Floodgates (4/?)
anonymous
June 13 2011, 20:50:19 UTC
K: Look, this is the wrong way to tell you. This needs to be done over a call. Saying it over a chat is cheap, and I’m not going to wait for you to get here. I’ve already put it off way too long.
T: We’re already leaving batarian territory. I’ve voiced a wish to return to the Citadel.
K: Call first. Please.
T: Can I ask why?
K: You just did anyway.
K: Look, it’s something I need to gear myself up for.
T: A matter of personal comfort.
K: Now you’ve got it.
T: I should be able to make that call in a day or two.
K: Thank you.
T: Kolyat?
K: Yes?
T: How are you?
K: I feel like I’m walking into the ocean.
T: You’re in danger?
K: Okay, let me rephrase. It feels like I’m walking someone else into the ocean. Before you ask, I don’t mean you.
T: You aren’t endangering anyone. You aren’t hunting anyone. I know you’ve put those ideas behind you. What is it?
K: Well…at least you’re not thinking the worst of me.
K: Please, don’t try to guess it.
T: You’re concerned about disappointing me?
K: I never said that.
K: I need to go. I’m still ‘technically’ on-duty.
T: Of course. I’ll look into booking the communication’s room.
K: Could you try for a time after sixteen-hundred hours?
T: If that’s convenient for you, then yes. I’ll let you know as soon as possible. Your details haven’t changed?
K: Still the same. Thank you.
T: I-
T: Please take care of yourself in the meantime, Kolyat.
K: You’re the one in batarian space.
T: I’ve no intention of dying any more rapidly than I must.
K: Good plan.
1332 [LOGOUT] Kolyat
1332 [LOGOUT] Thane
x
The school was starting to give Vasaed more to work on at home. Half of it was aptitude tests: they wanted to put him in the next grade up. “Is that a good thing?” he wanted to know as he sat in the middle of the apartment with all his work scattered on the floor around him.
Kolyat sat on the couch close by, scrolling through his datapad: checking for messages, reading the Citadel Newsnet updates, looking at the currents state of his academy evaluation. These were things he did instinctively now. There was another tab open, where he was constantly jotting something down before deleting it all over again, then repeating the process over. That’s why his reply to his son was distracted at best. “Yeah, it’s usually a good thing. It means that your teachers think you’re really smart. They don’t want you to get bored in class, so they put you in the next grade.”
“My friends are smart too.”
“But you’re the smartest.” Kolyat looked up. “But, uh…you probably shouldn’t say that to your friends. Telling people that you’re smarter than them usually makes them mad.”
“So I shouldn’t tell them about going up a grade?”
“You can say it like that. I guess it’s all about how you word it.” He dropped the data pad on the couch, trying to avoid putting it through the rip in the leather. He’d probably never see it again if it went down there and even if it was a scratched, dented obsolete model that should’ve been replaced months ago, it still worked. “People usually don’t like it when someone says ‘I’m smarter than you’. It applies to a lot of things, a lot of aptitudes. No one likes being left behind.”
“Oh. It affects their self-esteem.”
“Right.”
“So will my friends feel left behind?”
“Maybe a little bit, but you’re not the type of person to make them really feel like they’re being left behind. So they might be a bit jealous, but they won’t blame you. Real friends accept that their friends are sometimes better at things than they are.”
“Like how you’re better at Skyllian Five than Officer Lang.”
“…I’ve never played Skyllian anywhere near you. How do you know about that?”
Floodgates (5/?)
anonymous
June 13 2011, 20:51:12 UTC
“You took a vid call when I was still eating dinner. Officer Lang started to call you a lucky son of something, but you cancelled the audio before he could finish.”
“Uh, look…it’s a similar idea, but being really smart is different to being good at a game. Being smart is a useful thing.”
“Yeah.”
Kolyat paused a moment, then got up to go sit on the floor next to his son. “You don’t want to do it? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to. I don’t want to leave my friends behind.”
“Hey, you’ll still see them. You’ll just have new classes to make friends in, too.”
“I suppose.” Vasaed was only half-listening by this point. He was back into his work.
At least Kolyat never had to wonder what he got up to so long as there were still questions left to answer. He grinned to himself and got back up, patting Vasaed on the shoulder as he went, to sit back on the couch. Retrieving the data pad, he scanned the Newsnet again before closing the tab altogether. That just brought back the note he’d been tapping out. He took a long, deep breath and closed his eyes, letting his head drop onto the back of the seat. “Vasaed?”
“Dad?”
That brought a smile to his face. “Can you put that down for a minute? There’s something I want to ask you about.”
x
Text flashed across the screen.
CBM DE25 Connected: 1845 Transmission Log Thank you for using Tyriel Advanced (TACC)!
The picture that replaced it was terrible, but considering the distance and the lousy screen he was taking the call on, Kolyat wasn’t surprised in the least. He was just glad it was working. He wondered if Thane - or the amorphous blob he supposed was Thane - could see him any better or if this fuzzy picture was going both ways. Probably not. It didn’t really matter. The audio feed was pretty poor, but it worked - that was the thing that really mattered.
“Kolyat, it’s good to-“
“Wait.” A click behind him made him frown and turn. He’d put Vasaed to bed hours ago, made sure he was fast asleep. There were ways to do this. Even he wasn’t cruel enough to just hold up the kid in range of the call and say ‘hey, guess who’s spawned’. Having his son wandering around in the background would make all this preparing useless, though he didn’t feel prepared despite it. He paused before leaning to look around the corner, down the hallway, but Vasaed’s door was still closed. “Sorry, I thought I heard something.”
The amorphous blob shifted on its feet. “I thought you lived alone.”
No point in delaying it. Kolyat straightened himself up and tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach. “Yeah, I did. That was over a year ago.”
“Your circumstances have changed?”
“Things changed only a few months after you left here.”
“In what resp-?”
“Are you coming to the Citadel now?” Kolyat blurted.
If he focused hard, he could tell himself that he saw some degree of surprise in Thane’s expression. The half-formed visual of his face shifted - either his brows were raised or he was developing an ambiguous growth on his forehead rapidly. “I understand that is Commander Shepard’s intention. He insists on calling it a personal favour to me. Quietly, I believe he simply enjoys Dark Star Lounge more than most would consider appropriate for a Spectre.”
Kolyat tried not to grin. “That’s some company you keep.”
“Are you avoiding your revelation?”
“Can’t get anything past you, can I?”
“Please, Kolyat. I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me for almost a year now. I know that I’ve gone about keeping close to you in the wrong ways, having others send me information and relying on them where I should intervene myself. Perhaps that’s why you’ve kept this - whatever it is - from me. I don’t presume to know. This secret, you’ve fought to conceal it from me. I won’t question why you’ve changed your position in this regard. I won’t ask why you kept it-“
Floodgates (6/?)
anonymous
June 13 2011, 20:52:15 UTC
“Don’t promise that yet. It’s…I should’ve told you a lot sooner.”
Thane paused. “You can tell me now.”
Yeah, he could. But how? “You know…I tried since we last sat in a chat together. T o put together everything I need to say? And it’s just impossible. I don’t think you could even do it, and you talk like you’re reading from a script. This is just-“
“Please, just tell me. Start anywhere.”
“Promise me you’re coming to the Citadel.”
“I promise. Three days.”
Kolyat didn’t know whether or not to believe him. For the first time since he was about ten, he felt optimistic. He wanted to believe that Thane would keep his promise. “Okay. Alright, that’s-“ It wasn’t a promise for him, not in his eyes. It was something even more important and hopefully Thane would see that. It would have to do. He’d have to explain it properly, impress the importance on his father. He had to get this one thing right. “You can’t disappoint him. I already told him all about you.”
“Who?”
And just like that, he was letting everything simply fall out of his mouth in a disjoined confession. “He’s only five. He’s the same age I was when you started spending more and more time away from home. You don’t need to be around forever, I just…I’m trying to teach him what family is. His mother didn’t even care a bit. She killed herself. She had him, he needed her and she killed herself.” He laughed a little despite himself, feeling a touch of hysteria. “Gods, I know how to pick them, don’t I?”
“Kolyat-”
He couldn’t hear that voice, couldn’t be interrupted. Not now. “His name’s Vasaed. She gave him our family name. I don’t know why. She didn’t tell me about him. I only learned that he existed when she was dead, and the hanar found me and asked me if I wanted to raise him. I didn’t think I could do it, I still don’t think I’m doing it right, but I’m trying.” He was trying. Why was it so difficult? He wasn’t even making a conscious effort to talk anymore. He wasn’t thinking. He was just talking and somehow it was still the most difficult thing in the world. How? Why? What was he even saying anymore? “I want to give him a real family. And…I don’t know if I can handle talking to you, but he might need you. He doesn’t have anyone else but me, and even if you’re dying I just want someone else to care.”
It wasn’t everything he wanted to say. It wasn’t anywhere near everything that Thane needed to be told, but he just couldn’t keep going. It’d all stopped as suddenly as it’d come on. His father wasn’t saying anything. He scraped his mind for something else to say, but it was just blank. “…Kolyat.“ Oh gods, his father’s voice was scratchy. He’d never heard that from Thane in all his life. “I-“
He couldn’t look, didn’t want to be seen. He dragged a hand over his face, viciously digging his palm into his eyes to push back the burning in them. “Gods, I’m fucking this up.”
“You’re not.” Emphatic. Certain. It was the first time anyone had ever told him that.
“If you hadn’t stopped me last year, he’d probably be getting the same training you had. Right now.”
“Don’t consider that. Just be thankful he avoided that fate.”
“I am. You have to meet him. I really-“
“I will. Three days. I promise you.”
Kolyat could only nod. He didn’t feel the weight of the secret anymore. He hadn’t realised there had been a weight, but now there was a different pressure. It was a lot worse, a lot more vulnerable. He hated it, wanted to hate Thane for it, but it was for Vasaed. He couldn’t regret it. Wouldn’t. But he had to get away before he started actually tearing up. He couldn’t rein in his pride forever. “You sound like you need to rest. I should-”
Floodgates (7/7)
anonymous
June 13 2011, 20:53:41 UTC
“Yeah?”
It apparently took some difficulty. Thane paused for a moment, searching for the words he needed. Kolyat couldn’t think of a time where he’d ever seen his father without the words for whatever he needed to say. What happened to his fluid, engaging speeches? Was he just…moved? Stunned? Just when Kolyat was putting together the questions - still nebulous and unclear in his own head - Thane finally broke the silence. “You didn’t need to tell me, but you did. I won’t question your reasons. If you can tell me, in time, I will listen. For now, Kolyat…I want you to know how grateful I am.” A static-shaky hand moved into the picture and rubbed at the mostly featureless face of his father. “Thank you.”
Kolyat shook his head. There really weren’t any more words.
x
It wasn’t like seeing him in Talid’s apartment. For one thing, this was an arranged meeting. For another, under the harsh Presidium lighting Kolyat could see him a whole lot better.
Thane was ragged - there was no other word for it. His eyes were dull, his skin was loose and taking on a sickly sheen and he walked heavily. Had he been like this last year? Was this just a bad moment for his health, or was he really, irreversibly, one foot in the sea? Maybe Kolyat would’ve asked. He should’ve, and he knew it. But then Commander Shepard was there, a hand on Thane’s shoulder and a broad grin on his face: “see you when you get back, Grandpa.” Thane grimaced, not enough for the human to notice as he turned towards his son, but it made Kolyat’s insides shrivel. His lip curled visibly, he folded his arms across his front and he just simply glared as his father approached.
“Why did I even bother?” he muttered to himself.
“What do you mean?” Thane sounded terrible. He knew he should’ve had mercy, basic consideration, but all he had to give was defensiveness and pride. Not selfish pride.
“You’re ashamed.”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me. I saw your reaction there.”
“Please, Kolyat. Shepard has been very…trying, as of late. I told him in confidence what you had told me. He’s been treating this is a joke ever since.” His voice was wet and raspy. He was almost wheezing with the effort it took to speak. Kolyat tried not to let on how that made him shrivel up all the more - differently, that time, like he wanted to get away from the sound. “He’s becoming increasingly insufferable about it. He believes I’m too young to have grandchildren.”
“And do you think that too?”
Thane just stared at him for a long moment. Kolyat struggled to match him, blink for blink. There was something searching in that connection and it made him feel horribly watched. Maybe that wasn’t the term. ‘Vulnerable’ went too far. It was just as though there was something Thane was digging for in him, and it was incredibly uncomfortable while he was finding it. Kind of like when Shepard punched him in the face. “I believe,” his father began slowly, “that you have a great responsibility in your life and only a poor example to follow. I believe you’ve been forced to ignore your own personal beliefs to tell me about your son’s existence, and you did so for me as well as him. I believe that this child has steered you closer to becoming Whole than I could ever have managed.” Thane nodded, just once. “That last factor is the only thing I am ashamed of now.”
Kolyat rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to tell himself he was exasperated, not moved. His eyes weren’t burning, he must have just looked at a light too closely for a moment there. He wasn’t gratified, gods damn it. He needed to think about something else, pull his mind back into the situation rather than the analysis of it. “He’s still in school. There’s a few things I should probably tell you about him before you meet him.”
“Is he expecting to meet me today?”
“Yeah. It’s all he’s talked about since I told him five days ago.”
Re: Floodgates (7/7)
anonymous
June 14 2011, 11:35:25 UTC
Excuse me while I am melting through my chair out of sheer glee. They're all so perfect. I love them. You're portraying all their relationships so realistically, I can't get enough of it. Also, troll!Shepard for the win! Thank you so much for including that!
PS. WILL THERE BE MORE SEQUELS OH PLEASPLEASEPLEASE I'D LOVE TO SEE MORE THANE-KOLYAT-VASAED INTERACTION! PLEASE, AUTHOR!ANON!
Re: Floodgates (7/7)
anonymous
June 14 2011, 21:50:44 UTC
Plannin' to write another. I'm having fun with this, especially the whole telling it through Kolyat's perspective - he's such a fun brat to write for. Again, I'm open to suggestions!
Re: Floodgates (7/7)
anonymous
June 14 2011, 22:09:27 UTC
AWESOME, ANON! I am enjoying this story so much you wouldn't believe it!
I am still voting for MShep/Thane reveal to Kolyat just so he too would have a few surprises! :D
Other than that, maybe it'd be nice how the three of them are functioning together? Trying to be a family, three generations of Krioses? ...That's an almost scary mental image. XD Also, Thane having to babysit and Kolyat calling him every half an hour to make sure he hasn't screwed up somewhere. Also, Kolyat coming home or walking by and seeing Thane and his son "dancing crazy" and his reaction to that.
Forgive me, anon, I am full of suggestions, I can't help it! You asked! :D
A vote for Thane shipping!
anonymous
June 15 2011, 22:10:40 UTC
Third, passerby-anon agrees that Thane/M!Shep would be pretty awesome in this story. Not as a focal point, of course, but just as another element of anti-social-norms that this story seems to be playing with. Especially if we get to see this Shepard (who is oodles of fun despite his minor roll--very good job with that, author-anon) interact with Vasaed, I'm all for it. It could be really, really interesting as a small facet of this story, if the author-anon decided to go there.
Re: A vote for no thane shipping
anonymous
July 25 2012, 12:05:21 UTC
I agree. The author is obviously portraying realistic scenarios and reactions -keeping the characters very IC- and Male Shepard with Thane is not even available in the games, so it wouldn't be canon or realistic at all.
T: We’re already leaving batarian territory. I’ve voiced a wish to return to the Citadel.
K: Call first. Please.
T: Can I ask why?
K: You just did anyway.
K: Look, it’s something I need to gear myself up for.
T: A matter of personal comfort.
K: Now you’ve got it.
T: I should be able to make that call in a day or two.
K: Thank you.
T: Kolyat?
K: Yes?
T: How are you?
K: I feel like I’m walking into the ocean.
T: You’re in danger?
K: Okay, let me rephrase. It feels like I’m walking someone else into the ocean. Before you ask, I don’t mean you.
T: You aren’t endangering anyone. You aren’t hunting anyone. I know you’ve put those ideas behind you. What is it?
K: Well…at least you’re not thinking the worst of me.
K: Please, don’t try to guess it.
T: You’re concerned about disappointing me?
K: I never said that.
K: I need to go. I’m still ‘technically’ on-duty.
T: Of course. I’ll look into booking the communication’s room.
K: Could you try for a time after sixteen-hundred hours?
T: If that’s convenient for you, then yes. I’ll let you know as soon as possible. Your details haven’t changed?
