Unsuited, 2/?
anonymous
January 1 2013, 22:43:43 UTC
Saren set the sniffling asari down and crossed his arms irritably. "Stop making that noise." The asari gave a huge hiccup and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her deep blue robes. "What is your name, asari?" No response, just a skittish glance. Saren rolled his eyes for what felt like the twentieth time in as many minutes, and tapped at his omni-tool to bring up his ID. "I am a Spectre. My name is Saren Arterius, and I am under orders to see you safely back to Council space. I will not harm you. You may trust me." She stared into the glow of his omni-tool, then at his face, which didn't inspire much trust, with its seemingly permanent glower, but at the same time, a Spectre... "'m n'me 's 'lara," she mumbled. He gave an annoyed huff, having understood none of that, and opened a video channel to the Citadel. Sparatus picked up quickly, and squinted. "Did you find her?" "I believe so," said Saren, stepping aside so the Councilor could see, "but she will not trust that I am here on your orders. Reassure her, Councilor." Sparatus was about to answer, but she jumped upon catching sight of him, and a huge grin broke through the tears. "Papa!"
Silence. Awkward silence.
Saren eyed Sparatus, who suddenly seemed to find the floor absolutely fascinating. "Yes... That's her. Hello, Alara. Saren is going to bring you home." The little asari nodded easily. "Bring her to the Council chambers, Saren. I will meet you there." "Fine." "I'm not going to talk about it." "I don't care. I didn't ask." "Right. I know you didn't. Well. ... Safe journey. Alara, behave." Saren closed the connection and eyed her. She was sure he was going to say something, ask her if she was -positive- that Sparatus was her father, but he stalked off to the bridge instead. She followed, out of a lack of anything else to do. When she caught up to him, he was setting course for the Citadel. She watched him solemnly. "Mister Saren?" A grunt, and an irritated twitch of his mandibles. "What." "I have to go to the bathroom." He drew back from the console and blinked at her. "Then go. You do not need my permission for such things." Alara did a little jig in place and wrung her robes in her hands. "I'm afraid of the monster, mister Saren." That only got her a confused look and a distinct lack of cooing sympathy. "There are no monsters, asari. Don't be ridiculous." She frowned. Sparatus and her mother had always been understanding of such things as the monster in the bathroom. Clearly Saren didn't know, and needed to be properly informed for his own safety. "There's a black hand that lives in toilets and when you go poo, the hand comes out and it offers to wipe your-" Saren waved hurriedly at her. "That is preposterous, and extremely unhygienic. I'll show you." He stalked off in the direction of the sole bathroom on his ship, Alara tagging along behind him, and toed the door open. A brief glance showed no sign of any eldritch horrors, toilet-dwelling or otherwise. "There. Nothing. Go about your business and don't bother me." said Saren, and was about to go prepare a meal for himself, when a little tug on a leg spur stopped him. His eyes rolled up, then down at her deadly serious face. "You're supposed to stand guard outside, mister Saren. In case the monster gets me. Papa said you were going to keep me safe, and he's your boss, so you gotta do what he tells you." she said, with a hint of... was that smugness? Saren's mandibles twitched in annoyance again. "The Councilor said I was to return you safely to the Citadel, not humor you in your ridiculous delusions. Get off." Alara studied him for a moment. Without warning, she scrunched up her face and gave a huge wail that echoed off the walls of the ship and drilled directly into Saren's brains. He actually staggered from the volume of her sobbing, and pushed her into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her. "JUST HURRY UP!"
Unsuited, 3/?
anonymous
January 1 2013, 22:49:32 UTC
Saren was still nursing his headache several hours later when Alara appeared at his side again, rubbing slowly at her eyes. He eyed her suspiciously. "What is it now, brat?" he snapped. "I'm sleepy, mister Saren." came the soft response.
He clenched the armrests of his chair and shut his eyes with an expression of suffering. He didn't understand why the child felt the need to inform him of -everything-, as if she was incapable of taking any action of her own. So she was tired. What was he supposed to do, throw a party? "Why are you telling me this?" he asked. "I want a story, mister Saren."
That headache was really aching magnificently now.
