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notpowers Rory couldn't help it if his first reaction to Blaise intercepting like that was to turn around and deck the guy. Sure, there was enough shocked moments to pass where all Rory could do was stand there, stunned, as Logan was whisked away to god knows where by Aidan's Sire. But it had been Blaise who had pulled Rory away from his brother and as soon as his mind could form a rational thought, he actually had the hide to punch a Kindred in the face because there was no other immediate way to know what else he was supposed to do. He was shocked, angry, terrified, and seriously wanted to tear these bastards throats out for doing this. He had shouted and screamed, probably came up with every profanity in existence until he noticed that Blaise's cheek was actually coming up in a large bruise, and that threw him for some reason.
Now he was standing in what looked to be some sort of ornate study, his arm wrapped protectively around his younger brother's shoulders. Rory had thought Austin would be more furious, but he was just standing there with his hands over his face sobbing quietly. Seeing Logan like that, though, it was going to be something they couldn't let go of for a long time. Logan literally just died in front of everyone. Talk about making a dramatic exit. Rory was shaking from head to toe and some slow, silent tears were dripping down his own cheeks. It was Blaise and Juliette standing directly across from Austin and Rory, with Buffy sort of hovering somewhere in between. "You better tell me what the fuck is going on, or I'll kill you all. I swear to God," Rory said through gritted teeth.
It was true, Kindred could injure themselves. Bruises, cuts, and the like. Of course they could. The Masquerade would be deeply flawed if they were to be witnessed getting hurt without repurcussion. It was nothing that couldn't be healed easily, though. For now, the bruise on Blaise's face was the least of his worries. His expression was sombre as he watched the two brothers. He didn't blame Rory for his outburst in the least. In fact, there wouldn't be a person in that room who wasn't affected by what they had just seen. No matter how much they had been anticipating it and knowing it was coming, to see someone die like that was extremely confronting and painful. As it was, he couldn't be sure if the CPR would be enough to sustain Logan for Embrace. Maybe not. News still might come that Logan had passed away before Ros could do anything. It was just a matter of waiting until she passed any development on. He held Ros' phone up, willing to let anyone take it who needed the evidence. "Sometime on the journey from the airport to here, Logan sent Ros a message requesting she Embrace him at his end. The only thing is, we unfortunately cannot be sure if she will be able to succeed with it. We may have lost Logan before she could do anything about it," he admitted quietly and the only sound in the room at first was another pained sob from Austin.
Juliette really didn't know what to do, or say. Seeing Rory in so much pain and not being able to comfort him just made her feel even more guilty for treating him like she had. She'd made the ultimate mistake and it seemed like she would never be able to put things right. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her waist, her gaze solely on the Hunter even as her mate spoke. The Toreador clenched her jaw against a tide of emotion, hoping that she did not break out into blood tears. The urge to cry was halted though, as the revelation was left hanging in the air. Finally she tore her gaze from Rory to look at the phone, then glanced at Blaise questioningly. She made no reach for the phone, knowing that it should be Rory or Austin who read it first. "Why do I feel as if there is another 'but' to that statement," she murmured quietly.
Buffy didn't know who to go to first, and in the end she chose Rory. Blaise would have Juliette if he needed her. Rory would never accept comfort from either Kindred, and besides Austin, she was the only other human at that point. Xander and Airlie had apparently disappeared before Rory's fist had collided with Blaise's cheekbone. She rest her hand on Rory's arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. She felt out of depth, like she was very much on the outs with what was going on. Logan's request for Embrace had been something they had all been waiting for, but now it seemed like it had happened all too quickly. He'd been whisked out of the room, and Ros was apparently about to set out to try and bring him to the Dark Side. "I don't... I don't understand. Wasn't the request supposed to be verbal? Didn't there have to be more life in him? Any life in him. Rory said his pulse had stopped."
Rory was trying to focus on his breathing or his own heart beating. Something consistent to stop him spiralling out of control. He felt sick, he felt like he wanted to throw up. The image of Logan's face was stuck in his mind and he couldn't get rid of it. He didn't want to, either, but that didn't make it any easier to tolerate. He couldn't even speak for the moment, his throat felt restricted and he was trying to take everything in. Logan had asked to be Embraced. He had really done it. At the final hour, he had given in. He needed more information before he could even hope to know how to process it. Just the thought of his brother as a Kindred nearly had him passing out. It was just the fact Austin needed him that was keeping him from completely losing it. By this point, Rory wasn't just holding his brother up, he was using him to remain on his feet himself.
Blaise shook his head slightly and wet his lips. "Non. A request can be in any form. It just needs to come directly from the person and not be under duress. And before anyone can point fingers and accuse Aidan of pulling some sort of trick on the drive over here to force Logan to do this, Aidan was just as much in the dark as the rest of us. You could see it in his face. I do not believe for a moment he knew of Logan's intentions. Logan knew how close he was to the end, that is why this message has even come." He paused and started to pace slowly, his shoes leaving soft footfalls on the polished boards below. "It has not come without an ultimatum, however. You must read the message. He wanted it at his end so he was not aware it was coming, and he only wanted it if he is to mate with Aidan in the process. This is very rare circumstance. In fact, I have not heard of it in my time. Decisions to mate usually come once both Kindred are established and comfortable within themselves. Logan has not solely made the decision on his own, he has placed it in Aidan's hands, and that is something we all have to respect. He only wants this if he can have it with Aidan. Nothing more, nothing less."
This time Juliette did reach for the phone as she took it off Blaise as he paced beside her. "Merde," she cursed under her breath before she even had a chance to reach the message. And then when she did, she cursed again. Even she knew it was risky to want mateship so early on. Logan would barely be in control of himself. He would barely have his fangs. She looked over at Rory, her jaw clenched as she watched him again for a long moment. Buffy seemed to sense that she was required to move, and let go of Rory's arm before Juliette replaced her, and tucked the phone into Rory's hand as she slipped her arm around her shoulders. While the two brothers may have been holding each other up, Juliette had the strength to keep them both on their feet if it was needed. "Mon amour,, I know this is hard, but you must read. I realise this is how you did not want things to go, but Logan has made his request. Do not hate him."
Rory immediately stiffened at her touch and for a moment, he just looked at her with a deep fron on his face. She was taking a big risk putting herself so close to him when he was all over the place with his emotions. He still had his arm around Austin, who was just a mess. Rory was worried about him, he wanted to take him away somewhere private and just hug him. But there was so much shit all over the place at the moment, that things had to be understood before the situation could get any better. He looked at the phone, and read the message over and over again. Then he checked to make sure it really was from Logan's number, and then checked again. He had to look up at the ceiling, biting down on his lip when he felt like he wanted to throw the phone against the wall. So, even if Logan was right at his end and still dead, they were going to try and drain him. He gave a small shake of his head and shoved the phone back into Juliette's hand. "I hate you all," he hissed with a sneer.
Blaise looked at Rory sadly, biting down on his lower lip. He hadn't in his whole time as Kindred encountered something like this. It was throwing him off and he didn't know what the best solution was. After a moment, he put his hands up and rubbed them over his face. He needed to offer something to try and turn this situation around. None of this could start out with Rory against them all. It would be devastating and dangerous. "Rory, if this works, he is going to need you. Just like Airlie did. He is not ready to be done with this world yet. I know it seems like we have all ganged up on you here and somehow enforced this decision in Logan's mind, but his alternative was death, and maybe when it came to the finality of it all, he realised he was not as ready as he thought to say goodbye."
Juliette's face instantly reflected a wounded expression and she pulled away to put distance between herself and Rory as she clutched the phone to her body. She wasn't sure what she'd really expected once she did try an comfort him. This was probably mild in comparison to one version of it that had played out in her mind, and ended in her true death. She just stayed quiet as she looked at Blaise, seriously wondering how he expected her to help persuade Rory that this was a good thing for his brother.
Buffy pulled her mouth to the side as she looked at Juliette quietly, wondering if Rory even realised just how much the Toreador really did care for him. It was plain in her eyes, no matter how much Kindred liked to try and keep their expressions clear of emotion. She was getting good at reading their eyes, Blaise had taught her how. She'd learned from necessity so that she could try and stop fucking up so completely when she was left to interpret what he said. "This has to be his decision, Braveheart. Anything else, and Ros and Aidan are both risking retaliation from someone who would wake up a pretty pissed off Kindred. I think the Scottish Prince respects your family enough not to try anything like that, and Aidan will only ever go along with what Logan wants. If there's any doubt about the mating, then he would just let Logan slip away. Logan will stay dead."
Hearing the words like that was dizzying, and to Rory, the room felt like it spun just a little. He really thought he had been prepared for this, he thought he could cope with it rationally and be strong for everyone else, but it just wasn't working. It was all happening too quickly. It was hard for him to believe that he had once been just a normal guy with a family, and completely blind to any of this existing, and right now, he wished he was still that guy. He wished he didn't know about any of this, and wished his brother wasn't about to be dragged into that world because he thought it was his only remaining option. Everything just hurt so much, just like it had when he had lost his wife and daughter. Like it would never stop. He didn't even realise Austin was trying to pull away from him before his younger brother was suddenly throwing up spectacularly all over Ros' pristine floor. In some stupid part of his mind, Rory took a hint of smug satisfaction in that, as if vomit was a good revenge for sucking the life out of their brother. It didn't last long, though. He pulled Austin away from the mess on the floor so he could sit down in case he was going to pass out or something. Rory pushed his brother's blond hair back and crouched down beside him. "It's okay, laddie. It's okay," he said tearfully and started to rub Austin's back helplessly. How was it okay, though? "So, what happens now? You expect us to just sit back and let you have at him? To the fuck with that, assholes," he said, shooting them a glare.
Blaise glanced at Juliette. This was going to be difficult. They needed a way to keep Rory close, and even let him see Logan once the Embrace was done, otherwise Rory was going to create more problems. It was strange, because Blaise had assumed Austin would be the one to put a spanner in the works, ever since the youngest Buchanan had arrived. But he was just crumbling and Blaise doubted even Rory had the strength to hold him up how he needed it. "The whole process of Embrace can take days, Rory. The actual draining is mere minutes. It is not going to be an easy transition. Logan's blood is still diseased at this point, and Ros needs to drink that. Then death comes. It can be hours, or days. Logan will reawake and need to feed from Ros at the first instance. Once he does that, he will be capable of mating, only he probably will have little actual recollection of it. Childers never quite get satiated in their early days. The hunger burns deeply and painfully. He will not begin to heal for a few days after that. Until then, he will remain looking as he does now, perhaps a lot worse. I do not recommend you witnessing any of that, and I promise you, he will be in the best hands. The Scottish Prince, Rory. That is a rare occurence. We need you to trust us."
"Fuck, Rory. Just do it," Austin rasped out with a shake of his head. "Dinnae fight them all. This is what Logan wants, and it's better than being fucking dead."
Juliette swallowed thickly, feeling like she was in danger of expelling her last meal even if it had been hours ago. The grief, pain and anger washing off Rory was crippling. Especially to her. She'd ignored what was in her heart when she'd cut off ties to him so stupidly, and so swiftly. She'd assumed that following her mate's example would have been the right thing, but it wasn't. And now Rory hated Kindred. He despised them, especially her. She pushed her fingers through her dark hair and then risked a couple of steps closer to Rory, but this time she made no move to touch him. "I realise our actions recently have spoken otherwise, but we do not wish to hurt you or your family, mon amour. What I did to you... How I hurt you, that is on me. Not Blaise, not Ros. If you will not trust in me, then trust in them. Ros cares for your brother, she will do everything she can to make sure this goes as smoothly as possible, but it will not just cause your brother pain. She's risking herself by draining him and taking in that much infected blood. You saw what Blaise was like. You know what it can do to us. She is willing to do that for your brother. Logan trusts her, Rory. Trust him. Trust Aidan to be there for him as well."
Buffy glanced around and waited for the servants to come running the moment the floor had been spoiled, but there was no flurry of activity. Apparently even Ros' household could respect that this was a private moment. She side-stepped the contents of Austin's stomach and came over to crouch next to Rory as she touched his shoulder. "This was always going to be Logan's decision. Okay, now he's sharing it with Aidan, but this was still always going to be able Logan making the request. It's out of everyone's hands now. They're only abiding by Logan. Don't hate them for it."
Rory was listening. If there was one thing he was going to do was keep listening to every-fucking-thing that was being said. It had always been one of his biggest gifts. He listened and observed and it's how he honed his gift of reconigising Kindred. But his focus was Austin for the moment, watching him closely to make sure he was as okay as he could be. He really looked terrible, and Rory could see that he was nursing his arm against him. "Are you hurt?" he murmured, taking Austin's hand carefully. It was swollen at the wrist and Rory realised now just how intensly Austin had been doing that CPR. Something Austin himself probably didn't even realise at the time. They had all known Logan hadn't wanted to be resuscitated, but when faced with it like that, it was easier to just react that stop and think of the practicalities. "We'll get that strapped up for you, aye? You can take a shower, have a lie down." He wrapped his arm around Austin again, hugging him and pressing a kiss to his head. If he could have taken that whole experience away from him, he would have. He looked back at the rest of them. "If I want to see him, I'll see him. That's my call to make. I dinnae care what anyone thinks, Austin and me are still Logan's blood and that trumps anything you lot are about to offer him, and always will. If we want to tapdance naked on the rooftop, we fucking will, alright?"
"Will you accept our help, Rory? It is there for you if you would like it. No matter what is to occur tonight, there is no taking away the fact you just witnessed your brother passing away. I understand how that feels, no matter how much you think you were prepared for it." Blaise shook his head slowly. "You cannot be. If it comes that you feel you desperately need to see him and be with him, no matter what, I'll find a way to make it happen. But it is not something you need to be concerned with, I promise you that. Rory, I think perhaps Austin needs you more right now. Logan will be well cared for, he will be as comfortable as he can be. I would advise to wait to see him until he has transitioned. As stupid as it sounds, it will be a lot better for him if you wait until then. Best to see him as he is going to be. Have a fresh start."
Austin was nodding a little as he listened too, even if he felt like crap. His heart hurt. He had just watched Logan die, felt his his heart stop. He wanted his wife. He wanted to curl up in a ball and just cry. He knew the whole Kindred thing wasn't the most ideal solution, but he had always thought it was the better option. Logan wasn't even thirty years old, and he was dying. He didn't need to just check out. But still, the whole Kindred thing did terrify Austin. It was something he had yet to verbalise to anyone. He could put up any mask he needed to, and he had, but he was scared, plain and simple. "Rory, we cannae do anything," he said tearfully.
Buffy just watched the two brothers quietly as the scene continued. She really didn't know what else she could say to Rory, or even Austin. She'd had yet to have much to do with Austin. There were a couple of conversations, but she still didn't know that he exactly approved of his nephew's mother. It wasn't like she could blame him, and they hadn't met under the happiest of circumstances. Watching their brother die had to be devastating to both of them. It was even starting to weigh down on Buffy as she felt the tears well in her eyes, and tried to subtly sniff as she swallowed down a lump. "Blaise is right," she finally choked out in a near whisper. "Austin needs you more right now. Everything that you could do for Logan has been done until he, ah... reawakens."
Blaise was starkly aware right now that he wasn't in his own comfort zone. It wasn't his home. He just had to wait for the moment to see what was going on. Some of Ros' staff would no doubt arrive soon to direct them to where they should or could be. If it was his home, he would be more in charge. The joys of being another Prince's guest. Restlessness on Blaise's part was inevitable. So instead of giving into the urge to keep pacing, he moved and went to sit on one of the nearby arm chairs across from Rory and Austin, taking himself down on their level, and even managing to look like he was sitting relaxed to take off some of the authorative energy in the room. He was just as much on edge wondering if Logan would have been saved or not. It would be extremely touch and go. "Is there anyone you wish us to contact for you, Austin? Friends... family..." he asked quietly, trying to draw the other brother into the mix a little more. Rory was so charge with emotions, he was impossible to read. It was like taking a snort of cocaine for Blaise, but he was managing to keep his cool.
Austin was busy trying to stop himself wanting to throw up again. His eyes were red and sore from the crying, and he had hurt his wrist from the exertion of the CPR. He never thought he would have to do anything like that to someone he loved. "... no. Everyone I need is here, besides my folks. But we know how that lies," he said hoarsely, the words coming out choked. It was all lies, and he didn't need to hear anymore to know that Blaise knew. He just couldn't be sure if Aidan had let slip or it was just Princely senses kicking it. "The rest of my... friends are deployed."
Juliette had withdrawn from the group, standing by the window as she listened. It was getting harder and harder for her to try and justify being where she wasn't wanted. She was the reason Rory had been hurt, the reason he'd been fuelled by Brujah anger to the point he'd lashed out at his brother. No one knew for sure if that had been the reason the tumour had gone from dormant to active, but she was sure it played a part. How could it not have? All this because she'd thought she could try and start something with Rory. All this because she'd tried to end it prematurely. Juliette glanced over her shoulder as she heard Blaise shift and walked back over as she perched on the edge of his arm chair and rested her hand on his shoulder as she gave it a squeeze.
