(no subject)
Today is one of my bad says i think, not in terms of bad things happening but in terms of my self-confidence. My mind goes in a spiral with ugly thoughts about myself, but it starts of with simple things, like ronnie saying "hey sexy". I'm not sure why that would start the spiral but from some reason it does. My self confidence goes down from there. I start to make mistakes which makes it even worse.
Then i suppose it hits that I'm going home to an empty apartment, nothing there expect my cat. The quiet can sometimes be discomforting almost alienating you from the rest of society.
Then i look at myself and see the weight I've put on, but I'm not motivated enought to do anything about it. Yeah today is one of my bad days, but there aren't as bad as they use to be.
At the bottom of the spiral I can at least see an end, and I can at least see my way back up.