Re: Parental Privileges
anonymous
April 16 2013, 12:52:29 UTC
I'm really sorry if I've massacred Shepard's characterisation but aaaa I tried.
---
Ashley T'Soni craned her neck, checking for security cameras or any form of surveillance around the seedy little cafe in the Zakera Wards that could possibly have her within their sights.
Her date, Decimus, a turian she'd been meeting in such clandestine locations around the Citadel for the past three months, cleared his throat. "Ashley, not that I mind, but are you ashamed of being seen with me?"
"What?" Ashley turned her focus on Decimus. "Ashamed? No, no, no. No, Decimus." She said determinedly, reaching out and taking his hands, blue fingers twining around his talons. "I'm not ashamed. I love you, you know that. But I've explained before, my father-"
"Is very protective, I remember," Decimus smiled, mandibles curling. "But I'm a C-Sec officer, and a fine upstanding gentleman, if I do say so myself. From everything you've told me about your father, I'm sure I wouldn't disappoint him."
Ashley extracted one of her hands and ran it nervously over her scalp crest. "I haven't told you everything about my father, though."
"But you will, won't you?" Decimus asked.
"Of course." Ashley smiled weakly. Of course, she would tell Decimus the bits about her father that she'd omitted. Eventually.
Decimus smiled again, and brought the hand still in his to his mouth in an approximation of a kiss. Ashley felt her stomach flutter at the sweet gesture. She really did love Decimus, and maybe this time her father would actually understand.
"ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL."
"Oh no," Ashley murmured, taking her hand from Decimus so she could bury her face in it.
"What in all the spirits?" Decimus exclaimed, half rising from his seat, alarmed by the voice and the batarian waiter that was marching up to their table, all four eyes glowing like hot amber.
"I'm really sorry," Ashley said quickly before the Batarian reached their table.
"IDENTIFY YOURSELF," the batarian said in a harsh voice that was definitely not his own.
"What? I. Ashley?" Decimus might've been a C-Sec officer, but as Ashley knew from experience, even asari commandos quailed in front of someone possessed by a reaper.
She sighed. "Dad, this is Decimus. My boyfriend." Decimus' eyes went wide, and he mouthed 'dad?' at her. She nodded.
"BOYFRIEND?" The batarian gripped Decimus by the front of his armour and bent to glare at him. "DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW ABOUT THIS?"
Ashley batted at the batarian's arm, trying to get him to release the turian. "Dad, I'm two hundred and sixteen, I can have a boyfriend if I want! How did you even find me?"
"WE ARE LIMITLESS. ALSO I HACKED INTO YOUR OMNITOOL."
"Dad!" Ashley had to struggle not to punch the possessed batarian. "You promised you'd stop doing that. I'm telling Mom." She tapped at her omnitool, hitting buttons probably a little harder than she had to. The batarian released Decimus and folded his arms.
"SHE'S GOING TO AGREE WITH ME."
"We'll see about that," Ashley huffed, holding up her arm as a hologram of her mother appeared beside her.
"Hello, Ashley. And Decimus!" Liara T'Soni said with a smile. The smile died as she took in the scene before her. "Oh dear."
"Dad hacked into my omnitool again. And he's possessing a batarian."
"THIS BODY DOES NOT MATTER. YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS GUY?"
"Yes." Liara smiled at Decimus, who seemed to be having a little trouble staying vertical. "He's a very nice boy." Ashley slid closer to Decimus and put a protective arm around his shoulder, whispering in his ear.
The batarian fell silent for a moment. He even looked a little sullen. "THIS CHANGES NOTHING."
After two centuries or so of learning to handle having the controlling force behind the reapers as her bond mate, Liara was probably the only creature alive who could glower at a reaper. "John Shepard, are you saying my opinion doesn't matter?"
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT."
"I hope it wasn't, because I'd like to think you'd consider me an equal."
"OF COURSE I DO. BUT SHE'S ONLY TWO HUNDRED."
"You were only 29, as I recall," Liara pointed out.
