Tell me your name, tell me your story, cause I'm into it
I stepped on a rusty tack and as a testament to my slothfulness I have chosen the eventual amputation of my leg over driving to the doctor's to get a tetanus shot.
There's no way I'm putting pants on right now.
I've already planned to fashion a prosthesis out of ice cream sticks, elbow macaroni, and glitter.
I'm going to a friend's wedding on Friday and I've come up with a short list of things that I currently can equate love to.
Love is like:
1) Beating Minesweeper in expert mode
2) Being on a diet where everything is deep fried
3) Having a pair of jeans that fit your ass perfectly
4) Finishing a Sunday crossword puzzle
5) Not having your leg fall off because you were too dumb to go get a stupid tetanus shot.
I think I'm going into shock