Re: High Speed Dirt 4/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 17:57:06 UTC
It was two days after the conversation around the giant gun that Vega found himself called to the briefing room along with the rest of the ground team, save EDI. He entered the glass walled room to find a concerned looking commander standing at the end of the table.
“Good, we’re all here. A few minutes ago I received word of a new Reaper attack, a colony world in the Skylian Verge. It’s a relatively small attack, just a few destroyers so normally I’d send in the fleet to crush it fast, but this is different.” The commander shied heavily, “Ash is on that planet, and if she doesn’t get help soon her and the forces there are going to be overrun. People, we are not going to let that happen.”
And they weren’t, Shepard was speaking in that ‘damn the torpedoes’ voice, the one that stated in no uncertain terms that anything standing in their way was going to be flattened. Vega understood the feeling. Someone was messing with Shepard’s people, and nothing ever survived doing that. The commander shot a questioning look at Garrus, who smiled.
“It’s ready.”
Suddenly, Vega thought he could hear a pin drop in the conference room.
“Excellent, we’ll take the Mako then, we should be there soon so get ready and meet up in the shuttle bay in ten.”
Vega couldn’t help but notice the look of stunned shock on Liara’s face, or the way that Tali had started nervously twitching.
A few minutes later they were fully geared up and started to pile into the Mako.
“A Pitiful, primitive form of conveyance.” Sneered the last Prothean, “In my cycle, an engineer would have been burned alive for designing such a worthless piece of hardware.” Vega accidently-on-purpose elbowed Javik on his way to the weapon table, snapping his Argus and Claymore into their respective places on his armor. He turned to see Tali walking to the tank, her arms overburdened with what looked like a dozen cargo straps. Vega hadn’t remembered them loading any equipment that needed to be tied down, but then Tali was a Quarian, and therefore a master of fitting exotic equipment into unusual places.
Vega climbed into the passenger compartment and strapped in. Tali was sitting across from him, with Liara beside her, leaving James to sit next to the unruly Prothean, who was currently commenting on the inferior quality of the read door. Javik rested a hand on the grip over his head, and suddenly got very quiet.
“What is it?”
“I sense the feelings of this vehicle’s old occupants, I sense, abject terror.” The Prothean shuddered and kept his hands to himself. Vega was distracted by a ratcheting sound, and looked around to see Tali using her cargo straps to secure her limbs to the acceleration chair. In addition to the actual seat belts, she had wrapped three straps around her torso, and two for each leg, she was now happily strapping down one of her arms.
Re: High Speed Dirt 5/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 17:59:24 UTC
Tali looked up, nodding vigorously. “Okay? Of course I’m okay, I’m perfectly okay, why would I not be okay, Liara help me strap my other arm down!”
The Asari maiden, who looked a little nervous herself, nodded and finished strapping the engineer to her chair.
Vega looked up to the cockpit, where Shepard and Garrus sat side by side, the commander behind the steering wheel, and Garrus behind the turret controls.
“Now I see what Joker was talking about.” Said the commander, “These leather seats really are better.”
“I thought they were a nice addition. Also, the main gun now fires streams of superheated liquid metal.”
The commander nodded, obviously impressed. “Like a mini Thanix Cannon?”
“Or a big Javelin, Cortez and I also fine-tuned the mass effect field generator and added additional thrusters, we should be faster and have even better mid-air maneuverability.”
Vega frowned and leaned over to Liara, “It’s a tank, why would it need mid-air maneuverability?”
“You’ll see.” said Liara, double checking her restraint harness.
“Also, I upgraded the sound system, and reloaded all our old songs.”
“Nice.” Said Shepard, running his hand across the dash, before patting the center armrest.
“And did you?”
“Of course.” Said Garrus in a mock offended voice, “How could I forget the most important part?”
Joker’s voice came over the com, “All right people, we are approaching the drop zone, prepare for operation ‘tanks from the sky’.”
“Thank you joker,” Shepard said as he powered up the tank. The synthetic voice of the tank’s VI spoke up, “Reactor online, weapons online, sensors online, all systems nominal.”
“Yeah, just like old times,” replied the pilot as the door opened, revealing the great vista of the planet far below. “Listen, I can’t take the Normandy in close with that Reaper prowling around, so I’m going to have to drop you from low orbit, you’ll be dropping right into the capitol city so watch for the buildings, I don’t want to explain that again.”
“She can take it.” Said Garrus smoothly.
A green light blinked on the dashboard and Shepard gunned the throttle, sending the Mako shooting out into the planet’s upper atmosphere. The two operators ran through a quick systems check.
“Heat sinks good, thrusters good, we should be fine.”
“Garrus, shouldn’t you have checked those before we started falling?”
Re: High Speed Dirt 6/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:01:58 UTC
After checking the altitude, Shepard reached over and pushed a control on the dashboard. Suddenly, music started playing throughout the cabin, the strains of some 21’st century guitar coming across on a high quality sound system.
“Oh Goddess,” breathed Liara, “He’s going to sing, that’s a bad sign.”
Hopefully he sings better than he dances, was all Vega could think.
Powerful drums started beating and Shepard began to sing along with the lyrics.
Do it if you dare Leaping from the sky Hurling thru the air Exhilarating high
The commander threw his head back and closed his eyes, drawing out the last syllable, Garrus tapping his talons along to the beat. Vega looked out through the front monitor, the ground was coming up awfully fast. If Shepard noticed, he gave no sign, just kept singing.
See the earth below Soon to make a crater Blue sky, black death I'm off to MEET MY MAKER!!!
Shepard cut in the thrusters at the last possible moment, slowing the craft with a violent jerk and making a mess of an unfortunate Cannibal directly below their landing zone. Shepard immediately threw the vehicle forward, firing rear thrusters to gain speed as Garrus used the machine gun to mow down some startled husks. They gunned it through the streets, blasting the occasional target with machineguns and cannon fire, Shepard violating every speed limit and traffic regulation ever written as the swerved around corners and jumped over curbs. They turned the corner onto a large boulevard, and Vega could make out an unnaturally tall figure turning towards them.
“Banshee, right side.” Noted Garrus. Shepard turned straight for the screaming creature, gunning the throttle.
“Garrus we’ve been over this.” He said calmly as they crashed headlong into the creature, the front blade neatly bisecting the abomination, the top half flopping across the roof before crashing to the pavement in a tangle of limbs and gore, “We don’t have time to pick up Asari, we’re on the clock here.”
Re: High Speed Dirt 7/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:04:09 UTC
Several miles away, in what was left of her command bunker, Ashley Williams was trying to make sense of the reports she was getting, apparently they had received reinforcements, but of what kind she was unsure. She looked through the last report, a forward scout saying that he had seen a tank dropping out of the sky into the middle or Reaper forces. A tank with a red and black paint job.
Ashley slowly moved her hand to her mouth. “Oh my god.”
Back inside the tank in question, the sentiment was returned.
“OH MY GOD!”
Vega’s outburst was totally understandable, after all they had just turned the corner to run right into a Brute. The creature lunged forward, great metal claw sweeping low. Shepard fired the front end thrusters, lifting the nose off the ground to smash into the creature, driving up over the top. The Brute somehow survived the impact, pushing up against the attacker, sending the tank sailing through the air in a corkscrew. While they were upside down Garrus rotated the cannon a full 180 and fired into the Brute’s back, the liquid metal blasting clean through the creature and reducing it to an unpleasant stain on the road.
Shepard hit the thrusters again, righting the vehicle and bringing it down on its wheels, lighting the afterburners and screaming off down the road leaving a trail of scorched pavement and Reaper blood in his wake.
“Whoopsie,” Garrus deadpanned.
“Tanks should not fly!” shouted Javik from his restraints.
“That was just a bit of a tumble,” Said Shepard, taking his hands off the wheel to illustrate.
They skidded around another corner, this one opening up into a large open square, a square absolutely flooded with Reaper forces. The tank slid to a halt, the noise of the engine drawing the attention of the monstrosities before them.
“Garrus,” said the commander, “Remind me, what is the first rule of the Commander Shepard Driving Academy?”
Human and Turian began chanting in unison. “Treat all obstacles as if they are a challenge to your honor!”
