Re: High Speed Dirt 9/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:08:09 UTC
The tank fell, a gentle contrail of smoke form the hot turret marking their passing as they dropped like a rock back towards the capitol city, the Harvester diving after them like a giant malevolent bat. Shepard looked through the front viewport, then at Garrus.
“I have an idea, Garrus rotate turret 130 degrees left!”
Garrus complied, swinging the big gun around.
“Fire!”
The recoil snapped the tank around, no longer spinning, now pointing nose down towards the growing city.
“Rotate to 90 degrees right! Fire!”
The tank rocked sideways, inching towards the rapidly approaching lake.
Back in the command bunker, Ash watched the whole spectacle unfold, squinting through a pair of binoculars at the falling vehicle.
“Are they trying to shoot down that other Harvester?” asked one of the troopers.
“No,” She said, smiling, “They’re trying to fly that tank.”
“Fire!”
The next shot blasted them out over the lake and, by some happy coincidence, blasted a smoking hole through the last Harvester’s abdomen. Shepard turned in his chair to look back on Javik, ignoring Tali’s cries to put his hands back on the wheel. The Prothean looked like he had seen better days, eyes rolling madly and his breathing shallow.
“It’s okay Javik, technically we’re not flying.” He shouted over the howling wind.
“I know! That’s because we’re falling fool!” he screamed, all four eyes bugging out in panic.
Shepard shook his head and looked back to Garrus.
“Rotate full front and open fire.” The recoil of the main gun, combined with the sporadic bursts from the malfunctioning thrusters started to slow the tank’s descent, maybe, a little. Vega braced himself and looked around the cabin. Javik was gone, crying for his mother. Tali had passed out some time previously, and Liara appeared to have shot herself with a biotic stasis, locking the Asari in place.
He gulped, looked at the water rushing up to meet them, and then closed his eyes. The impact shocked him sideways, slamming him against the restraints, and suddenly he envied Tali her dozen cargo straps. Trying to make sure he hadn’t dislocated his entire spine, Vega looked up to the front cabin.
“Would you look at that,” Said Shepard, “The thrusters are back.”
Re: High Speed Dirt 10/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:11:01 UTC
They burst forth from the water like a whale breaching the sea, launched forwards by their newly restored thrusters to the edge of the lake. Garrus turned in his seat, smiling faintly as he looked at Vega.
“Everyone still intact back there?”
Vega looked around, noting that his teammates were still breathing. Javik was mumbling under his breath, and Vega strained to hear him.
“Why did the tank do that? Tanks aren’t supposed to do that, put me back in the stasis pod I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Vega looked up to Garrus, “More or less.”
They were interrupted with an all too familiar mechanical scream. Vega looked out the front viewport to see the great shape of a Reaper Dreadnought settling down at the end of the boulevard.
Shepard swung the vehicle around, narrowly avoiding the blast from the Reaper’s cannon. They swung around, screaming down the road directly towards the distant Reaper, narrowly avoiding another blast just as ACDC’s Highway to Hell started blaring over the speakers, to which Shepard and Garrus provided an enthusiastic duet as they navigated down the broken road which, thanks to all the cannon fire, was now largely on fire.
They couldn’t breach the Reaper’s thick carapace at this range, but it appeared that the great monster had difficulty hitting them as well, the Mako squealing back and forth over the partially molten roadway, speakers blaring and cannon blazing. All of a sudden they were at the Reaper’s feet, and Shepard started to drift around the outside, sliding sideways as Garrus blasted the unwieldy behemoth with the cannon, targeting the joints on its legs. Suddenly, the great monster sagged and fell sideways, carapace hitting the ground as the Mako came around to the front.
With a thruster assisted leap they shot forward, onto the Reaper itself, driving up the front of the living ship, launching off the top like a ramp, the crazed pair in front still singing.
“And I’m going down, AAAALLLLL, the way!!!”
