FILL: To Break A Hero (F!Shep/Kaidan) 18/?
anonymous
March 17 2014, 02:05:52 UTC
Shepard was barely keeping it together as she left the QEC and headed to the war room. Telling the asari councilor that Thessia was about to fall was right up there on the list of things that she wished she’d never had to do.
“Asari forces are in full retreat. It is no longer safe for us to remain in this system,” EDI told her. Shepard grit her teeth and kept her mouth shut. It wasn’t EDI’s fault that she wore the body of the woman Shepard now hated with a passion, even though that woman was dead. The only person she hated more was the one who had been giving that woman orders.
“Get us out of here,” Shepard said, more sharply than she’d intended.
Liara stood over the map, head bowed. Shepard tried to summon compassion and understanding for her friend. It was her job to bolster everyone’s resolve, wasn’t it?
She couldn’t do it.
“Shepard … I …” Liara said, drawing herself up slowly. “Nobody could have predicted Cerberus would reach Thessia before us.”
“To hell with predictions,” Shepard snarled. “Thessia’s lost, and that’s on me. As is the data on the Catalyst.” As is Kaidan. “I’m sick of Cerberus beating us to the punch.”
“Let’s kick them in the balls first for a change,” James suggested.
Shepard pushed herself back from the map and nodded. “I’m with James,” she said, which was a colossal understatement. Only the lack of concrete data was keeping her from blasting the Illusive Man with the Cain. No, that would make it over too quickly. The Arc Projector, maybe. “Does anyone have a clue as to where the fuckers are hiding?”
She saw heads turn to look at her. She made a mental note to watch the vitriol, only because she didn’t want anyone else hovering over her and fussing like she was some goddamn fragile thing.
“Um… well,” Samantha Traynor said into the silence. “There is something.”
--
Shepard took Liara and Tali with her to investigate Horizon. She took a great deal of delight in seeing the Reaper forces attacking Cerberus troops, in seeing a fucking Harvester overhead giving Cerberus lots of problems to deal with.
When they found the terminal with Miranda’s message on it, Shepard felt genuine cheer for the first time in a long time. Miranda was here. Miranda knew more about Cerberus than anyone else Shepard would have had easy access to. (EDI didn’t count. EDI rarely counted for anything except running the Normandy, these days.) Not even the frightening news that Miranda’s crazy father was running this facility for Cerberus diminished the hope Shepard now felt.
If anyone could tell her how to get Kaidan back, it would be Miranda.
If it’s possible to get Kaidan back.
Shepard didn’t know which voice she needed to ignore.
“This looks more like a factory than a refugee camp,” Liara commented as they moved through the back corridors.
“You got that right,” Shepard said. “And it doesn’t bode well for anyone who came here hoping to get some help.” She snorted. “Help. Cerberus never really helps anyone. All their gifts come with strings, poisonous strings that will tear into you and make you regret ever hearing the Illusive Man’s offer.”
She deliberately kept her gaze forward as she spoke so that she couldn’t see anything that passed between Liara and Tali. She had to be strong. She had to be Commander fucking Shepard. She didn’t need her friends worrying if she was losing her mind or not.
Shepard found the power switch to give the command center back its power easily enough, and they all looked up at the overhead monitors.
“What are they doing?” Tali asked. “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Shepard had seen enough husks to last two lifetimes, and this wasn’t helping. A cold rage filled her, very close to becoming hot fury. If there had been anything living in front of her to lash out at, she would have. But she wasn’t so far gone that she would take this out on her friends. Not Liara, whose home burned because of Shepard’s mistake. Not Tali, whose people had almost lost everything to the Reaper-controlled geth. She was just glad that there had been one thing where yelling in blind fury accomplished something.
“Husks,” she said, voicing everyone’s thoughts. “They’re turning them into husks.”
“Asari forces are in full retreat. It is no longer safe for us to remain in this system,” EDI told her. Shepard grit her teeth and kept her mouth shut. It wasn’t EDI’s fault that she wore the body of the woman Shepard now hated with a passion, even though that woman was dead. The only person she hated more was the one who had been giving that woman orders.
“Get us out of here,” Shepard said, more sharply than she’d intended.
Liara stood over the map, head bowed. Shepard tried to summon compassion and understanding for her friend. It was her job to bolster everyone’s resolve, wasn’t it?
She couldn’t do it.
“Shepard … I …” Liara said, drawing herself up slowly. “Nobody could have predicted Cerberus would reach Thessia before us.”
“To hell with predictions,” Shepard snarled. “Thessia’s lost, and that’s on me. As is the data on the Catalyst.” As is Kaidan. “I’m sick of Cerberus beating us to the punch.”
“Let’s kick them in the balls first for a change,” James suggested.
Shepard pushed herself back from the map and nodded. “I’m with James,” she said, which was a colossal understatement. Only the lack of concrete data was keeping her from blasting the Illusive Man with the Cain. No, that would make it over too quickly. The Arc Projector, maybe. “Does anyone have a clue as to where the fuckers are hiding?”
She saw heads turn to look at her. She made a mental note to watch the vitriol, only because she didn’t want anyone else hovering over her and fussing like she was some goddamn fragile thing.
“Um… well,” Samantha Traynor said into the silence. “There is something.”
--
Shepard took Liara and Tali with her to investigate Horizon. She took a great deal of delight in seeing the Reaper forces attacking Cerberus troops, in seeing a fucking Harvester overhead giving Cerberus lots of problems to deal with.
When they found the terminal with Miranda’s message on it, Shepard felt genuine cheer for the first time in a long time. Miranda was here. Miranda knew more about Cerberus than anyone else Shepard would have had easy access to. (EDI didn’t count. EDI rarely counted for anything except running the Normandy, these days.) Not even the frightening news that Miranda’s crazy father was running this facility for Cerberus diminished the hope Shepard now felt.
If anyone could tell her how to get Kaidan back, it would be Miranda.
If it’s possible to get Kaidan back.
Shepard didn’t know which voice she needed to ignore.
“This looks more like a factory than a refugee camp,” Liara commented as they moved through the back corridors.
“You got that right,” Shepard said. “And it doesn’t bode well for anyone who came here hoping to get some help.” She snorted. “Help. Cerberus never really helps anyone. All their gifts come with strings, poisonous strings that will tear into you and make you regret ever hearing the Illusive Man’s offer.”
She deliberately kept her gaze forward as she spoke so that she couldn’t see anything that passed between Liara and Tali. She had to be strong. She had to be Commander fucking Shepard. She didn’t need her friends worrying if she was losing her mind or not.
Shepard found the power switch to give the command center back its power easily enough, and they all looked up at the overhead monitors.
“What are they doing?” Tali asked. “Oh, no. No, no, no.”
Shepard had seen enough husks to last two lifetimes, and this wasn’t helping. A cold rage filled her, very close to becoming hot fury. If there had been anything living in front of her to lash out at, she would have. But she wasn’t so far gone that she would take this out on her friends. Not Liara, whose home burned because of Shepard’s mistake. Not Tali, whose people had almost lost everything to the Reaper-controlled geth. She was just glad that there had been one thing where yelling in blind fury accomplished something.
“Husks,” she said, voicing everyone’s thoughts. “They’re turning them into husks.”
Reply
Leave a comment