Shepard slammed the vehicle forwards, while Garrus laid on the fire with the cannon, great red blasts tearing rents in the enemy formation while bladed nose of the Mako chopped and smashed the surviors to so much dark paste. Shepard started drifting around the outside, the tank sliding sideways across the pavement in a lazy circle, engaging the thrusters to hover over a gap in the roadway as Garrus eviscerated the Reapers before him.
Re: High Speed Dirt 8/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:05:57 UTC
Suddenly the proximity alarm pinged, Garrus twisting around the turret.
“Three Harvesters coming in!” even as he spoke he fired, blasting the first one out of the sky, but its fellows were on them before the great cannon could recharge. Finding they could not tear through the tank’s armor, the grabbed on and flapped their great wings, lifting the light vehicle off the ground.
“Garrus, they’re scratching the paint.”
“I can’t get an angle.”
The view from the gun sight was a chaotic thrashing mass of wings and claws. They were along way up now, easily able to see the city below them, decorative lake shimmering like glass so far below. Vega looked back at Javik, who seemed to be having some kind of panic attack.
“Tanks should not fly, tanks should not fly, tanks should not fly.”
But they were still climbing.
“This should shake things up.” Said Garrus, squeezing the trigger. While it was not a direct hit, nothing can ignore a blast of superheated liquid metal shooting past it. One of the Harvesters shrieked and pulled away, one of its wings looking somewhat singed.
“Get this other one off of us!”
Garrus rotated the turret sharply, the great blade on the side cleaving through one of the creature’s legs. Even through the armor and the howling wind Vega could hear the creature scream, looking down at its ruined limb. Unfortunately for it that brought its head down into Garrus’ line of fire, a blast from the cannon decapitating the beast and freeing the tank.
Shepard cut in the thrusters, righting the tumbling craft and starting a nice gradual decent.
“We’re fine,” he said, looking at the readouts. “the thrusters should take us in nice and easy.”
Suddenly the Mako was sent tumbling again as the other Harvester crashed into them from behind. Warning lights flashed in the cockpit as they began to plummet again.
Re: High Speed Dirt 9/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:08:09 UTC
The tank fell, a gentle contrail of smoke form the hot turret marking their passing as they dropped like a rock back towards the capitol city, the Harvester diving after them like a giant malevolent bat. Shepard looked through the front viewport, then at Garrus.
“I have an idea, Garrus rotate turret 130 degrees left!”
Garrus complied, swinging the big gun around.
“Fire!”
The recoil snapped the tank around, no longer spinning, now pointing nose down towards the growing city.
“Rotate to 90 degrees right! Fire!”
The tank rocked sideways, inching towards the rapidly approaching lake.
Back in the command bunker, Ash watched the whole spectacle unfold, squinting through a pair of binoculars at the falling vehicle.
“Are they trying to shoot down that other Harvester?” asked one of the troopers.
“No,” She said, smiling, “They’re trying to fly that tank.”
“Fire!”
The next shot blasted them out over the lake and, by some happy coincidence, blasted a smoking hole through the last Harvester’s abdomen. Shepard turned in his chair to look back on Javik, ignoring Tali’s cries to put his hands back on the wheel. The Prothean looked like he had seen better days, eyes rolling madly and his breathing shallow.
“It’s okay Javik, technically we’re not flying.” He shouted over the howling wind.
“I know! That’s because we’re falling fool!” he screamed, all four eyes bugging out in panic.
Shepard shook his head and looked back to Garrus.
“Rotate full front and open fire.” The recoil of the main gun, combined with the sporadic bursts from the malfunctioning thrusters started to slow the tank’s descent, maybe, a little. Vega braced himself and looked around the cabin. Javik was gone, crying for his mother. Tali had passed out some time previously, and Liara appeared to have shot herself with a biotic stasis, locking the Asari in place.
He gulped, looked at the water rushing up to meet them, and then closed his eyes. The impact shocked him sideways, slamming him against the restraints, and suddenly he envied Tali her dozen cargo straps. Trying to make sure he hadn’t dislocated his entire spine, Vega looked up to the front cabin.
