lovely never ever change

[massorgy19]

i have been so confused lately!!!! i guess my roommate already said it, i think i'm a lesbian. i really don't know a damn thing, because i haven't even been able to give myself an orgasm, so you can tell how crazy i am about sex. it's not rion. if it weren't for him, we wouldn't have even gotten as far as we have. we have had really good sex, but i don't have much of a sex drive. and i think that if i were with anyone else, the person that i was with would have the same problem with that. they would think that it was something that they were doing wrong, when really that was not the case at all. sex just has never really been that important to me. i like people. i'm attracted to people. but the thought of sex usually does not come to mind. and although i find penises to be rather revolting, rion's is quite lovely. and whenever i think about my future, he is right there with me. i guess all romantic relationships end up involving sex. i mean, that is the primary goal, isn't it? if you're in love with somebody, you know that you're going to have sex eventually, whether that is before or after exchanging marital vows. i feel horrible, because i really want to be with rion. and i know it is unfair to drag him along, but if he wants to be with me then i am not going to stop him. and i want to make him happy. so i am praying (not to god, because according to him i am probably committing a terrible sin by being uncontrollably attracted to women) that i will suddenly have a sexual spark. cuz if you really think about it, all sex is the same. it all gets to the same place. sure, women have this understanding, which is why, i think, i find them so attractive. however, a man can really take control and give you what you need. the conclusion to this tale is: i have no idea what i want or who i am. all i know is that i love rion, and that's all that matters right now.

*RION* I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR GIRL!