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About You
Name: Becky
Age: 29
Location: EST
E-mail: bhoadley@gmail.com
AIM sn: BeckyWriting
Yahoo! sn: BoyblaiseZ
Other contacts:bhoadley on google-talk
What's the secret password:flobberworm
RP Experience : I started RPing in HP three, almost four, years ago with the most god awful gary-stu that has ever seen the internet -I improved with time, but I'm still grateful those early journals have vanished. Examples of more recent rp can be found at Wx_drake and WX_summers, writing is at Becky_writing
About the Character
Full Name: Remus John Lupin
Date of Birth/Age: March 10/ 40
Parents: John and Mary Lupin.
Siblings and Other Family of Note: No siblings, or particularly notable family, though I suppose Fenrir could count.
Home: Wales, then Hogwarts, then he traveled about a lot. He settled briefly with Sirius at Grimmuald, then went to spy for Dumbledore with Fenrir's 'pack', then more travel, then back to Hogwarts.
House (if a Hogwarts student): Gryffindor, when he was there.
Wand: 10 inches, Oak, dragon heartstring
Favorite subjects: D.A.D.A. He liked, and likes, it both because he's good at it and because it is as close as he'll allow himself to come with playing with the Dark Arts. Also, there's a definite appreciation for the irony of a dark creature defending against dark magic.
Least favorite subjects (as above): Potions and Care of Magical Creatures are nearly tied for the title, but for very different reasons. Remus dislikes potions because they play havoc with his heightened senses. His dislike of Care of Magical Creatures is largely because creatures just plain don't like them. He smells, to them, like a very large and dangerous predator and incites a flight or fight response in most of them. That makes them dislike him and hard for him to work with them.
Profession: Member of Order of the Phoenix, Spy.
Appearance: Remus is tall and skinny rather than just thin. His brown hair needs cut and is streaked with gray, his blue eyes look faded and tired, his robes are *always* shabby. He looks older than he is, but only exactly as tired as he is - which is bloody well exhausted.
Link to PB potential. I'll understand if you prefer David.
Personality (strengths, weaknesses, quirks, etc):
General:
His first impression is of being unimposing and unassuming; he's really not at all remarkably except that he looks very poor, very tired, and frankly sick. He is over-all very polite, intelligent, and soft spoken. He's so soft spoken and mild in fact that he can be hard to argue with - he just simply doesn't. He smiles, nods, and does whatever the hell he wants, anyway. He's very stubborn.
He's got anearly unhealthy obsession for tea and books- tea and books being the only thing he never gave up for very long, no matter how rough his living situation. He spends a lot of his 'down' time reading books and drinking tea. He's the very image of a shabby professor. He always, no matter what, has chocolate somewhere on his person. He does not understand Quidditch or particularly want to. Talking sports with him will have his eyes glazing over quickly. He has excellent control of his physical and emotional responses - or at least how much of them he shows.
Beneath all that there is a man who has lost every person he has ever loved - and a wolf. He is reserved, can be a bit standoffish and aloof. He doesn't make eyecontact often or casually and he doesn't casually touch people. His appetite is ungodly yet he never seems to gain weight. Near the full moon he gets more irritable, his temper gets shorter, and he gets restless. He does not ever allow anyone to see him in the process of transforming.
Relationships : Sirius
Friends: James, Sirius, and at one point Peter, were all very good friends. Harry, the Weasleys, and an assortment of Order Members and former and present students.
Enemies: He really, really, detests Pettigrew and Greyback- would love to feed Pettigrew to Greyback and then rip out Fenrir's throat.
Intended/Past relationships Sirius was a past romantic relationship (assuming Sirius stays dead- if he's in play or will be, I will obviously remove this. There was a very brief 'almost' relationship with Nymphadora (only with mod approval of course), but then she was dead and it wasn't. The player has nothing intended at the moment.
Background:
Remus John Lupin was born to a wizard father and a muggle mother. He had a normal, if someone lonely (he was an only child) childhood. He exhibited magical abilities when he was seven and repaired a broken windowpane without meaning to. He was excited - it meant he got to go to Hogwarts, and he was looking forward to going to the wizarding school he'd heard about. He was really looking forward to having more time with children his age.