"I have no stories fit for children. Get out. There is a spare cot in the back room you may use." Alara stayed right where she was, swaying gently in place. "Need a story or I can't sleep, mister Saren." He dragged a hand down his face, sighing. "Very well. I once shoved an asari child out of the airlock because she wouldn't shut up. The end." She stared patiently. "That was a dumb story. I want a better one." "You can't have one. Go away and sleep. We still have a few more hours to go until we reach the Citadel." Alara's face screwed up alarmingly, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, and Saren Arterius, who had once killed a krogan with his bare hands, felt a sudden twist of true dread. "Stop that. Fine. Get into bed and I will give you a... better story." She skipped away from him very gaily for someone who claimed to be so tired, and he trudged after her, grumbling the whole way. The cot he'd mentioned only had a thin blanket on it, but the ship was not cold, and Alara drew it up to her chin, watching him with a rapt expression. Saren thought for a moment, planning on horrifying the child into silence with as little trauma as possible, as per his orders. "I once killed a quarian with his own weapon and watched him die," he deadpanned. Alara didn't seem particularly impressed. "So?" Saren blinked. "What do you mean, -so-?" "Blasto did way worse than that in Blasto 3: Revenge Never Dies, like when he killed that one salarian bad guy by throwing him into the Citadel's ventilation fans, and he got all diced up!" She waved, trying to recreate this for Saren's benefit. "Blasto threw him in, and the fans went womp womp womp and the salarian was like, 'It'll take more than death to stop me, Blasto!' and then the fan blades went like fzzip and the salarian started screaming and there was blood all over! All over the place, mister Saren! My friends were grossed out, but the blood looked so fake, you could tell it wasn't real." she finished smugly, as if she was an expert on people diced up in fans.
Saren stared blankly at her grinning face. He didn't keep up with entertainment vids, believing them to be pointless drivel, and this was only proving him right. He was also fairly certain the little asari was insane. When more of his story didn't follow, she prompted him with "How come you killed the guy?" "He supplied illegal hallucinogenic drugs to major star systems." came the eventual answer. "What's a... hallu... a haloosin..." "Hallucinogenic. They alter your perception of reality. They can make you see things that aren't really there, hear things that don't exist. Such substances that fall within Council restrictions and are thus legal are relatively harmless, used solely for pointless recreation. The quarian's, however, stressed the nervous systems of various races to the point of death." Alara seemed to digest this, slowly. "So you killed him because he was... bad? Like the people who took me away?" she ventured. Saren gave a curt nod. Alara watched him for an uncomfortable second. "Good," she said, and flopped over onto the pillow with her eyes shut.
That was... easily the third strangest conversation Saren had held in his entire life.
He watched Alara long enough to make sure she was truly asleep, then returned to the bridge.
Re: Unsuited, 3/?
anonymous
January 2 2013, 00:09:59 UTC
This is fantastic so far! I can see Saren facepalming through this entire thing, just, "By the Spirits, tiny mortal, have you any idea how important I am?" Lol, love this. :)
Oh my god someone's filling this!!! So far this is utterly precious- I love how you're portraying Saren and Alara is delightful. This is so much of what I wanted A!A., and I'm grinning like an idiot. Can't wait to see what you do with Nihlus!
The bit where he was vaguely disapointed when he couldn't just kill everyone with a grenade, precious. And the wracking headaches over dealing with a strange small child, and the quality of Saren's stories, and the note that this was the third strangest conversation he'd ever had? Glorious.
Re: Unsuited, 3/?
anonymous
January 2 2013, 13:14:52 UTC
This is inspired :-D Giggling, snorting, grinning, smirking... having the best reactions ever sitting here reading this. I love it. Can't get rid of the image of a truly haggard Saren in my head and not minding that one bit :-)
You also made me annoyingly curious as to the first two strangest conversations in Sarens life.
Ahhh I've missed Saren (and Nihlus) on the meme... thank you, A!A!!
Oh...gosh. You guys are so incredibly kind! Thank you for all the compliments, you've given this author anon serious warm fuzzies. This is my first submission ever, and I don't write habitually (I don't even have a beta reader) so I was a little afraid of the reaction I would get. Thank you all very much! More is coming!
