USS Elementia Chapter 4
Chapter Four
She had been hiding. That was the simple way of looking at things, but could there be another answer for Commander Troi's behavior?
Nurse Ogawa was with the captain. Even if he wasn't busy, Deanna wasn't sure she would bring it to him just yet. What did she have to tell him? Their earlier conversation floated back to her, but what else did she have to voice other than unfounded suspicion? She did not want him to act any more on edge without reason.
Deanna paused at the door to her room. Had seeing Yar thrown her more than she realized? The others' emotions in the room had been distracting. Could her counterpart have been simply shielding herself from that? It seemed a little extreme. Until she had searched again, Deanna hadn't even been able to sense her. Was she cutting herself off because she knew Deanna was there? Being the only one capable of shielding her mind wouldn't make things easier for the rest of her crew.
She asked the computer for Worf's location, turning back down the corridor. Even if she wasn't willing to share her odd findings with anyone yet, she could at least spend some time with him. Maybe having him around would put her at ease, let her think more clearly.
Yar had looked annoyed, and that had come through to Deanna, but mostly all she felt was worry. Why worry about her commander staying on the Enterprise? Why so publicly disagree with her commanding officer? What had her Deanna been feeling? Why be so tightly stitched up inside of her own head?
She shuddered, crossing her arms over her chest. How could she stand not feeling the others' presence in the room? It was like deliberately shutting her eyes before walking an unknown path. She had to be very well disciplined or very used to being closed off.
Had the war she spoke of forced that on her?
“Deanna.”
She looked up to see Worf's frowning face. She had almost walked into him. She smiled, arms dropping back to her sides. “There you are. I was looking for you.”
“Has something happened?”
“No.” It was an absence of things, really. “How are you coping?”
His frown deepened. “I am fine.” He wasn't lying. He had been offended by the other Deanna's comments in the observation lounge, but that discontent didn't seem to have stayed with him long. His mind was back to the normal stress and focus of his work. “Are you... coping?” He couldn't quite look at her as he asked. Asking after mental health was still something that made him feel extremely uncomfortable.
“I think so. Being able to read people provides an extra distance. They feel different even if they look the same.”
Worf huffed.
“What is it?”
“Commander Riker is in Ten Forward with Commander Troi.”
She hid a smile. “The captain did ask him to stay with her.”
“Indeed.”
“She's not me, Worf. I'm sure Will knows that.”
“Yes.”
“Is something else about the situation bothering you?”
“Why did she not return to her ship with Lieutenant Yar?”
Even Yar had been worried about her commander staying behind. Well, she had just been worried. Deanna could not interpret the cause. Had something else left her unsettled?
“I'm sure she had a good reason.”
-
Yar vanished to return to her duties after hardly more than a nod. Beverly did not feel like she had been granted the same kind of leave from the captain before her. She was snared by her failed eavesdropping; attempting to leave would only make the situation seem worse.
“I hope your tricorder is al lright.” The captain seemed perfectly fine carrying on with the lie.
“It's fine now.” Beverly was starting to feel less than fine herself, though.
“Is your engineer all right?”
Who the hell was left awake on this ship to tell her where she had come from? Had she been checking the ship's sensors? Were they even operational? “He's fine.”
“I hope our engines aren't giving him too much trouble.”
“I think he feels excited by the challenge.” Maybe she had just been looking at the new people who had come aboard her ship. Maybe Beverly was beginning to feel paranoid for no reason. What Yar had to say likely had to do with ship functions. Then why not finish her report once Beverly had been revealed?
“Any help he can manage is greatly appreciated. Just like your assistance in sickbay.”
She felt a strong desire to get back to those patients, and to see if Alyssa had returned yet. Hearing something from Jean-Luc would help soothe her. Even if it was a command to stand ready, though she didn't know for what.
“I'm afraid all I can do in return is ask for more help.”
“On what?” Beverly was a doctor, what use was she going to be outside of sickbay to this woman?
“Can you keep my sickbay running while I'm gone?”
Was she asking her to go back to her timeline with her? Was the woman in front of her dying? She was gaunt, and dark circles were under her eyes, but surely that was simple exhaustion and not a sign of illness? Some horror must have shown on her face, because the captain was fighting a smile as she elaborated her request.
“I'm going to the Enterprise, doctor. I want to speak to your captain.”
That made more sense than her panicked thoughts. “You hadn't seem interested in going to the Enterprise before.”
“My patients took precedence.”
Those patients very nearly made up the entirety of her crew. “And now?”
“They are stable. I've done what I can for them. Now I must do what I can for the ship.”
What was she hoping to get from Jean-Luc that she felt her first officer could not? “You-” She straightened her shoulders. “-you have no lost love for Captain Picard.” It seemed prudent not to share her ease and familiarity with him.
The captain before her grew quiet a moment, eyes unblinkingly studying her face. “You married Jack Crusher?”
“Yes.” She tried not to hesitate at the sudden change in topic.
“And you had a child. Lesley. Our daughter.”
Her and Jack's? Or had she meant theirs? “I had a son. Wesley.”
They shared a moment of soft smiles for the peculiarity of similar names. Beverly's wavered and vanished quickly, unease creeping inside her. What did their similar histories have to do with her dislike of Jean-Luc?
“Mine both died under Captain Picard's orders.” Captain Crusher's smile had not quite vanished by the time she spoke.
Why the hell had no one told her? Did they know? The captain pressed forward before Beverly could overcome her shock and ask questions, or provide sympathies.
“Your son. Where is he now?”
Traveling with a transdimensional alien did not seem like a simple enough response. “Traveling.”
“He didn't join Starfleet?”
Mentioning his brief time at the academy seemed unnecessary. “It wasn't for him.”
“If only Lesley had felt the same way.”
How old had she been when she died? The question stuck in her throat, Wes's young face too firmly planted in her mind. Would Starfleet have been enough to hold her together if her son had died?
“You understand my reluctance to talk to him.”
It was hardly a question, but it deserved an answer. “Yes.”
“I hope sickbay will not keep you too busy while I am gone.”
She nodded, hearing hope no one dies in my absence. There was no threat to her voice, but something about the words was unsettling. Captain Crusher departed with a nod, and it took Beverly's limbs a moment to remember they could move. She wanted to gather her staff and go huddle in engineering with Geordi and his people. There was safety in numbers, though she had no idea what she meant to protect them from. She couldn't abandon the people in sickbay, and she had no real reason to hide. It wasn't as if she had been threatened. She had been told- asked, to stay put. To help.
There wasn't anything wrong or threatening in that.
When she did her rounds of the biobeds, checking the status of critical patients, she found the commander who had been her first patient was missing.
-
This was the stupidest thing he had decided to do in a long time. He should have checked in with the Captain, seen if there was anything else he required. Instead he had done this. The damn thing he had told himself he wouldn't do. Take Commander Troi to his quarters.
It wasn't like he was really drunk. He hadn't even had the synthahol Guinan prepared for him. The sickly sweet flavor still burned in his mouth, and had helped drive the decision to come back here. His fascination with this woman was too great. Only recently had he seen Deanna take an interest in command, yet here was a version of her who had pursued the position from the start of her Starfleet career. That had to have shaped her, even in a capacity that the war had not.
She wandered around his quarters, completely unabashed, looking, well, relaxed was the only way Will knew how to describe it. She relaxed around him. She had to know his counterpart in her universe. But how? Why the hell wouldn't she say?
She smiled when she saw the trumpet, as if it reminded her of something. He bit his tongue to keep himself from offering to play for her. He had thought (he was now desperately re-imagining the reason for his decision to bring her here) that in a more private setting, their awkward small talk could at least be less awkward.
“Being near Betazed, is this the test run for your prototype engines?” Bad luck that the enemy had found them so quickly. Had they so boldly entered into Federation space?
“Betazed was taken by the Klingons nine years ago.”
He had obviously picked the absolute worst question to ask. No wonder she had asked after Betazed when she learned it was one of their stations that had picked up the anomaly. Just what exactly had they been doing out here, with a brand new ship? With the war going the way it sounded, why risk it? What was so special about their engines? “I'm sorry.”
“It was some time ago.”
She wasn't facing him. Her voice was steady, but he couldn't be sure she wasn't hiding her face to conceal any pained emotion there. He resisted the urge to apologize again. Before he could speak, she turned toward him, face clear of any distress.
“Was there something you wanted to discuss in private?”
“No. Though it seems a better place to make a fool of myself than in public.”
“Ignorance doesn't make you a fool. You didn't know.”
There was a very specific something that he did not know, and it gnawed at him. “Who am I to you?”
“Number One.” Picard's voice issued from his comm badge just as she opened her mouth to answer.
He tapped his badge. “Yes, Captain?”
“Is Commander Troi still with you?”
“Yes.”
“Meet me in transporter room two, Captain Crusher is coming aboard.”
“On our way, sir.”
She slipped out of his quarters ahead of him, regardless of not knowing the way. If he knew her better, he would have been tempted to say she was enjoying herself. Putting his frustration, and a bit of amusement, aside, he went after her before she could get herself lost.
“I don't enjoy making a fool of myself in public either.” She was waiting in the hall, having only just stepped to the side of the door.
He highly doubted she could make a fool of herself, even if she tried.
“Well then, I'll do my best to make sure that doesn't happen.”
-
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