reason is treason
As I walked along the edge of another season, change upon the wind, I hoped it would feel like this just a little longer--the air cool with a fresh scented breeze. It won't though. Summer will surface in an instant boil when it's least expected. And all of these threats of frost and cold will be long forgotten.
As I ponder about life I can't help but realize how selfish people are; It becomes more and more apparent. I'm on the brink of self discovery but I try not to be selfish. I certainly am nothing of the sort with my time. I do what others want on a whim spending my whole day dictated by what at least one person needs or wants to do. I'm almost 29 which means I'm almost 30, and I feel like such a child by how I'm treated.
Two days ago mom was told she has a tumor on her spine. There's some other things going on also so I'm left feeling guilty for being frustrated. Frustrated about being depended upon so much that it seems I don't ever get anything done.
On a different note, I have forgotten last nights dream as though it never happened but the night before I closed my eyes to find myself in an apocalypse. I stood outside talking to my sister and her husband by their car after getting home from a dinner out. As we stood talking it started to rain and we ran to catch shelter. It seemed like an innocent rainfall but then began to freeze. Everyone seemed surprised to see snow, it seemed the wrong time of year for it. Then what looked like a firework in the distance lit up the sky followed by a loud BOOM. The earth shook. Another blast, another firework, and then we realized it wasn't fireworks at all. The ground was exploding. Buildings began falling all around. We ran. What seemed like days went by and I lost everyone. When I found myself in unfamiliar surroundings unable to move any further I took refuge in a city townhouse, right off a main street. No one lived here anymore but lots of people were staying there. Only half of what once was still stood, most of it in tattered ruins. A man showed me a map with marker print and diagrams etched all over it. These were the places of the world that still existed; there wasn't much of the globe that didn't have a big black X marked through it. A chilling draft drifted through a side window in the dimly lit room picking up dust and whirling it around before it settled to the old wooden floor. I glanced outside and saw the begin of a light rain which slowed in motion and began to float. "There!" "That happens right before the fire comes!" A woman came running inside with two dirty-faced children and said "down here, quickly" as she opened a hatch door in the floor that led to a basement. I had just made it down the stairs when the foundation of the house shook. And then we heard what was left around us begin to crumble. "This is it" we seemed to say at the same time. I noticed another trap door, there might be one more chance if this could get us further down. I reached for the door as another BOOM rang out, all I could see were streaks of glowing red in the blackness. And then I woke up. It was like M. Night Shyamalan directing a Stephen King story.
As I ponder about life I can't help but realize how selfish people are; It becomes more and more apparent. I'm on the brink of self discovery but I try not to be selfish. I certainly am nothing of the sort with my time. I do what others want on a whim spending my whole day dictated by what at least one person needs or wants to do. I'm almost 29 which means I'm almost 30, and I feel like such a child by how I'm treated.
Two days ago mom was told she has a tumor on her spine. There's some other things going on also so I'm left feeling guilty for being frustrated. Frustrated about being depended upon so much that it seems I don't ever get anything done.
On a different note, I have forgotten last nights dream as though it never happened but the night before I closed my eyes to find myself in an apocalypse. I stood outside talking to my sister and her husband by their car after getting home from a dinner out. As we stood talking it started to rain and we ran to catch shelter. It seemed like an innocent rainfall but then began to freeze. Everyone seemed surprised to see snow, it seemed the wrong time of year for it. Then what looked like a firework in the distance lit up the sky followed by a loud BOOM. The earth shook. Another blast, another firework, and then we realized it wasn't fireworks at all. The ground was exploding. Buildings began falling all around. We ran. What seemed like days went by and I lost everyone. When I found myself in unfamiliar surroundings unable to move any further I took refuge in a city townhouse, right off a main street. No one lived here anymore but lots of people were staying there. Only half of what once was still stood, most of it in tattered ruins. A man showed me a map with marker print and diagrams etched all over it. These were the places of the world that still existed; there wasn't much of the globe that didn't have a big black X marked through it. A chilling draft drifted through a side window in the dimly lit room picking up dust and whirling it around before it settled to the old wooden floor. I glanced outside and saw the begin of a light rain which slowed in motion and began to float. "There!" "That happens right before the fire comes!" A woman came running inside with two dirty-faced children and said "down here, quickly" as she opened a hatch door in the floor that led to a basement. I had just made it down the stairs when the foundation of the house shook. And then we heard what was left around us begin to crumble. "This is it" we seemed to say at the same time. I noticed another trap door, there might be one more chance if this could get us further down. I reached for the door as another BOOM rang out, all I could see were streaks of glowing red in the blackness. And then I woke up. It was like M. Night Shyamalan directing a Stephen King story.