(no subject)
Self examination is tiring. But even worse, it gets boring. I don't mean good, trying-to-figure-yourself-out type self examination, I mean endless questioning and never being able to do enough, and endlessly seeing your own faults very clearly, that sort of thing. Not so much unpleasant as exhausting.
I have a theory, which I should probably recall more often, that any given experience no matter what its quality or type, is necessarily finite, both in breadth and length. By which I mean that you can never be totally taken over by something - there is always something else there either to cling to as last resort, or to balance out perfection, and that nothing can last indefinitely, continuously. Of course it is hard to remember in the midst of something.
Anyhow, I am currently listening to Sufjan Stevens (thanks Pip!) - backwards, because iTunes is an idiot (it is easier to disparage things when you personify them, I and many propagandists through the ages have found) - and he is making me all calm and sleepily. So no more pondering. And hopefully, at some stage, I will get this gorram essay done. (Author's Note: those of you with similar tastes to myself will interpret that sentence as meaning that I have not, and will not, be getting much done at all, really.)