He'd already received his letter when his father offended Fenrir Greyback (Remus still doesn't know what his father did that upset him) and Remus was bitten. He wasn't killed, but was instead infected, and his life went straight to hell. When he recovered from the attack he was registered with the Ministry and very nearly didn't get to go to Hogwarts. Dumbledore managed to pull enough strings to get him in, and he went.
The years at Hogwarts were beyond all doubt the best Remus has every had. Remus was quieter, more bookish and more concerned with playing by the rules than James and Sirius - and he was nothing like as Quidditch mad as they were. They didn't always agree, and things weren't always perfect - far from it! - but it was a good time in his life.
Then there was the first War, and Voldemort. Things got harder, but for a while they were okay. James and Lily married, Harry was born and Sirius was the God father. But as the war progressed, things got harder, and started coming apart at the seams. His relationship with Sirius grew steadily more strained as the war progressed. Toward the end they didn't trust one another at all. The only person they did trust was the one they shouldn't have.
The War ended, but it ended with Sirius in jail and his parents, James, Lily, and Peter (he thought) dead. His world had fallen completely apart around him. He blamed himself; he hated Sirius. He hated himself; he blamed Sirius. And of course, he grieved. Remus stayed around just long enough to see Harry with his family - he wasn't (and isn't) legally considered a person by the Ministry. He certainly couldn't have taken him in legally and after all that had happened he wouldn't have trusted himself to, even if it would have been allowed.
The decade (plus a year) that followed was not a happy one. He'd lost his family, biological and chosen. He traveled, between the muggle world and the wizarding one, staying largely to extremely remote areas where the risk of injuring innocents during the full moon was the lowest, and tried to forget. He worked hard to bury the memory of Sirius with James, Lily, and Peter, and the difficulty of simple survival in a world that denied him even basic human rights (Werewolves were, and are, classified as Dark Creatures) was difficult enough that he almost, if never quite, managed.
When Sirius escaped Azkaban and was said to be headed for Hogwarts, Dumbledore called him back. He didn't particularly want to but it was his responsibility (as far as he was concerned) and he wasn't going to avoid it. He knew he could transform there safely, and was promised a supply of wolfsbane. He returned as a professor, and met Harry for the first time on the train. Harry really did look like James.
For the next nine months he tried to teach Harry what he needed to know to fight Dementors, without betraying who he was. Watching Harry, with Ron and Hermione, was like seeing James, Sirius, and himself years ago (he, if anyone is interested, associated himself as Hermione, Ron as Sirius, and Harry of course as James). It was bittersweet - the bitter being the conviction that Sirius was there, and trying to finish what he'd begun - killing Harry.
Finding out that it was Peter who had betrayed them, that had cost James and Lily their lives, seeing Sirius - or what was left of him - was. To say it was shock is an understatement. It was gut wrenchingly painful, and he was in those moments more angry than he had ever been. The sheer, bloody, hate he felt for Peter has never really left him. As proud as he honestly was of Harry for talking them out of killing Peter, not killing Pettigrew, anyway, is one of his greatest regrets.
When Snape outted him to the school as a werewolf and the school year had ended Sirius was long gone, and was being hunted by the Ministry. He wasn't angry at Snape - he honestly did agree that he was a threat and danger to the school - but he was also relieved. He trusted Harry with Dumbledore at the school, and he wanted to at least try to find Sirius. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he had to at least try and do it.
So, he left and traveled and went to look for Sirius. It was a bit less than a year when they found each other, with some interference from Dumbledore They stayed together at Grimmuald for quite some time. He - they- worked with Order of the Phoenix, and they worked on their 'relationship'. Which is to say that Sirius was paranoid and broken from time in Azkaban with hate as his only focus. Remus had his own baggage after all those years as a social outcast. He wanted, though, desperately to fix Sirius, and fix them. There were some spectacular fights, but they were trying.
They tried right up to the battle at The Department of Mysteries when Sirius fell through the veil and Remus had to hold Harry to keep him from following Sirius through the veil. All he could think was that they hadn't quite made it back, and when he grieved this time it was for the opportunity that had been lost, and all the potential Sirius had had, beautiful and laughing, when he'd been a student.
He broke. He broke completely and without drama. He just shut quietly down.
He continued to work with The Order and went to infiltrate the group of Werewolves lead by Fenrir. Gathering the information was necessary, it was a job that needed to be done if it could be - to find out their allegiances and what he could of Voldemort's plans. More than that it was the opportunity to continue to work For The Order, against Voldemort, and to do it without having to live like a civilized human being, and see Harry's face. As much as he loved James and loves Harry, the cost paid to keep him alive was something that Remus was beginning to feel a bit too personally. He needed the time.
He stayed with the werwolves until the end of that Summer. Life there was brutally, viscously, primal and hard. It was also gruesome. He saw and did things that he will haunt him for the rest of his life; as though the lives and deaths of Sirius, James, and Lily weren't enough. It also gave him an up close and intimate look at why Werewolves are considered Dark Creatures to be feared rather than people - and why Voldemort has to be stopped. Remus has seen what the world will be if Voldemort wins.
He reported to The Order, faithfully throughout. It was during those reports that he first met Tonks.It was his relationship (the one that never quite was) with Nymphadora (who somehow reminded him of Sirius - maybe it was the vivaciousness, maybe it was the tenacity, maybe it was just how loud she could be, and how insecure) that gave him his perspective back and kept him from falling off the edge he'd teetered, however briefly, on.
His balance close enough to regained, and ready to face this thing in a more direct and civilized way, Remus extracted himself at the end of the summer. He arrived just in time to find Tonk's dead.
He is, not to put too fine a point on it, pissed off. He's angry at Peter, he'd very much like to rip Fenrir's throat out, but he's also just angry. He's more determined to see this thing over than he has ever been, he's less playful and his humor, once gentle, is now more often cutting. In general, though, his outward demeanor has changed very little.
He is, if nothing, very good at controlling himself.
Sexual Orientation: Perfectly bisexual. Sexual attraction is a complicated (or very simple) thing with Remus, but it isn't determined by gender.
Kinks: He doesn't have any, he swears. (D/s, more than B/D or S/M. It's not about power play, it's about power. Structure, Dominance, Submission. He's a perfect switch here, too, and his Dominance or submission is based entirely on his partner.)
Turn ons/Turn offs He is attracted to strong, dominant, personalities. That doesn't mean he'll submit to them, it means he'll fight for it with them and however the chips fall he'll be quite happy. Restraint and mindless, easy, 'natural' submission are all complete turn offs, and touching his throat is a surefire way to send him right past arousal and straight into blind rage. Sex is violent with him, and it's about dominance and submission - with very, very, few exceptions (like the morning after the full moon). It's not a pretty, romantic, or ritualized thing - it's primal.
Pain doesn't turn him on or off. With the monthly transformation his pain tolerance is unbelievable - serious damage would have to be done for him to even register it as significant. That, combined with unpleasant associations (to transforming), and the rate he heals, it's just nothing more than a fact of life. Not sexual at all.
Political association : Dumbledore, both because he truly believes that he's right and that Voldemort is an evil dangerous man, and because he's suffered a lot of personal loss at the hands of the Death Eaters and their supporters. It's as much personal as political at this point. He wants Fenrir. He wants Pettigrew. He wouldn't mind Bellatrix. He'd like Voldemort, but that kill belongs to Harry.
Intended Journal name : I am bad at creative journal names, so very likely mask_remus, or unmasked_wolf
Two potential plot-bunnies!:
1- Remus and Fenrir obviously have a lot of history and animosity. I would imagine there is more after Fenrir bit Bill. I would love to see Remus (Moony, actually) fight Greyback to protect something (either someone he sees as his responsibility/part of his pack, or his territory). Honestly - two massive wolves duking it out. It's hot, and it would be a blast to write - lead up, the event itself, and the after affects.
2- Lycanthropy can be transmitted through saliva, even if the person who's doing the biting is untransformed. That's a lot to play with that could be rather a lot of fun. Also there's a good deal of potential in the social problems of having absolutely no legal rights, and an infectious disease.
Journal Entry Sample:
I still miss him, of course. I still miss James and Lily. If I'm honest with myself there are times I miss Peter - not Pettigrew, not the man he is, but the boy I thought he was.
I still miss them all, but in the simple business of living life, every day, I forget them. I forget they're gone, the color of their eyes, the sounds of their voices. I don't remember them as well as I think I should.
Until the moon rises full.
Then I remember them in monochrome and perfect detail.
I forget them. Moony never does.
