(no subject)
I've never hidden anything from him...
I feel like such a creep. Today by the lake, I joked about not sleeping and maybe if we got married I'd be able to move into his dorm and then I'd get some sleep... and then he said "I think we're a little young for that," and my heart swelled and I felt like I might explode into a billion pieces.
My brain swelled too, though I'm not sure how... there was really not any room for my heart, let alone my brain.
I don't know about marriage... and I don't know about ... gah... It just reminded me that I'm in a relationship... tied down and out of control. I feel closed in and I want to run. I love Isaac more than life itself, and it occured to me that he might not feel the same at all.
And that's what led me to this... I shouldn't care if he loves me or not... I shouldn't be Damascus the whipped... I shouldn't rely on him so much. I'd rather my life be without love than like this.
I'm breaking up with him...
- Damascus