Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus - 1
anonymous
July 10 2013, 17:37:56 UTC
Vega pulled one of Garrus' arms around his shoulders, wrapped a hand around his waist and pulled him towards the belly of the Normandy. Unable to support himself, Garrus was forced to followed his lead. He could feel himself bleeding into his bodysuit; the break in his leg must have punctured his hide. He turned back once they’d reached the top of the ramp, looking for her, making certain she’d follow.
He was not surprised to see her feet still planted firmly on her home planet, ignoring the ramp leading up into their home.
“Shepard,” he’d said, his voice taking on a pleading quality. He wasn’t ready to let her go. Not without him. He belonged by her side.
“You’ve got to get out of here!” she yelled up the ramp, her eyes sorrowful but determined.
He knew that look. He knew her very thoughts. She would never give up; she’d give herself up for this fight. He would do the same for Palaven. But she wasn’t just doing it for Earth. She was doing it for everyone. She never, not once, wasted a life if she could help it, and she wasn’t done yet.
His throat constricted, anger at this fate building in his chest. “And you’ve got to be kidding me!” He growled forcefully, a catch in his voice betraying his distress. He tried to reach out to her but Vega had a firm hold, and he’d lost a lot of blood.
She spoke again, approached him, touched him one last time; but he was too absorbed with staring at her, memorizing her expression, the scent of her, the exact shade of her eyes to pay much attention. He wished he was free to hold her once more. They always knew it might come to this. There had been so many close calls in the past. Hell, he’d even lost her once before. But something about this time was different. Instinctively he knew she wouldn’t make it back.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered a she backed down the ramp.
“I know.” He answered, realizing she probably couldn’t hear him.
As the ramp closed he sank to his knees and keened out his grief; not giving a single damn who heard him.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus - 2
anonymous
July 10 2013, 17:40:06 UTC
He went over those last moments in his head repeatedly over the past hours. He sat on the observation deck, staring out at the stars. His midsection was heavily bandaged, as was his right leg. He would have gotten up and poured himself a drink but he knew it wouldn’t help, he was already filled with painkillers, and they did nothing to ease the ache in his chest.
He would have preferred to be in the main battery, cocooned by the faint hum of the weapon systems, but it was currently occupied by two Geth and EDI, who had been removed from the copilots chair by a human pilot who’d been sent to relieve Joker as necessary. EDI, of course, didn’t need to be in the cockpit to know everything going on in the ship.
Admiral Hackett had already moved into Shepard’s quarters.
It has been 43 hours since he had last seen Shepard, and 21 since the news had come. Earth was lost. Full retreat.
Shepard, her body likely now cold, lay somewhere among the ruins of the citadel, hanging above the burning planet below; where billions of humans fought in vain for their lives. A full evacuation had never been a possibility.
The Normandy was full of new faces, the crew easily doubled in size. Wrex had made it back, Liara and Tali still on board. Ashley hadn’t, though last they’d heard she was still alive; Vega was still down there, he’d been badly wounded from what he’d heard, hell, he was probably already gone as well. Javik stayed behind to fight alongside the humans. Without the crucible they were lost, Javik had seen it before.
Garrus had kept as busy as possible, even while laid up with his injuries. Unfortunately he wasn’t as busy as he would have liked, though it was probably for the best. He really wasn’t in the frame of mind necessary to do anything productive. The real Normandy crew members, those who knew, gave him space and asked little of him, though a few had come to briefly share their sorrow and offer their sympathy. The new crew members likely hadn’t worked closely with other species before, at least, not as closely as Normandy crew, and gave him a wide berth.
He was running out of excuses to stay awake any longer. He hadn’t slept since he’d said those pathetic last words to her. He was afraid what images his mind might conjure in his sleep. But finally he did sleep, and it was blissfully dreamless.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus - 3
anonymous
July 10 2013, 17:43:34 UTC
When he awoke, bleary eyed, his neck stiff from having slept too long at the wrong angle, the first thing he noticed was the warmth. Much warmer than he had been when he finally nodded off in the observation deck, the Normandy generally being kept at a temperature comfortable for humans and asari, but it was a little too cool for turians. The fog began to slowly clear as he realized that not only was he not in the observation deck; he wasn’t even on the Normandy. The scents were all wrong, it was far too quiet, and given the quiet, the lack of the steady vibration associated with most engines, he wasn’t even on a ship. He jumped from where he lay, knocking something over in the dark, a crash followed by the telltale sound of shattering glass. He saw a light, just a slip of it, as if under a door, barely noticeable.
He approached it carefully, hands out in front of himself in an attempt to avoid knocking anything else over, cursing as he felt a sliver of glass cut into his bare foot. When he reached the opposite wall he felt along for a light panel, finding it rather quickly, just to the right of the door. As the illumination flooded his surroundings he felt the breath rush from his lungs, his heart took a step back and missed a beat.
This definitely wasn’t the Normandy. This was his shitty apartment on the citadel, the one he had when he was a C-Sec officer. A single small room, cramped bathroom behind the ridiculously small galley kitchen, the space minimally furnished with just a bed and dresser. He would recognize it anywhere. But what the fuck was he doing here? He gave up this place years ago. He moved into the room to find some clothing and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His face no longer bore the scars he’d become so familiar with. He pulled up the news feeds on his omni tool. The date stood out, loud and glaring.
It was 2183.
A distinct buzz sounded in his ears, the sound growing with intensity and he fully contemplated this revelation. Vertigo overwhelmed him. He sat down, his clothing forgotten.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 4
anonymous
July 10 2013, 18:02:47 UTC
He paced the presidium. This was that day. The day he met her for the first time, the day which changed the course of his life. His morning passed in a fog. He knew where and when he had to meet her and had ignored his other duties, including that rather annoying confrontation which Chellick. Spirits, let her remember everything, he thought for the thousandth time.
His heart thudded in his chest when he saw her walking in his direction, her lean form familiar from the distance, Kaidan and Ashley in tow. The closer they got the more things seemed off.
This was Shepard, this was definitely Commander Jane Shepard, but this was not the Shepard Garrus knew and loved. She smelled the same; he would recognize her scent anywhere. The scar above her brow, which had disappeared when Cerberus resurrected her, was back where it was on that day they’d first met.
But this was not his Shepard.
A few new scars grazed her face, a small semicircle running through her upper lip, giving her a slight sneer, another longer one along her neck. Her gaze was colder than he remembered; her stance somehow more aggressive. She glanced up at him and made eye contact, no recognition on her face. Her eyes, he realized were blue, not the greenish brown they’d been before. There was no warmth in her icy gaze.
He stepped in her path. She stared at him, sizing him up.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 5
anonymous
July 10 2013, 18:06:03 UTC
“Commander Shepard? I’m Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec officer leading an investigation into Saren.” There was a catch in his voice, though not for the same reasons there had been the first time. The first time he’d been slightly surprised that this small woman with such kind eyes had been the hero of Elysium. This time the hesitation was due to the differences between his Shepard and this usurper. Was that a shotgun strapped to her back? She never used a shotgun.
Her expression remained unchanged by his introduction, her gaze cool. “Vakarian, you said?”
“Ah, yes, ma’am.” He handed her the data pad containing the information he’d gathered. She took it, taking her eyes off him to peruse the Intel.
“Saren is up to something, I know it.” Hadn’t he said similar words before? Could he even break away from the script?
Kaidan stood behind her his eyes glued to her profile, had he always been so plain in his desire? He’d died so long ago Garrus couldn’t recall. Beside him, Ashley was looking at Garrus warily. He nodded to her, she nodded back. The lack of recognition once again startled him.
“Excuse me, have we met before? You look familiar.” he asked Ashley, hoping for something. Anything.
“I doubt it.” She replied and turned away from him. Point taken, he moved onto Shepard. New Shepard supplied a voice in his head.
“Commander, could I speak plainly?”
She turned her gaze up from the data pad, her eyes once again startling him in their oddness in the familiar face. She nodded to him once, “go ahead.”
“The council won’t like this, going after one of their Spectres, and they won’t make it easy on you. The turian councilor will be dead set against it. You have to believe me when I say that Saren has gone rogue. I know it.”
“Anything else I should know?”
You mean like how I’ve lived all this once before? How you’re occupying the body of my one time lover? Oh, and Saren? He’s already dead. The fellow behind you? The one with the big brown eyes and bad haircut? He’s dead, too. You, yourself, have died twice before. Paleven is lost, Earth is lost. But, lucky you, you get to go through three years of pain, suffering and frustration before you will get the chance to realize that.
“No, Commander, just, good luck. If you need me don’t hesitate to contact C-sec.”
“Thanks, Vakarian.” She nodded once more before she turned on her heel and walked away.
He was left feeling even more disoriented than before.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 6
anonymous
July 10 2013, 18:35:57 UTC
As soon as she was out of sight he found the nearest bench and sat down, still trying to wrap his head around what was going on. How as this even possible? Why had he been returned to this time and place? Why hadn’t Ashley, at the very least recognized him? Shepard he didn’t recognize as the same, but Ashley was Ashley, as far as he could tell.
He pulled up his omni tool and started searching through any and all information he could find regarding Commander Shepard. The results were startling. His Shepard had been a war hero. But there was no mention of Elysium. Not a word regarding the blitz. Instead the words Azuke and thresher maw leaped from the page.
That she’d survived, when fifty of her fellow soldiers had not, was remarkable on its own merit. That she’d managed to kill two of the beasts on her own was even more so. She’d managed to survive long enough for a rescue crew to come after her, but was badly wounded. The first week it wasn’t known if she’d fully recover, at least, that is what the doctors reported. Anderson had been quoted as calling her “tough as hell.”
She fully recovered, physically at least.
C-sec had additional information hidden away in their database. He knew it would bring up questions should anyone look, but he input his pin and searched anyway. She’d been arrested on numerous occasions since Azuke. Fighting mostly, drunken brawls in the wards, a scuffle outside one of the nicer clubs closer to the presidium as well; he recognized the opposing names on a couple of the arrests, in general low life scum C-sec hadn’t been able to get enough data on to make an arrest. There was an icon in the corner indicating attachments, he pulled them up. He wasn’t surprised that there was a great deal of information on her; they had been pushing her towards Spectre candidacy after all. The file indicated she was born on earth and joined the Alliance very young, there was no mention of her parents, no mention of having been raised by a military family. Her criminal record went back through her youth; she’d been arrested several times as a minor. Theft, drug possession, assault; and a few more interesting arrests including “borrowing” a shuttle (and violating air speed regulations, seven counts) as well as public indecency.
Given his history he had to wonder why they’d even consider her for Spectre candidacy.
Once she enlisted, however, she seemed to straighten out. Or at least not get caught. There was a link to her psychological profile, but when he clicked on it found it needed better clearance than he had. He considered hacking into it, but changed his mind. He could always go back later.
He tried searching for her mother, but had no luck. Hannah Shepard was nowhere to be found.
Who the hell was she? He pondered this for a time, wondering what his course of action should be. He could stay here; wait for Shepard to leave and… what? Stalk her across the Citadel? Stow away on the Normandy?
With a start he realized the time, suddenly remembering there was somewhere else he needed to be today.
He rushed off to Dr. Michel’s clinic hoping he’d be earlier than he’d been last time.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 7
anonymous
July 10 2013, 19:02:40 UTC
Shepard caught up with him, just as she had before. Rushing in, she created enough of a distraction for Garrus to make his shot. The rest were taken care of just seconds later. This new, imposter Shepard sauntered up to him and nodded once, “Nice shot.” She said before turning away. The real Shepard had chastised him for taking a risk of hitting Dr. Michel. The knot in his stomach hardened.
This was when the course of his life changed. This very moment, he realized, when he had asked Shepard to take him along in the hunt for Saren. This might be his only chance he had. This Shepard was all wrong, but he couldn’t let her go on without him. As screwed up as the whole situation was he knew he couldn’t take that chance. The Reaper war was still fresh in his mind. It was only yesterday to him that they’d ordered a full retreat, that Earth and Shepard were lost. Without Shepard, without the knowledge they’d obtained over the course of the next few years they’d be completely unprepared for the Reapers.
And he knew well and good that he was no longer an “Expert Reaper Advisor”, he was just a lowly C-sec officer who bristled at authority once again, and no one was going to listen to him.
“Shepard, I want to come with you.” She looked up at him, eyes narrowed slightly.
“What about C-Sec, Officer Vakarian?”
“C-Sec doesn’t need me, and truth be told, I’m not a really good fit. Red tape and I have a long history of not getting along. Getting Saren is more important, I know he’s guilty, and I can’t help from here.” He hesitated a moment before speaking again, “Also, I ah, I have a feeling something really big is behind all this.”
She folded her arms across her chest, and tilted her head slightly while seeming to consider this. “What makes you say that?”
If only you knew. “Let’s just say that I have really good intuition when it comes to these things.”
Her gaze was cool and direct, finally, she nodded. “Get your things and meet us at the docking bay. We leave within an hour. Welcome aboard, Vakarian.”
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 8
anonymous
July 10 2013, 21:15:34 UTC
Over the course of the next few weeks Garrus observed her. He observed the rest of the crew as well. They were the same as before, as far as he could tell. Ashley remained unsure of him, of all the “aliens” on board, but he knew she would come around. Tali was Tali, as always, and still reminded him a great deal of Solana. Liara, she was the same as she had been before she’d become the Shadowbroker. He’d considered going to her, asking her to get into his head, curious to whether or not she could see what he’d been through, see the other Shepard. But something held him back.
He hadn’t really paid much attention to Kaidan before; he hadn’t much time before he’d died. He could see that he had a good heart, good intentions, but the way he’d gaze at Shepard with longing set him on edge. How could he be so oblivious to the fact that THIS Shepard would eat him alive? Or did he have some sort of hero fantasy of taking this cold, damaged Shepard and saving her from herself? Either way, Garrus wasn’t impressed by these events. Even less so that she never rebuffed the biotics’ attention.
Garrus grudgingly admitted to himself that Kaidan was much more suited to the original Shepard; in fact, the soft spoken biotic would have suited her very well. He tried not to hold it against him though. It certainly wasn’t his fault, and if things continued as they had been, Kaidan would likely not be around for long. Unless he could find a way to prevent it.
Garrus tried, on several occasions, to change their course, thinking perhaps he could alter the future somehow. Several times he nearly broke down and told Shepard everything, each and every time something prevented him. He desperately wanted to find a way to change their course, to improve their chances of winning that final war, save what lives could be saved. Fate felt differently. For every suggestion he made, course he took, it seemed there was a roadblock, a detour, bringing them back to exactly where they had stood before. He felt like he was nothing more than a passenger in this timeline.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 9
anonymous
July 10 2013, 21:17:31 UTC
The changes in her continued to baffle him, intrigue him, and occasionally anger him. Shepard, who could barely set her own alarm, could now bypass a door faster than he ever could. This Shepard, if handed a sniper rifle, would likely be better off using it as a club. She didn’t have the patience to handle one any other way. Not to say she wasn’t a well-seasoned and highly skilled soldier, she was. She was ruthless on the battlefield, but liked to work up close and personal. She was still slender, all hard edges and angles, but fast; Spirits she was fast; and incredibly fierce.
An image came to mind of a recent battle. She had shoved the end of her shotgun into the mouth of a krogan, blowing the top of his head off. She had turned away and looked up at Garrus where he was perched, catching his eye. Her teeth were bared in a vicious grin, her face had been spattered with blood and gore, and she seemed to revel in it; a perfect, coldblooded predator.
To Garrus the sight had been painfully erotic. Adrenaline already up, he felt himself harden and lengthen inside his armor. He imagined pulling the red haired virago into an alcove and fucking her, hard and fast. His mouth salivated at the idea of gripping her shoulder, tasting her blood on his tongue, and holding her there as he brutally pounded into her. He hadn’t ever done that with his Shepard, he had always been careful with her the few times they’d been together. But with this one, a growl bubbled into this throat, this one could handle it. Hell, she’d probably demand it. He knew her body, every fucking inch of it, and damned if he didn’t want to demonstrate to her just how well he knew those hard planes and sharp angles. His blood thickened, his cock throbbed. He loathed himself for this reaction, and hated her for it.
His resentment for her grew as her every action caused his memories of the real Shepard to fade a little more. On some level he was beginning to realize that this Shepard was better suited for him than his Shepard had been. His Shepard knew, somehow that they hadn’t been well-matched, not entirely. It’s likely why their romance was so short lived. Too short lived. He’d agreed with her decision to end it, to be the friend she need. He wished he hadn’t now, wished he’d pushed her for more. But he had always deferred to her judgment in everything.
He hadn’t always agreed with her of course, not on everything. There were times when he had thought a more concise approach in certain situations would have been the better move, but his Shepard, she always believed the best of everyone, and took people for their word. Sometimes it backfired. He never voiced his concern when he thought she was making the wrong choice, he trusted her judgment.
In retrospect, maybe he should have. And such a thought was no better than treason in his mind.
His anger towards the new Shepard continued to grow.
Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 10
anonymous
July 10 2013, 21:19:31 UTC
Something about this Shepard caused him to bristle under her command, make the occasional snide comment when she wasn’t doing what Shepard was supposed to do. Before, if HE had returned to his original self, he wouldn’t have dreamed of voicing most of his concerns, and certainly not mouthing off. But he had changed over the years, and hadn’t been, well, reset, as he’d come to think of it, like everyone else had. He was so different from that idealistic young C-sec officer, times, Omega, Shepard, the reapers had forged him into who he was.
And even though he could accept these changes in himself, he somehow couldn’t in her. It was probably, quite simply, that she wasn’t her; that kind, compassionate female, always quick to laugh, and so full of patience and understanding. In her place instead her new namesake was quick to anger, impatient, flawed. It simply wasn’t right.
Some things about her remained similar. She was no less effective on the battlefield, more so, really. With less caution taken they got through their missions faster. He was becoming grateful, almost, that he’s spent so many hours at his other Shepard’s side, seen so much. He’d needed the practice to keep up with this Shepard. She never hesitated. She seemed to almost know the outcome even before she acted. They worked together well, that could not be denied. She continued to do the right thing during their missions, but used different methods to reach the same goal. She was much more likely to bully someone into the right course of action than trying to reason with them.
A few of her quirks Garrus enjoyed, immensely. The way she handled the council for one. The interloper Shepard was about as tactful as a drunken krogan. Short tempered she more often than not allowed herself to speak before thinking, and he found himself having to bite his tongue to keep from laughing a few times. It was highly entertaining watching the turian councilor sputter and fume. She was downright cruel to Udina on occasion. The traitorous bastard deserved it.
Other changes gave him cause for concern. She rarely smiled, on the rare occasion she laughed it was twisted with cynicism, and sometimes, when she didn’t know she was being observed, a look of sadness crossed her features. That look worried him, more than he wanted it to. It never lasted long, and was always quickly replaced by her stoic, cold mask, but there was underlying pain there, or perhaps regret.
A part of him wanted to confront her about it; ease that ache from her, and share her burdens. She needed someone, he could see that, but she was probably too stubborn to accept it.
Another part of him wanted lash out of her for causing these feelings to bubble up in him to begin with.
She still spent time speaking with the crew, himself included. But their conversations were much more brief than they had been in the past. Likely she did so because it was the most effective way of building a team, and she was still good at team building, that was certain But these talks were was devoid of the sense of playfulness, of friendliness which the old Shepard projected.
She was a mystery. A mystery he was uncertain he wanted to unravel. Or even if he was up to the task.
Re: Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 6
anonymous
July 10 2013, 19:04:35 UTC
I wonder if he'd fall in love with her anyway, being this Shepard so different than his Shepard. I find this kind of plot somewhat fascinating, and I'm looking forward for the next part!
Re: Nouveau jeu - Femshep/Garrus 6
anonymous
July 11 2013, 00:03:36 UTC
Yes, I can see what's going on there... So the first Shepard broke things up with him, but he still thought of her as being "his" and this more ruthless Shepard is -- slowly -- being constructed as being the ideal one for him. I like where this is going. I also liked her insight. Her being pissed off with him because he's making her uncomfortable, because he's observing her every move.
I can't wait for the next part, this is so much fun!!
He was not surprised to see her feet still planted firmly on her home planet, ignoring the ramp leading up into their home.
“Shepard,” he’d said, his voice taking on a pleading quality. He wasn’t ready to let her go. Not without him. He belonged by her side.
“You’ve got to get out of here!” she yelled up the ramp, her eyes sorrowful but determined.
He knew that look. He knew her very thoughts. She would never give up; she’d give herself up for this fight. He would do the same for Palaven. But she wasn’t just doing it for Earth. She was doing it for everyone. She never, not once, wasted a life if she could help it, and she wasn’t done yet.
His throat constricted, anger at this fate building in his chest. “And you’ve got to be kidding me!” He growled forcefully, a catch in his voice betraying his distress. He tried to reach out to her but Vega had a firm hold, and he’d lost a lot of blood.
She spoke again, approached him, touched him one last time; but he was too absorbed with staring at her, memorizing her expression, the scent of her, the exact shade of her eyes to pay much attention. He wished he was free to hold her once more. They always knew it might come to this. There had been so many close calls in the past. Hell, he’d even lost her once before. But something about this time was different. Instinctively he knew she wouldn’t make it back.
“I’m sorry.” She whispered a she backed down the ramp.
“I know.” He answered, realizing she probably couldn’t hear him.
As the ramp closed he sank to his knees and keened out his grief; not giving a single damn who heard him.
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He would have preferred to be in the main battery, cocooned by the faint hum of the weapon systems, but it was currently occupied by two Geth and EDI, who had been removed from the copilots chair by a human pilot who’d been sent to relieve Joker as necessary. EDI, of course, didn’t need to be in the cockpit to know everything going on in the ship.
Admiral Hackett had already moved into Shepard’s quarters.
It has been 43 hours since he had last seen Shepard, and 21 since the news had come. Earth was lost. Full retreat.
Shepard, her body likely now cold, lay somewhere among the ruins of the citadel, hanging above the burning planet below; where billions of humans fought in vain for their lives. A full evacuation had never been a possibility.
