If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:24:55 UTC
Some wise person once said ‘The reward for a job well done is more work’. Jane wished, in retrospect, that she’d kept that in mind when she’d first started out as a Specter, as it was she found herself seriously considering expanding that truism to ‘more work with fewer resources’. Hell, she hadn’t gotten much Council or Alliance support during the hunt for Saren, but at least she hadn’t had to buy her own damn fuel.
She reminded herself that giving the Illusive Man the metaphorical bird and blowing the Collector Base had been the correct choice, but it was hard to bear that in mind when the repair bills were piling up and people somehow still expected her to drop everything and pop over to the opposite end of the galaxy to investigate an Elvis sighting or whatever.
‘At least the Elvis sightings pay something.’ Jane shut her personal terminal shut and pushed away from her desk just as the doors to her cabin hissed open. She turned to greet Garrus with a smile (a tired smile, but it was the best she could do). “For once you didn’t knock.” She teased him.
“Yes, well, I’m learning.” He ducked down to butt his forehead gently against hers and lingered there for a brief nuzzle. “Am I interrupting anything?”
“Yes, but it’s paperwork -which you are hereby ordered to interrupt at every available opportunity.” She replied and briefly checked the time on her omnitool. She blinked and glanced up at him. “Your shift just ended five minutes ago. Did you come straight up here?” She would have expected him to at least make a brief stopover in the mess hall. Thanks to the state of the Normandy, duty shifts had been extended to a full ten hours. Mess Sergeant Gardner did his best to make sure everyone got fed and rested, but there was a lot to do and the Normandy was pretty much a sitting duck until then.
Garrus shifted uncomfortably. “Ah, yes… well, something came up during my shift and I wanted to discuss it with you.”
Jane couldn’t help the grin that broke out over her face. “Oh, did it now?” She reached up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I like the sound of that.”
“Ah…? Oh.” Garrus snorted with amusement as he caught his own unintentional innuendo. “You filthy, filthy minded woman. You’re worse than I am. How do I resist your charms?”
“That’s easy: you don’t.” She replied and nipped the edge of his un-marred mandible. They had learned through some trial and error that, while Garrus generally enjoyed it when she stroked his scars with her fingertips, there was some nerve damage on that side that made biting inadvisable. Everywhere else was fair game though.
A faint tremor ran through Garrus as she continued to nibble her way down the line of his jaw and he bodily lifted her out of her chair to seat her on the edge of her desk, a position that was no doubt easier on his back. Jane wrapped her legs around his waist and was just starting to reach for the pressure seal on his cuirass when Garrus caught her hands and stilled them. “Just… wait for a little bit, Jane? This is what I wanted to talk about.”
Jane felt herself deflate a little bit with disappointment, but reminded herself that he hadn’t actually turned her down and had only requested a brief delay. Still, when Garrus wanted to talk it generally precluded more recreational activities. Turians were creatures with single-track minds. So she unhooked her legs from around him and slid down to her feet. “So, when you said you had something to discuss then you actually have something to discuss.”
“Sorry, Shepard, it wasn’t innuendo this time.” Garrus didn’t release his hold on her shoulders, which was a hopeful sign that he hadn’t come upstairs to talk about the damn Thanix cannon. He paused, visibly collecting himself. “So… earlier today I ended up with some free time while I waited on a diagnostic report to compile. So I watched a few of those vids. You know, the uh… the ones from Mordin.”
Oh, dear god. Jane found herself wishing suddenly that Garrus really had come up with some sort of pressing mechanical issue that could only be discussed in their off-hours. It would have been less painful. She fought to keep her expression open, calm, and non-judgmental. “So. You have questions then?” She asked carefully.
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:26:43 UTC
“Perhaps not the questions you’re thinking of.” Garrus rumbled, soundly suspiciously amused. “I do have a line to the extranet in the Main Battery and InterspeciesRomance.org has a very thorough and enlightening FAQ section.”
The tension eased out of Jane’s shoulders as she realized she wasn’t going to have to field questions on the subject of Human/Turian of Advanced Sexual Techniques. “So what was your question?” She slipped her hands around his waist and laced her fingers together behind his back.
“I… damn, this is awkward, Shepard.” Garrus’s wasn’t prone to expressing emotion with his mandibles much, especially not after his run in with Tarak’s gunship, but they were twitching now with barely contained nerves. “Am I satisfying you? In bed, I mean.”
Jane blinked. Of all the questions she’d expected, and frankly she’d been anticipating some doozies on the nature of her relationship with Kaiden on the Normandy SR 1, that one hadn’t even been on the list. “Garrus, of course you are. What possibly makes you think that you aren’t?”
“Well, I’d assumed that you’d tell me if you weren’t -ah, you know…”
“No, I don’t know. Speak plainly, soldier.”
Garrus sighed and shifted his weight back and forth from foot to foot. Jane suspected that if she hadn’t been holding onto him, he’d have been pacing back and forth in front of her desk trying to burn off his nervous energy.
“The women in the vids are very… vocal in their appreciation. If it were just one or two, I’d write it off as pure theatrics for the camera but this was all of them, Shepard, every single one. So I went online to see if that was the norm and -spirits, Jane, there is a lot of information about human females and 90% of it is contradictory, but they all tend to agree on what a human woman looks and acts like when she orgasms and… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that. I like to think you’d tell me if I’m doing something wrong, but I’m getting worried here.” He paused and cupped her face in that careful way of his -as though she was made of glass and one wrong move on his part would shatter her forever. “I want this to work. I want us to work. I’m willing to do whatever is necessary, just… throw me a line here. I’m out of my depth.”
Jane winced and hated herself a little for doing it. One of the really good things about being with Garrus is that he had zero preconceived notions about how things were supposed to be between them. She could just be with him and not have to worry about fielding questions about why she didn’t react according to the invisible script in his head. “Garrus… look, about that…” She took a breath. “Maybe you saw this in your reading, but there are some really persistent myths about human female sexuality. They’re probably perpetuated by those damn pornos that Mordin sent you, which were filmed for men by the way.”
“I don’t quite understand the difference.” Garrus admitted. “Turians are more into reality. We don’t shoot pornography for ourselves that much or, if we do, it tends to be the sort of thing you can’t get easily on your own; fetishes and the like. Near as I can tell, what porn we do have is equal opportunity, if you catch my drift.”
“Well, this is going to get into Human/Human sex dynamics. Are you going to be okay with that?” Jane cocked her head. “I know you’re just fine with me personally, but I do get that humans in general might gross you out.”
Garrus looked thoughtful. “It seems to me that we’ve spent an awful lot of time talking about turian customs, but almost no time on how humans do it. I’m finding myself curious about the competition. I think I have a decent grasp on the anatomical differences, but the practical aspects…”
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:28:09 UTC
“I suppose that’s fair.” Jane agreed and tried to suss out the best route for explaining her particular… problem. “Well, part of it may well be biological and I mean ‘biological’ from an evolutionary standpoint. For my kind, a female orgasm isn’t crucial for reproduction whereas a male orgasm is. All women are capable of one, but we ovulate no matter what. Human males only expel semen during climax, so the faster and more efficient a male’s climax was the more likely he was to pass on his genes. Of course, several million years later this means a lot of men have problems with premature ejaculation, but I suppose it was an evolutionary advantage at the time.”
“How premature are we talking here?” Garrus didn’t have eyebrows, but he’d adopted the habit of cocking a ridgeplate at her when he wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.
She made a face back at him. “As in ‘1-2-3, done! Time for a nap.’”
That actually caused Garrus to drop his jaw a little. “… no wonder I can’t read an article on Human/Turian relations without someone going on about ‘turian stamina’. I never realized the bar was set quite that low.”
“Well, that’s not all human men everywhere. There are plenty of human men who are considerate lovers, but there are just as many who aren’t. It isn’t all on them though. To this day there’s no empirical data on female arousal. It’s obvious we do get aroused, it’s just no one can quite agree on how. For human females, well… the majority of sex goes on up here.” She tapped a finger against her temple. “It’s in the head and a lot of it is tied up with emotions, stress levels, hormones, and personal preference. Plus it changes all the time. What does it for one woman won’t even get another one’s attention or something might work one time, but not the next. It’s damned complicated. Some women just… never get there.”
“What, never ever?”
She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, but her heartbeat was elevating with every passing second. “It happens. Some women just enjoy the general stimuli of sex and don’t actually want the big finish. Others just never stumbled across the right combination of stimuli. Either way, it’s kind of a rough situation to be in since climax is so much easier for a human male and a lot of them get their sexual education from those same porno vids you were watching earlier. I’m sure there are plenty of women who enjoy just being hammered away at, but it’s never done much for me.”
“So, when you say ‘some women never get there’ you mean you’ve never gotten there.” Garrus observed in that soft ‘I just now understood something’ voice he used during group brainstorming sessions.
Jane froze and found she had a hard time looking up to meet his eyes. “Damn.” She said at last. “I walked straight into that one.”
“So are we done talking in generalities?” Garrus asked, leaning down to look her in the eye. He didn’t look upset or annoyed or disappointed, just thoughtful still. Oh well, that was better than the alternatives. “Explain to me how it’s ‘rough’ for you.”
“Oh, god, Garrus I don’t want to complain to you about old lovers or bring my emotional baggage into what we’ve got going here. I definitely don’t want you to start thinking that I’m with you because I’ve given up on my own species.” Putting the words together was hard. She’d never even brought this up with Kaidan during their downtime before Illos and she’d thought that if anyone could get her there, it would have been him. Maybe he could have if she’d told him, but she’d been so desperate for some kind of contact that didn’t involve bullets or explosions that she’d eventually just kept her mouth shut and prayed for a miracle -a miracle that never happened. “Being with you is good. I like that I can talk with you about anything and even that we tell horrible jokes in bed. I can relax with you and enjoy myself. I’ve never had to worry that I wasn’t enjoying myself enough.”
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:29:12 UTC
Jane closed her eyes against a montage of memories that ranged from losing her virginity up against the wall of a nightclub bathroom on her first night free of basic to the accusing eyes of her various boyfriends over the years, all of whom had started out thrilled to be dating a decorated servicewoman (and eventually, a hero) but eventually grew sour when she neglected to perform on command. It was always somehow her fault. As though she’d blamed them for failing to be man enough to satisfy the Famous Commander Shepard.
Sometimes she got so damned tired of having to live up to her own reputation.
Maybe some of that exhaustion showed in the slope of her shoulders or the way she held her head. Because Garrus scooped her up without warning; cupping her bottom, jarring her clean out of her dark thoughts, and forcing her to wrap her legs around him for stability. On pure reflex, she threw her arms around his neck and clung for dear life.
“Garrus!” Jane shrieked as he carried her across the room and dumped her onto her own bed so that she fell on her back, laid out before him as he looked down at her. She had very mixed feelings about the little thrill of anticipation that rushed through her lower body. She was Commander Shepard, Bane of the Reapers and Assholes Everywhere. She was a strong, confident, and sassy female who was always in control of the situation. Any display of aggression or dominance on Garrus’s part should have been merely amusing. Instead, it turned her crank in ways she didn’t like to admit to.
He just grinned down at her as he started to shuck his armor. She liked watching him strip, but not out of normal fabric clothing. Something about the hard suit did it for her and she couldn’t even explain what. That was one thing he’d figured out very quickly and took thorough advantage of. “So…” He drawled, deliberately allowing his voice to drop into a deeper register that made his voicebox rumble in a fair approximation of what Jane would call a growl -and, incidentally, never failed to make her toes curl. “Never ever, huh? I do enjoy a good challenge.”
“You…” Damn, her breath was short and getting shorter as Garrus slooooowly peeled off his gloves, followed by his vambraces, then pauldrons, and then his cuirass until he was bare from the waist up. “You’re doing this on purpose!” She accused.
“Doing what?” Garrus asked slyly. “Tell me what I’m doing to you: in detail.”
“You know what you’re doing.”
“I do know. I know exactly what I’m doing.” He agreed. “I think about it all the time; touching you, loving you, marking you. You can’t possibly think that I haven’t noticed that you like it when I strip for you or than my voice gets you hot. I thought about you all afternoon while I watched those vids. I wasn’t really seeing those women on the screen, not even their men. I was seeing you and me. You wanted it, Jane. You were laid out in front of me like a feast and you were begging for me to devour you.”
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:30:30 UTC
He ran his bare talons up her thighs, starting and the knee and working his way up to her hips with a light barely-there pressure that she shouldn’t have even felt but still burned through the tough fabric of her coveralls and made her skin sizzle. “Garrus.” She repeated and -sweet baby Jesus- she was whining.
“Just like that, love. Keep saying my name just like that.” Garrus hitched her hips up against his (and the bastard was still wearing greaves and his codpiece) and pushed her up higher onto the bed so that he could lean over her. “I love that you’ve always used my name. I was never ‘Officer Vakarian’ to you. Now I like hearing it for different reasons. It reminded me that you’re mine… and I’m yours.”
She reached for him, only to have Garrus pin her arms over her head. “Nope. No touching.” He chided. “This time, I’m taking you as far as I can. Maybe we won’t get all the way there, but so help me I’ll take you further than anyone else has before. So you keep your hands right there. This is my show.” His eyes trailed down the length of her body and his mandibles twitched as an idea visibly occurred to him. “You know, I’ve never undressed you all the way. Not even once. You always managed to do it yourself or you keep something on.”
Jane’s heartbeat sounded like thunder in her ears as Garrus found the pressure seam along the side of her coveralls and followed it all the way down her side. There was a second one along the top of her shoulder and Garrus opened that one with his tongue going slowly enough that she could feel the warm wet rasp of it trace her collarbone. He made a pleased sound when she instinctually let her head roll to one side, exposing her throat for him.
Garrus traced one of the tendons in her neck with one talon, taking a moment to enjoy the architecture of her body. He’d never been overly impressed with the soft curvy parts of her body (of which there weren’t many on a career soldier) although he had developed a keen appreciation for her breasts. Instead he could spend hours memorizing the shell of her ear or the bones in her ankles. He had an especial fondness for the graceful bow of her collarbones. Sometimes she could accidentally turn him on just by drumming her fingers on the table. He didn’t allow himself to be distracted however and continued to methodically strip her of every last article of clothing right down to her socks until she was completely nude beneath him and shivering a bit in the cool air.
She was a bit proud of herself for getting through the entire experience without a fuss. Being undressed by a lover made her feel… strangely vulnerable and more importantly nervous. There was always something to conceal or get past in a hurry. Either she hadn’t worn the right underwear or maybe she’d been working in boots all day and didn’t want to ruin the mood with stinky feet.
However, if Garrus gave a rat’s ass about smelly soldier feet or boring cotton granny panties he’d never given any indication. Instead he brushed is thumbs along her rib cage, stopping to dwell fondly on the one permanent scar he’d ever left upon her; a bite mark just below one of her breasts. Turian custom was to leave it at the throat or on a wrist where the mark could be displayed or sometimes enhanced with paint, however the Normandy was a human vessel with a human crew and Garrus would cheerfully hamstring himself before he compromised her authority. Plus the secret scar seemed to really do it for him. Occasionally his hands would stray towards her ribs when they passed each other in the corridor during the workday, tracing the scar through the barrier of her clothes, and he’d smile with heat in his eyes and mouth “Later” at her before going his merry way.
Actually, thinking about that was doing something for her too and she arched against him, seeking some kind of relief for the heat he’d kindled inside of her. Garrus nipped her shoulder and pressed her back down onto the mattress. “Patience.” He crooned. “You can behave yourself for a little while, can’t you?”
She grinned at him with fierce teeth, “Only up until a certain point.”
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:31:41 UTC
“You’re just now realizing this?” She cut off with a moan of anticipation, little more than an exhalation, as he parted her thighs and dropped down to bite at the flesh of her abdomen. She liked the needle-sharp prickle of his teeth normally, but all his ghostly almost-touches had primed her skin for sensation and every nip made her shake all over. When he moved his ministrations to her inner thighs firework lit up all along her spine and for the first time in her entire life, Jane cried out in bed.
Garrus’s only response was a distinct rumble of masculine pleasure as he redoubled his efforts and began to tease her opening with one talon. “I think this is a good time for you to tell me what makes you feel good.”
Jane glared at him, tongue-tied. He had her in a state of nearly-blind rut and now he wanted her to talk? “Garrus, you goddamned tease.” She moaned.
“Oh, I’ll give you whatever you ask for.” He murmured, letting his breath caress her sex. “But you have to ask for it. No points for partial directions. So… ‘hammering away’ at you is right out. Tell me how to fuck you.” Garrus blinked as her hips jerked involuntarily under him. The he gave her a speculative look. “You liked that.”
“You’ve been dirty-talking me for a good half an hour here and have somehow miraculously avoided saying the actual word.” Jane hissed, embarrassed by her body’s mutiny and silently promised to have it keelhauled at the first available opportunity. She trembled when Garrus parted her labia to expose the moist pink interior of her slit. “Garrus!”
“We’ll start slow.” He murmured and pressed his thumb against her clitoris. “Is this still good.”
Jane gulped as a persistent fantasy reoccurred to her, one she’d never quite had the gumption to ask for, but had still wanted anyway. “Ah, lower. Direct stimulation isn’t… it’s too much in a bad way. Touch around it and under.” She writhed as Garrus obediently followed her commands and tried to be all-right with the way he watched her expression with hawk-like intensity. She inhaled and considered wimping out, but she had the sneaking suspicion that he’d just catch her and make her tell him anyway. “Not with your pads. With your… your calluses.”
A startled expression flicked through Garrus’s eyes only to be chased away by something hot and hungry. “You mean like this?” He crooked a finger around the little nub of cartilage and gently massaged her. “You want me to squeeze your clit like the trigger on my rifle? You want me to treat you like a beautiful dangerous tool of destruction meant for my hands alone?”
If he was actually expecting a coherent response, he was due to be disappointed. The best Jane could manage was a breathy “Gu… Garrusss… fffff…” as she rocked urgently against his grip.
“I think that was an affirmative.” He murmured.
“Harder!” was the only other word left in her vocabulary and Garrus obliged.
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:33:40 UTC
The sensations were indescribable, but rapidly piled up inside her and soon ‘not enough’ because ‘too much’ and a familiar tension sprang up in her muscles as she struggled against the pleasure strumming through her body. The battle was brief, but pitched and when Jane came back to herself she was straddling Garrus’s thighs with her arms thrown around him and his free hand cradling her backside. She went limp against him, both winded and somehow confused.
“Are you all right?” Garrus smooth a lock of sweat-damp hair out of her face. “You were close, but then you started fighting it. Was something wrong?”
“I…” Jane blinked, still feeling hazy and inexplicably bereft. “I was?”
Garrus inhaled and let it out slowly. “I think I’m seeing the problem.” He murmured and pushed her back down onto the bed. This time he stood up and took of the last of his armor. It struck a primal chord of pleasure deep inside Jane to see him emerge from his armor fully erect, dark blue, and unplated -to know he’d been just as affected by their foreplay as she was. “Lean back for me, sweetheart. We’re going to try this again. This time, I want you to focus on relaxing no matter what. Trust that I’m taking you somewhere good and let go.”
She understood what he was saying in theory, but in practice it was difficult to forcibly relax herself. Jane was built for tension. She functioned best under eustress and it took a lot of pressure to push over the border into distress. Still, she’d basically agreed (albeit not outloud) to let Garrus take the reins of this sexual encounter and like a good lover she was trying. The idea of pure submission had a certain intoxicating lure, but it was hard.
“I read some new things about your biology.” Garrus remarked, seemingly innocent as he guided his member to her entrance. “It was about where human females have nerve endings and where they don’t. Funnily enough, they all seem to be here…” He rubbed the head of his penis against the region she’d asked him to rub his calluses against, “… and here…” he shifted himself lower and pushed into her slick passageway just a little, only an inch or so. “… but no deeper.” Jane gasped as he deliberately swirled the tip of his cock around insider her, stretching and stimulating her all in one place.
It was hell not being able to touch him, to hold on, but the restraint added something to the entire experience that elevated it from ‘mildly stimulating’ to ‘Holy FUCK!’ Jane twined her fingers into the sheets above her head just to have something to hold onto as she writhed beneath Garrus’s onslaught. All the meanwhile he ran his hands all over her body, seeking out the places where her tension began and stroking them smooth. He murmured soft filthy nothings into her ear as he moved in and out of her passage, going just a little deeper each time, and deliberately doing everything in his power to drive her completely wild.
This time she managed to ride the waves of pleasure that rippled through her and little by little she lost conscious control of her body. She bucked against Garrus, grinding her clit up against the plates at the base of his cock, urging him deeper, begging … no, pleading for more. A new wholly unfamiliar sensation started to build in uncomfortably close proximity to her bladder. All her senses shrieked at her that something was about to happen, but she wasn’t entirely sure it was the thing she’d been going for.
“G-garrus, slow down… I, I think I’m going to…” She gasped as the sensation increased. “I can’t!”
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:35:54 UTC
“You can.” He groaned. “Whatever it is your body wants to do, just let it happen. It’s me, love. Let go.”
Then it hit like miniature timed explosions igniting down her spine one after the other. Liquid heat flooded her veins and washed away whatever coherent thought she had left. Jane had a vague notion of screaming Garrus’s name before a dark tide washed over her and dragged her into blissful oblivion.
She came to (Seconds? Minutes? Hours?) later curled up against Garrus’s side, head pillowed on his shoulder, and wrapped up in a sheet. Garrus was lying on his back for once with his knees bent up to accommodate his spurs.
“You finally came to. I was starting to wonder if I’d have to call Medbay.” He chuckled.
“Mmmm…” Jane felt like her bones were made out of pudding and she was somewhat disinclined to talk, but that deserved a reply. “Lucky you. Now you don’t have to explain to Dr. Chakwas exactly what it was you were doing that broke your Commander.”
“I almost hope someone does ask.” Garrus mused. “I feel like I should brag about this. I’ve never made a woman to literally black out before. I win at everything forever.”
Jane elbowed him sleepily. “No bragging.” She broke on a yawn. “Oh, damn, no wonder men always want a nap after this. I don’t think I have a tense muscle in my entire body. Damn, ten years of sexual activity and when I finally have an orgasm, it’s with a Turian. Does this mean that I’m the one with the alien fetish?”
Garrus snorted. “It does not.”
“Well, what does it mean, O Great Sage of Sexual Wisdom?” Jane elbowed him lightly and laughed as he pulled her onto him, positioning him so she straddled his hips.
“It means in ten years a lot of men all dropped the same ball and completely failed to notice the fact that you operate under a kiloton of pressure at all times and that perhaps you might not be able to have fun in bed unless someone took the load off for you. That includes me.” He told her somewhat more seriously. “I’m sorry, Jane, I’d guessed that you had trouble cutting loose, but I didn’t pay close enough attention to realize just how bad it was. Maybe if I’d been looking more closely we’d have figured this out sooner.”
Put like that, it seemed like a blazingly obvious answer to Jane as well… but it was a solution that had never occurred to her. “Garrus, don’t do that. You picked up on the solution to a problem even I didn’t understand. I always just sort of assumed there was… well, something wrong with me.” She ran her hands up and down along the ridge on his chest were a human solar plexus would have been. He found it soothing for reasons that didn’t quite make sense to Jane, but she was still willing to exploit it. “It took you two tries once you knew. I was with a few men who didn’t manage it after a couple of months. I think you still win out.”
“Good to know.” He paused and gave her a feral little grin. “So, that’s one human sex myth debunked. Want to see if we’re two for two?”
Jane blinked. “What other sex myths are there?” She asked warily.
“Well, there are a few I have my eye on.” He growled. “How about multiple orgasms this time?”
Much later, it occurred to Jane that she had inadvertently created a monster… but only much, much later.
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 04:37:54 UTC
Authoranon’s note: Femshep has control issues! Raise your hand if you’re surprised.
I borrowed a lot of Femshep’s hang-ups from conversations I’ve had with friends. There seems to be a ridiculous amount of pressure placed on a woman to be moved to fits of pornographic ecstasy if a guy so much as dangles his winky at her and it really annoys me. Almost every woman I’ve talked to who has trouble getting off always feels that there’s something secretly wrong with her, which is complete bullcrap as far as I’m concerned.
Mind you, the message of this fic is not that a woman’s orgasm rest solely on the prowess and/or observation skills of her partner (mind you, the observation skills HELP). I don’t believe that anymore than I believe in that ‘a woman is responsible for her own orgasm’ nonsense. People are different and need different things. Some women can do it on their own, some women need a partner. Some women need a partner, but it has to be the RIGHT partner. It really varies. The important thing is to keep trying until something (or someone!) works.
I recently stumbled into the MassEffect fandom and found myself with a severe craving for fanfic. I've been reading a LOT on Masskink and I wanted to finally do a fill in order to give back.
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 12 2011, 10:28:18 UTC
This was awesome, really mature and SO GODDAMN HOT I DIED. Wonderfully written, and Garrus dirty-talking... Holy God. I think both my ovaries blew up.
And also, I love the way you write out the problem, it was a wonderfull read, especially after all of the "garrus waves his winky in front of Shep and she orgasms like never before" that plague fanfiction everywhere.
lol OP again
anonymous
August 13 2011, 03:52:35 UTC
Ilu. I totally agree with you on your sentiments, and yes, I am one of those girlies who feel a bit hopeless about being able to come, much less with a partner. -__-
Re: If At First You Don't Succeed...
anonymous
August 14 2011, 19:18:00 UTC
Thank you. Others posting comments already covered this idea... but being similar to femShep as she was in this well-written moving story myself... I too hope that there is a Garrus out there somewhere for me. This story is so well-done and so gentle with femShep's difficulty rather than putting it all on her. Garrus is wonderfully funny and determined in the best possible way. I like the hot 'n' heavy moments of much Garrus fic- but this one really was personal and moving.
She reminded herself that giving the Illusive Man the metaphorical bird and blowing the Collector Base had been the correct choice, but it was hard to bear that in mind when the repair bills were piling up and people somehow still expected her to drop everything and pop over to the opposite end of the galaxy to investigate an Elvis sighting or whatever.
‘At least the Elvis sightings pay something.’ Jane shut her personal terminal shut and pushed away from her desk just as the doors to her cabin hissed open. She turned to greet Garrus with a smile (a tired smile, but it was the best she could do). “For once you didn’t knock.” She teased him.
“Yes, well, I’m learning.” He ducked down to butt his forehead gently against hers and lingered there for a brief nuzzle. “Am I interrupting anything?”
“Yes, but it’s paperwork -which you are hereby ordered to interrupt at every available opportunity.” She replied and briefly checked the time on her omnitool. She blinked and glanced up at him. “Your shift just ended five minutes ago. Did you come straight up here?” She would have expected him to at least make a brief stopover in the mess hall. Thanks to the state of the Normandy, duty shifts had been extended to a full ten hours. Mess Sergeant Gardner did his best to make sure everyone got fed and rested, but there was a lot to do and the Normandy was pretty much a sitting duck until then.
Garrus shifted uncomfortably. “Ah, yes… well, something came up during my shift and I wanted to discuss it with you.”
Jane couldn’t help the grin that broke out over her face. “Oh, did it now?” She reached up and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “I like the sound of that.”
“Ah…? Oh.” Garrus snorted with amusement as he caught his own unintentional innuendo. “You filthy, filthy minded woman. You’re worse than I am. How do I resist your charms?”
“That’s easy: you don’t.” She replied and nipped the edge of his un-marred mandible. They had learned through some trial and error that, while Garrus generally enjoyed it when she stroked his scars with her fingertips, there was some nerve damage on that side that made biting inadvisable. Everywhere else was fair game though.
A faint tremor ran through Garrus as she continued to nibble her way down the line of his jaw and he bodily lifted her out of her chair to seat her on the edge of her desk, a position that was no doubt easier on his back. Jane wrapped her legs around his waist and was just starting to reach for the pressure seal on his cuirass when Garrus caught her hands and stilled them. “Just… wait for a little bit, Jane? This is what I wanted to talk about.”
Jane felt herself deflate a little bit with disappointment, but reminded herself that he hadn’t actually turned her down and had only requested a brief delay. Still, when Garrus wanted to talk it generally precluded more recreational activities. Turians were creatures with single-track minds. So she unhooked her legs from around him and slid down to her feet. “So, when you said you had something to discuss then you actually have something to discuss.”
“Sorry, Shepard, it wasn’t innuendo this time.” Garrus didn’t release his hold on her shoulders, which was a hopeful sign that he hadn’t come upstairs to talk about the damn Thanix cannon. He paused, visibly collecting himself. “So… earlier today I ended up with some free time while I waited on a diagnostic report to compile. So I watched a few of those vids. You know, the uh… the ones from Mordin.”
Oh, dear god. Jane found herself wishing suddenly that Garrus really had come up with some sort of pressing mechanical issue that could only be discussed in their off-hours. It would have been less painful. She fought to keep her expression open, calm, and non-judgmental. “So. You have questions then?” She asked carefully.
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The tension eased out of Jane’s shoulders as she realized she wasn’t going to have to field questions on the subject of Human/Turian of Advanced Sexual Techniques. “So what was your question?” She slipped her hands around his waist and laced her fingers together behind his back.
“I… damn, this is awkward, Shepard.” Garrus’s wasn’t prone to expressing emotion with his mandibles much, especially not after his run in with Tarak’s gunship, but they were twitching now with barely contained nerves. “Am I satisfying you? In bed, I mean.”
Jane blinked. Of all the questions she’d expected, and frankly she’d been anticipating some doozies on the nature of her relationship with Kaiden on the Normandy SR 1, that one hadn’t even been on the list. “Garrus, of course you are. What possibly makes you think that you aren’t?”
“Well, I’d assumed that you’d tell me if you weren’t -ah, you know…”
“No, I don’t know. Speak plainly, soldier.”
Garrus sighed and shifted his weight back and forth from foot to foot. Jane suspected that if she hadn’t been holding onto him, he’d have been pacing back and forth in front of her desk trying to burn off his nervous energy.