Thanks for the prompt, OP. :) When I saw it, I thought it was the cutest idea!
OP hath art
anonymous
January 4 2013, 08:49:20 UTC
When you said she was grabbing onto his horn I was giggling so hard that I had to doodle something- knocked this out during slow periods at work and just finished fussing with it ^^
A!A is astonished.
anonymous
January 5 2013, 18:11:58 UTC
OP you are the most wonderful human being in the world! Thank you so much, no one's ever drawn anything to my words before! Gosh, it's a good feeling. It's adorable, his disgruntled expression and the way she's snagged him, it's all great! Thank you!
More fic is coming. I've written out the next part, it just needs to be formatted properly and uploaded, probably sometime on Sunday or early next week.
Unsuited, 4/?
anonymous
January 14 2013, 08:19:34 UTC
Saren shook Alara awake only three hours later. She blinked blearily at him.
"What is it, mister Saren?" "We've arrived at the Citadel. Get up. The sooner I return you to your father," and here he snorted, "the sooner we will be free of one another."
Alara slid obediently off the cot, yawning, and wobbled slowly after Saren as he grumped off to the airlock. She seemed unable to stay alert as they stood waiting for interior pressure to match exterior atmosphere, and caught herself from falling over more than once. Saren watched her out of the corner of his eye to ensure she didn't end up touching him, especially after that gruesome bathroom story. He suppressed a shudder.
... Unfortunately, he did have to ensure that she wouldn't get lost, which meant some sort of contact would be necessary.
Inspiration struck. He opened a small compartment on his armor and reeled out a length of cord, which he normally used for parachutes or rappelling. He secured one end to a hook in the compartment, and reached for Alara's wrist. She recoiled violently when she noticed the rope in his hand and cried "No!"
Saren paused, tilting his head to one side at the unexpected reaction. Ah. Of course.
"Because of the mercenaries?" he ventured. Alara nodded and put both hands behind her back. "I am not those people. I simply want to ensure you don't get lost before-" "How come I can't ride on your shoulder again?"
That was before I found out you're a little horrible monster, Saren thought to himself.
Aloud, he said, "It would not be seemly in public."
She inched closer and tentatively gripped one of his fingers in her entire small hand.
He twitched.
"Is this better, mister Saren?"
He thought about it. Actually yes, it probably was the less embarrassing of the two options, especially if she got it into her head to grip his fringe again.
"Fine. Do not let go of me." he groused.
She did a skipping sort of jump and smiled as he wound up the cord and put it away.
"Thank you, mister Saren. I'll tell papa to give you a bonus."
Part of Saren bristled at the thought that anyone would think he could be motivated with something like money, but then a tiny part of him gave a kick.
... He had been looking at upgrading the engines...
Unsuited, 5/?
anonymous
January 14 2013, 08:27:54 UTC
"What do you -mean- you're too busy, Councilor?!" "I mean that I'm too busy. The rest of my foreseeable future is taken up with meetings, Saren. Important ones, and I am afraid I cannot retrieve Alara at this time."
Saren dragged his free hand down his face, giving voice to a low growl. Alara chose that moment to tug at him.
"I'm hungry, mister Saren. Can we go eat?" He spared her a glance. "I have no levo food for you." "Can we go -get- some?" "No, your -father- is supposed to take you back. -He- can feed you." "I'm afraid I cannot, Saren. I have no time, and even this conversation is more than I can spare. Get her something on the Citadel, but don't let her out of your sight! I would prefer it if she weren't seen at all." "Councilor-" "Those are your official orders, Saren!" barked Sparatus, and cut the video connection.
Saren stood staring at the blank console, clenching and unclenching his fists, certain that Sparatus was enjoying this on some level.
Alara tugged at him again. "Mister Saren..." "Fine. We're going." Saren eyed her, wondering how he was to keep an eye on her andmake sure she stayed out of sight. He considered leaving her in her room, entirely confident in his ship's security, but the thought of leaving the little blue horror alone on his beloved ship...
He shuddered. Spirits knew what sort of mischief she would cause.
Alara seemed to understand what he was thinking, because she reached behind her head and tugged a hood over her. It was deep enough to at least cast a shadow on her face when she looked up at him for approval.
He nodded. "Good. Now, food. We are staying on the Presidium, as it's safer-" Saren stared as the little beast began to jump excitedly. "If we're on the Presidium, then can we go to Brekk's Burgers?"
Saren made a face. The human food known as "burgers" had become very popular in the galactic community recently, and he could not understand why. Meat, yes. Vegetables, certainly. But rotten bovine secretion was a popular topping, and it was all slathered in mysterious sauces. The whole ghastly concoction dripped when it was served and eaten. Saren had seen a human eating a burger once, and he'd had to lie down in a quiet dark room afterwards.
"No. Those are disgusting." he told Alara. Her lower lip wobbled...
"Stop making that noise."
The asari gave a huge hiccup and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her deep blue robes.
"What is your name, asari?"
No response, just a skittish glance. Saren rolled his eyes for what felt like the twentieth time in as many minutes, and tapped at his omni-tool to bring up his ID.
"I am a Spectre. My name is Saren Arterius, and I am under orders to see you safely back to Council
space. I will not harm you. You may trust me."
She stared into the glow of his omni-tool, then at his face, which didn't inspire much trust, with its
seemingly permanent glower, but at the same time, a Spectre...
"'m n'me 's 'lara," she mumbled.
He gave an annoyed huff, having understood none of that, and opened a video channel to the Citadel. Sparatus picked up quickly, and squinted.
"Did you find her?"
"I believe so," said Saren, stepping aside so the Councilor could see, "but she will not trust that I am here on your orders. Reassure her, Councilor."
Sparatus was about to answer, but she jumped upon catching sight of him, and a huge grin broke through the tears.
"Papa!"
Silence. Awkward silence.
Saren eyed Sparatus, who suddenly seemed to find the floor absolutely fascinating.
"Yes... That's her. Hello, Alara. Saren is going to bring you home."
The little asari nodded easily.
"Bring her to the Council chambers, Saren. I will meet you there."
"Fine."
"I'm not going to talk about it."
"I don't care. I didn't ask."
"Right. I know you didn't. Well. ... Safe journey. Alara, behave."
Saren closed the connection and eyed her. She was sure he was going to say something, ask her if she
was -positive- that Sparatus was her father, but he stalked off to the bridge instead. She followed, out of a lack of anything else to do.
When she caught up to him, he was setting course for the Citadel. She watched him solemnly.
"Mister Saren?"
A grunt, and an irritated twitch of his mandibles. "What."
"I have to go to the bathroom."
He drew back from the console and blinked at her. "Then go. You do not need my permission for such things."
Alara did a little jig in place and wrung her robes in her hands. "I'm afraid of the monster, mister Saren."
That only got her a confused look and a distinct lack of cooing sympathy. "There are no monsters, asari. Don't be ridiculous."
She frowned. Sparatus and her mother had always been understanding of such things as the monster in the bathroom. Clearly Saren didn't know, and needed to be properly informed for his own safety. "There's a black hand that lives in toilets and when you go poo, the hand comes out and it offers to wipe your-"
Saren waved hurriedly at her. "That is preposterous, and extremely unhygienic. I'll show you."
He stalked off in the direction of the sole bathroom on his ship, Alara tagging along behind him, and toed the door open. A brief glance showed no sign of any eldritch horrors, toilet-dwelling or otherwise.
"There. Nothing. Go about your business and don't bother me." said Saren, and was about to go prepare a meal for himself, when a little tug on a leg spur stopped him. His eyes rolled up, then down at her deadly serious face.
"You're supposed to stand guard outside, mister Saren. In case the monster gets me. Papa said you were going to keep me safe, and he's your boss, so you gotta do what he tells you." she said, with a hint of... was that smugness? Saren's mandibles twitched in annoyance again.
"The Councilor said I was to return you safely to the Citadel, not humor you in your ridiculous delusions. Get off."
Alara studied him for a moment. Without warning, she scrunched up her face and gave a huge wail that echoed off the walls of the ship and drilled directly into Saren's brains. He actually staggered from the volume of her sobbing, and pushed her into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.
