Shotgun a a Verb 5/20
anonymous
November 11 2012, 19:13:59 UTC
Shepard took out the small container and removed a largeish bud, placing it on the coffee table. As she began to break it up into small pieces, the turian picked up the bag with the rest of the greenery and began to inspect it. "So what is this stuff from? A tree?" Garrus asked, his rich voice full of skepticism. "The package says 'Mango Pine Clusterfuck', but that's what, a brand name or something? ...It actually smells kind of good. Fruity."
Shepard smiled as she finished filling the pipe's small bowl. "It doesn't grow on a tree, these are actually dried flowers. And as far as being exotic... well, this stuff was probably grown indoors, but if left on its own, cannabis will grow wild just about any but the most extreme climates on Earth. Other planets too. I've heard rumors it grows wild on Tuchanka these days."
"Everything makes so much more sense now." Garrus gasped as Shepard picked up the pipe. "A mostly benign drug that will grow almost anywhere and everywhere on Earth? I knew I was missing something. Humans aren't crazy, they're just high all the time."
Shepard elbowed Garrus in the side. "You're such a racist asshole."
"Yeah, yeah. So do you have a plan for how I'm supposed to do this? Turians don't traditionally use intoxicants by burning them. Our mouths don't do the whole, uh, suction thing very well."
Re: Shotgun a a Verb 5/20
anonymous
November 11 2012, 19:19:46 UTC
OH MY GOD, high Garrus is going to be fucking hilarious! You're a genius, a!a, I've been thinking of this exact scenario for months, and you're writing it really well. Loving this so far, and I don't think there are many other "stoned" fics out there but I can't wait for more! f5ing like crazy over here. XD
Shepard smiled as she finished filling the pipe's small bowl. "It doesn't grow on a tree, these are actually dried flowers. And as far as being exotic... well, this stuff was probably grown indoors, but if left on its own, cannabis will grow wild just about any but the most extreme climates on Earth. Other planets too. I've heard rumors it grows wild on Tuchanka these days."
"Everything makes so much more sense now." Garrus gasped as Shepard picked up the pipe. "A mostly benign drug that will grow almost anywhere and everywhere on Earth? I knew I was missing something. Humans aren't crazy, they're just high all the time."
Shepard elbowed Garrus in the side. "You're such a racist asshole."
"Yeah, yeah. So do you have a plan for how I'm supposed to do this? Turians don't traditionally use intoxicants by burning them. Our mouths don't do the whole, uh, suction thing very well."
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Also, "Mango Pine Clusterfuck". *sporfle*
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