Re: Parental Privileges (2/2)
anonymous
April 16 2013, 12:53:22 UTC
"THAT'S DIFFERENT. HEY WHERE DID THEY GO?" John had evidently just noticed that Ashley and Decimus had slipped out together, leaving behind Ashley's omnitool so that Liara could keep him distracted. "I'LL FIND THEM. ESCAPE IS IMPOSSIBLE."
"John!" Liara called out, but it was too late. The batarian slumped to the ground as John released his body, still breathing but unconscious.
---
"Your father's a reaper?" Decimus asked for what seemed like the thousandth time since they'd left the cafe. Ashley hurried him along, one hand clamped around his wrist as they ran. Any minute now her father would notice they'd gone and he could possess any one of the assorted mix of bystanders between them and her apartment.
"It just seems like something you'd mention!" Decimus shouted as they entered the presidium commons.
"I never found the right moment!" Ashley called back to him.
They were just past the large advertisement screens and practically home free when suddenly the sky darkened over the commons. People screamed, but their screams were drowned out by the deafening blast of a reaper klaxon. A reaper decended from the sky and the ground shook as it landed on the commons, crushing the tables, chairs and neatly trimmed hedges as it all but pressed its large glowing eye to the windows, searching for Ashley.
"I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS," John had possessed a volus of all things. It lumbered toward Ashley. "THIS EMBARRASSES YOU."
"By the fucking Goddess, Dad!" Ashley yelled.
"Um, sir," Decimus said, voice strangely calm as he addressed the volus, though all the colour had drained from his neck, and his mandibles had gone stiff as a board.
"Decimus, what are you doing?" Ashley hissed, tugging at his arm. Decimus patted her hand, apparently trying to be reassuring.
"Commander Shepard, right? Hello," Decimus said with a salute. "I'm Decimus. I apologise for not asking your permission to court your daughter, but she hadn't mentioned you were a reaper. Not-" Decimus added quickly when the reaper in the courtyard blared a warning "-that it's her fault. I understand how it could be a difficult subject to bring up. Anyway, if you'd let me, I'd like to prove I'm worthy of her. We could have dinner. You pick the place."
Ashley stared from reaper to volus to Decimus, hardly daring to breathe too loudly for fear of upsetting whatever delicate balance Decimus had managed to achieve. None of her exes had ever lasted past the first reaper klaxon.
"THAT IS ACCEPTABLE." A ripple of relief flowed throughout the commons. Clearly, Ashley and Decimus weren't the only ones waiting with bated breath for John's response. No one wanted to have to deal with a pissed off reaper ravaging the Citadel more than it already had.
"BUT KNOW THIS," John added, making the volus raise a threatening finger. "IF YOU HURT ASHLEY MY ATTACKS WILL TEAR YOU APART."
"Okay, Dad, he gets it. You can go away now." Ashley shooed at the reaper.
"I LOVE YOU," the volus said as the reaper waved one massive tentacle at her. It tried to set a fallen table back on its legs before giving up and flying away. Decimus caught the volus as it collapsed, and left it propped against the wall.
"That was..." he trailed off, looking for a word. "Intense."
"You handled yourself pretty well," Ashley said, laughing as she started to find the humour in their situation.
"I think I need to change my underpants," Decimus said, shifting uncomfortably as he and Ashley resumed their path to her apartment, going at a much more leisurely pace.
Re: Parental Privileges (2/2)
anonymous
April 16 2013, 21:28:22 UTC
OMG! This is the best thing ever. I can't stop laughing!! He made the reaper come down onto the citadel. Jesus i can't.
As soon as I saw "ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL" I was cracking up and couldn't stop. Then he's all "I LOVE YOU" as a reaper let me dieeeee. He even tries to set the table back!!!! This is the best thing ever. I seriously can't! Thanks A!A. All the awards (or unborn babies as promised) to you.
Re: Parental Privileges (2/2)
anonymous
April 17 2013, 15:59:53 UTC
Read the premise of the story and thought I might see a somewhat typical Reapershep in a regular size, humanoid, synthetic body kind of scenario. I have never been so happy to be wrong. You brought me to tears with laughter and I thank you though now all I want is MORE!
Re: Parental Privileges (2/2)
anonymous
June 9 2013, 06:57:38 UTC
.... I love this. Giggling like an idiot at 3am reading it- "THIS EMBARESSES YOU" was just...... oh god it hurts to laugh! And then the guy actually stands up and tries to talk to Reaper!Shep!Volus and I melted a little because oooh my god adorable. I need to see this dinner. This fill can only get better.
Also the giant reaper waving, bellowing it loves her and trying to right the table just ckghfdkghfdjghfdlkghfdkjg
---
Ashley T'Soni craned her neck, checking for security cameras or any form of surveillance around the seedy little cafe in the Zakera Wards that could possibly have her within their sights.
Her date, Decimus, a turian she'd been meeting in such clandestine locations around the Citadel for the past three months, cleared his throat. "Ashley, not that I mind, but are you ashamed of being seen with me?"
"What?" Ashley turned her focus on Decimus. "Ashamed? No, no, no. No, Decimus." She said determinedly, reaching out and taking his hands, blue fingers twining around his talons. "I'm not ashamed. I love you, you know that. But I've explained before, my father-"
"Is very protective, I remember," Decimus smiled, mandibles curling. "But I'm a C-Sec officer, and a fine upstanding gentleman, if I do say so myself. From everything you've told me about your father, I'm sure I wouldn't disappoint him."
Ashley extracted one of her hands and ran it nervously over her scalp crest. "I haven't told you everything about my father, though."
"But you will, won't you?" Decimus asked.
"Of course." Ashley smiled weakly. Of course, she would tell Decimus the bits about her father that she'd omitted. Eventually.
Decimus smiled again, and brought the hand still in his to his mouth in an approximation of a kiss. Ashley felt her stomach flutter at the sweet gesture. She really did love Decimus, and maybe this time her father would actually understand.
"ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL."
"Oh no," Ashley murmured, taking her hand from Decimus so she could bury her face in it.
"What in all the spirits?" Decimus exclaimed, half rising from his seat, alarmed by the voice and the batarian waiter that was marching up to their table, all four eyes glowing like hot amber.
"I'm really sorry," Ashley said quickly before the Batarian reached their table.
"IDENTIFY YOURSELF," the batarian said in a harsh voice that was definitely not his own.
"What? I. Ashley?" Decimus might've been a C-Sec officer, but as Ashley knew from experience, even asari commandos quailed in front of someone possessed by a reaper.
She sighed. "Dad, this is Decimus. My boyfriend." Decimus' eyes went wide, and he mouthed 'dad?' at her. She nodded.
"BOYFRIEND?" The batarian gripped Decimus by the front of his armour and bent to glare at him. "DOES YOUR MOTHER KNOW ABOUT THIS?"
Ashley batted at the batarian's arm, trying to get him to release the turian. "Dad, I'm two hundred and sixteen, I can have a boyfriend if I want! How did you even find me?"
"WE ARE LIMITLESS. ALSO I HACKED INTO YOUR OMNITOOL."
"Dad!" Ashley had to struggle not to punch the possessed batarian. "You promised you'd stop doing that. I'm telling Mom." She tapped at her omnitool, hitting buttons probably a little harder than she had to. The batarian released Decimus and folded his arms.
"SHE'S GOING TO AGREE WITH ME."
"We'll see about that," Ashley huffed, holding up her arm as a hologram of her mother appeared beside her.
"Hello, Ashley. And Decimus!" Liara T'Soni said with a smile. The smile died as she took in the scene before her. "Oh dear."
"Dad hacked into my omnitool again. And he's possessing a batarian."
"THIS BODY DOES NOT MATTER. YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS GUY?"
"Yes." Liara smiled at Decimus, who seemed to be having a little trouble staying vertical. "He's a very nice boy." Ashley slid closer to Decimus and put a protective arm around his shoulder, whispering in his ear.
The batarian fell silent for a moment. He even looked a little sullen. "THIS CHANGES NOTHING."
After two centuries or so of learning to handle having the controlling force behind the reapers as her bond mate, Liara was probably the only creature alive who could glower at a reaper. "John Shepard, are you saying my opinion doesn't matter?"
"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT."
"I hope it wasn't, because I'd like to think you'd consider me an equal."
"OF COURSE I DO. BUT SHE'S ONLY TWO HUNDRED."
"You were only 29, as I recall," Liara pointed out.
[TBC]
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"John!" Liara called out, but it was too late. The batarian slumped to the ground as John released his body, still breathing but unconscious.
---
"Your father's a reaper?" Decimus asked for what seemed like the thousandth time since they'd left the cafe. Ashley hurried him along, one hand clamped around his wrist as they ran. Any minute now her father would notice they'd gone and he could possess any one of the assorted mix of bystanders between them and her apartment.
"It just seems like something you'd mention!" Decimus shouted as they entered the presidium commons.
"I never found the right moment!" Ashley called back to him.
They were just past the large advertisement screens and practically home free when suddenly the sky darkened over the commons. People screamed, but their screams were drowned out by the deafening blast of a reaper klaxon. A reaper decended from the sky and the ground shook as it landed on the commons, crushing the tables, chairs and neatly trimmed hedges as it all but pressed its large glowing eye to the windows, searching for Ashley.
"I KNOW YOU FEEL THIS," John had possessed a volus of all things. It lumbered toward Ashley. "THIS EMBARRASSES YOU."
"By the fucking Goddess, Dad!" Ashley yelled.
"Um, sir," Decimus said, voice strangely calm as he addressed the volus, though all the colour had drained from his neck, and his mandibles had gone stiff as a board.
"Decimus, what are you doing?" Ashley hissed, tugging at his arm. Decimus patted her hand, apparently trying to be reassuring.
"Commander Shepard, right? Hello," Decimus said with a salute. "I'm Decimus. I apologise for not asking your permission to court your daughter, but she hadn't mentioned you were a reaper. Not-" Decimus added quickly when the reaper in the courtyard blared a warning "-that it's her fault. I understand how it could be a difficult subject to bring up. Anyway, if you'd let me, I'd like to prove I'm worthy of her. We could have dinner. You pick the place."
Ashley stared from reaper to volus to Decimus, hardly daring to breathe too loudly for fear of upsetting whatever delicate balance Decimus had managed to achieve. None of her exes had ever lasted past the first reaper klaxon.
"THAT IS ACCEPTABLE." A ripple of relief flowed throughout the commons. Clearly, Ashley and Decimus weren't the only ones waiting with bated breath for John's response. No one wanted to have to deal with a pissed off reaper ravaging the Citadel more than it already had.
"BUT KNOW THIS," John added, making the volus raise a threatening finger. "IF YOU HURT ASHLEY MY ATTACKS WILL TEAR YOU APART."
"Okay, Dad, he gets it. You can go away now." Ashley shooed at the reaper.
"I LOVE YOU," the volus said as the reaper waved one massive tentacle at her. It tried to set a fallen table back on its legs before giving up and flying away. Decimus caught the volus as it collapsed, and left it propped against the wall.
"That was..." he trailed off, looking for a word. "Intense."
"You handled yourself pretty well," Ashley said, laughing as she started to find the humour in their situation.
"I think I need to change my underpants," Decimus said, shifting uncomfortably as he and Ashley resumed their path to her apartment, going at a much more leisurely pace.
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great work a!a
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As soon as I saw "ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL" I was cracking up and couldn't stop. Then he's all "I LOVE YOU" as a reaper let me dieeeee. He even tries to set the table back!!!! This is the best thing ever. I seriously can't! Thanks A!A. All the awards (or unborn babies as promised) to you.
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That was great. All of it. XD
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laughed like mad at this, especially since i'm replaying ME3 and Joker just mentioned something about teaching the reapers to love.
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This is also now one of my Canon endings for Control.
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Also the giant reaper waving, bellowing it loves her and trying to right the table just ckghfdkghfdjghfdlkghfdkjg
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