“The women in the vids are very… vocal in their appreciation. If it were just one or two, I’d write it off as pure theatrics for the camera but this was all of them, Shepard, every single one. So I went online to see if that was the norm and -spirits, Jane, there is a lot of information about human females and 90% of it is contradictory, but they all tend to agree on what a human woman looks and acts like when she orgasms and… I don’t think I’ve ever seen you do that. I like to think you’d tell me if I’m doing something wrong, but I’m getting worried here.” He paused and cupped her face in that careful way of his -as though she was made of glass and one wrong move on his part would shatter her forever. “I want this to work. I want us to work. I’m willing to do whatever is necessary, just… throw me a line here. I’m out of my depth.”
Jane winced and hated herself a little for doing it. One of the really good things about being with Garrus is that he had zero preconceived notions about how things were supposed to be between them. She could just be with him and not have to worry about fielding questions about why she didn’t react according to the invisible script in his head. “Garrus… look, about that…” She took a breath. “Maybe you saw this in your reading, but there are some really persistent myths about human female sexuality. They’re probably perpetuated by those damn pornos that Mordin sent you, which were filmed for men by the way.”
“I don’t quite understand the difference.” Garrus admitted. “Turians are more into reality. We don’t shoot pornography for ourselves that much or, if we do, it tends to be the sort of thing you can’t get easily on your own; fetishes and the like. Near as I can tell, what porn we do have is equal opportunity, if you catch my drift.”
“Well, this is going to get into Human/Human sex dynamics. Are you going to be okay with that?” Jane cocked her head. “I know you’re just fine with me personally, but I do get that humans in general might gross you out.”
Garrus looked thoughtful. “It seems to me that we’ve spent an awful lot of time talking about turian customs, but almost no time on how humans do it. I’m finding myself curious about the competition. I think I have a decent grasp on the anatomical differences, but the practical aspects…”
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“How premature are we talking here?” Garrus didn’t have eyebrows, but he’d adopted the habit of cocking a ridgeplate at her when he wasn’t sure if she was joking or not.
She made a face back at him. “As in ‘1-2-3, done! Time for a nap.’”
That actually caused Garrus to drop his jaw a little. “… no wonder I can’t read an article on Human/Turian relations without someone going on about ‘turian stamina’. I never realized the bar was set quite that low.”
“Well, that’s not all human men everywhere. There are plenty of human men who are considerate lovers, but there are just as many who aren’t. It isn’t all on them though. To this day there’s no empirical data on female arousal. It’s obvious we do get aroused, it’s just no one can quite agree on how. For human females, well… the majority of sex goes on up here.” She tapped a finger against her temple. “It’s in the head and a lot of it is tied up with emotions, stress levels, hormones, and personal preference. Plus it changes all the time. What does it for one woman won’t even get another one’s attention or something might work one time, but not the next. It’s damned complicated. Some women just… never get there.”
“What, never ever?”
She shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant, but her heartbeat was elevating with every passing second. “It happens. Some women just enjoy the general stimuli of sex and don’t actually want the big finish. Others just never stumbled across the right combination of stimuli. Either way, it’s kind of a rough situation to be in since climax is so much easier for a human male and a lot of them get their sexual education from those same porno vids you were watching earlier. I’m sure there are plenty of women who enjoy just being hammered away at, but it’s never done much for me.”
“So, when you say ‘some women never get there’ you mean you’ve never gotten there.” Garrus observed in that soft ‘I just now understood something’ voice he used during group brainstorming sessions.
Jane froze and found she had a hard time looking up to meet his eyes. “Damn.” She said at last. “I walked straight into that one.”
“So are we done talking in generalities?” Garrus asked, leaning down to look her in the eye. He didn’t look upset or annoyed or disappointed, just thoughtful still. Oh well, that was better than the alternatives. “Explain to me how it’s ‘rough’ for you.”
“Oh, god, Garrus I don’t want to complain to you about old lovers or bring my emotional baggage into what we’ve got going here. I definitely don’t want you to start thinking that I’m with you because I’ve given up on my own species.” Putting the words together was hard. She’d never even brought this up with Kaidan during their downtime before Illos and she’d thought that if anyone could get her there, it would have been him. Maybe he could have if she’d told him, but she’d been so desperate for some kind of contact that didn’t involve bullets or explosions that she’d eventually just kept her mouth shut and prayed for a miracle -a miracle that never happened. “Being with you is good. I like that I can talk with you about anything and even that we tell horrible jokes in bed. I can relax with you and enjoy myself. I’ve never had to worry that I wasn’t enjoying myself enough.”
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Sometimes she got so damned tired of having to live up to her own reputation.
Maybe some of that exhaustion showed in the slope of her shoulders or the way she held her head. Because Garrus scooped her up without warning; cupping her bottom, jarring her clean out of her dark thoughts, and forcing her to wrap her legs around him for stability. On pure reflex, she threw her arms around his neck and clung for dear life.
“Garrus!” Jane shrieked as he carried her across the room and dumped her onto her own bed so that she fell on her back, laid out before him as he looked down at her. She had very mixed feelings about the little thrill of anticipation that rushed through her lower body. She was Commander Shepard, Bane of the Reapers and Assholes Everywhere. She was a strong, confident, and sassy female who was always in control of the situation. Any display of aggression or dominance on Garrus’s part should have been merely amusing. Instead, it turned her crank in ways she didn’t like to admit to.
He just grinned down at her as he started to shuck his armor. She liked watching him strip, but not out of normal fabric clothing. Something about the hard suit did it for her and she couldn’t even explain what. That was one thing he’d figured out very quickly and took thorough advantage of. “So…” He drawled, deliberately allowing his voice to drop into a deeper register that made his voicebox rumble in a fair approximation of what Jane would call a growl -and, incidentally, never failed to make her toes curl. “Never ever, huh? I do enjoy a good challenge.”
“You…” Damn, her breath was short and getting shorter as Garrus slooooowly peeled off his gloves, followed by his vambraces, then pauldrons, and then his cuirass until he was bare from the waist up. “You’re doing this on purpose!” She accused.
“Doing what?” Garrus asked slyly. “Tell me what I’m doing to you: in detail.”
“You know what you’re doing.”
“I do know. I know exactly what I’m doing.” He agreed. “I think about it all the time; touching you, loving you, marking you. You can’t possibly think that I haven’t noticed that you like it when I strip for you or than my voice gets you hot. I thought about you all afternoon while I watched those vids. I wasn’t really seeing those women on the screen, not even their men. I was seeing you and me. You wanted it, Jane. You were laid out in front of me like a feast and you were begging for me to devour you.”
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“Just like that, love. Keep saying my name just like that.” Garrus hitched her hips up against his (and the bastard was still wearing greaves and his codpiece) and pushed her up higher onto the bed so that he could lean over her. “I love that you’ve always used my name. I was never ‘Officer Vakarian’ to you. Now I like hearing it for different reasons. It reminded me that you’re mine… and I’m yours.”
She reached for him, only to have Garrus pin her arms over her head. “Nope. No touching.” He chided. “This time, I’m taking you as far as I can. Maybe we won’t get all the way there, but so help me I’ll take you further than anyone else has before. So you keep your hands right there. This is my show.” His eyes trailed down the length of her body and his mandibles twitched as an idea visibly occurred to him. “You know, I’ve never undressed you all the way. Not even once. You always managed to do it yourself or you keep something on.”
Jane’s heartbeat sounded like thunder in her ears as Garrus found the pressure seam along the side of her coveralls and followed it all the way down her side. There was a second one along the top of her shoulder and Garrus opened that one with his tongue going slowly enough that she could feel the warm wet rasp of it trace her collarbone. He made a pleased sound when she instinctually let her head roll to one side, exposing her throat for him.
Garrus traced one of the tendons in her neck with one talon, taking a moment to enjoy the architecture of her body. He’d never been overly impressed with the soft curvy parts of her body (of which there weren’t many on a career soldier) although he had developed a keen appreciation for her breasts. Instead he could spend hours memorizing the shell of her ear or the bones in her ankles. He had an especial fondness for the graceful bow of her collarbones. Sometimes she could accidentally turn him on just by drumming her fingers on the table. He didn’t allow himself to be distracted however and continued to methodically strip her of every last article of clothing right down to her socks until she was completely nude beneath him and shivering a bit in the cool air.
She was a bit proud of herself for getting through the entire experience without a fuss. Being undressed by a lover made her feel… strangely vulnerable and more importantly nervous. There was always something to conceal or get past in a hurry. Either she hadn’t worn the right underwear or maybe she’d been working in boots all day and didn’t want to ruin the mood with stinky feet.
However, if Garrus gave a rat’s ass about smelly soldier feet or boring cotton granny panties he’d never given any indication. Instead he brushed is thumbs along her rib cage, stopping to dwell fondly on the one permanent scar he’d ever left upon her; a bite mark just below one of her breasts. Turian custom was to leave it at the throat or on a wrist where the mark could be displayed or sometimes enhanced with paint, however the Normandy was a human vessel with a human crew and Garrus would cheerfully hamstring himself before he compromised her authority. Plus the secret scar seemed to really do it for him. Occasionally his hands would stray towards her ribs when they passed each other in the corridor during the workday, tracing the scar through the barrier of her clothes, and he’d smile with heat in his eyes and mouth “Later” at her before going his merry way.
Actually, thinking about that was doing something for her too and she arched against him, seeking some kind of relief for the heat he’d kindled inside of her. Garrus nipped her shoulder and pressed her back down onto the mattress. “Patience.” He crooned. “You can behave yourself for a little while, can’t you?”
She grinned at him with fierce teeth, “Only up until a certain point.”
He just laughed and said “Greedy.”
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Garrus’s only response was a distinct rumble of masculine pleasure as he redoubled his efforts and began to tease her opening with one talon. “I think this is a good time for you to tell me what makes you feel good.”
Jane glared at him, tongue-tied. He had her in a state of nearly-blind rut and now he wanted her to talk? “Garrus, you goddamned tease.” She moaned.
“Oh, I’ll give you whatever you ask for.” He murmured, letting his breath caress her sex. “But you have to ask for it. No points for partial directions. So… ‘hammering away’ at you is right out. Tell me how to fuck you.” Garrus blinked as her hips jerked involuntarily under him. The he gave her a speculative look. “You liked that.”
“You’ve been dirty-talking me for a good half an hour here and have somehow miraculously avoided saying the actual word.” Jane hissed, embarrassed by her body’s mutiny and silently promised to have it keelhauled at the first available opportunity. She trembled when Garrus parted her labia to expose the moist pink interior of her slit. “Garrus!”
“We’ll start slow.” He murmured and pressed his thumb against her clitoris. “Is this still good.”
Jane gulped as a persistent fantasy reoccurred to her, one she’d never quite had the gumption to ask for, but had still wanted anyway. “Ah, lower. Direct stimulation isn’t… it’s too much in a bad way. Touch around it and under.” She writhed as Garrus obediently followed her commands and tried to be all-right with the way he watched her expression with hawk-like intensity. She inhaled and considered wimping out, but she had the sneaking suspicion that he’d just catch her and make her tell him anyway. “Not with your pads. With your… your calluses.”
A startled expression flicked through Garrus’s eyes only to be chased away by something hot and hungry. “You mean like this?” He crooked a finger around the little nub of cartilage and gently massaged her. “You want me to squeeze your clit like the trigger on my rifle? You want me to treat you like a beautiful dangerous tool of destruction meant for my hands alone?”
If he was actually expecting a coherent response, he was due to be disappointed. The best Jane could manage was a breathy “Gu… Garrusss… fffff…” as she rocked urgently against his grip.
“I think that was an affirmative.” He murmured.
“Harder!” was the only other word left in her vocabulary and Garrus obliged.
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“Are you all right?” Garrus smooth a lock of sweat-damp hair out of her face. “You were close, but then you started fighting it. Was something wrong?”
“I…” Jane blinked, still feeling hazy and inexplicably bereft. “I was?”
Garrus inhaled and let it out slowly. “I think I’m seeing the problem.” He murmured and pushed her back down onto the bed. This time he stood up and took of the last of his armor. It struck a primal chord of pleasure deep inside Jane to see him emerge from his armor fully erect, dark blue, and unplated -to know he’d been just as affected by their foreplay as she was. “Lean back for me, sweetheart. We’re going to try this again. This time, I want you to focus on relaxing no matter what. Trust that I’m taking you somewhere good and let go.”
She understood what he was saying in theory, but in practice it was difficult to forcibly relax herself. Jane was built for tension. She functioned best under eustress and it took a lot of pressure to push over the border into distress. Still, she’d basically agreed (albeit not outloud) to let Garrus take the reins of this sexual encounter and like a good lover she was trying. The idea of pure submission had a certain intoxicating lure, but it was hard.
“I read some new things about your biology.” Garrus remarked, seemingly innocent as he guided his member to her entrance. “It was about where human females have nerve endings and where they don’t. Funnily enough, they all seem to be here…” He rubbed the head of his penis against the region she’d asked him to rub his calluses against, “… and here…” he shifted himself lower and pushed into her slick passageway just a little, only an inch or so. “… but no deeper.” Jane gasped as he deliberately swirled the tip of his cock around insider her, stretching and stimulating her all in one place.
It was hell not being able to touch him, to hold on, but the restraint added something to the entire experience that elevated it from ‘mildly stimulating’ to ‘Holy FUCK!’ Jane twined her fingers into the sheets above her head just to have something to hold onto as she writhed beneath Garrus’s onslaught. All the meanwhile he ran his hands all over her body, seeking out the places where her tension began and stroking them smooth. He murmured soft filthy nothings into her ear as he moved in and out of her passage, going just a little deeper each time, and deliberately doing everything in his power to drive her completely wild.
This time she managed to ride the waves of pleasure that rippled through her and little by little she lost conscious control of her body. She bucked against Garrus, grinding her clit up against the plates at the base of his cock, urging him deeper, begging … no, pleading for more. A new wholly unfamiliar sensation started to build in uncomfortably close proximity to her bladder. All her senses shrieked at her that something was about to happen, but she wasn’t entirely sure it was the thing she’d been going for.
“G-garrus, slow down… I, I think I’m going to…” She gasped as the sensation increased. “I can’t!”
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Then it hit like miniature timed explosions igniting down her spine one after the other. Liquid heat flooded her veins and washed away whatever coherent thought she had left. Jane had a vague notion of screaming Garrus’s name before a dark tide washed over her and dragged her into blissful oblivion.
She came to (Seconds? Minutes? Hours?) later curled up against Garrus’s side, head pillowed on his shoulder, and wrapped up in a sheet. Garrus was lying on his back for once with his knees bent up to accommodate his spurs.
“You finally came to. I was starting to wonder if I’d have to call Medbay.” He chuckled.
“Mmmm…” Jane felt like her bones were made out of pudding and she was somewhat disinclined to talk, but that deserved a reply. “Lucky you. Now you don’t have to explain to Dr. Chakwas exactly what it was you were doing that broke your Commander.”
“I almost hope someone does ask.” Garrus mused. “I feel like I should brag about this. I’ve never made a woman to literally black out before. I win at everything forever.”
Jane elbowed him sleepily. “No bragging.” She broke on a yawn. “Oh, damn, no wonder men always want a nap after this. I don’t think I have a tense muscle in my entire body. Damn, ten years of sexual activity and when I finally have an orgasm, it’s with a Turian. Does this mean that I’m the one with the alien fetish?”
Garrus snorted. “It does not.”
“Well, what does it mean, O Great Sage of Sexual Wisdom?” Jane elbowed him lightly and laughed as he pulled her onto him, positioning him so she straddled his hips.
“It means in ten years a lot of men all dropped the same ball and completely failed to notice the fact that you operate under a kiloton of pressure at all times and that perhaps you might not be able to have fun in bed unless someone took the load off for you. That includes me.” He told her somewhat more seriously. “I’m sorry, Jane, I’d guessed that you had trouble cutting loose, but I didn’t pay close enough attention to realize just how bad it was. Maybe if I’d been looking more closely we’d have figured this out sooner.”
Put like that, it seemed like a blazingly obvious answer to Jane as well… but it was a solution that had never occurred to her. “Garrus, don’t do that. You picked up on the solution to a problem even I didn’t understand. I always just sort of assumed there was… well, something wrong with me.” She ran her hands up and down along the ridge on his chest were a human solar plexus would have been. He found it soothing for reasons that didn’t quite make sense to Jane, but she was still willing to exploit it. “It took you two tries once you knew. I was with a few men who didn’t manage it after a couple of months. I think you still win out.”
“Good to know.” He paused and gave her a feral little grin. “So, that’s one human sex myth debunked. Want to see if we’re two for two?”
Jane blinked. “What other sex myths are there?” She asked warily.
“Well, there are a few I have my eye on.” He growled. “How about multiple orgasms this time?”
Much later, it occurred to Jane that she had inadvertently created a monster… but only much, much later.
-Fin
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I borrowed a lot of Femshep’s hang-ups from conversations I’ve had with friends. There seems to be a ridiculous amount of pressure placed on a woman to be moved to fits of pornographic ecstasy if a guy so much as dangles his winky at her and it really annoys me. Almost every woman I’ve talked to who has trouble getting off always feels that there’s something secretly wrong with her, which is complete bullcrap as far as I’m concerned.
Mind you, the message of this fic is not that a woman’s orgasm rest solely on the prowess and/or observation skills of her partner (mind you, the observation skills HELP). I don’t believe that anymore than I believe in that ‘a woman is responsible for her own orgasm’ nonsense. People are different and need different things. Some women can do it on their own, some women need a partner. Some women need a partner, but it has to be the RIGHT partner. It really varies. The important thing is to keep trying until something (or someone!) works.
I recently stumbled into the MassEffect fandom and found myself with a severe craving for fanfic. I've been reading a LOT on Masskink and I wanted to finally do a fill in order to give back.
Thanks everybody!!!!
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Thank you AuthorAnon for the amazing story and your insightful PSA. The more you know!
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And also, I love the way you write out the problem, it was a wonderfull read, especially after all of the "garrus waves his winky in front of Shep and she orgasms like never before" that plague fanfiction everywhere.
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Oh and I think I speak for alot of people here when I say, Please write more!
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I will keep trying though! :D
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