Vampires, Werewolves and Night, Oh My!
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just finished watching "VAN HELSING" on a rented DVD, and even though the DVD sometimes skipped (grumble grumble obstinate technology mucking everyfing up grumble) it was just...WOW! I mean, yes, most of it was campy implausible "Plot? What Plot? Where?" random stuff, but some of it was incredible! Like Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And David Wenham. And Will Kemp. And the wolf-y poem stol--er, borrowed from Lon Chaney Jr's "Wolf Man" movie. And Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And David Wenham. And Will Kemp. And the cinematography and use of lighting and shadows and angles. And wicked cool toys like those spinning flying sharp wheel-type thingies, or that crossbow that shoots like a frillion arrows a second, or that stuff from Mount Vesuvius that for a really good reason that doesn't come to mind right now acts as, like, a second sun or something. Literally, it produces light/heat/energy/horrible vampiric death just like the sun. And the whole "left hand of G-D, Angel Gabriel v. Count Dracula" plot. And the absolutely phenemonally beautiful opera-like soundtrack score/music/vocalizing. And Lupinwolf Helsingwolf. Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And David Wenham. And Will Kemp. Did I mention Hugh Jackman and Richard Roxburgh and David Wenham and Will Kemp?
The movie opens in black and white, just like one of those horror films from the 30s and 40s, and there's the traditional Angry Mob with Torches and Pitchforks -- and battering rams! Upgrade! Cool!
And I'm thinking that Dracula and Erik have a lot in common. I swear, Joel Shumacher must have watched this movie cause in VAN HELSING's masquerade ball scene, it's like an older version of Phantom, with the ornate chandeliers and long tables and people in costumes and the whole " 'evil' man tries to get the girl to fall in love with him through honeyed words and passionate hands" thing.
And now Erik and Dracula have banded together and vowed to lock me in a soundproof room with Carlotta on a BAD day unless I do a fanfic about them...Oy.
Oh, and Grantaire just fainted from disbelief at the waste of perfectly good absinthe. (Early on in the movie a windmill's on fire and we see lotsandlotsandlotsandlots of empty absinthe bottles.) And now he's sober and loudly declaiming the waste of perfectly good absinthe. And now he's yelling at the top of his lungs to make sure no one ELSE wastes perfectly good absinthe...
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was written by Stephen Sommers, who also wrote "THE MUMMY" with Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr, John Hannah and Brendan Fraser and Kevin J. O'Connor, as well as "THE MUMMY RETURNS" with Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr, John Hannah and Brendan Fraser, so I knew it was going to be a spectular piece. Campy spectacular piece, yay!
AND Alun Armstrong was in it, the guy who sang Thenardier at the Les Miserables in Concert at the Royal Albert Hall in 1995! YAY!
Oh, and Hugh? Viggo called -- he wants his hat back. (This is funny only if you have seen "HIDALGO" with Viggo Mortensen, whose hat is, to me, almost identical to the one Hugh wears in "VAN HELSING".)
HughJackmanDavidWenhamRichardRoxburghWillKempsqueeeeeeeeeee! *Swoooooooooooon* Waaaaaay too many hot guys to choose from! (drools) (wipes off lake forming on keyboard)
Edited because I forgot to add that if I were in a slash-happy mood I would SOOOOOOOOO slash this movie! I tawt I taw a slashy-fest! I DID! I DID taw a slashy-fest!
Aleera/Anna
Aleera/Marishka
Aleera/Verona
Dracula/Velkan
Dracula/Victor Frankenstein
Marishka/Verona
Van Helsing/Carl
Van Helsing/Velkan
Van Helsing/Dracula
I just finished watching "VAN HELSING" on a rented DVD, and even though the DVD sometimes skipped (grumble grumble obstinate technology mucking everyfing up grumble) it was just...WOW! I mean, yes, most of it was campy implausible "Plot? What Plot? Where?" random stuff, but some of it was incredible! Like Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And David Wenham. And Will Kemp. And the wolf-y poem stol--er, borrowed from Lon Chaney Jr's "Wolf Man" movie. And Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And David Wenham. And Will Kemp. And the cinematography and use of lighting and shadows and angles. And wicked cool toys like those spinning flying sharp wheel-type thingies, or that crossbow that shoots like a frillion arrows a second, or that stuff from Mount Vesuvius that for a really good reason that doesn't come to mind right now acts as, like, a second sun or something. Literally, it produces light/heat/energy/horrible vampiric death just like the sun. And the whole "left hand of G-D, Angel Gabriel v. Count Dracula" plot. And the absolutely phenemonally beautiful opera-like soundtrack score/music/vocalizing. And Lupinwolf Helsingwolf. Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And Hugh Jackman. And Richard Roxburgh. And David Wenham. And Will Kemp. Did I mention Hugh Jackman and Richard Roxburgh and David Wenham and Will Kemp?
The movie opens in black and white, just like one of those horror films from the 30s and 40s, and there's the traditional Angry Mob with Torches and Pitchforks -- and battering rams! Upgrade! Cool!
And I'm thinking that Dracula and Erik have a lot in common. I swear, Joel Shumacher must have watched this movie cause in VAN HELSING's masquerade ball scene, it's like an older version of Phantom, with the ornate chandeliers and long tables and people in costumes and the whole " 'evil' man tries to get the girl to fall in love with him through honeyed words and passionate hands" thing.
And now Erik and Dracula have banded together and vowed to lock me in a soundproof room with Carlotta on a BAD day unless I do a fanfic about them...Oy.
Oh, and Grantaire just fainted from disbelief at the waste of perfectly good absinthe. (Early on in the movie a windmill's on fire and we see lotsandlotsandlotsandlots of empty absinthe bottles.) And now he's sober and loudly declaiming the waste of perfectly good absinthe. And now he's yelling at the top of his lungs to make sure no one ELSE wastes perfectly good absinthe...
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was written by Stephen Sommers, who also wrote "THE MUMMY" with Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr, John Hannah and Brendan Fraser and Kevin J. O'Connor, as well as "THE MUMMY RETURNS" with Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr, John Hannah and Brendan Fraser, so I knew it was going to be a spectular piece. Campy spectacular piece, yay!
AND Alun Armstrong was in it, the guy who sang Thenardier at the Les Miserables in Concert at the Royal Albert Hall in 1995! YAY!
Oh, and Hugh? Viggo called -- he wants his hat back. (This is funny only if you have seen "HIDALGO" with Viggo Mortensen, whose hat is, to me, almost identical to the one Hugh wears in "VAN HELSING".)
HughJackmanDavidWenhamRichardRoxburghWillKempsqueeeeeeeeeee! *Swoooooooooooon* Waaaaaay too many hot guys to choose from! (drools) (wipes off lake forming on keyboard)
Edited because I forgot to add that if I were in a slash-happy mood I would SOOOOOOOOO slash this movie! I tawt I taw a slashy-fest! I DID! I DID taw a slashy-fest!
Aleera/Anna
Aleera/Marishka
Aleera/Verona
Dracula/Velkan
Dracula/Victor Frankenstein
Marishka/Verona
Van Helsing/Carl
Van Helsing/Velkan
Van Helsing/Dracula