The Cleansing Fire - FShep/Kaidan - (6/8 oops can't count)
anonymous
April 1 2012, 22:54:37 UTC
“Kaidan,” she groans into his neck, her arms tightening around his back and her fingernails digging into his shoulder blades. When he doesn’t slow his pace, she pulls back and looks him in the eyes. He knows that look. “Kaidan, I need-”
Slowing down causes a shudder to roll through him, so he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before nodding. He gets it, understands that she needs to be in control at least once today. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.”
He slings an arm around her, pulling her close to his chest, before rolling over on to his back so she can straddle him. For a while she just grinds against him slowly, leaning over and pressing herself against his chest as she peppers his neck and shoulders with kisses. One of his hands runs up from the back of her thigh to settle at the small of her back, while the other moves to twist and tangle in her hair. Pulling gently, he disconnects her lips from his skin and redirects them to his mouth, and when she deepens the kiss his hips buck against her involuntarily.
“Hm, impatience,” she teases, biting softly at his lip. “What happened to maintaining control?”
“What can I say?” he interrupts, sliding his hand from the small of her back to grab at her ass. “You’re,” he’s fumbling his words like a teenager, “you’re-”
Her mouth crashes into his, and he feels her reposition. “At ease.”
With blessed urgency she reaches down, grasps him firmly, and with his name on her lips slides down over him until she’s flush against his hips. The sight of her is the stuff of legends - back arched as she leans over him with her hands flat against the floor on either side of his head; lips parted, flushed and wet from their kiss, with breath heavy and fast; breasts bouncing with every thrust as she rides him hard, grinding out her release with determination.
The skin on his back burns from friction, and he can already see red spots forming on her knees, but none of that matters as he thrusts up into her, matching her frantic pace as best he can. Her hair has fallen in front of her face and her eyes are squeezed shut in focus, and he gets it, he does, but he just wants…
He reaches up and pushes her hair out of her face, grabs her jaw and turns her face toward his. “Please, Shepard, please look at me, just for a second.”
Her eyes fly open, and he’s pretty sure he sees love there (there’s no harm in hoping, anyway).
When she comes it’s like a shock to her system, her muscles tensing and a corona sparking around her. She begs for his touch, grabbing at him so he’ll sit up and press himself against her, tangling his hands in her hair. So he’ll wrap an arm around her waist and hold her close as she rides out the waves of pleasure, kissing her sloppily as the feel of her breasts and the sound of her voice repeating his name pushes him over the edge along with her.
She looks at him, really looks him in the eyes, and he hopes she sees love there too (after all, he’s more in love with her than he really should be).
Re: The Cleansing Fire - FShep/Kaidan - (7/7 goddamn it I'm a moron)
anonymous
April 1 2012, 22:57:43 UTC
The bed, once they finally make their way over to it, is a welcome softness. They settle in and she curls up against him, slinging his arm over her and nestling her chin in the crook of his neck. It’s a lazy sort of comfortable, the kind where you might accidentally start thinking that maybe the next day you can sleep in, that maybe you can just stay in bed and fuck all day and not have to worry about reapers and husks and the problems of the galaxy.
Shepard doesn’t feel that way, though. He can feel it in the way her muscles are still tense and how she keeps sighing into his neck, twisting and trying to get comfortable but not able to. She’s drank and danced and fucked, but she can’t forget. Can’t deal with the fact that she can shoot a brute point blank in the face but can’t even look one of her best friends in the eyes.
Maybe, in the end, she is a little bit afraid of herself. Kaidan might be scared of his what own mind can do, but Shepard? She’s terrified of the fact that she’s just as fallible and scared as the rest of them.
“You can’t do everything, you know,” he whispers as he pulls back to look at her. He doesn’t even really know what to say, if he’s being honest.
“I know,” she replies, eyes downcast, but it sounds more like it’s out of habit and not something she really believes. She then breathes in deeply, shaking her head. “But she’s my friend. I should at least be able to do this.”
Her makeup is still smudged under her eyes, so he runs a thumb under one of them to wipe it off. If he feels wetness there, he’ll never let her know.
“Don’t worry,” he says with confidence, and likes the way it seems to make her instantly relax. “You will.”
That seems to settle her down, at least enough for now. A kiss on his neck sends a chill over him, and her breath against his skin is soothing and warm. “Goodnight, Kaidan.”
He replies in kind, and then closes his eyes. Sees the ghosted images of stars on the back of his eyelids as he starts to drift off to sleep, and as he does he imagines her with mussed hair and sleepy eyes, a leg slung over his waist. Imagines a clock ticking lazily over into late morning on a day with nothing to do, and her voice begging him to stay in bed as the sun spills in over them.
**
The next morning she’s gone before he wakes up, and when he finally finds her she’s with Liara in starboard obs, looking out at the stars and holding the asari’s hand as she cries.
---
A/N Lol sorry I can't count, anon. I got really scared when I got to the end and was like, shit wait, did I forget a part? I don't think I did, anyway. Eee, well, I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for the inspiration, OP.
Re: The Cleansing Fire - FShep/Kaidan - (7/7 goddamn it I'm a moron)
anonymous
April 2 2012, 02:12:05 UTC
Thank you! It's the first time I've really written a longer piece from his POV, so I was a little nervous I'd get it wrong. Glad it was at least enjoyable!
Re: The Cleansing Fire - FShep/Kaidan - (7/7 goddamn it I'm a moron)
anonymous
April 2 2012, 15:57:34 UTC
Ah, this is great! I don't usually even like f!Shenko and kind of clicked this on a whim, but this is certainly one of those few exceptions and it's definitely going in my saved links, absolutely stunning. Just shsfdghdg. Loved the thought processes, your Shepard and the way you've got Kaidan down. Have you written anything else I might be able to peruse?
(This anon always messes numbering up too, thus feels your panic and pain about possibly missing some. ffffwordcounts)
Re: The Cleansing Fire - FShep/Kaidan - (7/7 goddamn it I'm a moron)
anonymous
April 2 2012, 17:45:05 UTC
Oh anon, you are so sweet! I'm so flattered that you read my little story (and saved it!) even if you aren't too big on the pairing. I'm glad you felt Kaidan was written well (one of my biggest writing fears is OOC-ness) and that my Shepard felt distinct/like a character and not just a placeholder to have things bounced off of, it's something that can be tricky for me.
Aw, I'm sorry to disappoint but I don't have anything else on the kmeme I've done...yet :) I've written a couple of small drabbles in ME and some stuff for Dragon Age, though. Not sure how de-anoning works here, but in a few days when I get unlazy I'll be posting this to my LJ/my AO3 so if you search for it there I'm sure you'll find me if you want to take a look!
Re: The Cleansing Fire - FShep/Kaidan - (7/7 goddamn it I'm a moron)
anonymous
April 2 2012, 19:28:05 UTC
I feel you, writing solo for an anon meme like this is always hard because you don't know if you're nailing the characters or just flailing about! But dw, pretty sure you nailed them. C:
Welp, don't be shy about maybe linking it in the comments here when you stick it up, perhaps? Hope y'all write some more for us here in the future, either way.
Re: The Cleansing Fire - FShep/Kaidan - (7/7 goddamn it I'm a moron)
anonymous
April 6 2012, 03:53:12 UTC
(I hope this is okay to do - I checked the FAQ and it seemed like linking to outside sites where our fics are was okay, but if it's not do let me know and I'll have it deleted)
Slowing down causes a shudder to roll through him, so he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before nodding. He gets it, understands that she needs to be in control at least once today. “Yeah, yeah. Okay.”
He slings an arm around her, pulling her close to his chest, before rolling over on to his back so she can straddle him. For a while she just grinds against him slowly, leaning over and pressing herself against his chest as she peppers his neck and shoulders with kisses. One of his hands runs up from the back of her thigh to settle at the small of her back, while the other moves to twist and tangle in her hair. Pulling gently, he disconnects her lips from his skin and redirects them to his mouth, and when she deepens the kiss his hips buck against her involuntarily.
“Hm, impatience,” she teases, biting softly at his lip. “What happened to maintaining control?”
“What can I say?” he interrupts, sliding his hand from the small of her back to grab at her ass. “You’re,” he’s fumbling his words like a teenager, “you’re-”
Her mouth crashes into his, and he feels her reposition. “At ease.”
With blessed urgency she reaches down, grasps him firmly, and with his name on her lips slides down over him until she’s flush against his hips. The sight of her is the stuff of legends - back arched as she leans over him with her hands flat against the floor on either side of his head; lips parted, flushed and wet from their kiss, with breath heavy and fast; breasts bouncing with every thrust as she rides him hard, grinding out her release with determination.
The skin on his back burns from friction, and he can already see red spots forming on her knees, but none of that matters as he thrusts up into her, matching her frantic pace as best he can. Her hair has fallen in front of her face and her eyes are squeezed shut in focus, and he gets it, he does, but he just wants…
He reaches up and pushes her hair out of her face, grabs her jaw and turns her face toward his. “Please, Shepard, please look at me, just for a second.”
Her eyes fly open, and he’s pretty sure he sees love there (there’s no harm in hoping, anyway).
When she comes it’s like a shock to her system, her muscles tensing and a corona sparking around her. She begs for his touch, grabbing at him so he’ll sit up and press himself against her, tangling his hands in her hair. So he’ll wrap an arm around her waist and hold her close as she rides out the waves of pleasure, kissing her sloppily as the feel of her breasts and the sound of her voice repeating his name pushes him over the edge along with her.
She looks at him, really looks him in the eyes, and he hopes she sees love there too (after all, he’s more in love with her than he really should be).
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Shepard doesn’t feel that way, though. He can feel it in the way her muscles are still tense and how she keeps sighing into his neck, twisting and trying to get comfortable but not able to. She’s drank and danced and fucked, but she can’t forget. Can’t deal with the fact that she can shoot a brute point blank in the face but can’t even look one of her best friends in the eyes.
Maybe, in the end, she is a little bit afraid of herself. Kaidan might be scared of his what own mind can do, but Shepard? She’s terrified of the fact that she’s just as fallible and scared as the rest of them.
“You can’t do everything, you know,” he whispers as he pulls back to look at her. He doesn’t even really know what to say, if he’s being honest.
“I know,” she replies, eyes downcast, but it sounds more like it’s out of habit and not something she really believes. She then breathes in deeply, shaking her head. “But she’s my friend. I should at least be able to do this.”
Her makeup is still smudged under her eyes, so he runs a thumb under one of them to wipe it off. If he feels wetness there, he’ll never let her know.
“Don’t worry,” he says with confidence, and likes the way it seems to make her instantly relax. “You will.”
That seems to settle her down, at least enough for now. A kiss on his neck sends a chill over him, and her breath against his skin is soothing and warm. “Goodnight, Kaidan.”
He replies in kind, and then closes his eyes. Sees the ghosted images of stars on the back of his eyelids as he starts to drift off to sleep, and as he does he imagines her with mussed hair and sleepy eyes, a leg slung over his waist. Imagines a clock ticking lazily over into late morning on a day with nothing to do, and her voice begging him to stay in bed as the sun spills in over them.
**
The next morning she’s gone before he wakes up, and when he finally finds her she’s with Liara in starboard obs, looking out at the stars and holding the asari’s hand as she cries.
---
A/N Lol sorry I can't count, anon. I got really scared when I got to the end and was like, shit wait, did I forget a part? I don't think I did, anyway. Eee, well, I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for the inspiration, OP.
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(This anon always messes numbering up too, thus feels your panic and pain about possibly missing some. ffffwordcounts)
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Aw, I'm sorry to disappoint but I don't have anything else on the kmeme I've done...yet :) I've written a couple of small drabbles in ME and some stuff for Dragon Age, though. Not sure how de-anoning works here, but in a few days when I get unlazy I'll be posting this to my LJ/my AO3 so if you search for it there I'm sure you'll find me if you want to take a look!
Thanks again anon for the great comment <3
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Welp, don't be shy about maybe linking it in the comments here when you stick it up, perhaps? Hope y'all write some more for us here in the future, either way.
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Sure, anon! Here is a link to the ME section of my masterlist (small now, but will be growing!): http://disalae.livejournal.com/9106.html#masseffect
Flattered you'd like to read more :) Hope you (and anyone else who cares to check it out) enjoy!
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In fact, I might incorporate this into my headcanon.
Good work :)
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting <3
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Glad you liked it, and thanks so much for reading and commenting!
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