all you did was take...
Watching Terrible tv
it kills all thought
getting spacier than
an astronaut
making out with people
i hardly know or like
I can't believe what I do
late at night.
I wanna know what it's like
on the inside of love.
i'm standing at the gates
i see the beauty above
only when we get to see
the aerial view
will the patterns show
we'll know what to do
I know the last page so well
i can't read the first
so i just don't start
it's getting worse
i wanna know what it's like
on the inside of love
i'm standing at the gates
i see the beauty the above
i wanna know what it's like
on the inside of love
i can't find my way in
i try again and again
i'm on the outside of love
always under or above
i cant find my way in
i try again and again
i'm on the outside of love
always under or above
must be a different view
to be a me with a you
i wanna know what it's like
on the inside of love
standing at the gates i see
the beauty above
i wanna know what it's like
on the inside of love
of course i'll be alright
i just had a bad night.
i just had a bad night.
Ah, sometimes it feels so good to blow your nose. Robb told me last nigh that i was depressed. He was right. well im not working tomorrow and im looking for someone to hang out with tonight.. any offers? No? didnt think so. Well. even though i have updated about week alreaady i guess ill just try to talk about the whole thing in general.
I hate the life i am living. I remember now what my life was like a year ago.. and how unhappy i was living here..... but i survived right? Right well now my little lifeline called 'friends' have gone. Its hitting me pretty hard. I have done nothing but cry all week.. constantly. Wjen you arent watching the tears roll down my cheek, i just just wipe them away quick enough. I seem pretty pathetic. Like come on.... your boyfriend breaks up with you.. so what? just get another one... i dont want anything at the moment. i dont want to be here anymore. i am so over exsisting in a world where its so easy for someone to say something and contradict it just as easilly. im down. nothing is new. at least my life seemed semi decent when i had someone else to help. someone please come and kidnap me take me away to another place where i know no one... and no one knows me. I dont want to be here anymore. I dont want to talk to the people i know anymore. i dont want to go out in the same places. Why cant i just feel free anymore. Like i had nothing to worry about.
I forgot to post robb and the wizz fizz. My apoligies...
I have a bruise on my hand. But i tend to be a bit of a peach. I'm tired. I woke up this morning............... and cried? whats wrong with me. why do i feel like this. how can i let me be like this. Why do i not want to change. Why do i want to suffocate myself with you.. you make me hurt. fullstop.
Strange infatuation seems to grace the evening tide.
I'll take it by your side.
Such imagination seems to help the feeling slide.
I'll take it by your side.
Instant correlation sucks and breeds a pack of lies.
I'll take it by your side.
Oversaturation curls the skin and tans the hide.
I'll take it by your side.
tick - tock x3
tick - tick - tick - tick - tick - tock
I'm unclean, a libertine
And every time you vent your spleen,
I seem to lose the power of speech,
Your slipping slowly from my reach.
You grow me like an evergreen,
You never see the lonely me at all
I...
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
I...
Fall.
Without you, I'm Nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Without you, I'm nothing.
Take the plan, spin it sideways.
Without you, I'm nothing at all.
Its a bit of a lyrics night tonight. I have been meaning to do this for a while.. post some lyrics that im relating to. but then this will end up beinglike the longest entry ever.. anything can make me cry these days. Why did i think i was indestructable..? I have to stop being like this. This morning, my eye lids were so heavy. I dont know why but for some reason my eyes puff up for like 24 hours after crying. Last night was the worst of the three. It was nice to go back online and see that robb had not gone out. i kinda wanted someone to talk to.
I called Louise. Last night. God i miss her. She has been my everything for the past 7 years. I love her to death. I did the whole 'im crying and i dont know why!" thing.. she knew exaclty. I am looking foward to going out tomorrow night. I dont want to go to the party.. robb said something about the beer garden.. so maybe just there... i think we shoudl keep jen away from the pokies though.. hahhahahahah : s
The voice was not unkind in the back of my mind when it said 'maybe you didnt know him at all'. It was just being truthful. Alot of the converstaions we have had should have been done in person.
When i think about it... i was really happy and the week before that.. whats changed....? i know what has. i need to stop surrounding myself with 'you'
Micka came and picked me up from work - he also dropped me there. Which was nice. I feel sad for him. He is so unhappy. Im sorry about that. I wish i could fix him. i wish i could fix alot of people. I want to know what you could have handled better exactly? too late now anyway. im already fucked. BUT ILL BE FINE. i dont expect to just walk away and live a life happiness like you have. Im not like that.
ahh i am being unreasonable now. time to leave.