“Would you look at that,” Said Shepard, “The thrusters are back.”
Re: High Speed Dirt 10/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:11:01 UTC
They burst forth from the water like a whale breaching the sea, launched forwards by their newly restored thrusters to the edge of the lake. Garrus turned in his seat, smiling faintly as he looked at Vega.
“Everyone still intact back there?”
Vega looked around, noting that his teammates were still breathing. Javik was mumbling under his breath, and Vega strained to hear him.
“Why did the tank do that? Tanks aren’t supposed to do that, put me back in the stasis pod I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Vega looked up to Garrus, “More or less.”
They were interrupted with an all too familiar mechanical scream. Vega looked out the front viewport to see the great shape of a Reaper Dreadnought settling down at the end of the boulevard.
Shepard swung the vehicle around, narrowly avoiding the blast from the Reaper’s cannon. They swung around, screaming down the road directly towards the distant Reaper, narrowly avoiding another blast just as ACDC’s Highway to Hell started blaring over the speakers, to which Shepard and Garrus provided an enthusiastic duet as they navigated down the broken road which, thanks to all the cannon fire, was now largely on fire.
They couldn’t breach the Reaper’s thick carapace at this range, but it appeared that the great monster had difficulty hitting them as well, the Mako squealing back and forth over the partially molten roadway, speakers blaring and cannon blazing. All of a sudden they were at the Reaper’s feet, and Shepard started to drift around the outside, sliding sideways as Garrus blasted the unwieldy behemoth with the cannon, targeting the joints on its legs. Suddenly, the great monster sagged and fell sideways, carapace hitting the ground as the Mako came around to the front.
With a thruster assisted leap they shot forward, onto the Reaper itself, driving up the front of the living ship, launching off the top like a ramp, the crazed pair in front still singing.
“And I’m going down, AAAALLLLL, the way!!!”
They stalled out and came screaming back down the front of the Dreadnought, Shepard cutting in the thrusters to send them in a precisely controlled spin. Through the front viewport Vega could see the reaper’s glowing eye for the brief second before it was blasted with a precise shot from the Mako’s Thanix Cannon, the stream of liquid metal burrowing through the Reaper’s sole weak point before causing its main reactor to lost containment and detonate, the explosion rupturing the carapace and cracking the ground beneath it, sending the Reaper and the tank that killed it falling down into a fast expanding sinkhole as subway lines and utility tunnels ruptured and caved in.
Re: High Speed Dirt 11/11
anonymous
May 16 2012, 18:12:50 UTC
After a few moments the scene quieted and only the gently rising smoke testament to the destruction which had occurred there. Then, if you listened very closely, you could make out the sound of faint music on the wind. It grew louder and louder, and was soon joined by the whine of a motor. Out of the smoking crater, resolutely climbing up a sheer rock wall, rolled the Mako, scratched, smoking, possibly on fire, but still defiantly piping Queen’s ‘We are the Champions’ through its speakers. Inside the battered vehicle, James Vega, Alliance marine, N7 candidate, among other things, looked around the cabin. Javik was staring gently into space, too traumatized to even register the death of one of the hated Reapers. Tali was still asleep, humming something gentle and meaningless as she dreamed of her home back aboard the Flotilla, Liara was quietly thanking the Goddess for her survival. Up in the driver’s compartment Shepard and Garrus were grinning at each other.
“Garrus, I believe this constitutes a successful field test.”
“Yes, I believe it does.”
Shepard reached down and flipped open the center armrest, the mist of refrigeration floating out into the cabin. With the clinking of glass, he drew out a pair of chilled bottles and handed one of them to Garrus, who popped off the top with a claw.
“We get this new variant into mass production Shepard, and the reapers will definitely have some serious problems.”
“I just can’t wait to take her out again.” said Shepard, giving the dashboard a loving pat.
Vega slumped back into his seat, thinking back to his days in history class. He remembered that in the First World War, when the German soldiers first saw tanks they had taken to calling them ‘Hell’s Coaches’.
It appears that my shout-out powers are so great that I am making shout outs without even knowing what I'm shouting too, care to fill me in on this one?
