Re: Teardrop [8/11]
anonymous
January 5 2012, 17:45:29 UTC
But before Nihlus could attempt the feat, Saren slid down on his knees and ran his tongue along the seam of Nihlus’s pubic plates. Nihlus sucked in a ragged breath, looking down.
“Open for me, Nihlus.”
“Mmmhh… why should I?”
Now he was apparently very good in the holding-back game.
Saren ran his sharp talontips down his lower belly, over the plates and along the inner thighs, making Nihlus writhe and pant, but he remained closed. “Because I’m asking nicely?”
“Don’t ask… tell me… mmm. Tell me what you want.”
Saren licked between the plates again, and Nihlus propped himself on his toetips, but did not yield. “I want you… to open up.”
Garrus smiled. Saren was good. But Nihlus was better. He laughed, half of it rolling on his irresistible mating subharmonics. “And then…?”
There was no escaping it now. Garrus held his breath as Saren placed his hands on Nihlus’s hips and looked up. He was completely serious. Completely open, and not just in the pubic region. “I want you inside me.”
The playful smile waned from Nihlus’s face, a moan escaping on a deep breath, then another. They stared in each other’s eyes, and when Saren ran his tongue along the seam this time, it spread open. He took Nihlus into his mouth in one smooth, practiced motion, never breaking eye contact. Every breath was a moan now, and Garrus found it difficult to keep his own deprived vocalizations suppressed.
Saren must have swallowed, for his face was buried in the soft skin of Nihlus’s trembling stomach. Nihlus lowered one hand from the counter, the other flexing to support a part of his weight and Garrus could understand, yes he could, his knees were the first to go too. Nihlus caressed Saren’s fringe, then took him by the back of his head and started rocking in a slow, gentle rhythm.
“Spirits… Spirits… ah… ah… told you… I’d make you… mmmh.”
Words got lost in the rumbling. Garrus tried to swallow but his throat was completely dry because he’d been breathing through his mouth and hadn’t even noticed. “Shit,” he whispered to himself.
Nihlus picked up the pace, accelerating degree by tantalizing degree, but his movements were still very gentle, strictly controlled, his white-hot ahs and ohs following every shallow thrust until he could stand it no longer. He took Saren’s face in both hands now, and moved to pull out. “Come here.”
Saren let go, reluctantly, then licked Nihlus clean and stood up, leaving a trail of ticklish laps along the entire length of Nihlus’s stomach and chest and finally neck and chin. “Nihlus,” he rumbled, then they pressed foreheads together again, wrenching at Garrus’s guts. He could see it all now, how they pushed into each other, face, chest, hips and all, conquered by an instinct no turian could ever deny: to belong, to connect, to make a whole and become one. To bond, for life.
They were rubbing together, and their tongues lavished one another, and their arms went around shoulders and collars and their legs got desperately entangled.
“Shit,” Garrus whispered again, and paused the video, for it had become unbearable.
Re: Teardrop [9/11]
anonymous
January 5 2012, 17:53:45 UTC
He sat there, breathing, thinking, for more than a few minutes, looking from the paused video, over the Mako controls, over the fake leather on the seats - it was already peeling off - over his knees that were jerking from a time to time ever so slightly, as if he were freezing, up to his hands, resolutely crossed on his chest, and back to the video. The whirlpool of ill-defined feelings inside him crystallized mostly into a vague sensation of sickness. And then there was the sad, yet undeniable erection that just wouldn’t go away despite the fat lump in his dry throat.
Strange thoughts flashed through his mind. Pathetic attempts to rationalize what he was doing, or at least give it some semblance of a healthy emotional foundation.
Surely Nihlus wouldn’t mind one of what must have been an army of one-night-stands getting off at the sight of his lovemaking. For to call it any other name would have been cowardice. It was clear that these two had pledged themselves to one another. I’m doing this for Nihlus. Yes. He deserves to have a witness, to have someone to testify to their love.
But the mirror image of the notion was so disturbing he was afraid to spell it out even in the privacy of his own mind. The notion that… Saren deserved it. To have a witness. To have someone to testify that he too was a man, a man with a heart, a heart that knew love. A notion not only disturbing but dangerous, it was fucking dangerous to grow feelings for the enemy now that it was all going to hell anyway and over what? He glanced at the status bar under the video. Over these fifteen minutes? Fifteen minutes of sexy footage?
Of which only five remained.
Garrus was many things, but he wasn’t a coward. He played it again.
