I’m Commander F*cking Shepard: The App
anonymous
June 25 2011, 18:33:26 UTC
Several crewmen snigger and run away from Shepard as if fearing her laser eyes will become real. Garrus achieves another high score. By then everyone has cleared out of the mess hall to find duties to attend to while their Commander tries to decide if she’s going to punch Garrus or ask for a copy of the app. She watches him play for a few more minutes then lazily leans over his shoulder to wrap her arms around his neck. His eyes flicker briefly toward her, then back to the game’s lights and explosions. Mini-Shepard gets a power up and her hair bursts into mighty red flames before she rockets around the screen propelled by what looks like a jet of rainbows from her boots.
“Make her get naked again,” says Shepard against the turian’s ear.
Garrus misses a power up and mini-Shepard crashes into a wall and screams, indignantly, “What the hell is your problem!?” He glances nervously at the real Shepard and continues the level. Ha. Shepard casually tightens her arms around the turian and ducks her head down to the side of his neck, brushing her lips against the underside of his jaw and causing mini-Shepard to miss a crucial headbutt and go hurdling into another wall with a shriek of rage.
“Oops,” says Shepard,
“You’re making me kill you.”
“Awww, look at all the fucks I give.” Shepard leans down and gently bites at Garrus’ throat, making him jerk and mini-Shepard slams into a final wall and knocks herself senseless. Then, instead of dying, she gets up and points at the player through the screen and yells, “Fuck you! I should go… KICK ASS!” Then she bursts into butterflies and flies away while the GAME OVER panel fills the holo screen. Shepard purrs a little bit, nuzzling the turian’s cheek. “Look at that! Not a single fuck given.”
She kisses him and walks off to find Legion and ask it for a free download.
Re: I’m Commander F*cking Shepard: The App
anonymous
June 28 2011, 03:44:23 UTC
Very loud LOLz... the housmates are all 0_o “Awww, look at all the fucks I give.” Well... she might give Garrus one. After a performance like that. Mjust sayin'.
“Make her get naked again,” says Shepard against the turian’s ear.
Garrus misses a power up and mini-Shepard crashes into a wall and screams, indignantly, “What the hell is your problem!?” He glances nervously at the real Shepard and continues the level. Ha. Shepard casually tightens her arms around the turian and ducks her head down to the side of his neck, brushing her lips against the underside of his jaw and causing mini-Shepard to miss a crucial headbutt and go hurdling into another wall with a shriek of rage.
“Oops,” says Shepard,
“You’re making me kill you.”
“Awww, look at all the fucks I give.” Shepard leans down and gently bites at Garrus’ throat, making him jerk and mini-Shepard slams into a final wall and knocks herself senseless. Then, instead of dying, she gets up and points at the player through the screen and yells, “Fuck you! I should go… KICK ASS!” Then she bursts into butterflies and flies away while the GAME OVER panel fills the holo screen. Shepard purrs a little bit, nuzzling the turian’s cheek. “Look at that! Not a single fuck given.”
She kisses him and walks off to find Legion and ask it for a free download.
Reply
Now to wonder if Shepard can beat Garrus' scores playing herself...
Reply
Reply
Reply
“Awww, look at all the fucks I give.”
Well... she might give Garrus one. After a performance like that. Mjust sayin'.
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment