Variations On A Theme Chp 2/4
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Summary: Kara sleeps with Laura instead of Baltar the night of the Colonial Day celebration.
Beta: fragrantwoods
-
"Ah! There you are."
Kara's fingers spasmed around the cards in her hands. She had just gotten off of her CAP rotation, and had been hoping for some mindless relaxing. The rest of the pilots at the table let their eyes drift between her and Baltar.
"I believe I lost track of you last night, Lieutenant."
"I believe you did." She kept her eyes forward, if she didn't look at him he would go away. Maybe.
"I'm heading out with the survey team. I thought we could catch up when I got back."
"Have fun with that." She laid her cards on the table, scooping up the cubits she had won. There were several grumbles as people realized she was pulling out of the game, but no one said anything. "See ya later Doc."
"Ah, yes, yes." He had turned his focus to her side, suddenly a million miles away.
Kara resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She should have just waited for him to zone out, and then she wouldn't have had to even talk to him. He had probably already forgotten her rebuff. She froze stepping out of the hatch, and looked over her shoulder to see Lee's eyes boring into her back. She hunched her shoulders and hurried into the hall.
It didn't take long for Lee to catch up to her.
"Kara, wait."
She didn't want to wait. She didn't want to frakking talk to anyone. He just lengthened his stride until he was walking next to her.
"Where were you last night?"
"I fail to see where this is your concern, sir."
"It is my concern when one of my pilots fails to report in in the morning."
"I'm here now."
He threw his hand out to the wall, barring her way with his arm.
"It was a party Lee, what the frak do you think happened?"
"Fine."
He dropped his arm and she bumped him with her shoulder as she passed.
-
The raider was being difficult again. He. She. It. She. Kara had to abandon the deck crew's efforts to outfit her after Lee's visit and reprimand. Making people yell at her was commonplace enough, but it bothered her today. She had memories of smiles and laughter that only happened because of her, and that made Lee's words strike a harder blow than she was used to. Yelling was familiar. She should have been able to take comfort in that, been able to at least be indifferent.
Kara abandoned her cane on her bunk, wanting to feel the stretch and burn in her muscles and tendons as she wandered the corridors. She needed a distraction from the confusion that had been hounding her since she woke up. Since she had time to stop and think about what had happened last night. How utterly ridiculous and unbelievable it was.
Had she really slipped away from a party and ducked behind a water fixture on Cloud Nine with the President? Laura had been giggling at something like a university freshman and Kara had only been able to stare at her. She was sure of that at least, Kara could see the other woman clearly in her mind when she thought of it. Had she kissed her then? Was that the first time she had kissed her? It was a blur. She had been enjoying herself. She'd been.. happy. Not that happiness ever lingered.
There was the silence Laura had left them with the next morning. That suffocating absence of words hadn't been completely Kara's fault. The President had wanted her gone.
Her knee gave a particularly sharp twinge and she had to stop, slowly stretching it in the hall and forcing others to walk around her. She thought of Laura's fingers on her ankle, along her calf. When was it she thought that was the strangest thing to happen?
How was it more strange than the President laughing with her? More strange than feeling good in her presence? At least until... at least until she'd left. Been told to slink out with her head low, like nothing good had happened.
Laura had been warm and in her lap and kissing her just before and how had that not been good? She hadn't seemed like she wanted Kara to leave then, but of course she had.
Who would be happy to be around her?
"Lieutenant Thrace?"
Billy.
Kara stopped her stretches, turning uneasily towards the aide. He had appeared at a juncture as if from nowhere.
"Would you come with me please?"
He had no reason to want to talk to her. Which meant there was only one reason he would talk to her. The President. She gave a jerky nod and clasped her hands behind her back before following. Walking through the halls of Galactica shouldn't have suddenly felt so different. Shouldn't have felt like walking to a court martial.
Okay. Alright. So what if the President's aide had just come and gotten her? It didn't have to mean anything. Except his shoulders were tense and his lips were pressed into a thin line and she had frakked his boss last night. Was this about that? This morning? Would the President really have come all the way to Galactica to talk to her about this? The fleet was in an uproar over the discovery of the planet. Kobol. Of the loss of the survey team. Surely Kara was the last thing on her mind? Unlike Kara's mind which seemed stuck like a badly rusted piece of machinery.
She didn't ask questions. She didn't want to seem like she had no idea what was happening.
The guards outside the hatch kept their eyes ahead as they stepped through, and Kara was glad. She recognized them from the previous night. Were they aware of what was about to happen?
"Ma'am, are you alright?"
The concern in Billy's voice made Kara immediately zero-in on the President. Laura was standing at the end of the long conference table, back leaning slightly against its side, fingers gripping the edge. Her head was bowed and Kara saw the exhaustion she had only caught of glimpse of that morning. Did this woman ever have a break? Was that what this morning had been to her?
She seriously needed more downtime if that was the case.
Laura stepped away from the table, pulling her head up. "Fine, Billy thank you." Her focus went to Kara. "Could you give us a moment?"
"Of course."
His eyes were on her as he left. Did he know? Was that why he looked so frayed? The President ordering him to collect her booty call in the middle of the day?
"Lieutenant."
"Sir."
No "I'll call you Kara, you call me Laura" here. No sliding into her lap and only stopping because Kara said she had to go. It was true, and she had meant to get those words out, but would it have been so bad if she hadn't? What could have happened had she laid her back down on that couch? Could they still have been there, until the discovery of Kobol pulled them away?
Heat crawled under her skin and she hoped she didn't flush with the thought.
Laura moved so that she stood in front of the long table, directly in front of her. She was in pants, not a skirt today. Kara's mind's eye could still see her bare legs.
"I understand that you're the pilot chosen to fly the raider."
"Yes sir." What was this? Was last night not supposed to have happened, or was she checking up on her now? The formality was just as confusing as its absence had been on waking up next to her.
"That's a dangerous mission."
Was she worried about her? Why would she care? Their last few minutes together hadn't been all that fantastic, so why was she here? "Every day in this fleet is dangerous."
The President hummed, turning to pick up a glass of water behind her. "That's certainly true."
"Sir, why am I here?" To frak? To forget?
Laura finished her drink and set it back down slowly, drawing out the silence after the question. "I don't want you to take the raider into the basestar, Lieutenant. I want you to pilot it back to Caprica."
"What?" Obviously she wasn't trying to check up on her. This woman was just insane.
"Kobol is a marker on the way to Earth. In order to fully learn what it has to offer, we need the Arrow of Apollo, which is back on Caprica."
"That's insane."
Her eyes narrowed and her lips tightened. "Be that as it may, it's what I'm asking."
Not so long ago she had been asking if she preferred tea or coffee. The day could get stranger.
"Hear me out."
Could she really refuse? Would the guards think it odd if she suddenly reappeared so quickly? Kara convinced herself to nod.
"Do you believe in the gods?"
What the frak? "Yes. Not that it's your business." Frakking didn't have to be personal. She had no reason to share anything with this woman. Except she was the President, the frakking Commander in Chief, and if she couldn't order the information out of her, she could just look at her files.
"Then you believe in the cycle of time."
Time. What the frak was time but the space between when they had breakfast and now? From having her lips pressed against hers, rather than together in anger?
"You believe we are all playing roles in a story told again, and again-"
"I don't need a recounting of my faith, Madame President."
"We all have our roles to play, Lieutenant."
Kara's nails dug in her wrists behind her back. A reminder to shut the frak up and remember who she was talking to. This woman had ordered the destruction of a civilian ship, the torture and execution of a Clyon. Her hands held together the last remnants of humanity and Kara's breast filled her palm perfectly. She drank tea in the morning while going over reports before breakfast. If she ever ate breakfast.
"I'm dying."
"What?" Her fingers shook and her nails dug deeper into her skin. The pain she registered made sense, but she couldn't tell if it was coming from her hands or Laura's words.
"The scriptures tell us... that a dying leader will guide humanity to the promised land. I believe that is my role. If you go back to Caprica and bring us the Arrow-"
"You can't be dying." Kara wanted to stand her ground, stare back into the eyes across from her until she admitted to telling a lie. Her gaze wouldn't hold and her focus jumped to the edge of the President's glasses, the corner of the room, the empty glass of water.
Laura crossed her arms, leaning back until she touched the table behind her. It took her several breaths before her moving lips produced sound. "I have terminal breast cancer, and I've been told I have six months left to live. I haven't told many people."
Gods sake, no wonder this woman didn't want reporters snooping around her life. How the frak had they not found this out already?
"I'd appreciate it, if-"
"I won't. I still won't. From earlier. I still won't."
"Thank you."
Kara stared at the distance between them. It would be easy to step forward. If she would just step forward. Her mind went back to the hug they had shared in CIC. The tentativeness she had felt from Laura when she reached back to put her arms around her. It hadn't been awkward, but for a tiny moment before either of them relaxed, Kara knew they were unsure. She was certain now, that neither of them was used to it. To the idea of simply being held by someone. Then, for a small fraction of a moment, they had both forgotten that they didn't know what they were doing. It had been good to be held.
Laura stepped forward, and it seemed to Kara that she was about to put her arms back around her again.
There was still a distance between them when she spoke. "The Arrow is essential in finding the way to Earth."
The real topic of their conversation. What the frak was wrong with her, thinking about hugs? She had still managed to relax, the shock of learning about the President's illness fading.
"The Old Man knows where Earth is. He'll take us there."
It wasn't as exasperated as she was used to, but Kara still recognized the look on the President' s face. The 'why did it have to be you?' look. She closed her eyes and took a breath while Kara's instincts screamed at her to run.
"Commander Adama has no idea where Earth is."
No.
"He made it up."
Liar.
"He wanted to give you hope."
"No. Just because he didn't tell you doesn't mean he doesn't know."
"Ask him." The words were hollow, resigned.
It was a challenge. It had to be. Kara didn't back down from a challenge. She'd expressed as much to the woman across from her last night. Something about the way she had said it then had made Laura laugh, though not in mockery. She had kissed her after. Was that the first time she had kissed her?
"I will." She didn't turn. She didn't leave.
The way Laura was looking at her, she must have expected her to do just that.
"I..." She had never frakked a dying woman before. She'd been with plenty of liars, and Laura Roslin had to be a liar, because the Old Man knew where they were going. He was going to get them home. The Old Man wasn't a liar. But how was she supposed to know? The woman across from her hadn't felt like she was dying and now she didn't sound like she was lying. Kara was lost. From the softening look in Laura's eyes, she had noticed. She didn't need this woman's pity. Kara turned sharply but it took a second for her to step away.
The screech of the hatch opening cut off what might have been her name.
The guards didn't look at her as she passed them. They had no idea what the frak was happening. That the world was going to fall apart around them, soon enough- again. That someone they looked to for leadership was lying about something so important, that...
The bottle of pills.
The bottle of pills she had seen Laura with that morning. Kara's stomach twisted and her throat went dry.
There was at least one thing the President wasn't lying about.
-
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter