Re: Fill: Wax On, Wax Off, fShep/Garrus 9/9
anonymous
May 28 2013, 01:45:32 UTC
They make it back to her hotel and lock themselves into her room. She's bound and determined to travel all the planes of his body and he's right there with her. They fall asleep curled around each other in her bed.
Garrus wakes up to his omnitool beeping that particular tone that tells him that it's Solana.
He rather stupidly answers without hesitation.
“Garrus! Garrus is this some stupid plan of yours to kill father off with a stroke!?”
He struggles into a sitting position.
“Um. I have no idea what you are saying. What did I do this time?”
“Cousin Crixis says that Aunt Scipiana's friend Lorren's daughter Cymbela saw YOU rutting a HUMAN in a bathhouse!”
Oh.
He paused too long and Solana wasn't a C-Sec officer's kid that hadn't learned anything.
“AHA! It's true!” his omnitool's speakers buzzed from her crowing. “GUILTY! Guilty as charged!”
“Aaarrrgh!”
Solana just laughed.
“Bad move, Garrus. I'm almost impressed! I mean, after all, nobody expected that you'd be so... cosmopolitan so soon after getting on the Citadel-”
Garrus made rasping scrape noise from his chest.
“But you're just going to have to try harder to knock father off. Fucking a human isn't shocking enough! If you don't want him to come after you for embarrassing the family right after an OSERUN, Garrus, I suggest you book shuttle immediately. IMMEDIATELY, Garrus! I'll ship your luggage today. Okay, farewell and all that, stupid brother!”
Solana cut the connection.
Garrus hazards a look at Shepard.
Her face is carefully blank and he's sure that's because his own face is carefully blank. Awkward.
“I. Uh. I'm not actually trying to kill my father. I love him and mother very much,” he said dutifully.
Shepard's eyebrows rose.
“I would never assume you were, Garrus. Is this okay? Are we okay? It sounds like you're in serious trouble.”
She reaches out for him, rubbing his shoulder.
“Eeeaaah. I think I'll stay away from this planet for about two. Three. Years. That should work.”
“It's that bad, huh?”
Garrus shrugged.
“There's no good way to look at it. After all,” he looks at her significantly. “you seduced me. In public. I was innocent, once.”
“Innocent, huh?” Shepard grins.
“Oh, yes. There was a time when I had no idea about the astounding instruments of debauchery that you humans just brazenly go around flaunting in public-”
“Instruments of debauchery-” Shepard barks out a laugh as Garrus pushes her backwards into the bed.
“You are very lucky that I don't feel like attempting to get popsicles banned from polite establishments,” Garrus nuzzles her neck. “I've been hopelessly corrupted, you see. It's all the human Spectre's fault, the shame of it all.”
Shepard's gasping laughter turns into plain gasping in a moment and Garrus purrs.
Re: Fill: Wax On, Wax Off, fShep/Garrus 9/9
anonymous
May 28 2013, 02:35:39 UTC
Oh my god, this is the most amazing thing ever. I was laughing so goddamn hard, and then the smut was HOT AS FUCK and . . . I just . . . I am the ded, anon. This fic, in all its awesomeness, has killed me. I love you for it. :)
Re: Fill: Wax On, Wax Off, fShep/Garrus 9/9
anonymous
May 28 2013, 10:39:23 UTC
Gooood, dude ! I loved every piece of it ! I was laughing so hard that my friends (yes, I read the kmeme at lunch break) couldn't help but asking for details and they liked it too (even though most of them aren't me fans or fanfiction fans either...)
Garrus wakes up to his omnitool beeping that particular tone that tells him that it's Solana.
He rather stupidly answers without hesitation.
“Garrus! Garrus is this some stupid plan of yours to kill father off with a stroke!?”
He struggles into a sitting position.
“Um. I have no idea what you are saying. What did I do this time?”
“Cousin Crixis says that Aunt Scipiana's friend Lorren's daughter Cymbela saw YOU rutting a HUMAN in a bathhouse!”
Oh.
He paused too long and Solana wasn't a C-Sec officer's kid that hadn't learned anything.
“AHA! It's true!” his omnitool's speakers buzzed from her crowing. “GUILTY! Guilty as charged!”
“Aaarrrgh!”
Solana just laughed.
“Bad move, Garrus. I'm almost impressed! I mean, after all, nobody expected that you'd be so... cosmopolitan so soon after getting on the Citadel-”
Garrus made rasping scrape noise from his chest.
“But you're just going to have to try harder to knock father off. Fucking a human isn't shocking enough! If you don't want him to come after you for embarrassing the family right after an OSERUN, Garrus, I suggest you book shuttle immediately. IMMEDIATELY, Garrus! I'll ship your luggage today. Okay, farewell and all that, stupid brother!”
Solana cut the connection.
Garrus hazards a look at Shepard.
Her face is carefully blank and he's sure that's because his own face is carefully blank. Awkward.
“I. Uh. I'm not actually trying to kill my father. I love him and mother very much,” he said dutifully.
Shepard's eyebrows rose.
“I would never assume you were, Garrus. Is this okay? Are we okay? It sounds like you're in serious trouble.”
She reaches out for him, rubbing his shoulder.
“Eeeaaah. I think I'll stay away from this planet for about two. Three. Years. That should work.”
“It's that bad, huh?”
Garrus shrugged.
“There's no good way to look at it. After all,” he looks at her significantly. “you seduced me. In public. I was innocent, once.”
“Innocent, huh?” Shepard grins.
“Oh, yes. There was a time when I had no idea about the astounding instruments of debauchery that you humans just brazenly go around flaunting in public-”
“Instruments of debauchery-” Shepard barks out a laugh as Garrus pushes her backwards into the bed.
“You are very lucky that I don't feel like attempting to get popsicles banned from polite establishments,” Garrus nuzzles her neck. “I've been hopelessly corrupted, you see. It's all the human Spectre's fault, the shame of it all.”
Shepard's gasping laughter turns into plain gasping in a moment and Garrus purrs.
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Here. Just letting you know.
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a brilliant, fantastic sequel! you spoil us. Have you written anything else for kmeme? :'D
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http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/6609.html?thread=30250961#t30250961
http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/6870.html?thread=31678678#t31678678
http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/6870.html?thread=32224214#t32224214
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You can find 'Catch Me, Catch Me With Your Hands' 'Enterprises Requiring New Clothes' and 'Spring Craving' through the Delicious archive.
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I knew it. This is a PUBLIC service announcement: DON"T FUCK IN PUBLIC. People notice you.
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