The Candidate: News Report (18/18)
anonymous
September 7 2011, 12:31:37 UTC
He sat to eat and brought up the terminal. Scrolled through the daily Citadel headlines and ended up typing “Nihlus” in the search bar to save time. The smiling face came up under the title “Attack on Eden Prime.” Garrus scanned the keywords. And put down the unfinished pastry on the tray with a hand that had started shaking.
He had barely known the man. Yes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen him face to face. True, all true. He had no right to mourn him. No, no right at all. It had only been a quick fuck against the wall.
So why was his throat suddenly constricted? Why was there an ache in his chest? He started to clear his throat but instead froze at the sound that came out of it. A horrible sound that scared the shit out of him. Deep, heavy and meaty, resonating from his vocal cavity in all the wrong ways.
Garrus stood up and pressed a hand against his chest, feeling the rapid heartbeat of panic. His breath came in ragged, and a crumb of food must have come in with it because he slipped into a violent fit of coughing that eventually sent him to the bathroom, and the freshly chewed lunch went out in sadly recognizable pieces.
When it seemed to be over, he stood in front of the mirror. Nauseating shivers were travelling up and down the muscles of his abdomen. He hadn’t cried even when they’d told him about Mum. He had never cried, period. His chest was still heaving with shock, but now it was controlled, contained. It had been just a cough. Yes. The sad news had made him choke on his lunch and that was all there was to it.
Another ragged breath.
He went back to the room, turned the terminal off without looking at it and took out a nearly empty bottle of quarian tequila from the storage. He was still on duty and wasn’t supposed to drink. Garrus didn’t give a flying fuck about duty right now. He took a long drag that burnt through the lump in his throat in no time.
There was just about enough tequila in the bottle to make the final goodbye a bit blurry in his memory.
Re: The Candidate: News Report (18/18)
anonymous
September 7 2011, 15:19:12 UTC
Dear Anon,
Two things.
One, in the spirit of fill-a-thon-week, perhaps you should have reposted the prompt, then posted the story as comments to the repost, so that it gets on the first page and it reaches more anons.
Two, that was incredible. Really. I don't know what to say. Your characters are spot-on, your dialogue is gold (though these I should have come to expect already from you); but what distinguishes this fic is the harsh reality of it. No feelings are spared, and none are revealed when they need not be. No sentimentality, just the overbearing sense that every character is at their wits' end. I've a headcanon Saren who doesn't do 'blowing off steam', and a headcanon Nihlus who's a practised liar. And boy, has this gone a long way towards convincing me otherwise. Both this, and the prequel. And I'm glad to have inspired the prequel.
Re: The Candidate: News Report (18/18)smehurSeptember 7 2011, 17:58:44 UTC
Dear Misfire Anon,
I am (hyperventilating) so grateful, so humbled by your praise. You are my most favorite author ever and your writing inspires me constantly. Nihlus... is becoming a very practiced liar indeed. And Saren... well. Perhaps one day I'll write this from his perspective and take you that extra step towards being entirely convinced. :)
Okay, okay give me a minute... I have to... stop crying here for just a second so I can see the screen enough to respond properly.
...
....
Holy flying fuck. I can't... fff. I think this is my favorite fic. Ever. I mean, you somehow made everything so perfectly that it hit all of my everything in one fell swoop and nnnnh... I have a horrendous weak spot for Saren and Nihlus as a pair (their tragic, tragic relationship) and then you wrote about them in the most perfectly captured way, and Garrus... god dammit, I can't find enough words in my vocabulary to describe my utter happiness right now. I read the prequel and by the first paragraph I knew I was in for a ride. And shit, you didn't disappoint.
Just like misfire anon (who is also utterly amazing and can I have both of your children please?), I'll throw my anonymity out the water. I'm the artist anon that has drawn the few illustrations of Rain on Virmire and its sequel, with the comic thathasyettobefinished. I really want to illustrate this. I really do. I... I can't make any guarantees with school... but I'll try something. I have to.
Nihlus and Garrus together were just a passing fancy of mine when I first started sifting through this kink meme, and now... oh man now... /sob.
Thank you so much. ;~~~~; I'm in awe.