Re: Teardrop [10/11]
anonymous
January 5 2012, 17:57:27 UTC
“Tell me, Saren,” Nihlus breathed. “Tell me what you want.”
In the way of answer, Saren slid a hand down, and around them both, and with each stroke, touched the tip of Nihlus’s tongue with his own. It was an effective way to shut Nihlus up, but soon it became too much and he pushed Saren by the shoulders. “Tell me,” he insisted. “Tell me or I’ll come right now.”
Saren’s mandibles flicked in a smile and he let go. “Unacceptable,” he whispered.
“Come on, Saren,” Nihlus said between kissing Saren’s mouth and chin. “Can’t you just… tell me?”
“You know what I want.”
Again they became entangled in an embrace that could physically get closer only by that one ultimate increment.
“Yeah, but I want to hear it.”
“Why?”
“It turns me on,” Nihlus exhaled. “Feel that?”
“Mmmh. Yes.”
“It’s what happens when I imagine you say it.”
“Fine,” Saren said, moving away a bit so that he could look into Nihlus’s face. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Nihlus was watching him in anticipation. Finally Saren huffed. “I can’t.”
Nihlus laughed. “Sure you can. Let’s start with something familiar. Say: fuck you, Nihlus.”
The way he said fuck with a juicy, pregnant flick of the tongue made Garrus twitch. His heart was hammering.
“Fuck you, Nihlus,” Saren repeated in a deep, rusty voice.
“Again.”
“Fuck you.”
“And now say, fuck me, Nihlus.” His voice went all the way down into the lowest register and was barely audible. Personal, Garrus thought, too personal! But he was far beyond the point of turning back now.
Saren hesitated. “What if that’s not what I want?”
“Easier then breathing. Just add, I want to…”
“Right. Simple.” Yet his breathing was labored, and face strained in effort. “I…” He cleared his throat, and when the words finally came out of it, they were so loaded with honest to Spirits passion that Garrus bit his tongue. “I want to fuck you, Nihlus.”
“Spirits,” Nihlus moaned, pressing his forehead into Saren’s with an almost tangible urgency, his hips rolling to rub against Saren’s body just so.
“Your turn,” Saren whispered.
“You’ve already heard me say that.”
“Just once. A long time ago.”
There were no more chuckles left in Nihlus. He was trembling with desire. “All right,” he nodded. “All right. I can do that.”
Still, there was a considerable pause very full of breathing, Saren’s breathing, and Nihlus’s breathing, and the loudest of all, Garrus’s breathing.
“Fuck me,” Nihlus whispered at last, and Garrus felt his erection swelling and pulsing in the hot rhythm of the words. “Fuck me, Saren.”
That set off the avalanche. Suddenly there was a flurry of movement as Saren turned Nihlus around, moaning over his breath now, and Garrus could relate, oh yes he could, he was never a moaner but he could barely keep it down himself. Saren pushed Nihlus’s legs apart with his own, then bent over him and went inside him, one hand under his chest and holding him close, the other between his legs and griping him tight. He glided deeper, and deeper, and a guttural “mmmmmhhhh!” rolled from his mouth in unison with Nihlus’s more vocal “aaahhhhhh!” as Saren towered above him and finally bit into the soft skin of his neck. He started moving, then, gently at first, nasal moans escaping him in time with the thrusts, his hand stroking Nihlus in the same slowly accelerating rhythm. A rhythm that soon turned moderate, then merciless, and there were no words left in Nihlus either, only the heady unh-unh-unh-unh as Saren pounded into him, growling deeper and deeper, holding him closer and closer. And when Garrus sensed it was nearly over, he abandoned all thoughts and notions and he pressed a hand between his legs with a ragged whimper, just in time to see Nihlus spasm and cry out, and Saren arch his head back with a smothered roar and something quite akin to pain on his silver face; and this once, it was anything but bare.
Re: Teardrop [11/11]
anonymous
January 5 2012, 17:58:46 UTC
Garrus averted his eyes in equal parts shame and exhaustion, but also to allow them some privacy as they disengaged. When he glanced up again, they were leaning on the kitchen counter; this time around, Saren was below, and Nihlus was resting on him, sounds of breathing slowly drowning in the background noise.
“Tell me again why we can’t do this more often?” Nihlus said.
Saren didn’t answer. Instead, he took to caressing Nihlus’s fringe, drawing lazy strokes along the lean, long blades. Two minutes remained of the vid and Garrus was determined to see it to the end, although he was feeling terrible: guilty, dirty, yet undone.
