Re: FILL: To Break A Hero (F!Shep/Kaidan) 3/?
anonymous
February 25 2014, 23:26:44 UTC
That night - or what passed for night, Kaidan wasn’t sure - he had the most intense dreams he’d had since passing through puberty. He was being tormented all over by invisible hands, pinching at sensitive areas and making him twist and moan. Kaidan. You’re mine, he kept hearing, sometimes in Eva’s voice, sometimes in Shepard’s.
He woke with his right hand around his hard cock and couldn’t help but finish the job his dreams had started, doing his best to keep Shepard’s image in his head as he did so. He had to hold on to who he was, which included his love - love, not simple desire - for Shepard. He conjured up the memory of the night before Ilos, when Shepard had let him into her cabin and he’d let her into his heart. It was why seeing her on Horizon had hurt so much. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved her.
Kaidan groaned as he spurted all over the bedsheets, wondering if that was ever going to get cleaned up. He swung his legs over the side of the small cot and walked over to the shower - at least there was a real bathroom, if a small one, in his cell. He wasn’t under any illusions about privacy, but it helped to be able to clean himself up.
When he'd finished, he became aware that the whispers in the back of his mind had started again. He tried to create a mental block between himself and the whispers, but it just gave him a headache - like the migraines he got from his L2 implant. He ground his teeth, determined to hold out -
And failed, his mental block shattering, the whispers seeming to overwhelm him for a moment. He put his head down on the table and locked his hands behind his head, as though the pressure could be relieved that way. He took several deep breaths and felt the pain start draining. That was a relief.
He was less relieved a moment later when he realized that the whispers had gotten louder. If you want humankind to advance in the galaxy, Cerberus is your best chance. You should work with Cerberus.
Kaidan rose and paced around the room once, then laid on the ground and started doing sit-ups. Physical activity had always cleared his mind in the past, and as soon as he got into a rhythm his mind started going blissfully blank.
When he finished the sit-ups, Eva Coré had entered the room.
Kaidan got to his feet slowly and, turning his back on her, moved towards the desk. Eva grabbed his arm and halted him. “Been thinking about me, Kaidan?” she asked.
“No,” Kaidan said. Maybe he had been, but he wasn’t about to admit that to her.
“Still hung up on Shepard,” Eva said slowly, shaking her head. “You’re only making this harder on yourself. She’s not coming for you, Kaidan.”
“Every time you say that, it just makes me more determined to believe in her,” Kaidan said through gritted teeth.
Eva laughed aloud. “Poor, poor Kaidan. She really isn’t coming. Do you know why? She did the noble thing and turned herself into the Alliance. Defected from us out of a mistaken desire that the Alliance can protect humanity better than we can.” Her head tilted to the side and she gave him a tight-lipped smirk. “And they put her under house arrest on Earth.”
It took Kaidan a moment to realize the implications of that. “House arrest?” he said.
“The whole time you’ve been with us,” Eva replied. “She may not even know you’re missing. Even if the Alliance released her today, she’d have to do a lot of work to catch up, to find our trail. And we’re very good at covering our tracks.”
“You’re lying,” Kaidan said, his voice cracking a little.
Eva smirked again. “Just for you, Kaidan, I’ll have a terminal brought in. With the stories from the various news networks about the great Commander Shepard’s return to the Alliance. She’s not coming for you, Kaidan. And as important as you are, the Alliance isn’t going to waste resources chasing down one lone missing soldier. Not with the news Shepard brought them.”
She moved away from him. “You’ll be able to see for yourself soon enough.”
Kaidan just stood there, dumbfounded, refusing to accept what he’d heard. There had to be a way out. There just had to be.
It wasn’t until he actually viewed the news articles on the terminal that he started to believe - and despair.
He woke with his right hand around his hard cock and couldn’t help but finish the job his dreams had started, doing his best to keep Shepard’s image in his head as he did so. He had to hold on to who he was, which included his love - love, not simple desire - for Shepard. He conjured up the memory of the night before Ilos, when Shepard had let him into her cabin and he’d let her into his heart. It was why seeing her on Horizon had hurt so much. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved her.
Kaidan groaned as he spurted all over the bedsheets, wondering if that was ever going to get cleaned up. He swung his legs over the side of the small cot and walked over to the shower - at least there was a real bathroom, if a small one, in his cell. He wasn’t under any illusions about privacy, but it helped to be able to clean himself up.
When he'd finished, he became aware that the whispers in the back of his mind had started again. He tried to create a mental block between himself and the whispers, but it just gave him a headache - like the migraines he got from his L2 implant. He ground his teeth, determined to hold out -
And failed, his mental block shattering, the whispers seeming to overwhelm him for a moment. He put his head down on the table and locked his hands behind his head, as though the pressure could be relieved that way. He took several deep breaths and felt the pain start draining. That was a relief.
He was less relieved a moment later when he realized that the whispers had gotten louder. If you want humankind to advance in the galaxy, Cerberus is your best chance. You should work with Cerberus.
Kaidan rose and paced around the room once, then laid on the ground and started doing sit-ups. Physical activity had always cleared his mind in the past, and as soon as he got into a rhythm his mind started going blissfully blank.
When he finished the sit-ups, Eva Coré had entered the room.
Kaidan got to his feet slowly and, turning his back on her, moved towards the desk. Eva grabbed his arm and halted him. “Been thinking about me, Kaidan?” she asked.
“No,” Kaidan said. Maybe he had been, but he wasn’t about to admit that to her.
“Still hung up on Shepard,” Eva said slowly, shaking her head. “You’re only making this harder on yourself. She’s not coming for you, Kaidan.”
“Every time you say that, it just makes me more determined to believe in her,” Kaidan said through gritted teeth.
Eva laughed aloud. “Poor, poor Kaidan. She really isn’t coming. Do you know why? She did the noble thing and turned herself into the Alliance. Defected from us out of a mistaken desire that the Alliance can protect humanity better than we can.” Her head tilted to the side and she gave him a tight-lipped smirk. “And they put her under house arrest on Earth.”
It took Kaidan a moment to realize the implications of that. “House arrest?” he said.
“The whole time you’ve been with us,” Eva replied. “She may not even know you’re missing. Even if the Alliance released her today, she’d have to do a lot of work to catch up, to find our trail. And we’re very good at covering our tracks.”
“You’re lying,” Kaidan said, his voice cracking a little.
Eva smirked again. “Just for you, Kaidan, I’ll have a terminal brought in. With the stories from the various news networks about the great Commander Shepard’s return to the Alliance. She’s not coming for you, Kaidan. And as important as you are, the Alliance isn’t going to waste resources chasing down one lone missing soldier. Not with the news Shepard brought them.”
She moved away from him. “You’ll be able to see for yourself soon enough.”
Kaidan just stood there, dumbfounded, refusing to accept what he’d heard. There had to be a way out. There just had to be.
It wasn’t until he actually viewed the news articles on the terminal that he started to believe - and despair.
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