Buffy rocked back onto her heels and after a moment she hand to move so that she was sitting on one of the empty chairs. The baby was kicking again, and it really didn't make for convenient crouching. She rubbed her hand against her stomach and grunted softly. "Can't friends still get leave for extraneous reasons? Surely the death of your brother is extraneous enough. And maybe not all friends, but at least one friend. I know you have your family, but sometimes you really do just need a friend."
Rory shook his head. "Nay, you cannae. For immediate family you can, but nay for friends," he said knowingly, basically oblivious to the enormity of the comment he was saying. As far as he was aware, Austin had no family deployed. "Y-You have leave, aye? You dinnae need to go right back?" he asked anxiously. He wasn't sure he could survive this whole thing with at least a tiny part of his family to hang onto. Logan was gone, in all senses of the word. At least until they knew if he would come back, and who he would come back as, and Austin was right, their folks would just need to be told that Logan passed away before they got him home. That was going to be the hardest phone call Rory ever made... or he would probably drive to their hometown to do it in person.
Blaise was looking intently at Austin. He really didn't know why the marriage was being kept a secret. "Unfortunate," he commented quietly. "Comfort can often come from ones who are not linked by blood from birth. I am sure your... friends will be deeply saddened to hear of Logan's passing, Austin."
Rory looked from Austin to Blaise, and then to Juliette. He really had no idea what was going on here, but there was something. He could just sense it. His eyes shifted to Buffy, who seemed to just be looking at Blaise like he was talking in questions from Jeopardy or something. She seemed as oblivious as Rory felt. "What's going on? Oh fuck, please tell me you dinnae have more Kindred over in the desert with you? You do, aye? You do. Or better yet. Lawson is Kindred." To this point, it was something Rory hadn't picked up on. He had been all-encompassed with Logan ailing to have picked up on this before. "Fuck, he is. He is. Have you been a Kindred snack, Austin?!"
"No... shit," Austin mumbled, shooting a frown at Blaise and Juliette. He didn't know much about the Prince's mate, but she was stuck close to him so they came as a package deal. "I asked him to once, but chickened out at the last minute. I just wanted to know what it was like, but I didnae really at the same time. That's not what Blaise is talking about. He's talking about my wife. I'm married."
Juliette's expression betrayed very little shock at the announcement. She was hardly in the dark. Maybe she and Blaise hadn't slept together recently but that didn't mean they hadn't talked. They still shared everything with each other. She just held Austin's gaze briefly before her eyes flicked to Rory to watch as the news sunk in. "She would be able to get leave," she suggesting softly. "There would be nothing stopping it."
Buffy's confused expression disappeared as her eyebrows shot up and she just sat there with her mouth open for a long moment. "Wait... what? The Lawson thing I knew. Sorry, Rory," she quickly added as she shot her friend a sheepish smile. "But the marriage thing. Hell, I really didn't know about that. Are you serious? Are you really married? Marriage is family. Family can get leave. Just like Juliette and Blaise said. You knew?" she asked the Prince.
Rory had a feeling like people were waiting for him to explode angrily again. It did cut a little deep because he never used to be like that. Not really. Ever since losing his family, though, anger seemed to be the easiest thing to tap into when he was emotional or scared. He didn't like that he had become that, but he also didn't know how to change it when things just kept happening and kept hurting. His brain was just catching up with the Lawson thing, but in all honesty, it was irrelevant to Austin's bombshell. For a long few moments, Rory just looked at his brother in disbelief. It didn't even come to him to think to be pissed off again at all the secrets. He just felt crushed that something like this was a secret. "Y-You got married? When... w-where. I... I expected Logan to hide something like that from me, but not you," he said in a tiny, hurt voice.
More tears just spilled down Austin's cheeks when he heard the hurt he knew he would have caused. "It wasnae long ago. It was before I heard you got hurt. Just before that. I was going into a dangerous zone, on a dangerous dive. Probably the worse we had seen. Battles had been breaking out all over. She was... is... the medic for our unit. We got close a couple of months earlier when I was injured in an explosion. She had to nurse me back, and we just got close. We sort of dared each other to do it. Our mates pushed us too. It was all just a wee bit of a laugh. Get married, in case we didnae come oot alive. It gave us something to hold onto, you know? To prove us wrong. It was just one of the best things I've ever done. It was, like, a five minute no fuss ceremony in a grimy tent out in the middle of nowhere. One of the other sergeants was a celebrant. I cannae even mind the ins and outs. I was going to tell you, only then I was getting news you were hurt. I was stuck oot there. I couldnae get back withoot putting the rest of the unit in danger, so I had to stay. Then I got your emails aboot... aboot Juliette. I seriously hated on you," he told the Toreador sitting at Blaise's side. "Until my wife sat doon and pointed out your point of view to me. So, I wrote Rory a letter and told him to hear you oot. He just never got it. Then the next thing I know, I'm getting radio correspondence from Lawson telling me Logan was dying."
Blaise's forehead creased a little as he listened and he chewed on the inside of his lower lip. He knew Austin was married, but he knew none of this. The wife took Juliette's side? Did that mean she was Kindred? He wasn't sure Rory could take something like that. "Your wife knows of The Masquerade?" he asked Austin quietly. "Is she--"
"No," Austin cut in, cutting Blaise off. He might be Prince, but their brother had just died. He would cut any bullshit off before it eventuated if it was going to make everything hurt even more. "She is not Kindred. Lawson is the only Kindred I know. But she's a Medic, and Kindred are in the services. She has learnt that way. And thank god she did, because I havenae had to try and keep secrets from her. I've been able to talk to her aboot everything. At least, when she's nay been oot of contact. Which she is at the moment," he added sadly, a few more tears dripping down his face.