“The worst thing is, I know exactly what you want… don’t want… to say.” Nihlus cleared his throat and then did a pretty good imitation of Saren’s imperious voice: “In this line of work, it’s best to avoid entanglement.”
Garrus smiled a sad smile. Entanglement was risky business in any kind of work. Not that he would know. But perhaps Shepard did. Perhaps she’d just learned the hard way.
As Saren didn’t reply, Nihlus resumed the act. “Nihlus. This is dangerous.” He chuckled, and the happy innocence of the thrill in his voice made Garrus stare up and about so his eyes could dry before something embarrassing happened. “Nihlus. This position isn’t secure.”
If there was some reaction on Saren’s face, it was too subtle for the resolution of the camera. Nihlus laughed. “Nihlus. Shut the fuck up.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Saren muttered. “I don’t talk dirty.”
“Mmhmm.” Nihlus turned to look right in the eye of the camera. Garrus froze. The stare melted him into a shapeless, boneless mass of sadness and regrets. The console on the desk to the side came to life when Nihlus approached it, but before turning the feed off, he got his face into the camera, started to smile, then changed his mind. Instead he shaped three voiceless words, winked, and blinked out of existence.
Re: Teardrop [11/11]
anonymous
January 6 2012, 14:14:32 UTC
Hehe, thank you. :)
And yeah. I'm pretty much your typical attention whore. A bit ashamed of deanoning as the author on that one occasion, but I wasn't fluent with meme etiquette back then. Nowadays I just leave "discrete" links to my ffn. :D
Oh. My. Sweet. Spirits. How do you do that how do you make things incredibly sexy and incredibly tragic at the same time you must teach me master i will forever be in your debt for ever and ever and ever and oh man Garrus was the one who broke my heart because seeing this is so merciless on his emotions and Nihlus was just so sweet and caring i could hug him in a crush or vice versa and Saren
*sobs*
So that's what happened to his corpse, in the end.
Re: OP here
anonymous
January 6 2012, 13:58:34 UTC
The OP has a keen eye and has guessed my intention right. Remember the "new amp slots" in Saren's back? Garrus theorizes that Sovereign put them there and he's right.
My idea is that, on the surface, these implants grant Saren enhanced biotic abilities, through the possibility to tap directly into the energy sources provided by his body. In other words, instead of burning blood sugar for energy, he can burn his own flesh (fatty tissues and muscle protein). I'm guessing it's not something he'd normally do, unless in a terribly fucked up situation. But it's what Sovereign does in the end: burns Saren's flesh and uses the energy to manipulate his dead body.
Re: OP here
anonymous
January 6 2012, 13:49:15 UTC
Thank you, dear OP. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. ♥
I started writing this right after The Candidate and it was the most difficult thing I've ever written. Every pause that Garrus had to make was a place where I needed to stop writing because I was too sad and couldn't take it further. Didn't post it at the time I wrote it because I thought it was too personal. Eh. :)
Again, many thanks for reading and for the heartfelt comment.
“Open for me, Nihlus.”
“Mmmhh… why should I?”
Now he was apparently very good in the holding-back game.
Saren ran his sharp talontips down his lower belly, over the plates and along the inner thighs, making Nihlus writhe and pant, but he remained closed. “Because I’m asking nicely?”
“Don’t ask… tell me… mmm. Tell me what you want.”
Saren licked between the plates again, and Nihlus propped himself on his toetips, but did not yield. “I want you… to open up.”
Garrus smiled. Saren was good. But Nihlus was better. He laughed, half of it rolling on his irresistible mating subharmonics. “And then…?”
There was no escaping it now. Garrus held his breath as Saren placed his hands on Nihlus’s hips and looked up. He was completely serious. Completely open, and not just in the pubic region. “I want you inside me.”
The playful smile waned from Nihlus’s face, a moan escaping on a deep breath, then another. They stared in each other’s eyes, and when Saren ran his tongue along the seam this time, it spread open. He took Nihlus into his mouth in one smooth, practiced motion, never breaking eye contact. Every breath was a moan now, and Garrus found it difficult to keep his own deprived vocalizations suppressed.
Saren must have swallowed, for his face was buried in the soft skin of Nihlus’s trembling stomach. Nihlus lowered one hand from the counter, the other flexing to support a part of his weight and Garrus could understand, yes he could, his knees were the first to go too. Nihlus caressed Saren’s fringe, then took him by the back of his head and started rocking in a slow, gentle rhythm.