Good Omens is a book by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman, it's about Armageddon sort of, and involves Crowley, a demon, riding or really flying a burning vintage Bentley while the cassette player plays Queen.
Heard about that book, but didn't make the connection. Now that you say it however it does make sense. You filled me in, so I guess I can fill you in. One shout out is the Mako's paint job, black with red highlights.
While this was indeed to my own Shepard's armor colors, it is also the same paint job as the van from the A-Team, the recent movie version from which I borrowed the now infamous 'flying tank' scene, with Javik parroting BA's line "I know, that's 'cause we're falling fool!"
But believe me, there are more shout outs than that to be found...
That was absolutely brilliant, AA. This world needs more humorous, witty fills like this!! I really needed that and while I've actually never played male Shepard, I enjoyed how you wrote him - Space Bros FTW! Garrus is precious in here and OMG - you have music! Great music! And hilarious Javik (serves him right, muahahaha!) I would've only liked this fill better if it served cookies and ice-cream through the read; I'm really, positively and 110% delighted with what you wrote! Thank you a million, A!A.
Thank you so much for your comment, I'm glad you like the story.
I was actually wondering when you were going to check in, although the story was only posted a few days ago. I am frankly shocked at the amount of positive feedback I've gotten from this story and thank you for posting such a cool prompt.
Re: AA reporting in again
anonymous
May 19 2012, 07:58:01 UTC
That was an INCREDIBLE read. Holy shit, I lost my shit so many times laughing and snorting and giggling over this. I would love to read anything else you have!
“Good, we’re all here. A few minutes ago I received word of a new Reaper attack, a colony world in the Skylian Verge. It’s a relatively small attack, just a few destroyers so normally I’d send in the fleet to crush it fast, but this is different.” The commander shied heavily, “Ash is on that planet, and if she doesn’t get help soon her and the forces there are going to be overrun. People, we are not going to let that happen.”
And they weren’t, Shepard was speaking in that ‘damn the torpedoes’ voice, the one that stated in no uncertain terms that anything standing in their way was going to be flattened. Vega understood the feeling. Someone was messing with Shepard’s people, and nothing ever survived doing that. The commander shot a questioning look at Garrus, who smiled.
“It’s ready.”
Suddenly, Vega thought he could hear a pin drop in the conference room.
“Excellent, we’ll take the Mako then, we should be there soon so get ready and meet up in the shuttle bay in ten.”
Vega couldn’t help but notice the look of stunned shock on Liara’s face, or the way that Tali had started nervously twitching.
A few minutes later they were fully geared up and started to pile into the Mako.
“A Pitiful, primitive form of conveyance.” Sneered the last Prothean, “In my cycle, an engineer would have been burned alive for designing such a worthless piece of hardware.” Vega accidently-on-purpose elbowed Javik on his way to the weapon table, snapping his Argus and Claymore into their respective places on his armor. He turned to see Tali walking to the tank, her arms overburdened with what looked like a dozen cargo straps. Vega hadn’t remembered them loading any equipment that needed to be tied down, but then Tali was a Quarian, and therefore a master of fitting exotic equipment into unusual places.
Vega climbed into the passenger compartment and strapped in. Tali was sitting across from him, with Liara beside her, leaving James to sit next to the unruly Prothean, who was currently commenting on the inferior quality of the read door. Javik rested a hand on the grip over his head, and suddenly got very quiet.
“What is it?”
“I sense the feelings of this vehicle’s old occupants, I sense, abject terror.” The Prothean shuddered and kept his hands to himself. Vega was distracted by a ratcheting sound, and looked around to see Tali using her cargo straps to secure her limbs to the acceleration chair. In addition to the actual seat belts, she had wrapped three straps around her torso, and two for each leg, she was now happily strapping down one of her arms.
“Uh, sparks, are you okay?”
Reply
The Asari maiden, who looked a little nervous herself, nodded and finished strapping the engineer to her chair.
Vega looked up to the cockpit, where Shepard and Garrus sat side by side, the commander behind the steering wheel, and Garrus behind the turret controls.
“Now I see what Joker was talking about.” Said the commander, “These leather seats really are better.”
“I thought they were a nice addition. Also, the main gun now fires streams of superheated liquid metal.”
The commander nodded, obviously impressed. “Like a mini Thanix Cannon?”
“Or a big Javelin, Cortez and I also fine-tuned the mass effect field generator and added additional thrusters, we should be faster and have even better mid-air maneuverability.”
Vega frowned and leaned over to Liara, “It’s a tank, why would it need mid-air maneuverability?”
“You’ll see.” said Liara, double checking her restraint harness.
“Also, I upgraded the sound system, and reloaded all our old songs.”
“Nice.” Said Shepard, running his hand across the dash, before patting the center armrest.
“And did you?”
“Of course.” Said Garrus in a mock offended voice, “How could I forget the most important part?”
Joker’s voice came over the com, “All right people, we are approaching the drop zone, prepare for operation ‘tanks from the sky’.”
“Thank you joker,” Shepard said as he powered up the tank.
The synthetic voice of the tank’s VI spoke up, “Reactor online, weapons online, sensors online, all systems nominal.”
“Yeah, just like old times,” replied the pilot as the door opened, revealing the great vista of the planet far below.
“Listen, I can’t take the Normandy in close with that Reaper prowling around, so I’m going to have to drop you from low orbit, you’ll be dropping right into the capitol city so watch for the buildings, I don’t want to explain that again.”
“She can take it.” Said Garrus smoothly.
A green light blinked on the dashboard and Shepard gunned the throttle, sending the Mako shooting out into the planet’s upper atmosphere. The two operators ran through a quick systems check.
“Heat sinks good, thrusters good, we should be fine.”
“Garrus, shouldn’t you have checked those before we started falling?”
“Should I have?”
Reply
“Oh Goddess,” breathed Liara, “He’s going to sing, that’s a bad sign.”
Hopefully he sings better than he dances, was all Vega could think.
Powerful drums started beating and Shepard began to sing along with the lyrics.
Do it if you dare
Leaping from the sky
Hurling thru the air
Exhilarating high
The commander threw his head back and closed his eyes, drawing out the last syllable, Garrus tapping his talons along to the beat. Vega looked out through the front monitor, the ground was coming up awfully fast. If Shepard noticed, he gave no sign, just kept singing.
See the earth below
Soon to make a crater
Blue sky, black death
I'm off to MEET MY MAKER!!!
Shepard cut in the thrusters at the last possible moment, slowing the craft with a violent jerk and making a mess of an unfortunate Cannibal directly below their landing zone. Shepard immediately threw the vehicle forward, firing rear thrusters to gain speed as Garrus used the machine gun to mow down some startled husks.
They gunned it through the streets, blasting the occasional target with machineguns and cannon fire, Shepard violating every speed limit and traffic regulation ever written as the swerved around corners and jumped over curbs. They turned the corner onto a large boulevard, and Vega could make out an unnaturally tall figure turning towards them.
“Banshee, right side.” Noted Garrus.
Shepard turned straight for the screaming creature, gunning the throttle.
“Garrus we’ve been over this.” He said calmly as they crashed headlong into the creature, the front blade neatly bisecting the abomination, the top half flopping across the roof before crashing to the pavement in a tangle of limbs and gore, “We don’t have time to pick up Asari, we’re on the clock here.”
“My mistake.”
Reply
Ashley slowly moved her hand to her mouth. “Oh my god.”
Back inside the tank in question, the sentiment was returned.
“OH MY GOD!”
Vega’s outburst was totally understandable, after all they had just turned the corner to run right into a Brute. The creature lunged forward, great metal claw sweeping low. Shepard fired the front end thrusters, lifting the nose off the ground to smash into the creature, driving up over the top. The Brute somehow survived the impact, pushing up against the attacker, sending the tank sailing through the air in a corkscrew. While they were upside down Garrus rotated the cannon a full 180 and fired into the Brute’s back, the liquid metal blasting clean through the creature and reducing it to an unpleasant stain on the road.
Shepard hit the thrusters again, righting the vehicle and bringing it down on its wheels, lighting the afterburners and screaming off down the road leaving a trail of scorched pavement and Reaper blood in his wake.
“Whoopsie,” Garrus deadpanned.
“Tanks should not fly!” shouted Javik from his restraints.
“That was just a bit of a tumble,” Said Shepard, taking his hands off the wheel to illustrate.
They skidded around another corner, this one opening up into a large open square, a square absolutely flooded with Reaper forces. The tank slid to a halt, the noise of the engine drawing the attention of the monstrosities before them.
“Garrus,” said the commander, “Remind me, what is the first rule of the Commander Shepard Driving Academy?”
Human and Turian began chanting in unison. “Treat all obstacles as if they are a challenge to your honor!”
Shepard slammed the vehicle forwards, while Garrus laid on the fire with the cannon, great red blasts tearing rents in the enemy formation while bladed nose of the Mako chopped and smashed the surviors to so much dark paste. Shepard started drifting around the outside, the tank sliding sideways across the pavement in a lazy circle, engaging the thrusters to hover over a gap in the roadway as Garrus eviscerated the Reapers before him.
Reply
“Three Harvesters coming in!” even as he spoke he fired, blasting the first one out of the sky, but its fellows were on them before the great cannon could recharge. Finding they could not tear through the tank’s armor, the grabbed on and flapped their great wings, lifting the light vehicle off the ground.
“Garrus, they’re scratching the paint.”
“I can’t get an angle.”
The view from the gun sight was a chaotic thrashing mass of wings and claws. They were along way up now, easily able to see the city below them, decorative lake shimmering like glass so far below. Vega looked back at Javik, who seemed to be having some kind of panic attack.
“Tanks should not fly, tanks should not fly, tanks should not fly.”
But they were still climbing.
“This should shake things up.” Said Garrus, squeezing the trigger.
While it was not a direct hit, nothing can ignore a blast of superheated liquid metal shooting past it. One of the Harvesters shrieked and pulled away, one of its wings looking somewhat singed.
“Get this other one off of us!”
Garrus rotated the turret sharply, the great blade on the side cleaving through one of the creature’s legs. Even through the armor and the howling wind Vega could hear the creature scream, looking down at its ruined limb. Unfortunately for it that brought its head down into Garrus’ line of fire, a blast from the cannon decapitating the beast and freeing the tank.
Shepard cut in the thrusters, righting the tumbling craft and starting a nice gradual decent.
“We’re fine,” he said, looking at the readouts. “the thrusters should take us in nice and easy.”
Suddenly the Mako was sent tumbling again as the other Harvester crashed into them from behind. Warning lights flashed in the cockpit as they began to plummet again.
“Yeah,” said Shepard, “Thrusters are dead.”
Reply
“I have an idea, Garrus rotate turret 130 degrees left!”
Garrus complied, swinging the big gun around.
“Fire!”
The recoil snapped the tank around, no longer spinning, now pointing nose down towards the growing city.
“Rotate to 90 degrees right! Fire!”
The tank rocked sideways, inching towards the rapidly approaching lake.
Back in the command bunker, Ash watched the whole spectacle unfold, squinting through a pair of binoculars at the falling vehicle.
“Are they trying to shoot down that other Harvester?” asked one of the troopers.
“No,” She said, smiling, “They’re trying to fly that tank.”
“Fire!”
The next shot blasted them out over the lake and, by some happy coincidence, blasted a smoking hole through the last Harvester’s abdomen. Shepard turned in his chair to look back on Javik, ignoring Tali’s cries to put his hands back on the wheel. The Prothean looked like he had seen better days, eyes rolling madly and his breathing shallow.
“It’s okay Javik, technically we’re not flying.” He shouted over the howling wind.
“I know! That’s because we’re falling fool!” he screamed, all four eyes bugging out in panic.
Shepard shook his head and looked back to Garrus.
“Rotate full front and open fire.” The recoil of the main gun, combined with the sporadic bursts from the malfunctioning thrusters started to slow the tank’s descent, maybe, a little. Vega braced himself and looked around the cabin. Javik was gone, crying for his mother. Tali had passed out some time previously, and Liara appeared to have shot herself with a biotic stasis, locking the Asari in place.
He gulped, looked at the water rushing up to meet them, and then closed his eyes. The impact shocked him sideways, slamming him against the restraints, and suddenly he envied Tali her dozen cargo straps. Trying to make sure he hadn’t dislocated his entire spine, Vega looked up to the front cabin.
“Would you look at that,” Said Shepard, “The thrusters are back.”
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“Everyone still intact back there?”
Vega looked around, noting that his teammates were still breathing. Javik was mumbling under his breath, and Vega strained to hear him.
“Why did the tank do that? Tanks aren’t supposed to do that, put me back in the stasis pod I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Vega looked up to Garrus, “More or less.”
They were interrupted with an all too familiar mechanical scream. Vega looked out the front viewport to see the great shape of a Reaper Dreadnought settling down at the end of the boulevard.
Shepard swung the vehicle around, narrowly avoiding the blast from the Reaper’s cannon. They swung around, screaming down the road directly towards the distant Reaper, narrowly avoiding another blast just as ACDC’s Highway to Hell started blaring over the speakers, to which Shepard and Garrus provided an enthusiastic duet as they navigated down the broken road which, thanks to all the cannon fire, was now largely on fire.
They couldn’t breach the Reaper’s thick carapace at this range, but it appeared that the great monster had difficulty hitting them as well, the Mako squealing back and forth over the partially molten roadway, speakers blaring and cannon blazing. All of a sudden they were at the Reaper’s feet, and Shepard started to drift around the outside, sliding sideways as Garrus blasted the unwieldy behemoth with the cannon, targeting the joints on its legs. Suddenly, the great monster sagged and fell sideways, carapace hitting the ground as the Mako came around to the front.
With a thruster assisted leap they shot forward, onto the Reaper itself, driving up the front of the living ship, launching off the top like a ramp, the crazed pair in front still singing.
“And I’m going down, AAAALLLLL, the way!!!”
They stalled out and came screaming back down the front of the Dreadnought, Shepard cutting in the thrusters to send them in a precisely controlled spin. Through the front viewport Vega could see the reaper’s glowing eye for the brief second before it was blasted with a precise shot from the Mako’s Thanix Cannon, the stream of liquid metal burrowing through the Reaper’s sole weak point before causing its main reactor to lost containment and detonate, the explosion rupturing the carapace and cracking the ground beneath it, sending the Reaper and the tank that killed it falling down into a fast expanding sinkhole as subway lines and utility tunnels ruptured and caved in.
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Up in the driver’s compartment Shepard and Garrus were grinning at each other.
“Garrus, I believe this constitutes a successful field test.”
“Yes, I believe it does.”
Shepard reached down and flipped open the center armrest, the mist of refrigeration floating out into the cabin. With the clinking of glass, he drew out a pair of chilled bottles and handed one of them to Garrus, who popped off the top with a claw.
“We get this new variant into mass production Shepard, and the reapers will definitely have some serious problems.”
“I just can’t wait to take her out again.” said Shepard, giving the dashboard a loving pat.
Vega slumped back into his seat, thinking back to his days in history class. He remembered that in the First World War, when the German soldiers first saw tanks they had taken to calling them ‘Hell’s Coaches’.
Suddenly, he knew exactly how they felt.
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Now let's all play a rousing game of spot the shout outs!
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While this was indeed to my own Shepard's armor colors, it is also the same paint job as the van from the A-Team, the recent movie version from which I borrowed the now infamous 'flying tank' scene, with Javik parroting BA's line "I know, that's 'cause we're falling fool!"
But believe me, there are more shout outs than that to be found...
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I really needed that and while I've actually never played male Shepard, I enjoyed how you wrote him - Space Bros FTW! Garrus is precious in here and OMG - you have music! Great music! And hilarious Javik (serves him right, muahahaha!)
I would've only liked this fill better if it served cookies and ice-cream through the read; I'm really, positively and 110% delighted with what you wrote!
Thank you a million, A!A.
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I was actually wondering when you were going to check in, although the story was only posted a few days ago. I am frankly shocked at the amount of positive feedback I've gotten from this story and thank you for posting such a cool prompt.
Maybe I'll see you again on the meme.
AA signing off.
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