(no subject)
ive wanted to update so many times but damn if i want to type out a long ass entry on my sidekick and then somehow it end up not working.
so fucking much has been going on and running through my mind.
now that im working 40 hours a week i havent had much time to do anything else. but i guess its worth the money. 250 a week instead of every other week is nice.
im going to join the gym and the tanning bed this coming week. im over not liking myself and hindering myself from meeting people because i dont think im enjoyable to look at. and i think it is worth spending money so that way i wont spend money on stupid stuff. and if i am paying for it. i will definitely use it. so i think its a pretty good investment.
i will meet my goal of 30 pounds gone by the summer. no matter what. i still have a month and some change left. i know i can do it. i need to get my tires sired in my bike so i can start riding it.
in other news. sarah alexander, one of my best friends, will now be working with me everyday and working with me. we are trying to get her a car because she needs it oh so bad. she is also moving in with me until the end of the summer. woop woop. so we will be together like ALL the time. should be interesting. it will kind of be a test for when her and i want to move out together. im excited.
EVERYONE has been moving. one day its josh and brad and then its sarah and her family. hopefully my mom and i will be next.
im so damn exhausted. im shutting down but i think i will get two days in a row off like i usually do since i work 40 hour weeks. but i will get over it. i guess its better so it wont be such a shock when i go back to school.
so .. time for the bad news. it is possible that i might have cervical cancer...which is like the worst news i could ever possibly get. especially since that shit runs in my family. its kind of making me think about things alot differently. not like "OH MY GOD I NEED TO FIND THE LORD AND BRING HIM INTO MY HEART" .. bullshit.. more like.. whats important anymore? and even presented with such a serious thing ive still come to the same conclusion. it seems the only important thing is security. being able to live comfortably. and thats what i want to do. not have to ask anyone for anything and do what i have to do to get by. if it means i have money in the bank and im still able to do what i want then not too much else really matters. thats part of the reason im down with exhaustion as long as i have 40 hours a week at work. AND ill be workign with my best friend everyday.
i think very soon i will be moving on up on the scale at work. i want to try to be a manager by the end of the summer. and i dont see any reason why i couldnt do that. danny ( my manager) likes me and see's potential. and that would be sweet as shit for me to be able to put " manager" on my next job application.
oh just a side note. i dont drink caffiene anymore. i dont really know why i decided that.. but i just did. the only soda i will drink is sierra mist or sprite. NO CAFFIENE !!
oh man oh man. the love life is... non-exsistant. but i mean i guess i dont really expect anything soon. my guess is i wont find someone until im 18 and ill be able to go clubbing or out in general and meet older people. ive decided i have liek things i need to have a guy have so i can date him. i wont list them cause they will probably make me sound like a bitch but.. they are there and they have hindered me from attaching myself to quite a few people recently. but oh well.
only 2 left. ive gotta be picky.
i just really want someone to hold my hand and enjoy sitting with me. thats all. maybe a kiss every now and then.
well anyways. i have to take a shower because im gross and im bored with this now. i barely even touched on half of the stuff ive been thinking about but i will i guess update next time i have spare time.
goodnight folks!
so fucking much has been going on and running through my mind.
now that im working 40 hours a week i havent had much time to do anything else. but i guess its worth the money. 250 a week instead of every other week is nice.
im going to join the gym and the tanning bed this coming week. im over not liking myself and hindering myself from meeting people because i dont think im enjoyable to look at. and i think it is worth spending money so that way i wont spend money on stupid stuff. and if i am paying for it. i will definitely use it. so i think its a pretty good investment.
i will meet my goal of 30 pounds gone by the summer. no matter what. i still have a month and some change left. i know i can do it. i need to get my tires sired in my bike so i can start riding it.
in other news. sarah alexander, one of my best friends, will now be working with me everyday and working with me. we are trying to get her a car because she needs it oh so bad. she is also moving in with me until the end of the summer. woop woop. so we will be together like ALL the time. should be interesting. it will kind of be a test for when her and i want to move out together. im excited.
EVERYONE has been moving. one day its josh and brad and then its sarah and her family. hopefully my mom and i will be next.
im so damn exhausted. im shutting down but i think i will get two days in a row off like i usually do since i work 40 hour weeks. but i will get over it. i guess its better so it wont be such a shock when i go back to school.
so .. time for the bad news. it is possible that i might have cervical cancer...which is like the worst news i could ever possibly get. especially since that shit runs in my family. its kind of making me think about things alot differently. not like "OH MY GOD I NEED TO FIND THE LORD AND BRING HIM INTO MY HEART" .. bullshit.. more like.. whats important anymore? and even presented with such a serious thing ive still come to the same conclusion. it seems the only important thing is security. being able to live comfortably. and thats what i want to do. not have to ask anyone for anything and do what i have to do to get by. if it means i have money in the bank and im still able to do what i want then not too much else really matters. thats part of the reason im down with exhaustion as long as i have 40 hours a week at work. AND ill be workign with my best friend everyday.
i think very soon i will be moving on up on the scale at work. i want to try to be a manager by the end of the summer. and i dont see any reason why i couldnt do that. danny ( my manager) likes me and see's potential. and that would be sweet as shit for me to be able to put " manager" on my next job application.
oh just a side note. i dont drink caffiene anymore. i dont really know why i decided that.. but i just did. the only soda i will drink is sierra mist or sprite. NO CAFFIENE !!
oh man oh man. the love life is... non-exsistant. but i mean i guess i dont really expect anything soon. my guess is i wont find someone until im 18 and ill be able to go clubbing or out in general and meet older people. ive decided i have liek things i need to have a guy have so i can date him. i wont list them cause they will probably make me sound like a bitch but.. they are there and they have hindered me from attaching myself to quite a few people recently. but oh well.
only 2 left. ive gotta be picky.
i just really want someone to hold my hand and enjoy sitting with me. thats all. maybe a kiss every now and then.
well anyways. i have to take a shower because im gross and im bored with this now. i barely even touched on half of the stuff ive been thinking about but i will i guess update next time i have spare time.
goodnight folks!