“Spirits… Spirits… ah… ah… told you… I’d make you… mmmh.”
Words got lost in the rumbling. Garrus tried to swallow but his throat was completely dry because he’d been breathing through his mouth and hadn’t even noticed. “Shit,” he whispered to himself.
Nihlus picked up the pace, accelerating degree by tantalizing degree, but his movements were still very gentle, strictly controlled, his white-hot ahs and ohs following every shallow thrust until he could stand it no longer. He took Saren’s face in both hands now, and moved to pull out. “Come here.”
Saren let go, reluctantly, then licked Nihlus clean and stood up, leaving a trail of ticklish laps along the entire length of Nihlus’s stomach and chest and finally neck and chin. “Nihlus,” he rumbled, then they pressed foreheads together again, wrenching at Garrus’s guts. He could see it all now, how they pushed into each other, face, chest, hips and all, conquered by an instinct no turian could ever deny: to belong, to connect, to make a whole and become one. To bond, for life.
They were rubbing together, and their tongues lavished one another, and their arms went around shoulders and collars and their legs got desperately entangled.
“Shit,” Garrus whispered again, and paused the video, for it had become unbearable.
They were perfect.
Reply
Strange thoughts flashed through his mind. Pathetic attempts to rationalize what he was doing, or at least give it some semblance of a healthy emotional foundation.
Surely Nihlus wouldn’t mind one of what must have been an army of one-night-stands getting off at the sight of his lovemaking. For to call it any other name would have been cowardice. It was clear that these two had pledged themselves to one another. I’m doing this for Nihlus. Yes. He deserves to have a witness, to have someone to testify to their love.
But the mirror image of the notion was so disturbing he was afraid to spell it out even in the privacy of his own mind. The notion that… Saren deserved it. To have a witness. To have someone to testify that he too was a man, a man with a heart, a heart that knew love. A notion not only disturbing but dangerous, it was fucking dangerous to grow feelings for the enemy now that it was all going to hell anyway and over what? He glanced at the status bar under the video. Over these fifteen minutes? Fifteen minutes of sexy footage?
Of which only five remained.
Garrus was many things, but he wasn’t a coward. He played it again.
Reply
In the way of answer, Saren slid a hand down, and around them both, and with each stroke, touched the tip of Nihlus’s tongue with his own. It was an effective way to shut Nihlus up, but soon it became too much and he pushed Saren by the shoulders. “Tell me,” he insisted. “Tell me or I’ll come right now.”
Saren’s mandibles flicked in a smile and he let go. “Unacceptable,” he whispered.
“Come on, Saren,” Nihlus said between kissing Saren’s mouth and chin. “Can’t you just… tell me?”
“You know what I want.”
Again they became entangled in an embrace that could physically get closer only by that one ultimate increment.
“Yeah, but I want to hear it.”
“Why?”
“It turns me on,” Nihlus exhaled. “Feel that?”
“Mmmh. Yes.”
“It’s what happens when I imagine you say it.”
“Fine,” Saren said, moving away a bit so that he could look into Nihlus’s face. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. Nihlus was watching him in anticipation. Finally Saren huffed. “I can’t.”
Nihlus laughed. “Sure you can. Let’s start with something familiar. Say: fuck you, Nihlus.”
The way he said fuck with a juicy, pregnant flick of the tongue made Garrus twitch. His heart was hammering.
“Fuck you, Nihlus,” Saren repeated in a deep, rusty voice.
“Again.”
“Fuck you.”
“And now say, fuck me, Nihlus.” His voice went all the way down into the lowest register and was barely audible. Personal, Garrus thought, too personal! But he was far beyond the point of turning back now.
Saren hesitated. “What if that’s not what I want?”
“Easier then breathing. Just add, I want to…”
“Right. Simple.” Yet his breathing was labored, and face strained in effort. “I…” He cleared his throat, and when the words finally came out of it, they were so loaded with honest to Spirits passion that Garrus bit his tongue. “I want to fuck you, Nihlus.”
“Spirits,” Nihlus moaned, pressing his forehead into Saren’s with an almost tangible urgency, his hips rolling to rub against Saren’s body just so.
“Your turn,” Saren whispered.
“You’ve already heard me say that.”
“Just once. A long time ago.”
There were no more chuckles left in Nihlus. He was trembling with desire. “All right,” he nodded. “All right. I can do that.”
Still, there was a considerable pause very full of breathing, Saren’s breathing, and Nihlus’s breathing, and the loudest of all, Garrus’s breathing.
“Fuck me,” Nihlus whispered at last, and Garrus felt his erection swelling and pulsing in the hot rhythm of the words. “Fuck me, Saren.”
That set off the avalanche. Suddenly there was a flurry of movement as Saren turned Nihlus around, moaning over his breath now, and Garrus could relate, oh yes he could, he was never a moaner but he could barely keep it down himself. Saren pushed Nihlus’s legs apart with his own, then bent over him and went inside him, one hand under his chest and holding him close, the other between his legs and griping him tight. He glided deeper, and deeper, and a guttural “mmmmmhhhh!” rolled from his mouth in unison with Nihlus’s more vocal “aaahhhhhh!” as Saren towered above him and finally bit into the soft skin of his neck. He started moving, then, gently at first, nasal moans escaping him in time with the thrusts, his hand stroking Nihlus in the same slowly accelerating rhythm. A rhythm that soon turned moderate, then merciless, and there were no words left in Nihlus either, only the heady unh-unh-unh-unh as Saren pounded into him, growling deeper and deeper, holding him closer and closer. And when Garrus sensed it was nearly over, he abandoned all thoughts and notions and he pressed a hand between his legs with a ragged whimper, just in time to see Nihlus spasm and cry out, and Saren arch his head back with a smothered roar and something quite akin to pain on his silver face; and this once, it was anything but bare.
Reply
“Tell me again why we can’t do this more often?” Nihlus said.
Saren didn’t answer. Instead, he took to caressing Nihlus’s fringe, drawing lazy strokes along the lean, long blades. Two minutes remained of the vid and Garrus was determined to see it to the end, although he was feeling terrible: guilty, dirty, yet undone.
“The worst thing is, I know exactly what you want… don’t want… to say.” Nihlus cleared his throat and then did a pretty good imitation of Saren’s imperious voice: “In this line of work, it’s best to avoid entanglement.”
Garrus smiled a sad smile. Entanglement was risky business in any kind of work. Not that he would know. But perhaps Shepard did. Perhaps she’d just learned the hard way.
As Saren didn’t reply, Nihlus resumed the act. “Nihlus. This is dangerous.” He chuckled, and the happy innocence of the thrill in his voice made Garrus stare up and about so his eyes could dry before something embarrassing happened. “Nihlus. This position isn’t secure.”
If there was some reaction on Saren’s face, it was too subtle for the resolution of the camera. Nihlus laughed. “Nihlus. Shut the fuck up.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” Saren muttered. “I don’t talk dirty.”
“Mmhmm.” Nihlus turned to look right in the eye of the camera. Garrus froze. The stare melted him into a shapeless, boneless mass of sadness and regrets. The console on the desk to the side came to life when Nihlus approached it, but before turning the feed off, he got his face into the camera, started to smile, then changed his mind. Instead he shaped three voiceless words, winked, and blinked out of existence.
Reply
Reply
Bawling like a baby here.
Reply
Reply
And yeah. I'm pretty much your typical attention whore. A bit ashamed of deanoning as the author on that one occasion, but I wasn't fluent with meme etiquette back then. Nowadays I just leave "discrete" links to my ffn. :D
Reply
My.
Sweet.
Spirits.
How do you do that how do you make things incredibly sexy and incredibly tragic at the same time you must teach me master i will forever be in your debt for ever and ever and ever and oh man Garrus was the one who broke my heart because seeing this is so merciless on his emotions and Nihlus was just so sweet and caring i could hug him in a crush or vice versa and Saren
*sobs*
So that's what happened to his corpse, in the end.
I... think I may love you, dear author anon.
~OP
Reply
His...corpse? whut?
Reply
My idea is that, on the surface, these implants grant Saren enhanced biotic abilities, through the possibility to tap directly into the energy sources provided by his body. In other words, instead of burning blood sugar for energy, he can burn his own flesh (fatty tissues and muscle protein). I'm guessing it's not something he'd normally do, unless in a terribly fucked up situation. But it's what Sovereign does in the end: burns Saren's flesh and uses the energy to manipulate his dead body.
Yeah. Fucking Reapers.
PS: Thanks for reading and discussing. :)
~AA
Reply
I started writing this right after The Candidate and it was the most difficult thing I've ever written. Every pause that Garrus had to make was a place where I needed to stop writing because I was too sad and couldn't take it further. Didn't post it at the time I wrote it because I thought it was too personal. Eh. :)
Again, many thanks for reading and for the heartfelt comment.
~AA
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment