into his faith, but gay. He killed himself out of fear not only of his family's disapproval and the church ex-communicating him, but he was afraid of his fate with Gd and hated himself for that. Freedom is very much so a state of mind, but sometimes our perception get's so clouded we lose sight of the possibilty of freedom and sometimes that cloud is religion. The individual is responsible for that but it's also up to the individual to say, "OK, my religion says what I am is wrong, who I am is wrong, BUT do I feel that way?" There is this episode of Queer as Folks(fyi-I know all this gay stuff cuz I am bi, I didn't know if you knew but there's that. I dig chicks.) were one of the guys joins one of those reform homosexuality groups that promise to turn you straight. His friends come to the meeting. When they ask him why he is doing this he says something along the lines of, "Because I want god to love me." And Ted(one of the characters trying to get the guy to come back to who he really is)says, "I think God appreciates it even more because He created you in His image. At least that's what I was always taught. And since Gd is love and Gd doesn't make mistakes, then you must be exactly the way he wants you to be, the way he intended you to be. And that goes for every person, every planet, every mountain, every grain of sand, every song, every tear, AND EVERY FAGGOT. We're all His, Emmett. He loves us all." I always loved that quote. I have it saved to my computer because I think it is so relevant when it comes to faith.
It was so cute, Paul saw this and went, "Whoa, this is long. You guys write a lot." Paul is so adorable......and that has nothing to do with any of this. I just thought it was cute.