They stalled out and came screaming back down the front of the Dreadnought, Shepard cutting in the thrusters to send them in a precisely controlled spin. Through the front viewport Vega could see the reaper’s glowing eye for the brief second before it was blasted with a precise shot from the Mako’s Thanix Cannon, the stream of liquid metal burrowing through the Reaper’s sole weak point before causing its main reactor to lost containment and detonate, the explosion rupturing the carapace and cracking the ground beneath it, sending the Reaper and the tank that killed it falling down into a fast expanding sinkhole as subway lines and utility tunnels ruptured and caved in.
Re: High Speed Dirt 11/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:12:50 UTC
After a few moments the scene quieted and only the gently rising smoke testament to the destruction which had occurred there. Then, if you listened very closely, you could make out the sound of faint music on the wind. It grew louder and louder, and was soon joined by the whine of a motor. Out of the smoking crater, resolutely climbing up a sheer rock wall, rolled the Mako, scratched, smoking, possibly on fire, but still defiantly piping Queen’s ‘We are the Champions’ through its speakers. Inside the battered vehicle, James Vega, Alliance marine, N7 candidate, among other things, looked around the cabin. Javik was staring gently into space, too traumatized to even register the death of one of the hated Reapers. Tali was still asleep, humming something gentle and meaningless as she dreamed of her home back aboard the Flotilla, Liara was quietly thanking the Goddess for her survival. Up in the driver’s compartment Shepard and Garrus were grinning at each other.
“Garrus, I believe this constitutes a successful field test.”
“Yes, I believe it does.”
Shepard reached down and flipped open the center armrest, the mist of refrigeration floating out into the cabin. With the clinking of glass, he drew out a pair of chilled bottles and handed one of them to Garrus, who popped off the top with a claw.
“We get this new variant into mass production Shepard, and the reapers will definitely have some serious problems.”
“I just can’t wait to take her out again.” said Shepard, giving the dashboard a loving pat.
Vega slumped back into his seat, thinking back to his days in history class. He remembered that in the First World War, when the German soldiers first saw tanks they had taken to calling them ‘Hell’s Coaches’.
It appears that my shout-out powers are so great that I am making shout outs without even knowing what I'm shouting too, care to fill me in on this one?
Good Omens is a book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, it's about Armageddon sort of, and involves Crowley, a demon, riding or really flying a burning vintage Bentley while the cassette player plays Queen.
Heard about that book, but didn't make the connection. Now that you say it however it does make sense. You filled me in, so I guess I can fill you in. One shout out is the Mako's paint job, black with red highlights.
While this was indeed to my own Shepard's armor colors, it is also the same paint job as the van from the A-Team, the recent movie version from which I borrowed the now infamous 'flying tank' scene, with Javik parroting BA's line "I know, that's 'cause we're falling fool!"
But believe me, there are more shout outs than that to be found...
That was absolutely brilliant, AA. This world needs more humorous, witty fills like this!! I really needed that and while I've actually never played male Shepard, I enjoyed how you wrote him - Space Bros FTW! Garrus is precious in here and OMG - you have music! Great music! And hilarious Javik (serves him right, muahahaha!) I would've only liked this fill better if it served cookies and ice-cream through the read; I'm really, positively and 110% delighted with what you wrote! Thank you a million, A!A.
Thank you so much for your comment, I'm glad you like the story.
I was actually wondering when you were going to check in, although the story was only posted a few days ago. I am frankly shocked at the amount of positive feedback I've gotten from this story and thank you for posting such a cool prompt.
Re: AA reporting in again
anonymous
May 19 2012, 07:58:01 UTC
That was an INCREDIBLE read. Holy shit, I lost my shit so many times laughing and snorting and giggling over this. I would love to read anything else you have!
Re: AA reporting in again
anonymous
May 25 2012, 22:38:25 UTC
AMAZING. Space bros FTW!
A couple changes in my personal head "canon":
- Tali wasn't passed out and dreaming by the end. She was just humming, rocking herself back and forth, and concentrating on staying in her Happy Place, which was something she found on the first Normandy. In Tali's Happy Place there are clear skies, sunshine, lots of things to fix, and no insane human commanders whose driving would be classified as a war crime on most planets.
