Weihnachtenzeit
If Santa answered his letters...
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND,BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least that mother fucker can spell!
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
Love, Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more godamn fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben good boy all yeer.
YeR FReND,BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawncare specialist. How 'bout I send you a fucking book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least that mother fucker can spell!
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please, I really really want a fire truck this year!
Love, Joey
Dear Joey,
Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more godamn fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.
Santa
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
What, and ruin that hot affair your dad's still having with the baby-sitter? He's banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get you some nice Legos instead.
Santa