are all the things you've said to me a lie?

[mascara_xo]

so im crying and i feel like i could throw up
why do i even read his journal
why do i even care anymore haha.
something needs to sink in for me to realize
that i'm not enough
can someone just please tell me
that i'm not enough.
please.

i am tired of feeling hurt
and having my heart broken
over and over by the same person
i hate love. and i hate this.
i used to think love was worth something
its not worth anything
if the person you love doesnt love back
and i hate you for not loving me back.
but for whatever reason, i do still love you

everything i see, think, hear, feel, touch.
it reminds me of you or is about you.

and i hate that i cant get over you
and i hate that i always feel something for you
and i hate that i try to make myself believe that you care
and i hate that i try so fucking hard for something so worthless
and i hate that i ... can't make you happy.

you are my everything, really.
and i'll continue to wait, because i'm stupid like that.
i'll continue to pretend that you want me to come over.
and i'll pretend that you like me
i'll be happy for you if thats what you want me to do.

i won't stop loving you.
until i stop breathing.