- This:
Ashley slowly moved her hand to her mouth. "Oh my God."
A second later she whirled and stabbed a finger at the closest comm tech. "Hendricks! Tell everyone in that sector to find the deepest hole they can and stay in it! Barriers up, and for God's sake, if anyone's watching make sure they have full spectrum shielding. Evacuate any defensive positions not rated for at least a Class C seismic event!" The Marine gaped at her, and Ashley's eyes narrowed. "Now! Before it's too late!"
"Ma'am, what is it?" The tech turned to his radios, eyes wide, and another Marine asked what they were all no doubt thinking. "Some kind of new Reaper weapon?"
"Worse." Ashley kept her eyes on the sky, drawing on a heavy protective helmet with a thick photoreflective visor.
What is this captcha you speak of. This was my first fill, so I might as well ask someone, I've seen it before, but I don't understand the significance.
Captcha is the little thing you have to fill out before replying anon (it stands for "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart").
Sometimes the words are nonsense, sometimes they're reeeally hard to read even for an authentic human, and sometimes the word choice perfectly goes along with the comment! :D
“I have an idea, Garrus rotate turret 130 degrees left!”
Garrus complied, swinging the big gun around.
“Fire!”
The recoil snapped the tank around, no longer spinning, now pointing nose down towards the growing city.
“Rotate to 90 degrees right! Fire!”
The tank rocked sideways, inching towards the rapidly approaching lake.
Back in the command bunker, Ash watched the whole spectacle unfold, squinting through a pair of binoculars at the falling vehicle.
“Are they trying to shoot down that other Harvester?” asked one of the troopers.
“No,” She said, smiling, “They’re trying to fly that tank.”
“Fire!”
The next shot blasted them out over the lake and, by some happy coincidence, blasted a smoking hole through the last Harvester’s abdomen. Shepard turned in his chair to look back on Javik, ignoring Tali’s cries to put his hands back on the wheel. The Prothean looked like he had seen better days, eyes rolling madly and his breathing shallow.
“It’s okay Javik, technically we’re not flying.” He shouted over the howling wind.
“I know! That’s because we’re falling fool!” he screamed, all four eyes bugging out in panic.
Shepard shook his head and looked back to Garrus.
“Rotate full front and open fire.” The recoil of the main gun, combined with the sporadic bursts from the malfunctioning thrusters started to slow the tank’s descent, maybe, a little. Vega braced himself and looked around the cabin. Javik was gone, crying for his mother. Tali had passed out some time previously, and Liara appeared to have shot herself with a biotic stasis, locking the Asari in place.
He gulped, looked at the water rushing up to meet them, and then closed his eyes. The impact shocked him sideways, slamming him against the restraints, and suddenly he envied Tali her dozen cargo straps. Trying to make sure he hadn’t dislocated his entire spine, Vega looked up to the front cabin.
“Would you look at that,” Said Shepard, “The thrusters are back.”
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“Everyone still intact back there?”
Vega looked around, noting that his teammates were still breathing. Javik was mumbling under his breath, and Vega strained to hear him.
“Why did the tank do that? Tanks aren’t supposed to do that, put me back in the stasis pod I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Vega looked up to Garrus, “More or less.”
They were interrupted with an all too familiar mechanical scream. Vega looked out the front viewport to see the great shape of a Reaper Dreadnought settling down at the end of the boulevard.
Shepard swung the vehicle around, narrowly avoiding the blast from the Reaper’s cannon. They swung around, screaming down the road directly towards the distant Reaper, narrowly avoiding another blast just as ACDC’s Highway to Hell started blaring over the speakers, to which Shepard and Garrus provided an enthusiastic duet as they navigated down the broken road which, thanks to all the cannon fire, was now largely on fire.
They couldn’t breach the Reaper’s thick carapace at this range, but it appeared that the great monster had difficulty hitting them as well, the Mako squealing back and forth over the partially molten roadway, speakers blaring and cannon blazing. All of a sudden they were at the Reaper’s feet, and Shepard started to drift around the outside, sliding sideways as Garrus blasted the unwieldy behemoth with the cannon, targeting the joints on its legs. Suddenly, the great monster sagged and fell sideways, carapace hitting the ground as the Mako came around to the front.