RP Sample (third person narrative, please):
He'd always sworn that he could feel the light against his skin. Once James had asked him -- laughing -- what it had felt like. Remus had answered truthfully that it was like being caressed by the softest, gentlest hand imaginable and having your skin peel away behind it, every nerve ending exposed. James had stopped laughing.
It wasn't anything so dramatic, of course, but the analogy still rang true even after thirty years and more of full moons. It still felt incredible for that moment before it began to hurt, and even the pain lasted only long enough to make itself known before it was gone again, washed away in a much less delicate, greater, hurt.
Muscles tore, bones broke. His body shattered itself in the cold light, ripping itself apart to reform into a shape that was entirely new and completely animal. When the violent convulsion of change left him, it didn't matter if the floor he rose from was a dirt and leaf litter deep in a remote forest, the stone of Hogwarts' floors or the worn, soft wood of the Shrieking Shack; there was always the taste of blood -- metallic and cloyingly sweet -- lingering at the back of his throat. There was always blood splattered across the silver of a muzzle now turning to gray.
But, somehow, despite all of that, once it was over and he was again standing firm on all four feet, the pain was forgotten, at least for the night. There was no mask to hide behind, no mistaking what he was, no pretended harmlessness to set others at ease. Instead there was more than 150 pounds of fur and bone, muscle and sinew.
Unquestionably beast, undeniably dangerous.
Tonight there was no pack to run with, no family to protect, no territory that mattered enough to guard. There was only the night. There were the changing scents and soft sounds brought to him by the same shifting breeze that was the only touch his fur had felt in nearly twenty years. And, of course, that cold light streaming from above.
She was the one companion he could never outrun. Long after the rest had fallen behind or just fallen - to death, to prison, to betrayal or simply to time - she was still there. Beautiful and brilliant, terrible and terrifying, she flayed both skin and humanity from him and bent him to her will. She pushed back the shadows and freed him to run from the dark into her cruel, unforgiving light.
It was no wonder he howled at the moon.
It had been thirty years and the light still hurt more and cut deeper than the dark ever had.
Werewolf Stuff:
Because what we know about werwolfism in Harry Potter canon is limited, I thought I'd write this up so that in the event that I am accepted there aren't any surprises.
It's a cycle that waxes and wanes with the moon. Leading up to the full moon his reactions become more primal, his reflexes get faster, his senses (hearing and smell, specifically) become more acute, and his 'wolfish' traits become more pronounced.
As a result he reacts more quickly, and there's more for him to react *to*, because there's more sensory input. Basically - he's much more likely to 'snap' if he's not paying attention. It peaks at the full moon and then subsides until the new moon, when he's at his most 'human' -- then it starts building again.
Sure, there are benefits. He heals very quickly from most injuries illnesses (a cursed wound or werewolf specific toxin are obvious exceptions). But he heals quickly because if he didn't he wouldn't survive the massive trauma of transforming, and illness is fought off because his immune system and metabolism are ramped up trying to fight off the virus responsible for lycanthropy.
Because of the increased immune system activity he's always physically warm - like he has a low grade fever. He's used to it and it doesn't bother him, but anyone having any physical contact with him could notice that his hands are always warm. Any healer working with him would certainly notice the raised temperature as well as a higher pulse and respiration rate. And the increased metabolism means he eats, a lot. Having regular meals certainly means he isn't as painfully skinny as he once was, but he's still thin and missing even a couple of meals makes a difference - and while that's hardly going to starve him he *would* get into trouble faster than your average bear- er, person.
The Transformation itself is also traumatic. It does a lot of very ugly damage very quickly, and it hurts a lot. The damage heals fast enough, but it's still a lot of massive physical change, and it happens not once a month but twice within twelve hours (he has to change back to human, too) Morning after is worst - he's exhausted, really hungry, and grumpy.
As he gets older and the more he uses wolfsbane the worse the transformation is- and the harder it is on him. Age slows him down in general of course, and wolfsbane not only keeps him from losing his mind (and causing a blood bath in the castle) but it's another thing his body has to try to fight off. It also, minimally, slows how quickly he heals. He is not aware of the affects of wolfsbane - he thinks he's just getting old.
The general stress on his body on a regular basis and the strain of transformation - means his life span is shortened. He is in no way going to live to reach a normal wizarding life span. Normal human is possible, barring sudden death via violence.
