(no subject)
what do you do when you dont love anyone?
when you have realized that the potential feelings you have for so many people are so lost. stored energy that will never be used. because reciprocation just isn't on your side. I can say that i've probably never felt more alone than i do right now. and its not because anyone has done something to me. its more of the fact that they would rather not do anything at all. and in realizing this ive made a conscious decision to start focusing in on myself. if i want to do something i will.. if i dont... i wont. its really just that simple.
if i want to drink..ill drink
if i want to hang out... ill hang out
if i want to go out... ill go out
and if i dont want to.. i wont.
ive somehow accumulated about 100 bucks without doing anything and im really not sure how. but nevertheless i think id rather stick it in the bank than blow it on meaningless things. or whatever i regard as meaningless at the moment.
i'm so glad that only maybe 1 or 2 people will read this. because i dont want a fucking pity party of people who come around when you say youre lonely and then fade away when the heroism is gone. when they are done rescuing you.
the more and more i think about this the more and more i can't decide what i should do about it.
for right now im just going to leave it be and see what happens.
when you have realized that the potential feelings you have for so many people are so lost. stored energy that will never be used. because reciprocation just isn't on your side. I can say that i've probably never felt more alone than i do right now. and its not because anyone has done something to me. its more of the fact that they would rather not do anything at all. and in realizing this ive made a conscious decision to start focusing in on myself. if i want to do something i will.. if i dont... i wont. its really just that simple.
if i want to drink..ill drink
if i want to hang out... ill hang out
if i want to go out... ill go out
and if i dont want to.. i wont.
ive somehow accumulated about 100 bucks without doing anything and im really not sure how. but nevertheless i think id rather stick it in the bank than blow it on meaningless things. or whatever i regard as meaningless at the moment.
i'm so glad that only maybe 1 or 2 people will read this. because i dont want a fucking pity party of people who come around when you say youre lonely and then fade away when the heroism is gone. when they are done rescuing you.
the more and more i think about this the more and more i can't decide what i should do about it.
for right now im just going to leave it be and see what happens.