Vampires were people too
I just finished season one of True Blood, so I'm gonna yell about True Blood some more.
Cool? Cool.
Okay, so my observations about Vampire Bill continue to be right. MOST BORING VAMPIRE EVER.
I mean Jesus Christ, while the other vampires are out on the town in their pun-based nightclubs or making useful members of society of themselves by crusading for vampire rights, Vampire Bill is playing Wii Golf on his projector setup. Even normal humans aren't this lame. GET A JOB, VAMPIRE BILL!
sockkiah wondered what Vampire Bill's Mii looks like, and Googling for it I found this which I think is about right. Note the glazed expression and the mouth hinged open as if saying something I don't care about.
Vampire Bill even goes to court for killin' a man in the most boring way possible. He's set up as this big rebel character - OOOOH Vampire Bill is "mainstreaming" what balls! OOOOH Vampire Bill is in love with a human no vamp dares do that! Bullshit. As soon as he gets in front of the court, and they're like "We sentence you to do evil stuff," he's like "Aw, man" and does evil stuff.
[Tangent: This show has more "Isn't that the guy from...?" actors on it than just about any show I've ever watched. The head of the court was driving me nuts because I couldn't figure out what other show he'd been on. Then it hit me.
Me: "It's the guy who couldn't breath, from House! The shooter!"
SK: "Oh yeah, it is!"
Me: "He still can't breathe!"
SK: "Because he's a vampire!"
Both: LOLing obnoxiously
Don't ever watch TV with us.]
Anyway, late this season Sam basically becomes fascinating and badass and deserving of Sookie-smooches while Vampire Bill ends the season by doing the SINGLE MOST INEFFECTUAL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN A VAMPIRE DO ON TV. HOLY FUCK MAN, WHY DO YOU EVEN EXIST.
I MEAN REALLY.
IT'S JUST
AUUGH
I CAN'T EVEN.
As sockkiah points out, even Spike (WHO IS HALF DRUNK MOST OF THE TIMES HE DOES THIS FYI) remembers to throw on a blanket when he WALKS OUT INTO DIRECT BLAZING SUNLIGHT.
So basically the only good thing Vampire Bill has done this entire season is siring Jessica, who immediately started cussing and making fun of him the moment she woke up as a vampire and instantly made herself one of my favorite characters for it. (She also looks and sounds exactly like Jessie from Toy Story 2, if Jessie were a freshly minted teenage vampire and not a cowgirl doll.)
GET A JOB, VAMPIRE BILL. Maybe they'll let you be a greeter at the Walmart.
Cool? Cool.
Okay, so my observations about Vampire Bill continue to be right. MOST BORING VAMPIRE EVER.
I mean Jesus Christ, while the other vampires are out on the town in their pun-based nightclubs or making useful members of society of themselves by crusading for vampire rights, Vampire Bill is playing Wii Golf on his projector setup. Even normal humans aren't this lame. GET A JOB, VAMPIRE BILL!
sockkiah wondered what Vampire Bill's Mii looks like, and Googling for it I found this which I think is about right. Note the glazed expression and the mouth hinged open as if saying something I don't care about.
Vampire Bill even goes to court for killin' a man in the most boring way possible. He's set up as this big rebel character - OOOOH Vampire Bill is "mainstreaming" what balls! OOOOH Vampire Bill is in love with a human no vamp dares do that! Bullshit. As soon as he gets in front of the court, and they're like "We sentence you to do evil stuff," he's like "Aw, man" and does evil stuff.
[Tangent: This show has more "Isn't that the guy from...?" actors on it than just about any show I've ever watched. The head of the court was driving me nuts because I couldn't figure out what other show he'd been on. Then it hit me.
Me: "It's the guy who couldn't breath, from House! The shooter!"
SK: "Oh yeah, it is!"
Me: "He still can't breathe!"
SK: "Because he's a vampire!"
Both: LOLing obnoxiously
Don't ever watch TV with us.]
Anyway, late this season Sam basically becomes fascinating and badass and deserving of Sookie-smooches while Vampire Bill ends the season by doing the SINGLE MOST INEFFECTUAL THING I HAVE EVER SEEN A VAMPIRE DO ON TV. HOLY FUCK MAN, WHY DO YOU EVEN EXIST.
I MEAN REALLY.
IT'S JUST
AUUGH
I CAN'T EVEN.
As sockkiah points out, even Spike (WHO IS HALF DRUNK MOST OF THE TIMES HE DOES THIS FYI) remembers to throw on a blanket when he WALKS OUT INTO DIRECT BLAZING SUNLIGHT.
So basically the only good thing Vampire Bill has done this entire season is siring Jessica, who immediately started cussing and making fun of him the moment she woke up as a vampire and instantly made herself one of my favorite characters for it. (She also looks and sounds exactly like Jessie from Toy Story 2, if Jessie were a freshly minted teenage vampire and not a cowgirl doll.)
GET A JOB, VAMPIRE BILL. Maybe they'll let you be a greeter at the Walmart.