"JUST HURRY UP!"
Reply
"What is it now, brat?" he snapped.
"I'm sleepy, mister Saren." came the soft response.
He clenched the armrests of his chair and shut his eyes with an expression of suffering. He didn't understand why the child felt the need to inform him of -everything-, as if she was incapable of taking any action of her own. So she was tired. What was he supposed to do, throw a party?
"Why are you telling me this?" he asked.
"I want a story, mister Saren."
That headache was really aching magnificently now.
"I have no stories fit for children. Get out. There is a spare cot in the back room you may use."
Alara stayed right where she was, swaying gently in place. "Need a story or I can't sleep, mister Saren."
He dragged a hand down his face, sighing. "Very well. I once shoved an asari child out of the airlock because she wouldn't shut up. The end."
She stared patiently. "That was a dumb story. I want a better one."
"You can't have one. Go away and sleep. We still have a few more hours to go until we reach the Citadel."
Alara's face screwed up alarmingly, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, and Saren Arterius, who had once killed a krogan with his bare hands, felt a sudden twist of true dread. "Stop that. Fine. Get into bed and I will give you a... better story."
She skipped away from him very gaily for someone who claimed to be so tired, and he trudged after her, grumbling the whole way.
The cot he'd mentioned only had a thin blanket on it, but the ship was not cold, and Alara drew it up to her chin, watching him with a rapt expression. Saren thought for a moment, planning on horrifying the child into silence with as little trauma as possible, as per his orders.
"I once killed a quarian with his own weapon and watched him die," he deadpanned.
Alara didn't seem particularly impressed. "So?"
Saren blinked. "What do you mean, -so-?"
"Blasto did way worse than that in Blasto 3: Revenge Never Dies, like when he killed that one salarian bad guy by throwing him into the Citadel's ventilation fans, and he got all diced up!" She waved, trying to recreate this for Saren's benefit. "Blasto threw him in, and the fans went womp womp womp and the salarian was like, 'It'll take more than death to stop me, Blasto!' and then the fan blades went like fzzip and the salarian started screaming and there was blood all over! All over the place, mister Saren! My friends were grossed out, but the blood looked so fake, you could tell it wasn't real." she finished smugly, as if she was an expert on people diced up in fans.
Saren stared blankly at her grinning face. He didn't keep up with entertainment vids, believing them to be pointless drivel, and this was only proving him right. He was also fairly certain the little asari was insane.
When more of his story didn't follow, she prompted him with "How come you killed the guy?"
"He supplied illegal hallucinogenic drugs to major star systems." came the eventual answer.
"What's a... hallu... a haloosin..."
"Hallucinogenic. They alter your perception of reality. They can make you see things that aren't really there, hear things that don't exist. Such substances that fall within Council restrictions and are thus legal are relatively harmless, used solely for pointless recreation. The quarian's, however, stressed the nervous systems of various races to the point of death."
Alara seemed to digest this, slowly.
"So you killed him because he was... bad? Like the people who took me away?" she ventured.
Saren gave a curt nod. Alara watched him for an uncomfortable second.
"Good," she said, and flopped over onto the pillow with her eyes shut.
That was... easily the third strangest conversation Saren had held in his entire life.
He watched Alara long enough to make sure she was truly asleep, then returned to the bridge.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
The bit where he was vaguely disapointed when he couldn't just kill everyone with a grenade, precious. And the wracking headaches over dealing with a strange small child, and the quality of Saren's stories, and the note that this was the third strangest conversation he'd ever had? Glorious.
Reply
Reply
Giggling, snorting, grinning, smirking... having the best reactions ever sitting here reading this. I love it. Can't get rid of the image of a truly haggard Saren in my head and not minding that one bit :-)
You also made me annoyingly curious as to the first two strangest conversations in Sarens life.
Ahhh I've missed Saren (and Nihlus) on the meme... thank you, A!A!!
Reply
Thanks for the prompt, OP. :) When I saw it, I thought it was the cutest idea!
Reply
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a69/Velasa/Bribes%20for%20the%20Kmeme/S_babysitting_zpsd4a00da6.jpg
*grinning* And thank you for filling!
