I cannot sleep... im barely hanging onnnnn -Chicago
♪here I am once again~ I'm torn into pieces, can't deny it can't pretend... I just thought you are the one.... broken up deepen inside... you don't get to see the tears I cry.....♪ (by Kelly Clarkson)
well, no special meanings for writing down the lyrics of this song here.
at least, it's irrelevant to what im going to write...i guess...
I've been moving between Japan-Europe-USA.
I thought after my college I would just stay in the US for a while because now that I have more friends and know Chicago better, I feel so comfortable living here. But now I talked with my dad tonight, I'm not confident that's gonna happen just like I imagined.
There's a chance I'm going back to Switzerland at my godparents and work for the company that my godfather used to work until last year. My Japanese dad gave me a deal for half a year or the entire year of doing an internship at the company. What my choice is gonna be? I met someone that I can really fall in love with and now I know that I'll have to leave him? I feel like im not even allowed to have a boyfriend unless I stop moving around... -_-#. I never write about my true feelings but here I do. It's so tough for me to be with him knowing that we might be far apart later. Like going out knowing the end. I don't want that "end" to come especially this is just the beginning. *tears* I truely want you to know that I don't want you to be just a temporary one. it's funny how these words seems so fake and lacking credibility. This is just not working out and I don't know what to do. I really don't wanna lose the happiness I finally came to have...