And yes, what misfire anon said, please, please repost this for the fill-a-thon so more people will see it. At least a comment that says 'hey I filled this over here' kind of thing.
Spirits. I have no words... I am so glad you liked it. The prompt was so beautiful, it's been on my mind forever. And to think, I was afraid you'd be disappointed or annoyed with the Saren/Nihlus aspect... In truth, I can't write or think or dream of one without the other. And boy, do I dream!
Thank you for kind, heart-warming words.
And... sure? Let's have children? I adore the illustrations you made for RoV. The recent one especially, it has so much heart it breaks heart. If you make some for this I'll be the happiest, most honored, most grateful deanoned!author ever. <3
Oh hell no! I've been waiting for people to misfire like it's a lifeline! I am so utterly ecstatic that this prompt has been filled I just re-read the whole thing again even though I really should be getting ready for school. But no, do not ever stop writing Saren and Nihlus together. They are too perfect together (and yet so broken. /sob), and the added tangle of Garrus (and that wonderful female OC) is just... guh.
I will try my best to fit some drawing time in for this. I have the second page of the RoV comic inked and I really should work on that because I keep kicking myself every time I think about how much it isn't done. I also promised someone else I'd try and fit in time for a Garrus/Femshep breast play pic... but the Nihlus/Garrus is special to me, mostly because it was the first mention of the two together, in this prompt.
Also, this is me just thinking out loud here, but I really wonder what Nihlus' perfect night with Saren would be. Like, him fantasizing because it clearly never happened. Just a thought to ponder...
Anyway, seriously, I can't thank you enough for writing this. If you wanted to continue swapping ideas feel free to PM me. <3
Re: The Candidate: News Report (18/18)
anonymous
September 7 2011, 18:00:59 UTC
Oh. Oh damn.
Please excuse me while I pick up the fragments of my shattered heart.
I'm literally speechless over here. Reading this left me raw like being dragged through broken glass. This is written flawlessly, and it's just perfect in mood and flow and characterisation. And I'm rambling.
And crying. And wondering how I'll ever get into the mood again to write on the pitiful excuse of a fill I set myself for this fill-a-thon.
I also couldn't keep from reading the others of your stories on ffnet. You disabled anonymous commenting there and I'm an anonymous coward, so let me use this way to tell you that BEFORE I read this fill I thought Color and Scars broke my heart. Then this fill ran over what was left of it like a tank. Repeatedly.
Re: The Candidate: News Report (18/18)smehurSeptember 8 2011, 01:36:45 UTC
Thank you, dear anon, from the heart. Such a beautiful comment, but it does make me a little bit sad. Why so hard on yourself?
And thank you for reading Color & Scars. I was deeply, deeply invested in writing them; like I was with this. It means a lot to know that people are reading them, even if they prefer to remain in shadows. :)
He had barely known the man. Yes. He couldn’t remember the last time he had seen him face to face. True, all true. He had no right to mourn him. No, no right at all. It had only been a quick fuck against the wall.
So why was his throat suddenly constricted? Why was there an ache in his chest? He started to clear his throat but instead froze at the sound that came out of it. A horrible sound that scared the shit out of him. Deep, heavy and meaty, resonating from his vocal cavity in all the wrong ways.
Garrus stood up and pressed a hand against his chest, feeling the rapid heartbeat of panic. His breath came in ragged, and a crumb of food must have come in with it because he slipped into a violent fit of coughing that eventually sent him to the bathroom, and the freshly chewed lunch went out in sadly recognizable pieces.
When it seemed to be over, he stood in front of the mirror. Nauseating shivers were travelling up and down the muscles of his abdomen. He hadn’t cried even when they’d told him about Mum. He had never cried, period. His chest was still heaving with shock, but now it was controlled, contained. It had been just a cough. Yes. The sad news had made him choke on his lunch and that was all there was to it.
Another ragged breath.
He went back to the room, turned the terminal off without looking at it and took out a nearly empty bottle of quarian tequila from the storage. He was still on duty and wasn’t supposed to drink. Garrus didn’t give a flying fuck about duty right now. He took a long drag that burnt through the lump in his throat in no time.