Juliette wasn't sure if she was relieved or not to hear that Austin's wife took her side. There was a slight curl of her lips in place of a smile as she just listened, wondering if she would ever meet the woman or not. In the end she decided that it was nice to hear that someone could see her point of view. Her green eyes flicked from Austin to Rory, but Rory was still looking at his brother. When she looked back at Austin, she just arched her eyebrow slightly. "I am getting used to being hated on, cherie, I do not take it personally. You are also his brother. It is natural to react against the thing that is threatening him and his happiness."
Buffy still sat there a little dumbfounded as she watched everyone else, and tried to get her brain to catch up in the wake of watching Logan die in front of them. "Okay, so... yay? I mean, not yay it was a secret, but yay you're married. It's a good thing, isn't it? You're happy, you love her? Even if it was a dare it sounds like there must be something more in it than that. If there's Kindred in the services, then Kindred can find her. She might be out of radio contact but I doubt that means she's truly impossible to find. And we are gonna find her, right? At least someone in this room is going to get onto that, right?" she asked with a pointed look at Blaise. And they thought she was a threat to The Masquerade. Lately it didn't feel like she had to do much of anything for people to know about Kindred when they seemed to already know. "Or Riley. Riley could help us find her."
"No. No! Look, just leave her, okay? I dinnae want any of you poking your noses into my business, on my behalf, nay matter where you all think your hearts. She still has a job to do, and it's an important job, and that is where she needs to be. I'm fine. Like you all said, there is nothing anyone else can do for Logan. He's dead. Whether he survives the Embrace or nay remains to be seen. To be honest, I'll be surprised if he does. She's over there saving lives, and here all she'll be able to do is sit aroond like the rest of us aboot as useful as a fart in the face. So just... leave her, alright? And if I find oot anyone tried to go behind my back with this, so help me god, I will kill you," Austin stated seriously, looking over them all and waiting to see if anyone was going to object. They better not, or he would give Rory's temper a run for it's money.
Rory gave a small roll of his eyes at Juliette's comment. As far as he was concerned, she deserved to be hated on, whether it was by him or his brothers. Rory had been honest with her about where he stood with his life, and she had been all over him. He was seriously wishing he never went to France. If he hadn't gone to France, he would never have been there to be attacked, Logan wouldn't have been there to get hit. "Anything you wrote in a letter wouldnae have made any difference. I took her message loud and clear, end of story. But I'm nay sitting here and letting you try to cope with Logan's death without at least giving your lassie the chance to choose for herself. You said yourself, she's in a dangerous place, and you have to... to--" His eyes welled up and he gripped Austin's wrist. "How are you seriously going to feel if something happens to her and you havenae at least been open with her aboot how much you need her? Trust me. That is nay a feeling you ever want to know, laddie. Ever."
Blaise's eyes were intense as he listened to the exchange between the brothers. He glanced up at Juliette for a moment, but then his gaze turned to Buffy, something gnawing away inside him at Rory's words. He just watched her for a moment before a frown appeared and he was looking at Juliette again. "Rory, something you need to understand here is that in the Kindred sense of the word, Logan and Juliette are going be just like brother and sister if he becomes Embraced by Ros. She is going to be part of his life. This might be a time to evaluate your feelings and perhaps clear the air... for Logan's sake," he suggested quietly.
Juliette couldn't look at Rory. She could barely look at Blaise. What she really wanted was to leave the room and just let Blaise deal with Rory. The Scotsman really had made things clear. She'd messed up, she'd pushed him too far away to ever hope to get him back. She had no idea what Blaise meant by 'clearing the air' but she didn't think it would do any good. Juliette kept her hand on Blaise's shoulder before she gave it a soft squeeze and stood up again to make her way back over to the window. "I'm sure we can still be civil towards each other, nes pas? We'll keep things between as polite for Logan's sake, but there is no need to clear the air. Rory has every right to be angry. There is no smoothing things over."
Buffy had been aware of Blaise's gaze but by the time she looked at him, he was already looking away. She sat in her chair and tried not to wriggle, the chair not quite as comfortable as she thought. She was starting to develop a pregnant woman and the pea syndrome where very few chairs were comfortable for her. "Speaking as someone who's had more chances than she probably deserves, clearing the air would be a good thing. And not because of Juliette, but because of you, Rory. Do you really wanna be carrying around one more thing that makes you angry? I know you can't go back to who you were before... before you lost everything. Hell, I didn't even know you then, but I do know that you need to let go of the anger inside you. Brujah tapped into that part of you for a reason. This might just be a good chance to let it all go."
"Ah, but that is where you are wrong, Juliette. Logan is going to be a Childer among us. His senses are going to be so finely raw and taking in everything around him. He is going to know if anyone is trying to put on an act around him. He is going to wake with no recollection of his illness, no recollection of any of Rory's situation, and he is going to be in both of your presences wondering why the hell you are evidently awkward around each other but trying to pretend not to be," Blaise reasoned quietly, looking between them both. "I happen to believe that putting Logan in the presence of any anger as he finds his feet will be detrimental. Childers absorb their surroundings, and it becomes their basis for the Kindred they are. I am going to blunt. The pair of you would be utterly selfish to inflict him with negative feelings as he learns. Would you stand around and yell at an infant with negative profanity when they were learning to talk? Non, you would not."
Of course, Rory's first reaction was just to be pissed off that he was being ganged up on. Austin caught the flash in his brother's eyes and the brief tightening of his lips. He took Rory's hand gently and then gave it a squeeze. For a moment, he just looked at him without saying anything. All he wanted to do was fall into his brother's arms and sob for hours. Rory always had a way of making things feel better. But now, he was incapable of it. "Hey, you dinnae get to tell me what to do, if I dinnae get to boss you around too. I'm going to make you a deal. You sit doon with Juliette and lay your heart on the line to clear the air, and I'll call my wife and tell her how much I need her. Now I know how terrified you are to let anyone near your heart ever again, but it's our job to make sure Logan's okay. Our Logan, nay the Kindred one. I'm going to do everything I fucking can to make sure he comes back who he really is, and I know you want to do the same too."
Rory held Austin's gaze for a moment, tears dripping down his cheeks before he just let his head drop down and his shoulders slumped in exhaustion. "Fuck. Just fuck..." he mumbled.
Buffy pulled her mouth to the side before she glanced over her shoulder at where Juliette seemed to be trying to make herself disappear into the curtains, and then back at Rory where the Hunter looked like he really was about to crumble. She eased herself up out of the chair and went over to Rory and Austin. She leaned down to kiss them both on the cheek, a second kiss being placed on the top of Rory's head as she gave his shoulder a squeeze. "I'm so sorry, Braveheart," she whispered against his ear. "I'm sure you can find me if you need anything, okay? You're not alone." She gave him a small smile before she turned to look at Blaise, arching her eyebrow slightly before she held her hand out to him. "This is the part where we make ourselves scarce, and you show me to a room." And once she was out in the hall, there was definitely going to be a suggestion regarding comforting snuggles after he'd had something to eat if he needed it. "We don't need to make it more awkward by continuing to be an audience."
Rory wasn't waiting for them to keep calling the shots all the time, though. He already felt railroaded and confused enough. "I need air," he murmured as he stood shakily and didn't make eye contact with anyone as he left the room. He didn't need anyone making themselves scarce on his part, and he wasn't going to apologise for feeling anything he was feeling in the wake of his brother dying.
Austin just stayed in the chair. He was exhausted. He wasn't sure he could move if he wanted to, and if he tried, he was just going to throw up again. His head was pounding and his heart was aching. He just wet his lips and glanced over at Blaise and Buffy. "Night," he mumbled to them. Seeing them trying to make a hasty get away in the face of things probably wasn't going to do Rory's mood any good, but it was done now, and he had gone for air. Probably loosely translated to mean going out for a smoke or to hit something. If it left him alone with Juliette, so be it. It wasn't like he had the energy to be pissed off at her, even if he thought it sucked that she just cut Rory off like that. When push came to shove, Rory was a good guy and he wasn't a negative person. But he just might not risk love anymore. He might well be happy to just be a father again and not take anything for granted.
Juliette watched the other three leave before she crossed the room to take a seat near Austin. She crossed her legs over as she tried to relax in the presence of her former lover's brother, but it was nearly impossible. She did deserve the wrath of every Buchanan, but if Ros did Embrace Logan, then they would practically be family. She smoothed her hand over her tailored slacks before she met Austin's gaze. "I realise I will never know exactly what was in the letter, and I realise I probably owe the thank you to your wife, not you, but thank you. I only wish that I hadn't hurt Rory in the first place." She hesitated before she reached out for Austin's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm sure what's going on right now with Logan is not something you wish to think about, cherie, but Ros will look after him. I promise."
Austin drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He really felt sick and exhausted. He couldn't stop to think what was going on upstairs or he would cry, and he wouldn't be able to stop. He didn't want Logan to die, and he really didn't want him Embraced, either. He wanted him living and healthy and not dying. But that was just his younger brother instincts kicking in. He never coped when either of his brothers were upset or hurt. Now he just had to live through them both being just that, with it all climaxing in Logan dying in front of him, under his hands. "I dinnae mind how much you've talked to anyone aboot it. I guess to Blaise shitloads, and that makes sense. I mean, he's like your husband, just withoot the romantic sex, right? Or something like that. I cannae say I really know a hell of a lot aboot any of that. Just what I needed to. But what you should know is that, aye, you hurt him, but it was hurt on top of hurt already there. It was always going to come crashing doon harder. You were the first person he seemed to have... shown interest in since his wife. I guess he couldnae handle when you pushed him away. You probably think the whole Kindred thing was a big factor, but it wasnae, lassie. His broken heart was enough of a factor to overrule everything else. As for Logan, I just... lived in a wee fantasy world. Didnae think this day would actually come."
Juliette looked down at her feet as she thought about before she'd cut Rory off. Their brief times together. Her studio seemed to be filling up more and more with portraits of the Hunter created from memory. It was probably bordering on obsessive, but Juliette had no other way to express her feelings. "I love him. I know you will not believe me, but I do. Despite the fact that what I did hurt him, I really was trying to save him from more hurt. I didn't know that it would lead to him being attacked. How could I? I thought if I cut him off like Blaise had cut off Buffy that I would be saving him from realising that he regretted opening his heart up to me. Perhaps the Kindred thing is not at the forefront of things, but how can it not be present in his thoughts? I am the one thing he seems to so easily despise. I didn't want to find out that he thought I was a mistake. All I ever wanted to do was protect him."
Austin had his head resting back against the sofa and was effecting looking down his nose at her, but it wasn't in any sort of arrogant way. His head was just too heavy to hold up anymore, his eyes never left her face as she spoke. He held his hands up. "I cannae judge, lassie. I married my Medic as a dare and fell in love with her. Love isnae something I'm even going to try and begin to understand. It found me when I wasnae even looking for it. I was never looking for it. And oot there, really, really nay the most romantic of settings. We consummated our marriage on a portable stretcher when we were both covered in grime and sweat. Just really wasnae one for the wedding magazines, by any account. But it was the best fecking sex of my life," he told her with a small flicker of his lips in a tiny smirk. "I just want you to stop and have a wee think on something for me for a wee bit though. Have you realised that you did to Rory exactly what Logan did? Cut him off to protect him? Nay word, nay explanation. Just nothing. My god, you wouldnae believe how much I yelled at Logan for that, but he dug his heels in so deeply. But Rory just let him go. He was too tired to fight. Think aboot that for a wee minute."
