Craziness
Ok, I know I’m a really bad LJ’er…..Its been a long time since I’ve written something up; so I figured I would try and say something just so everyone knows I’m alive. Responses are welcome because I’m an attention Hog…
The past few weeks have been utter craziness! My move date has been bounced back and forth which makes things so much harder when you’re trying to find a place and move. My new and final move date is Jan 2, 2006. As my time here in DC gets shorter and shorter I get more and more excited about my new home in the Fort Lauderdale/ Miami area but I’m also more and more depressed that I’m leaving everything I’ve ever loved behind. My poor mom is having a really hard time and calls me like every other day crying about how much she is going to miss me. My friends in Baltimore are begging me to stay. It’s depressing!! I shouldn’t be this depressed…..people should be happy for me that I’m making a change in my life that’s for my best interest. What they don’t understand is their depression is rubbing off! I’ve been avoiding hanging out with friends, making new friends, I haven’t been going out much,; I’ve been barricading myself in my home to avoid the sadness of seeing my friends and thinking “wow…once I leave, I’ll probably never see them again” Its almost like I want to forget about everything…but I just can’t. I don’t want to leave everything I love behind…but I really need to do this for myself. I need to move on! So I want to apologize to everyone whom I promised to hang out with and haven’t yet! Its not that I don’t want to hang out...i’m just in a funk….but I’m trying to pull myself out; I’ll kick myself in the bum later if I don’t because I would have missed out on all the friendships I’ve could have had.
So with being depressed with moving, I decided to get online and try to meet guys down in Florida to help get my mind off leaving all my friends and family behind. If you remember, my last post mentioned I had met this awesome guy whom made me feel great and very excited. I think I got myself overly excited on this one like always. He decided to come visit me a few weekends ago and we had a great time…well at least I thought we were having a great time. Before we met, this guy and I had been talking like every night for at least an hour or so on the phone, we would exchange emails during the day, as well as text message each other. This had been going on for a few weeks or so before we met. Well, once we met and he left…..I never got another phone call, email or text message. I would receive like one quick email from him, only if I sent him one first. I told you all in the beginning I love attention, but when one shows me a lot of attention and then pulls away real fast….it drives me up the wall. I didn’t know what to do because I developed some feelings on the guy and he left me high and dry. When I questioned him about it...he claims he had been too busy…but he was busy before and always made time for me. Oh well…His loss is all I can say! Still saddens me though that I asked him to be honest and direct with me and he completely did the opposite. It really makes me feel used….like he got what he wanted and rolled out. I’m sure that’s not the case but that’s how I’m feeling right about now =( I’m trying not to let this ordeal get to me…it’s the way things are sometimes and yes it did hurt in the beginning but I’m getting over it fast. I wish I could just learn to take things slow with people and not rush so fast into something grrrrrrr lol I need one of those electronic “shocking” collars they use to put on dogs for when they would try to leave the vicinity of their home. They need to put one on me for when I meet someone and start moving fast with them…I can be “shocked” back into reality. Lol
Sorry for babbling on and on but I had to get this off my chest. I’ve met some really nice people on here and I value everyone’s opinion.
So please respond…say hi! I could use a little pick me up this morning hehe
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! My mom decided last min that she doesn’t want to cook and so were not having thanksgiving….grrrr Time to seek alternate plans for a Thanksgiving dinner!!!
The past few weeks have been utter craziness! My move date has been bounced back and forth which makes things so much harder when you’re trying to find a place and move. My new and final move date is Jan 2, 2006. As my time here in DC gets shorter and shorter I get more and more excited about my new home in the Fort Lauderdale/ Miami area but I’m also more and more depressed that I’m leaving everything I’ve ever loved behind. My poor mom is having a really hard time and calls me like every other day crying about how much she is going to miss me. My friends in Baltimore are begging me to stay. It’s depressing!! I shouldn’t be this depressed…..people should be happy for me that I’m making a change in my life that’s for my best interest. What they don’t understand is their depression is rubbing off! I’ve been avoiding hanging out with friends, making new friends, I haven’t been going out much,; I’ve been barricading myself in my home to avoid the sadness of seeing my friends and thinking “wow…once I leave, I’ll probably never see them again” Its almost like I want to forget about everything…but I just can’t. I don’t want to leave everything I love behind…but I really need to do this for myself. I need to move on! So I want to apologize to everyone whom I promised to hang out with and haven’t yet! Its not that I don’t want to hang out...i’m just in a funk….but I’m trying to pull myself out; I’ll kick myself in the bum later if I don’t because I would have missed out on all the friendships I’ve could have had.
So with being depressed with moving, I decided to get online and try to meet guys down in Florida to help get my mind off leaving all my friends and family behind. If you remember, my last post mentioned I had met this awesome guy whom made me feel great and very excited. I think I got myself overly excited on this one like always. He decided to come visit me a few weekends ago and we had a great time…well at least I thought we were having a great time. Before we met, this guy and I had been talking like every night for at least an hour or so on the phone, we would exchange emails during the day, as well as text message each other. This had been going on for a few weeks or so before we met. Well, once we met and he left…..I never got another phone call, email or text message. I would receive like one quick email from him, only if I sent him one first. I told you all in the beginning I love attention, but when one shows me a lot of attention and then pulls away real fast….it drives me up the wall. I didn’t know what to do because I developed some feelings on the guy and he left me high and dry. When I questioned him about it...he claims he had been too busy…but he was busy before and always made time for me. Oh well…His loss is all I can say! Still saddens me though that I asked him to be honest and direct with me and he completely did the opposite. It really makes me feel used….like he got what he wanted and rolled out. I’m sure that’s not the case but that’s how I’m feeling right about now =( I’m trying not to let this ordeal get to me…it’s the way things are sometimes and yes it did hurt in the beginning but I’m getting over it fast. I wish I could just learn to take things slow with people and not rush so fast into something grrrrrrr lol I need one of those electronic “shocking” collars they use to put on dogs for when they would try to leave the vicinity of their home. They need to put one on me for when I meet someone and start moving fast with them…I can be “shocked” back into reality. Lol
Sorry for babbling on and on but I had to get this off my chest. I’ve met some really nice people on here and I value everyone’s opinion.
So please respond…say hi! I could use a little pick me up this morning hehe
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! My mom decided last min that she doesn’t want to cook and so were not having thanksgiving….grrrr Time to seek alternate plans for a Thanksgiving dinner!!!