K: Still the same. Thank you.
T: I-
T: Please take care of yourself in the meantime, Kolyat.
K: You’re the one in batarian space.
T: I’ve no intention of dying any more rapidly than I must.
K: Good plan.
1332 [LOGOUT] Kolyat
1332 [LOGOUT] Thane
x
The school was starting to give Vasaed more to work on at home. Half of it was aptitude tests: they wanted to put him in the next grade up. “Is that a good thing?” he wanted to know as he sat in the middle of the apartment with all his work scattered on the floor around him.
Kolyat sat on the couch close by, scrolling through his datapad: checking for messages, reading the Citadel Newsnet updates, looking at the currents state of his academy evaluation. These were things he did instinctively now. There was another tab open, where he was constantly jotting something down before deleting it all over again, then repeating the process over. That’s why his reply to his son was distracted at best. “Yeah, it’s usually a good thing. It means that your teachers think you’re really smart. They don’t want you to get bored in class, so they put you in the next grade.”
“My friends are smart too.”
“But you’re the smartest.” Kolyat looked up. “But, uh…you probably shouldn’t say that to your friends. Telling people that you’re smarter than them usually makes them mad.”
“So I shouldn’t tell them about going up a grade?”
“You can say it like that. I guess it’s all about how you word it.” He dropped the data pad on the couch, trying to avoid putting it through the rip in the leather. He’d probably never see it again if it went down there and even if it was a scratched, dented obsolete model that should’ve been replaced months ago, it still worked. “People usually don’t like it when someone says ‘I’m smarter than you’. It applies to a lot of things, a lot of aptitudes. No one likes being left behind.”
“Oh. It affects their self-esteem.”
“Right.”
“So will my friends feel left behind?”
“Maybe a little bit, but you’re not the type of person to make them really feel like they’re being left behind. So they might be a bit jealous, but they won’t blame you. Real friends accept that their friends are sometimes better at things than they are.”
“Like how you’re better at Skyllian Five than Officer Lang.”
“…I’ve never played Skyllian anywhere near you. How do you know about that?”
Reply
“Uh, look…it’s a similar idea, but being really smart is different to being good at a game. Being smart is a useful thing.”
“Yeah.”
Kolyat paused a moment, then got up to go sit on the floor next to his son. “You don’t want to do it? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“No, I want to. I don’t want to leave my friends behind.”
“Hey, you’ll still see them. You’ll just have new classes to make friends in, too.”
“I suppose.” Vasaed was only half-listening by this point. He was back into his work.
At least Kolyat never had to wonder what he got up to so long as there were still questions left to answer. He grinned to himself and got back up, patting Vasaed on the shoulder as he went, to sit back on the couch. Retrieving the data pad, he scanned the Newsnet again before closing the tab altogether. That just brought back the note he’d been tapping out. He took a long, deep breath and closed his eyes, letting his head drop onto the back of the seat. “Vasaed?”
“Dad?”
That brought a smile to his face. “Can you put that down for a minute? There’s something I want to ask you about.”
x
Text flashed across the screen.
CBM DE25
Connected: 1845
Transmission Log
Thank you for using Tyriel Advanced (TACC)!
The picture that replaced it was terrible, but considering the distance and the lousy screen he was taking the call on, Kolyat wasn’t surprised in the least. He was just glad it was working. He wondered if Thane - or the amorphous blob he supposed was Thane - could see him any better or if this fuzzy picture was going both ways. Probably not. It didn’t really matter. The audio feed was pretty poor, but it worked - that was the thing that really mattered.
“Kolyat, it’s good to-“
“Wait.” A click behind him made him frown and turn. He’d put Vasaed to bed hours ago, made sure he was fast asleep. There were ways to do this. Even he wasn’t cruel enough to just hold up the kid in range of the call and say ‘hey, guess who’s spawned’. Having his son wandering around in the background would make all this preparing useless, though he didn’t feel prepared despite it. He paused before leaning to look around the corner, down the hallway, but Vasaed’s door was still closed. “Sorry, I thought I heard something.”
The amorphous blob shifted on its feet. “I thought you lived alone.”
No point in delaying it. Kolyat straightened himself up and tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach. “Yeah, I did. That was over a year ago.”
“Your circumstances have changed?”
“Things changed only a few months after you left here.”
“In what resp-?”
“Are you coming to the Citadel now?” Kolyat blurted.
If he focused hard, he could tell himself that he saw some degree of surprise in Thane’s expression. The half-formed visual of his face shifted - either his brows were raised or he was developing an ambiguous growth on his forehead rapidly. “I understand that is Commander Shepard’s intention. He insists on calling it a personal favour to me. Quietly, I believe he simply enjoys Dark Star Lounge more than most would consider appropriate for a Spectre.”
Kolyat tried not to grin. “That’s some company you keep.”
“Are you avoiding your revelation?”
“Can’t get anything past you, can I?”
“Please, Kolyat. I’ve been trying to get you to talk to me for almost a year now. I know that I’ve gone about keeping close to you in the wrong ways, having others send me information and relying on them where I should intervene myself. Perhaps that’s why you’ve kept this - whatever it is - from me. I don’t presume to know. This secret, you’ve fought to conceal it from me. I won’t question why you’ve changed your position in this regard. I won’t ask why you kept it-“
Reply
Thane paused. “You can tell me now.”
Yeah, he could. But how? “You know…I tried since we last sat in a chat together. T o put together everything I need to say? And it’s just impossible. I don’t think you could even do it, and you talk like you’re reading from a script. This is just-“
“Please, just tell me. Start anywhere.”
“Promise me you’re coming to the Citadel.”
“I promise. Three days.”
Kolyat didn’t know whether or not to believe him. For the first time since he was about ten, he felt optimistic. He wanted to believe that Thane would keep his promise. “Okay. Alright, that’s-“ It wasn’t a promise for him, not in his eyes. It was something even more important and hopefully Thane would see that. It would have to do. He’d have to explain it properly, impress the importance on his father. He had to get this one thing right. “You can’t disappoint him. I already told him all about you.”
“Who?”
And just like that, he was letting everything simply fall out of his mouth in a disjoined confession. “He’s only five. He’s the same age I was when you started spending more and more time away from home. You don’t need to be around forever, I just…I’m trying to teach him what family is. His mother didn’t even care a bit. She killed herself. She had him, he needed her and she killed herself.” He laughed a little despite himself, feeling a touch of hysteria. “Gods, I know how to pick them, don’t I?”
“Kolyat-”
He couldn’t hear that voice, couldn’t be interrupted. Not now. “His name’s Vasaed. She gave him our family name. I don’t know why. She didn’t tell me about him. I only learned that he existed when she was dead, and the hanar found me and asked me if I wanted to raise him. I didn’t think I could do it, I still don’t think I’m doing it right, but I’m trying.” He was trying. Why was it so difficult? He wasn’t even making a conscious effort to talk anymore. He wasn’t thinking. He was just talking and somehow it was still the most difficult thing in the world. How? Why? What was he even saying anymore? “I want to give him a real family. And…I don’t know if I can handle talking to you, but he might need you. He doesn’t have anyone else but me, and even if you’re dying I just want someone else to care.”
It wasn’t everything he wanted to say. It wasn’t anywhere near everything that Thane needed to be told, but he just couldn’t keep going. It’d all stopped as suddenly as it’d come on. His father wasn’t saying anything. He scraped his mind for something else to say, but it was just blank. “…Kolyat.“ Oh gods, his father’s voice was scratchy. He’d never heard that from Thane in all his life. “I-“
He couldn’t look, didn’t want to be seen. He dragged a hand over his face, viciously digging his palm into his eyes to push back the burning in them. “Gods, I’m fucking this up.”
“You’re not.” Emphatic. Certain. It was the first time anyone had ever told him that.
“If you hadn’t stopped me last year, he’d probably be getting the same training you had. Right now.”
“Don’t consider that. Just be thankful he avoided that fate.”
“I am. You have to meet him. I really-“
“I will. Three days. I promise you.”
Kolyat could only nod. He didn’t feel the weight of the secret anymore. He hadn’t realised there had been a weight, but now there was a different pressure. It was a lot worse, a lot more vulnerable. He hated it, wanted to hate Thane for it, but it was for Vasaed. He couldn’t regret it. Wouldn’t. But he had to get away before he started actually tearing up. He couldn’t rein in his pride forever. “You sound like you need to rest. I should-”
“Wait. Please. Just one last thing.”
Reply
It apparently took some difficulty. Thane paused for a moment, searching for the words he needed. Kolyat couldn’t think of a time where he’d ever seen his father without the words for whatever he needed to say. What happened to his fluid, engaging speeches? Was he just…moved? Stunned? Just when Kolyat was putting together the questions - still nebulous and unclear in his own head - Thane finally broke the silence. “You didn’t need to tell me, but you did. I won’t question your reasons. If you can tell me, in time, I will listen. For now, Kolyat…I want you to know how grateful I am.” A static-shaky hand moved into the picture and rubbed at the mostly featureless face of his father. “Thank you.”
Kolyat shook his head. There really weren’t any more words.
x
It wasn’t like seeing him in Talid’s apartment. For one thing, this was an arranged meeting. For another, under the harsh Presidium lighting Kolyat could see him a whole lot better.
Thane was ragged - there was no other word for it. His eyes were dull, his skin was loose and taking on a sickly sheen and he walked heavily. Had he been like this last year? Was this just a bad moment for his health, or was he really, irreversibly, one foot in the sea? Maybe Kolyat would’ve asked. He should’ve, and he knew it. But then Commander Shepard was there, a hand on Thane’s shoulder and a broad grin on his face: “see you when you get back, Grandpa.” Thane grimaced, not enough for the human to notice as he turned towards his son, but it made Kolyat’s insides shrivel. His lip curled visibly, he folded his arms across his front and he just simply glared as his father approached.
“Why did I even bother?” he muttered to himself.
“What do you mean?” Thane sounded terrible. He knew he should’ve had mercy, basic consideration, but all he had to give was defensiveness and pride. Not selfish pride.
“You’re ashamed.”
“No.”
“Don’t lie to me. I saw your reaction there.”
“Please, Kolyat. Shepard has been very…trying, as of late. I told him in confidence what you had told me. He’s been treating this is a joke ever since.” His voice was wet and raspy. He was almost wheezing with the effort it took to speak. Kolyat tried not to let on how that made him shrivel up all the more - differently, that time, like he wanted to get away from the sound. “He’s becoming increasingly insufferable about it. He believes I’m too young to have grandchildren.”
“And do you think that too?”
Thane just stared at him for a long moment. Kolyat struggled to match him, blink for blink. There was something searching in that connection and it made him feel horribly watched. Maybe that wasn’t the term. ‘Vulnerable’ went too far. It was just as though there was something Thane was digging for in him, and it was incredibly uncomfortable while he was finding it. Kind of like when Shepard punched him in the face. “I believe,” his father began slowly, “that you have a great responsibility in your life and only a poor example to follow. I believe you’ve been forced to ignore your own personal beliefs to tell me about your son’s existence, and you did so for me as well as him. I believe that this child has steered you closer to becoming Whole than I could ever have managed.” Thane nodded, just once. “That last factor is the only thing I am ashamed of now.”
Kolyat rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to tell himself he was exasperated, not moved. His eyes weren’t burning, he must have just looked at a light too closely for a moment there. He wasn’t gratified, gods damn it. He needed to think about something else, pull his mind back into the situation rather than the analysis of it. “He’s still in school. There’s a few things I should probably tell you about him before you meet him.”
“Is he expecting to meet me today?”
“Yeah. It’s all he’s talked about since I told him five days ago.”
“We only spoke three-“
“I know. Come on, already.”
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PS. WILL THERE BE MORE SEQUELS OH PLEASPLEASEPLEASE I'D LOVE TO SEE MORE THANE-KOLYAT-VASAED INTERACTION! PLEASE, AUTHOR!ANON!
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I am still voting for MShep/Thane reveal to Kolyat just so he too would have a few surprises! :D
Other than that, maybe it'd be nice how the three of them are functioning together? Trying to be a family, three generations of Krioses? ...That's an almost scary mental image. XD Also, Thane having to babysit and Kolyat calling him every half an hour to make sure he hasn't screwed up somewhere. Also, Kolyat coming home or walking by and seeing Thane and his son "dancing crazy" and his reaction to that.
Forgive me, anon, I am full of suggestions, I can't help it! You asked! :D
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Well, if possible anyway.
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