Juliette's own lips quirked as held Austin's gaze while he spoke about his wife. "No wonder Blaise likes you. You might not have been looking for love, but you've found it. No one needs a wedding that looks good. It's about heart, and about what's in your soul. Strange coming from me, I know. My Clan pride themselves on being beautiful, and being incredibly good looking. I still know that it is not always possible to be so. Not when it's about being honest with the one you love. Personally, the way you consummated your marriage sounds fine to me." She tilted her head as she listened to him and then fell quiet as she did as he asked. "I just don't know how I can make it up to him."
Austin was playing absentmindedly with the ring that was hanging on a chain around his neck as he listened. After a moment, and with a small frown, he tugged the chain and broke it, cupping the ring in his palm before he slipped it onto his ring finger and pushed it down in place. It was the first chance he had to actually wear it properly. He couldn't wear jewellery out on the front line. He'd end up getting his finger torn off or something, and he hadn't been able to wear it while he was keeping the marriage a secret. Still, it felt oddly right on his finger. Right and familiar. "You might nay be able to make it up to him, and if I'm honest, he probably doesnae want you to. Rory's nay a grudge holder. That sounds laughable, aye? And you'll want to disagree with me, but to be fair, he still stuck aroond, and he still stayed civil with you. He wasnae holding a grudge, he was just trying to deal the best he could. I dinnae mind how he will go with all this, especially trying to deal with Logan being Embraced. But it will be eye-opening for him. Whether he wants to or nay, he will go into Logan's world to help him. He just will. We both will. That means going into your world. He just might need to take wee steps to get there."
"Oui, bien sur," Juliette murmured with a nod. "I wouldn't ask him to just rush in. And I know if he was ever to forgive me, to grant me a second chance... it would be a miracle. One I will gladly embrace." She winced at her choice of wording before giving Austin an apologetic look. "I will do anything I can to help Logan adjust in the mean time. I do not wish to make his transition worse. He will have enough to adjust to becoming Kindred, and becoming Aidan's mate. You should have your wife here," she added as she changed tracks, her voice staying soft. "I know you will disagree, but there are some things a true mate can provide that family can't. She will want to be here for you. Trust me."
Austin swallowed heavily and closed his eyes for a few moments. "I know it sounds hypocritical, but I'm just nay sure I want to bring her into all this yet. Maybe after Logan is... um... in his skin? I dinnae really know all the right terminology. And I wasnae lying, she really does an important job oot there. Some days, she works harder than me, and I'm a Sergeant. I have the whole unit in my hands. She has their lives in hers. If she comes here, all she is going to feel is helpless. Just like the rest of us, and that's nay a nice feeling. Plus, Rory is just going to feel like everyone is pairing up aroond him. I dinnae know the right or wrong answers. I'm just terrified of the whole thing, and that's nay an emotion I let myself feel very often. It means a situation is completely oot of my control."
Juliette smiled in understanding before she leaned back in her chair. "Then perhaps just write her a letter and we can get it to her. She'll at least want to know that you're okay. She'll probably be happy to find out that you're thinking about her. It makes a woman feel special. I don't think she'll appreciate learning all this after the fact. Even if she'll feel useless, she'll still want to know what's going on. She does admirable work, Austin. She will still want to know what's going on with you."
Austin gave her a faint, tired smile. "I've been writing her a letter a day since I left Afghanistan. She told me nay to send them unless they were at least three pages long, so I'm going to come oot with RSI, but it's worth it. I'll just put in a request for a radio call with her. If she can make it, she will. We all thought we had longer, though. He just slipped away so quickly. I'm glad he's nay going to be in pain anymore. It was so hard watching him lose the simplest of functions..." Some more tears slipped down Austin's cheeks, but he made no attempt to wipe them away. Logan deserved to be grieved for. "I know it seems like you have an impossible battle to fight with Rory. Probably feels like he hates you. But he doesnae know how to take any of this. Logan's been there for us both since day one. There's pictures of him back hame sitting with us both as bairns, even though he was really just one himself. Isnae too much time between us all. Probably why we were so close in the early days."
"I'm sure the RSI will be worth it, cherie, and I'm sure your wife will appreciate the letters very much. Letter writing is a dying art, I must admit. It's not often these days that people give and receive the written word. It's all digital. I hope you get your call. I'm sure you'll appreciate the contact even if you don't want to give yourself hope of getting it. Was Rory losing his family really the reason you all grew apart? Or was there always something more to it? To see you now, to witness how quickly you were both at Logan's side, I can't believe you were ever apart. Even to see how you and Logan came straight to Rory's side was impressive."
Pain washed over Austin's face and he gave a small shake of his head. "I hated it, which is a lot to say from me, because I was preparing to go away to England for the Army. It's something I always wanted to do, though. No doubt aboot it. Rory fell apart when he lost his family. We seriously nearly had him on suicide watch he was so distressed. I think Hunting is what gave him a reason to keep going, a way to search but help at the same time. He fell in with some old school Hunters who had been tracking Scotland for years and years. But the only way he could cope was to isolate himself. I mean, he didnae cut us off completely. We still kept in touch at Christmas, birthdays. It just so happened then that Logan met Aidan, and it was Logan who cut ties with Rory to protect Aidan. It's hard to even know exactly how it all went doon. Rory didnae know aboot Logan's drowning, nothing. I think that's where a lot of the anger is coming from, too. He didnae understand. How would he? Logan thought Rory would Hunt Kindred, nay kowing that Rory is actually a Hunter who sort of functions to protect you guys. Especially since Airlie. Which I didnae know aboot. Rory has only told me that recently. I nearly crapped myself when I found out. Airlie... ach, such a sweet wee lassie. Gorgeous voice, natural talent. It was a tragedy she got turned. But before Rory started pushing us away, we were as tight as brothers could be. Still pulled the piss a lot mind, but we always had each other's backs. I got locked in the middle of that."
Juliette rubbed her fingers against her forehead as she looked from Austin to her lap, her shoulders slumping slightly. To hear that she really did have parallels with how Logan had cut off Rory was saddening. No wonder it had compounded on the Hunter. He was probably having flashbacks on top of already feeling hurt and cut off. Maybe he'd tried to harden himself to it, but obviously he wasn't that immune to his feelings. Juliette had obviously dug the knife into the already deep wound. "I feel sorry that he had to deal with Airlie on his own. To be left with a Childer without much knowledge of how to nurse them through the transition is tough. Unlike Blaise, she did at least have someone with her. I never meant to hurt him, I really did just want to protect him. Do you think that even when Logan is Kindred that you might be able to mend the rift between you all?"
"It's already healing," Austin admitted with a small smile. "I know it doesnae seem like it, but it is. The fact they have been in the same room together is huge. But you have to know Rory. If nothing else, he is so deeply, deeply loyal and protective of his family. Whatever the past between them, as soon as he knew Logan was dying, he would have been at his side, no questions asked, no matter what. It's just the way we are. And I know he's devastated at the time they lost. He feels like he failed Logan, that none of this would have happened if they kept in touch. But for every sliver of guilt Rory feels, I feel just as much. Knowing you cannae wind things back and fix it... fix him... it's... it hurts like hell," he admitted hoarsely.
Juliette moved next to Austin as she pulled him into a gentle hug, careful to keep her hold loose when she still didn't know him that well. She wasn't even sure the hug would be welcome, but it was something she felt compelled to do. Austin's heart was breaking over watching Logan die just like Rory's had. The only difference was that Austin could actually talk to her, open up to her even just a little. She felt like she could try and comfort him. With Rory, she still felt a need to keep her distance. "The pain will ease eventually, cherie. Unfortunately, you will still be going through the motions of grief before we have any idea whether or not Logan's survived the Embrace. And if he has, there is still the chance he will change. You will need to grieve the old Logan."
Austin hugged her back, grateful for the gesture. He couldn't deny it, he needed it. It was why he knew Rory needed it too, but Rory was just too scared to accept it or to admit he couldn't go it alone when things got tough. "I thought the wait for him to die was the worst, but it's nay. This is going to be so much worse. I dinnae even mind so much aboot any of that. I didnae think he would choose it. It's all just... it came so quick, it took me by surprise. Nay sure I really knew how to be prepared for it. I knew on the plane he was going. It's hard to explain, but I could just see something leaving his eyes. I was deluded. Just tried telling me he was tired, needed a wee sleep. It's just hard for me to wrap my head aroond the fact he is going to be Kindred, and everything that comes with it. I cannae. I tried, but my head just hurts."
Juliette rubbed her hand softly against his back and smiled slightly. "I think he was just trying to protect you all. Why would he tell you he was dying when he just wanted to try and make the most of whatever time there was left? He didn't want the two of you watching him like a hawk because at any moment you would drop. I don't think he really wanted to say goodbye, even if he was trying to say goodbye. Does that make sense? You don't need to think about him as Kindred. It's alright to find it daunting. In fact it's natural. You'll be finding your feet just like he will."
"Oh fuck," Austin suddenly mumbled and then dug around in the pocket of his jeans and pulled out two envelopes. One had his name on the front, and one had Rory's. "He gave these to me on the plane, told me he would pay someone to give me a wedgie if I opened them before he died. I just remembered now. I guess it's goodbyes. God, I cannae even stop to think what is written in here now. I cannae even think. Somehow we have to arrange a funeral for a body that isnae even going in the coffin. Our folks... we have a lot of extended family. They'll need it. How the hell do you go through something like that? I dinnae even know how to take any of this. We need to tell our Ma' and Da'. God, they wanted to see him when he got here, one last time."
Juliette gave Austin the space he needed to get out the letter before she ran her hand over his short cropped hair. "There'll be time to get your parents here. They can see him. I'm just not sure that you'll be able to promise an open casket at the funeral. There's always the possibility of having him cremated. It could cover for the lack of body. If anyone tries to carry the casket however, they might work out that there is no body in it." She glanced down at the letter in Austin's hand. "You should read that on your own, cherie. It is not my business what's in it. If you need anything, come and find me. Or do not be afraid to ask any of Ros' staff. They are here for anything you need."
Austin gave a small laugh as he looked over at the large window nearby. "He thought of everything in advance," he realised in a murmur. "He told our folks he didnae want them seeing him after he died. Didnae want an open casket, either. He made some joke about no doubt having a bad hair day and them nay being able to match a foundation to his skin tone, but I can see now what he was doing. He never really wrote Embrace off. He just needed to understand it more first. I guess we could put something in the coffin..." He looked at the letter with a small sigh. He was exhausted, but he knew he wouldn't sleep tonight. He glanced up her. "Cheers for listening, Juliette. Just mind that you must've been something pretty special for Rory to finally put his heart back up for the taking. Just a shame how it all took a bad turn, is all."
"Oui, a shame," she said quietly before she kissed Austin's forehead. She stood up to leave Austin to it after telling him good night, resisting an urge to seek Rory out. He had wanted air, and she was probably the last person he wanted to see. Clearing things between them would have to wait until he was ready. She still doubted that she would ever make up for the pain she'd caused him. He'd risked his heart, and she'd given him every reason to believe that it wouldn't ever be worth it again. She'd had her chance and lost it.
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