Name: Becky
Age: 29
Location: EST
E-mail: bhoadley@gmail.com
AIM sn: BeckyWriting
Yahoo! sn: BoyblaiseZ
Other contacts:bhoadley on google-talk
What's the secret password:flobberworm
RP Experience : I started RPing in HP three, almost four, years ago with the most god awful gary-stu that has ever seen the internet -I improved with time, but I'm still grateful those early journals have vanished. Examples of more recent rp can be found at Wx_drake and WX_summers, writing is at Becky_writing
About the Character
Full Name: Remus John Lupin
Date of Birth/Age: March 10/ 40
Parents: John and Mary Lupin.
Siblings and Other Family of Note: No siblings, or particularly notable family, though I suppose Fenrir could count.
Home: Wales, then Hogwarts, then he traveled about a lot. He settled briefly with Sirius at Grimmuald, then went to spy for Dumbledore with Fenrir's 'pack', then more travel, then back to Hogwarts.
House (if a Hogwarts student): Gryffindor, when he was there.
Wand: 10 inches, Oak, dragon heartstring
Favorite subjects: D.A.D.A. He liked, and likes, it both because he's good at it and because it is as close as he'll allow himself to come with playing with the Dark Arts. Also, there's a definite appreciation for the irony of a dark creature defending against dark magic.
Least favorite subjects (as above): Potions and Care of Magical Creatures are nearly tied for the title, but for very different reasons. Remus dislikes potions because they play havoc with his heightened senses. His dislike of Care of Magical Creatures is largely because creatures just plain don't like them. He smells, to them, like a very large and dangerous predator and incites a flight or fight response in most of them. That makes them dislike him and hard for him to work with them.
Profession: Member of Order of the Phoenix, Spy.
Appearance: Remus is tall and skinny rather than just thin. His brown hair needs cut and is streaked with gray, his blue eyes look faded and tired, his robes are *always* shabby. He looks older than he is, but only exactly as tired as he is - which is bloody well exhausted.
Link to PB potential. I'll understand if you prefer David.
Personality (strengths, weaknesses, quirks, etc):
General:
His first impression is of being unimposing and unassuming; he's really not at all remarkably except that he looks very poor, very tired, and frankly sick. He is over-all very polite, intelligent, and soft spoken. He's so soft spoken and mild in fact that he can be hard to argue with - he just simply doesn't. He smiles, nods, and does whatever the hell he wants, anyway. He's very stubborn.
He's got anearly unhealthy obsession for tea and books- tea and books being the only thing he never gave up for very long, no matter how rough his living situation. He spends a lot of his 'down' time reading books and drinking tea. He's the very image of a shabby professor. He always, no matter what, has chocolate somewhere on his person. He does not understand Quidditch or particularly want to. Talking sports with him will have his eyes glazing over quickly. He has excellent control of his physical and emotional responses - or at least how much of them he shows.
Beneath all that there is a man who has lost every person he has ever loved - and a wolf. He is reserved, can be a bit standoffish and aloof. He doesn't make eyecontact often or casually and he doesn't casually touch people. His appetite is ungodly yet he never seems to gain weight. Near the full moon he gets more irritable, his temper gets shorter, and he gets restless. He does not ever allow anyone to see him in the process of transforming.
Relationships : Sirius
Friends: James, Sirius, and at one point Peter, were all very good friends. Harry, the Weasleys, and an assortment of Order Members and former and present students.
Enemies: He really, really, detests Pettigrew and Greyback- would love to feed Pettigrew to Greyback and then rip out Fenrir's throat.
Intended/Past relationships Sirius was a past romantic relationship (assuming Sirius stays dead- if he's in play or will be, I will obviously remove this. There was a very brief 'almost' relationship with Nymphadora (only with mod approval of course), but then she was dead and it wasn't. The player has nothing intended at the moment.
Background:
Remus John Lupin was born to a wizard father and a muggle mother. He had a normal, if someone lonely (he was an only child) childhood. He exhibited magical abilities when he was seven and repaired a broken windowpane without meaning to. He was excited - it meant he got to go to Hogwarts, and he was looking forward to going to the wizarding school he'd heard about. He was really looking forward to having more time with children his age.
He'd already received his letter when his father offended Fenrir Greyback (Remus still doesn't know what his father did that upset him) and Remus was bitten. He wasn't killed, but was instead infected, and his life went straight to hell. When he recovered from the attack he was registered with the Ministry and very nearly didn't get to go to Hogwarts. Dumbledore managed to pull enough strings to get him in, and he went.
The years at Hogwarts were beyond all doubt the best Remus has every had. Remus was quieter, more bookish and more concerned with playing by the rules than James and Sirius - and he was nothing like as Quidditch mad as they were. They didn't always agree, and things weren't always perfect - far from it! - but it was a good time in his life.
Then there was the first War, and Voldemort. Things got harder, but for a while they were okay. James and Lily married, Harry was born and Sirius was the God father. But as the war progressed, things got harder, and started coming apart at the seams. His relationship with Sirius grew steadily more strained as the war progressed. Toward the end they didn't trust one another at all. The only person they did trust was the one they shouldn't have.
The War ended, but it ended with Sirius in jail and his parents, James, Lily, and Peter (he thought) dead. His world had fallen completely apart around him. He blamed himself; he hated Sirius. He hated himself; he blamed Sirius. And of course, he grieved. Remus stayed around just long enough to see Harry with his family - he wasn't (and isn't) legally considered a person by the Ministry. He certainly couldn't have taken him in legally and after all that had happened he wouldn't have trusted himself to, even if it would have been allowed.
The decade (plus a year) that followed was not a happy one. He'd lost his family, biological and chosen. He traveled, between the muggle world and the wizarding one, staying largely to extremely remote areas where the risk of injuring innocents during the full moon was the lowest, and tried to forget. He worked hard to bury the memory of Sirius with James, Lily, and Peter, and the difficulty of simple survival in a world that denied him even basic human rights (Werewolves were, and are, classified as Dark Creatures) was difficult enough that he almost, if never quite, managed.
When Sirius escaped Azkaban and was said to be headed for Hogwarts, Dumbledore called him back. He didn't particularly want to but it was his responsibility (as far as he was concerned) and he wasn't going to avoid it. He knew he could transform there safely, and was promised a supply of wolfsbane. He returned as a professor, and met Harry for the first time on the train. Harry really did look like James.
For the next nine months he tried to teach Harry what he needed to know to fight Dementors, without betraying who he was. Watching Harry, with Ron and Hermione, was like seeing James, Sirius, and himself years ago (he, if anyone is interested, associated himself as Hermione, Ron as Sirius, and Harry of course as James). It was bittersweet - the bitter being the conviction that Sirius was there, and trying to finish what he'd begun - killing Harry.
Finding out that it was Peter who had betrayed them, that had cost James and Lily their lives, seeing Sirius - or what was left of him - was. To say it was shock is an understatement. It was gut wrenchingly painful, and he was in those moments more angry than he had ever been. The sheer, bloody, hate he felt for Peter has never really left him. As proud as he honestly was of Harry for talking them out of killing Peter, not killing Pettigrew, anyway, is one of his greatest regrets.
When Snape outted him to the school as a werewolf and the school year had ended Sirius was long gone, and was being hunted by the Ministry. He wasn't angry at Snape - he honestly did agree that he was a threat and danger to the school - but he was also relieved. He trusted Harry with Dumbledore at the school, and he wanted to at least try to find Sirius. He didn't know what he was going to do, but he had to at least try and do it.
So, he left and traveled and went to look for Sirius. It was a bit less than a year when they found each other, with some interference from Dumbledore They stayed together at Grimmuald for quite some time. He - they- worked with Order of the Phoenix, and they worked on their 'relationship'. Which is to say that Sirius was paranoid and broken from time in Azkaban with hate as his only focus. Remus had his own baggage after all those years as a social outcast. He wanted, though, desperately to fix Sirius, and fix them. There were some spectacular fights, but they were trying.
They tried right up to the battle at The Department of Mysteries when Sirius fell through the veil and Remus had to hold Harry to keep him from following Sirius through the veil. All he could think was that they hadn't quite made it back, and when he grieved this time it was for the opportunity that had been lost, and all the potential Sirius had had, beautiful and laughing, when he'd been a student.
He broke. He broke completely and without drama. He just shut quietly down.
He continued to work with The Order and went to infiltrate the group of Werewolves lead by Fenrir. Gathering the information was necessary, it was a job that needed to be done if it could be - to find out their allegiances and what he could of Voldemort's plans. More than that it was the opportunity to continue to work For The Order, against Voldemort, and to do it without having to live like a civilized human being, and see Harry's face. As much as he loved James and loves Harry, the cost paid to keep him alive was something that Remus was beginning to feel a bit too personally. He needed the time.
He stayed with the werwolves until the end of that Summer. Life there was brutally, viscously, primal and hard. It was also gruesome. He saw and did things that he will haunt him for the rest of his life; as though the lives and deaths of Sirius, James, and Lily weren't enough. It also gave him an up close and intimate look at why Werewolves are considered Dark Creatures to be feared rather than people - and why Voldemort has to be stopped. Remus has seen what the world will be if Voldemort wins.
He reported to The Order, faithfully throughout. It was during those reports that he first met Tonks.It was his relationship (the one that never quite was) with Nymphadora (who somehow reminded him of Sirius - maybe it was the vivaciousness, maybe it was the tenacity, maybe it was just how loud she could be, and how insecure) that gave him his perspective back and kept him from falling off the edge he'd teetered, however briefly, on.
His balance close enough to regained, and ready to face this thing in a more direct and civilized way, Remus extracted himself at the end of the summer. He arrived just in time to find Tonk's dead.
He is, not to put too fine a point on it, pissed off. He's angry at Peter, he'd very much like to rip Fenrir's throat out, but he's also just angry. He's more determined to see this thing over than he has ever been, he's less playful and his humor, once gentle, is now more often cutting. In general, though, his outward demeanor has changed very little.
He is, if nothing, very good at controlling himself.
Sexual Orientation: Perfectly bisexual. Sexual attraction is a complicated (or very simple) thing with Remus, but it isn't determined by gender.
Kinks: He doesn't have any, he swears. (D/s, more than B/D or S/M. It's not about power play, it's about power. Structure, Dominance, Submission. He's a perfect switch here, too, and his Dominance or submission is based entirely on his partner.)
Turn ons/Turn offs He is attracted to strong, dominant, personalities. That doesn't mean he'll submit to them, it means he'll fight for it with them and however the chips fall he'll be quite happy. Restraint and mindless, easy, 'natural' submission are all complete turn offs, and touching his throat is a surefire way to send him right past arousal and straight into blind rage. Sex is violent with him, and it's about dominance and submission - with very, very, few exceptions (like the morning after the full moon). It's not a pretty, romantic, or ritualized thing - it's primal.
Pain doesn't turn him on or off. With the monthly transformation his pain tolerance is unbelievable - serious damage would have to be done for him to even register it as significant. That, combined with unpleasant associations (to transforming), and the rate he heals, it's just nothing more than a fact of life. Not sexual at all.
Political association : Dumbledore, both because he truly believes that he's right and that Voldemort is an evil dangerous man, and because he's suffered a lot of personal loss at the hands of the Death Eaters and their supporters. It's as much personal as political at this point. He wants Fenrir. He wants Pettigrew. He wouldn't mind Bellatrix. He'd like Voldemort, but that kill belongs to Harry.
Intended Journal name : I am bad at creative journal names, so very likely mask_remus, or unmasked_wolf
Two potential plot-bunnies!:
1- Remus and Fenrir obviously have a lot of history and animosity. I would imagine there is more after Fenrir bit Bill. I would love to see Remus (Moony, actually) fight Greyback to protect something (either someone he sees as his responsibility/part of his pack, or his territory). Honestly - two massive wolves duking it out. It's hot, and it would be a blast to write - lead up, the event itself, and the after affects.
2- Lycanthropy can be transmitted through saliva, even if the person who's doing the biting is untransformed. That's a lot to play with that could be rather a lot of fun. Also there's a good deal of potential in the social problems of having absolutely no legal rights, and an infectious disease.
Journal Entry Sample:
I still miss him, of course. I still miss James and Lily. If I'm honest with myself there are times I miss Peter - not Pettigrew, not the man he is, but the boy I thought he was.
I still miss them all, but in the simple business of living life, every day, I forget them. I forget they're gone, the color of their eyes, the sounds of their voices. I don't remember them as well as I think I should.
Until the moon rises full.
Then I remember them in monochrome and perfect detail.
I forget them. Moony never does.
RP Sample (third person narrative, please):
He'd always sworn that he could feel the light against his skin. Once James had asked him -- laughing -- what it had felt like. Remus had answered truthfully that it was like being caressed by the softest, gentlest hand imaginable and having your skin peel away behind it, every nerve ending exposed. James had stopped laughing.
It wasn't anything so dramatic, of course, but the analogy still rang true even after thirty years and more of full moons. It still felt incredible for that moment before it began to hurt, and even the pain lasted only long enough to make itself known before it was gone again, washed away in a much less delicate, greater, hurt.
Muscles tore, bones broke. His body shattered itself in the cold light, ripping itself apart to reform into a shape that was entirely new and completely animal. When the violent convulsion of change left him, it didn't matter if the floor he rose from was a dirt and leaf litter deep in a remote forest, the stone of Hogwarts' floors or the worn, soft wood of the Shrieking Shack; there was always the taste of blood -- metallic and cloyingly sweet -- lingering at the back of his throat. There was always blood splattered across the silver of a muzzle now turning to gray.
But, somehow, despite all of that, once it was over and he was again standing firm on all four feet, the pain was forgotten, at least for the night. There was no mask to hide behind, no mistaking what he was, no pretended harmlessness to set others at ease. Instead there was more than 150 pounds of fur and bone, muscle and sinew.
Unquestionably beast, undeniably dangerous.
Tonight there was no pack to run with, no family to protect, no territory that mattered enough to guard. There was only the night. There were the changing scents and soft sounds brought to him by the same shifting breeze that was the only touch his fur had felt in nearly twenty years. And, of course, that cold light streaming from above.
She was the one companion he could never outrun. Long after the rest had fallen behind or just fallen - to death, to prison, to betrayal or simply to time - she was still there. Beautiful and brilliant, terrible and terrifying, she flayed both skin and humanity from him and bent him to her will. She pushed back the shadows and freed him to run from the dark into her cruel, unforgiving light.
It was no wonder he howled at the moon.
It had been thirty years and the light still hurt more and cut deeper than the dark ever had.
Werewolf Stuff:
Because what we know about werwolfism in Harry Potter canon is limited, I thought I'd write this up so that in the event that I am accepted there aren't any surprises.
It's a cycle that waxes and wanes with the moon. Leading up to the full moon his reactions become more primal, his reflexes get faster, his senses (hearing and smell, specifically) become more acute, and his 'wolfish' traits become more pronounced.
As a result he reacts more quickly, and there's more for him to react *to*, because there's more sensory input. Basically - he's much more likely to 'snap' if he's not paying attention. It peaks at the full moon and then subsides until the new moon, when he's at his most 'human' -- then it starts building again.
Sure, there are benefits. He heals very quickly from most injuries illnesses (a cursed wound or werewolf specific toxin are obvious exceptions). But he heals quickly because if he didn't he wouldn't survive the massive trauma of transforming, and illness is fought off because his immune system and metabolism are ramped up trying to fight off the virus responsible for lycanthropy.
Because of the increased immune system activity he's always physically warm - like he has a low grade fever. He's used to it and it doesn't bother him, but anyone having any physical contact with him could notice that his hands are always warm. Any healer working with him would certainly notice the raised temperature as well as a higher pulse and respiration rate. And the increased metabolism means he eats, a lot. Having regular meals certainly means he isn't as painfully skinny as he once was, but he's still thin and missing even a couple of meals makes a difference - and while that's hardly going to starve him he *would* get into trouble faster than your average bear- er, person.
The Transformation itself is also traumatic. It does a lot of very ugly damage very quickly, and it hurts a lot. The damage heals fast enough, but it's still a lot of massive physical change, and it happens not once a month but twice within twelve hours (he has to change back to human, too) Morning after is worst - he's exhausted, really hungry, and grumpy.
As he gets older and the more he uses wolfsbane the worse the transformation is- and the harder it is on him. Age slows him down in general of course, and wolfsbane not only keeps him from losing his mind (and causing a blood bath in the castle) but it's another thing his body has to try to fight off. It also, minimally, slows how quickly he heals. He is not aware of the affects of wolfsbane - he thinks he's just getting old.
The general stress on his body on a regular basis and the strain of transformation - means his life span is shortened. He is in no way going to live to reach a normal wizarding life span. Normal human is possible, barring sudden death via violence.