The Normandy was full of new faces, the crew easily doubled in size. Wrex had made it back, Liara and Tali still on board. Ashley hadn’t, though last they’d heard she was still alive; Vega was still down there, he’d been badly wounded from what he’d heard, hell, he was probably already gone as well. Javik stayed behind to fight alongside the humans. Without the crucible they were lost, Javik had seen it before.
Garrus had kept as busy as possible, even while laid up with his injuries. Unfortunately he wasn’t as busy as he would have liked, though it was probably for the best. He really wasn’t in the frame of mind necessary to do anything productive. The real Normandy crew members, those who knew, gave him space and asked little of him, though a few had come to briefly share their sorrow and offer their sympathy. The new crew members likely hadn’t worked closely with other species before, at least, not as closely as Normandy crew, and gave him a wide berth.
He was running out of excuses to stay awake any longer. He hadn’t slept since he’d said those pathetic last words to her. He was afraid what images his mind might conjure in his sleep. But finally he did sleep, and it was blissfully dreamless.
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He approached it carefully, hands out in front of himself in an attempt to avoid knocking anything else over, cursing as he felt a sliver of glass cut into his bare foot. When he reached the opposite wall he felt along for a light panel, finding it rather quickly, just to the right of the door. As the illumination flooded his surroundings he felt the breath rush from his lungs, his heart took a step back and missed a beat.
This definitely wasn’t the Normandy. This was his shitty apartment on the citadel, the one he had when he was a C-Sec officer. A single small room, cramped bathroom behind the ridiculously small galley kitchen, the space minimally furnished with just a bed and dresser. He would recognize it anywhere. But what the fuck was he doing here? He gave up this place years ago. He moved into the room to find some clothing and caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. His face no longer bore the scars he’d become so familiar with. He pulled up the news feeds on his omni tool. The date stood out, loud and glaring.
It was 2183.
A distinct buzz sounded in his ears, the sound growing with intensity and he fully contemplated this revelation. Vertigo overwhelmed him. He sat down, his clothing forgotten.
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His heart thudded in his chest when he saw her walking in his direction, her lean form familiar from the distance, Kaidan and Ashley in tow. The closer they got the more things seemed off.
This was Shepard, this was definitely Commander Jane Shepard, but this was not the Shepard Garrus knew and loved. She smelled the same; he would recognize her scent anywhere. The scar above her brow, which had disappeared when Cerberus resurrected her, was back where it was on that day they’d first met.
But this was not his Shepard.
A few new scars grazed her face, a small semicircle running through her upper lip, giving her a slight sneer, another longer one along her neck. Her gaze was colder than he remembered; her stance somehow more aggressive. She glanced up at him and made eye contact, no recognition on her face. Her eyes, he realized were blue, not the greenish brown they’d been before. There was no warmth in her icy gaze.
He stepped in her path. She stared at him, sizing him up.
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Her expression remained unchanged by his introduction, her gaze cool. “Vakarian, you said?”
“Ah, yes, ma’am.” He handed her the data pad containing the information he’d gathered. She took it, taking her eyes off him to peruse the Intel.
“Saren is up to something, I know it.” Hadn’t he said similar words before? Could he even break away from the script?
Kaidan stood behind her his eyes glued to her profile, had he always been so plain in his desire? He’d died so long ago Garrus couldn’t recall. Beside him, Ashley was looking at Garrus warily. He nodded to her, she nodded back. The lack of recognition once again startled him.
“Excuse me, have we met before? You look familiar.” he asked Ashley, hoping for something. Anything.
“I doubt it.” She replied and turned away from him. Point taken, he moved onto Shepard. New Shepard supplied a voice in his head.
“Commander, could I speak plainly?”
She turned her gaze up from the data pad, her eyes once again startling him in their oddness in the familiar face. She nodded to him once, “go ahead.”
“The council won’t like this, going after one of their Spectres, and they won’t make it easy on you. The turian councilor will be dead set against it. You have to believe me when I say that Saren has gone rogue. I know it.”
“Anything else I should know?”
You mean like how I’ve lived all this once before? How you’re occupying the body of my one time lover? Oh, and Saren? He’s already dead. The fellow behind you? The one with the big brown eyes and bad haircut? He’s dead, too. You, yourself, have died twice before. Paleven is lost, Earth is lost. But, lucky you, you get to go through three years of pain, suffering and frustration before you will get the chance to realize that.
“No, Commander, just, good luck. If you need me don’t hesitate to contact C-sec.”
“Thanks, Vakarian.” She nodded once more before she turned on her heel and walked away.
He was left feeling even more disoriented than before.
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He pulled up his omni tool and started searching through any and all information he could find regarding Commander Shepard. The results were startling. His Shepard had been a war hero. But there was no mention of Elysium. Not a word regarding the blitz. Instead the words Azuke and thresher maw leaped from the page.
That she’d survived, when fifty of her fellow soldiers had not, was remarkable on its own merit. That she’d managed to kill two of the beasts on her own was even more so. She’d managed to survive long enough for a rescue crew to come after her, but was badly wounded. The first week it wasn’t known if she’d fully recover, at least, that is what the doctors reported. Anderson had been quoted as calling her “tough as hell.”
She fully recovered, physically at least.
C-sec had additional information hidden away in their database. He knew it would bring up questions should anyone look, but he input his pin and searched anyway. She’d been arrested on numerous occasions since Azuke. Fighting mostly, drunken brawls in the wards, a scuffle outside one of the nicer clubs closer to the presidium as well; he recognized the opposing names on a couple of the arrests, in general low life scum C-sec hadn’t been able to get enough data on to make an arrest. There was an icon in the corner indicating attachments, he pulled them up. He wasn’t surprised that there was a great deal of information on her; they had been pushing her towards Spectre candidacy after all. The file indicated she was born on earth and joined the Alliance very young, there was no mention of her parents, no mention of having been raised by a military family. Her criminal record went back through her youth; she’d been arrested several times as a minor. Theft, drug possession, assault; and a few more interesting arrests including “borrowing” a shuttle (and violating air speed regulations, seven counts) as well as public indecency.
Given his history he had to wonder why they’d even consider her for Spectre candidacy.
Once she enlisted, however, she seemed to straighten out. Or at least not get caught. There was a link to her psychological profile, but when he clicked on it found it needed better clearance than he had. He considered hacking into it, but changed his mind. He could always go back later.
He tried searching for her mother, but had no luck. Hannah Shepard was nowhere to be found.
Who the hell was she? He pondered this for a time, wondering what his course of action should be. He could stay here; wait for Shepard to leave and… what? Stalk her across the Citadel? Stow away on the Normandy?
With a start he realized the time, suddenly remembering there was somewhere else he needed to be today.
He rushed off to Dr. Michel’s clinic hoping he’d be earlier than he’d been last time.
He wasn’t.
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This was when the course of his life changed. This very moment, he realized, when he had asked Shepard to take him along in the hunt for Saren. This might be his only chance he had. This Shepard was all wrong, but he couldn’t let her go on without him. As screwed up as the whole situation was he knew he couldn’t take that chance. The Reaper war was still fresh in his mind. It was only yesterday to him that they’d ordered a full retreat, that Earth and Shepard were lost. Without Shepard, without the knowledge they’d obtained over the course of the next few years they’d be completely unprepared for the Reapers.
And he knew well and good that he was no longer an “Expert Reaper Advisor”, he was just a lowly C-sec officer who bristled at authority once again, and no one was going to listen to him.
“Shepard, I want to come with you.” She looked up at him, eyes narrowed slightly.
“What about C-Sec, Officer Vakarian?”
“C-Sec doesn’t need me, and truth be told, I’m not a really good fit. Red tape and I have a long history of not getting along. Getting Saren is more important, I know he’s guilty, and I can’t help from here.” He hesitated a moment before speaking again, “Also, I ah, I have a feeling something really big is behind all this.”
She folded her arms across her chest, and tilted her head slightly while seeming to consider this. “What makes you say that?”
If only you knew. “Let’s just say that I have really good intuition when it comes to these things.”
Her gaze was cool and direct, finally, she nodded. “Get your things and meet us at the docking bay. We leave within an hour. Welcome aboard, Vakarian.”
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He hadn’t really paid much attention to Kaidan before; he hadn’t much time before he’d died. He could see that he had a good heart, good intentions, but the way he’d gaze at Shepard with longing set him on edge. How could he be so oblivious to the fact that THIS Shepard would eat him alive? Or did he have some sort of hero fantasy of taking this cold, damaged Shepard and saving her from herself? Either way, Garrus wasn’t impressed by these events. Even less so that she never rebuffed the biotics’ attention.
Garrus grudgingly admitted to himself that Kaidan was much more suited to the original Shepard; in fact, the soft spoken biotic would have suited her very well. He tried not to hold it against him though. It certainly wasn’t his fault, and if things continued as they had been, Kaidan would likely not be around for long. Unless he could find a way to prevent it.
Garrus tried, on several occasions, to change their course, thinking perhaps he could alter the future somehow. Several times he nearly broke down and told Shepard everything, each and every time something prevented him. He desperately wanted to find a way to change their course, to improve their chances of winning that final war, save what lives could be saved. Fate felt differently. For every suggestion he made, course he took, it seemed there was a roadblock, a detour, bringing them back to exactly where they had stood before. He felt like he was nothing more than a passenger in this timeline.
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An image came to mind of a recent battle. She had shoved the end of her shotgun into the mouth of a krogan, blowing the top of his head off. She had turned away and looked up at Garrus where he was perched, catching his eye. Her teeth were bared in a vicious grin, her face had been spattered with blood and gore, and she seemed to revel in it; a perfect, coldblooded predator.
To Garrus the sight had been painfully erotic. Adrenaline already up, he felt himself harden and lengthen inside his armor. He imagined pulling the red haired virago into an alcove and fucking her, hard and fast. His mouth salivated at the idea of gripping her shoulder, tasting her blood on his tongue, and holding her there as he brutally pounded into her. He hadn’t ever done that with his Shepard, he had always been careful with her the few times they’d been together. But with this one, a growl bubbled into this throat, this one could handle it. Hell, she’d probably demand it. He knew her body, every fucking inch of it, and damned if he didn’t want to demonstrate to her just how well he knew those hard planes and sharp angles. His blood thickened, his cock throbbed. He loathed himself for this reaction, and hated her for it.
His resentment for her grew as her every action caused his memories of the real Shepard to fade a little more. On some level he was beginning to realize that this Shepard was better suited for him than his Shepard had been. His Shepard knew, somehow that they hadn’t been well-matched, not entirely. It’s likely why their romance was so short lived. Too short lived. He’d agreed with her decision to end it, to be the friend she need. He wished he hadn’t now, wished he’d pushed her for more. But he had always deferred to her judgment in everything.
He hadn’t always agreed with her of course, not on everything. There were times when he had thought a more concise approach in certain situations would have been the better move, but his Shepard, she always believed the best of everyone, and took people for their word. Sometimes it backfired. He never voiced his concern when he thought she was making the wrong choice, he trusted her judgment.
In retrospect, maybe he should have. And such a thought was no better than treason in his mind.
His anger towards the new Shepard continued to grow.
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And even though he could accept these changes in himself, he somehow couldn’t in her. It was probably, quite simply, that she wasn’t her; that kind, compassionate female, always quick to laugh, and so full of patience and understanding. In her place instead her new namesake was quick to anger, impatient, flawed. It simply wasn’t right.
Some things about her remained similar. She was no less effective on the battlefield, more so, really. With less caution taken they got through their missions faster. He was becoming grateful, almost, that he’s spent so many hours at his other Shepard’s side, seen so much. He’d needed the practice to keep up with this Shepard. She never hesitated. She seemed to almost know the outcome even before she acted. They worked together well, that could not be denied. She continued to do the right thing during their missions, but used different methods to reach the same goal. She was much more likely to bully someone into the right course of action than trying to reason with them.
A few of her quirks Garrus enjoyed, immensely. The way she handled the council for one. The interloper Shepard was about as tactful as a drunken krogan. Short tempered she more often than not allowed herself to speak before thinking, and he found himself having to bite his tongue to keep from laughing a few times. It was highly entertaining watching the turian councilor sputter and fume. She was downright cruel to Udina on occasion. The traitorous bastard deserved it.
Other changes gave him cause for concern. She rarely smiled, on the rare occasion she laughed it was twisted with cynicism, and sometimes, when she didn’t know she was being observed, a look of sadness crossed her features. That look worried him, more than he wanted it to. It never lasted long, and was always quickly replaced by her stoic, cold mask, but there was underlying pain there, or perhaps regret.
A part of him wanted to confront her about it; ease that ache from her, and share her burdens. She needed someone, he could see that, but she was probably too stubborn to accept it.
Another part of him wanted lash out of her for causing these feelings to bubble up in him to begin with.
She still spent time speaking with the crew, himself included. But their conversations were much more brief than they had been in the past. Likely she did so because it was the most effective way of building a team, and she was still good at team building, that was certain But these talks were was devoid of the sense of playfulness, of friendliness which the old Shepard projected.
She was a mystery. A mystery he was uncertain he wanted to unravel. Or even if he was up to the task.
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I find this kind of plot somewhat fascinating, and I'm looking forward for the next part!
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Though i'm sure you've figured this out if you have continued reading - yes, all part of the plot. This is the kmeme after all!
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I also liked her insight. Her being pissed off with him because he's making her uncomfortable, because he's observing her every move.
I can't wait for the next part, this is so much fun!!
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And I think Garrus would rub along with the bad girl better....
Glad you're enjoying it!
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