There was just about enough tequila in the bottle to make the final goodbye a bit blurry in his memory.
Reply
Reply
Two things.
One, in the spirit of fill-a-thon-week, perhaps you should have reposted the prompt, then posted the story as comments to the repost, so that it gets on the first page and it reaches more anons.
Two, that was incredible. Really. I don't know what to say. Your characters are spot-on, your dialogue is gold (though these I should have come to expect already from you); but what distinguishes this fic is the harsh reality of it. No feelings are spared, and none are revealed when they need not be. No sentimentality, just the overbearing sense that every character is at their wits' end. I've a headcanon Saren who doesn't do 'blowing off steam', and a headcanon Nihlus who's a practised liar. And boy, has this gone a long way towards convincing me otherwise. Both this, and the prequel. And I'm glad to have inspired the prequel.
Great job,
(And to heck with anonymity,)
Misfire Anon
Reply
I am (hyperventilating) so grateful, so humbled by your praise. You are my most favorite author ever and your writing inspires me constantly. Nihlus... is becoming a very practiced liar indeed. And Saren... well. Perhaps one day I'll write this from his perspective and take you that extra step towards being entirely convinced. :)
Many thanks and many <3,
Smehur
Reply
...
....
Holy flying fuck. I can't... fff. I think this is my favorite fic. Ever. I mean, you somehow made everything so perfectly that it hit all of my everything in one fell swoop and nnnnh... I have a horrendous weak spot for Saren and Nihlus as a pair (their tragic, tragic relationship) and then you wrote about them in the most perfectly captured way, and Garrus... god dammit, I can't find enough words in my vocabulary to describe my utter happiness right now. I read the prequel and by the first paragraph I knew I was in for a ride. And shit, you didn't disappoint.
Just like misfire anon (who is also utterly amazing and can I have both of your children please?), I'll throw my anonymity out the water. I'm the artist anon that has drawn the few illustrations of Rain on Virmire and its sequel, with the comic thathasyettobefinished. I really want to illustrate this. I really do. I... I can't make any guarantees with school... but I'll try something. I have to.
Nihlus and Garrus together were just a passing fancy of mine when I first started sifting through this kink meme, and now... oh man now... /sob.
Thank you so much. ;~~~~; I'm in awe.
And yes, what misfire anon said, please, please repost this for the fill-a-thon so more people will see it. At least a comment that says 'hey I filled this over here' kind of thing.
Reply
Thank you for kind, heart-warming words.
And... sure? Let's have children? I adore the illustrations you made for RoV. The recent one especially, it has so much heart it breaks heart. If you make some for this I'll be the happiest, most honored, most grateful deanoned!author ever. <3
Reply
I will try my best to fit some drawing time in for this. I have the second page of the RoV comic inked and I really should work on that because I keep kicking myself every time I think about how much it isn't done. I also promised someone else I'd try and fit in time for a Garrus/Femshep breast play pic... but the Nihlus/Garrus is special to me, mostly because it was the first mention of the two together, in this prompt.
Also, this is me just thinking out loud here, but I really wonder what Nihlus' perfect night with Saren would be. Like, him fantasizing because it clearly never happened. Just a thought to ponder...
Anyway, seriously, I can't thank you enough for writing this. If you wanted to continue swapping ideas feel free to PM me. <3
Reply
Please excuse me while I pick up the fragments of my shattered heart.
I'm literally speechless over here. Reading this left me raw like being dragged through broken glass.
This is written flawlessly, and it's just perfect in mood and flow and characterisation.
And I'm rambling.
And crying. And wondering how I'll ever get into the mood again to write on the pitiful excuse of a fill I set myself for this fill-a-thon.
I also couldn't keep from reading the others of your stories on ffnet. You disabled anonymous commenting there and I'm an anonymous coward, so let me use this way to tell you that BEFORE I read this fill I thought Color and Scars broke my heart. Then this fill ran over what was left of it like a tank. Repeatedly.
You rock as a writer. Really.
Reply
And thank you for reading Color & Scars. I was deeply, deeply invested in writing them; like I was with this. It means a lot to know that people are reading them, even if they prefer to remain in shadows. :)
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