Reply
Reply
Reply
More fic is coming. I've written out the next part, it just needs to be formatted properly and uploaded, probably sometime on Sunday or early next week.
Reply
Reply
"What is it, mister Saren?"
"We've arrived at the Citadel. Get up. The sooner I return you to your father," and here he snorted, "the sooner we will be free of one another."
Alara slid obediently off the cot, yawning, and wobbled slowly after Saren as he grumped off to the airlock.
She seemed unable to stay alert as they stood waiting for interior pressure to match exterior atmosphere, and caught herself from falling over more than once. Saren watched her out of the corner of his eye to ensure she didn't end up touching him, especially after that gruesome bathroom story. He suppressed a shudder.
... Unfortunately, he did have to ensure that she wouldn't get lost, which meant some sort of contact would be necessary.
Inspiration struck. He opened a small compartment on his armor and reeled out a length of cord, which he normally used for parachutes or rappelling. He secured one end to a hook in the compartment, and reached for Alara's wrist. She recoiled violently when she noticed the rope in his hand and cried "No!"
Saren paused, tilting his head to one side at the unexpected reaction. Ah. Of course.
"Because of the mercenaries?" he ventured. Alara nodded and put both hands behind her back.
"I am not those people. I simply want to ensure you don't get lost before-"
"How come I can't ride on your shoulder again?"
That was before I found out you're a little horrible monster, Saren thought to himself.
Aloud, he said, "It would not be seemly in public."
She inched closer and tentatively gripped one of his fingers in her entire small hand.
He twitched.
"Is this better, mister Saren?"
He thought about it. Actually yes, it probably was the less embarrassing of the two options, especially if she got it into her head to grip his fringe again.
"Fine. Do not let go of me." he groused.
She did a skipping sort of jump and smiled as he wound up the cord and put it away.
"Thank you, mister Saren. I'll tell papa to give you a bonus."
Part of Saren bristled at the thought that anyone would think he could be motivated with something like money, but then a tiny part of him gave a kick.
... He had been looking at upgrading the engines...
Reply
"I mean that I'm too busy. The rest of my foreseeable future is taken up with meetings, Saren. Important ones, and I am afraid I cannot retrieve Alara at this time."
Saren dragged his free hand down his face, giving voice to a low growl. Alara chose that moment to tug at him.
"I'm hungry, mister Saren. Can we go eat?"
He spared her a glance. "I have no levo food for you."
"Can we go -get- some?"
"No, your -father- is supposed to take you back. -He- can feed you."
"I'm afraid I cannot, Saren. I have no time, and even this conversation is more than I can spare. Get her something on the Citadel, but don't let her out of your sight! I would prefer it if she weren't seen at all."
"Councilor-"
"Those are your official orders, Saren!" barked Sparatus, and cut the video connection.
Saren stood staring at the blank console, clenching and unclenching his fists, certain that Sparatus was enjoying this on some level.
Alara tugged at him again. "Mister Saren..."
"Fine. We're going." Saren eyed her, wondering how he was to keep an eye on her andmake sure she stayed out of sight. He considered leaving her in her room, entirely confident in his ship's security, but the thought of leaving the little blue horror alone on his beloved ship...
He shuddered. Spirits knew what sort of mischief she would cause.
Alara seemed to understand what he was thinking, because she reached behind her head and tugged a hood over her. It was deep enough to at least cast a shadow on her face when she looked up at him for approval.
He nodded. "Good. Now, food. We are staying on the Presidium, as it's safer-"
Saren stared as the little beast began to jump excitedly.
"If we're on the Presidium, then can we go to Brekk's Burgers?"
Saren made a face. The human food known as "burgers" had become very popular in the galactic community recently, and he could not understand why. Meat, yes. Vegetables, certainly. But rotten bovine secretion was a popular topping, and it was all slathered in mysterious sauces. The whole ghastly concoction dripped when it was served and eaten. Saren had seen a human eating a burger once, and he'd had to lie down in a quiet dark room afterwards.
"No. Those are disgusting." he told Alara.
Her lower lip wobbled...
Reply
Leave a comment