With a thruster assisted leap they shot forward, onto the Reaper itself, driving up the front of the living ship, launching off the top like a ramp, the crazed pair in front still singing.
“And I’m going down, AAAALLLLL, the way!!!”
They stalled out and came screaming back down the front of the Dreadnought, Shepard cutting in the thrusters to send them in a precisely controlled spin. Through the front viewport Vega could see the reaper’s glowing eye for the brief second before it was blasted with a precise shot from the Mako’s Thanix Cannon, the stream of liquid metal burrowing through the Reaper’s sole weak point before causing its main reactor to lost containment and detonate, the explosion rupturing the carapace and cracking the ground beneath it, sending the Reaper and the tank that killed it falling down into a fast expanding sinkhole as subway lines and utility tunnels ruptured and caved in.
Reply
Up in the driver’s compartment Shepard and Garrus were grinning at each other.
“Garrus, I believe this constitutes a successful field test.”
“Yes, I believe it does.”
Shepard reached down and flipped open the center armrest, the mist of refrigeration floating out into the cabin. With the clinking of glass, he drew out a pair of chilled bottles and handed one of them to Garrus, who popped off the top with a claw.
“We get this new variant into mass production Shepard, and the reapers will definitely have some serious problems.”
“I just can’t wait to take her out again.” said Shepard, giving the dashboard a loving pat.
Vega slumped back into his seat, thinking back to his days in history class. He remembered that in the First World War, when the German soldiers first saw tanks they had taken to calling them ‘Hell’s Coaches’.
Suddenly, he knew exactly how they felt.
Reply
Now let's all play a rousing game of spot the shout outs!
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While this was indeed to my own Shepard's armor colors, it is also the same paint job as the van from the A-Team, the recent movie version from which I borrowed the now infamous 'flying tank' scene, with Javik parroting BA's line "I know, that's 'cause we're falling fool!"
But believe me, there are more shout outs than that to be found...
Reply
I really needed that and while I've actually never played male Shepard, I enjoyed how you wrote him - Space Bros FTW! Garrus is precious in here and OMG - you have music! Great music! And hilarious Javik (serves him right, muahahaha!)
I would've only liked this fill better if it served cookies and ice-cream through the read; I'm really, positively and 110% delighted with what you wrote!
Thank you a million, A!A.
Reply
I was actually wondering when you were going to check in, although the story was only posted a few days ago. I am frankly shocked at the amount of positive feedback I've gotten from this story and thank you for posting such a cool prompt.
Maybe I'll see you again on the meme.
AA signing off.
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A couple changes in my personal head "canon":
- Tali wasn't passed out and dreaming by the end. She was just humming, rocking herself back and forth, and concentrating on staying in her Happy Place, which was something she found on the first Normandy. In Tali's Happy Place there are clear skies, sunshine, lots of things to fix, and no insane human commanders whose driving would be classified as a war crime on most planets.
- This:
Ashley slowly moved her hand to her mouth. "Oh my God."
A second later she whirled and stabbed a finger at the closest comm tech. "Hendricks! Tell everyone in that sector to find the deepest hole they can and stay in it! Barriers up, and for God's sake, if anyone's watching make sure they have full spectrum shielding. Evacuate any defensive positions not rated for at least a Class C seismic event!" The Marine gaped at her, and Ashley's eyes narrowed. "Now! Before it's too late!"
"Ma'am, what is it?" The tech turned to his radios, eyes wide, and another Marine asked what they were all no doubt thinking. "Some kind of new Reaper weapon?"
"Worse." Ashley kept her eyes on the sky, drawing on a heavy protective helmet with a thick photoreflective visor.
"Shepherd's driving."
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ps: captcha 'forward science' ;D
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Care to clue this AA in?
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Sometimes the words are nonsense, sometimes they're reeeally hard to read even for an authentic human, and sometimes the word choice perfectly goes along with the comment! :D
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