I may have lost it.
"But nothing ever happens"
(I'm pretty sure hannah will know what song I mean)
I've basically come to realize after far too long that you aren't worth waiting for, but I guess I need you to tell me that for it to truly set in. Sure I'll hang around a bit but in the end I'll go, and it's ok if you dont notice. I can always tell myself it is. I feel pretty lame writing about this all on some dumb website but part of me felt these words needed to get out of my real journal to a place someone would see them. The part of me that wants to be heard. I've also come to the conclusion that I have enough self respect not to fuck myself over about something stupid. so I'll shut up for now, and not much will change.
I spent a lot of a solid day a few months ago writing about you on the subway. I look back at it all now and, shit, everything has just gotten worse since then. A lot of it went out like some dumb teen journal entry, which was what it was. But it sort of came down to this.
Vivamus et amemus, mea Lesbia.
It means "Let us live and let us love, my lesbia" but thats not the point. The point is that Lesbia was not the true name of the poet's lover, everything he wrote had a bit of a secret hidden in it. I've left a lot of pretty obvious hidden secrets lying around and you've probably picked them up and let them go.
I'm listening to a cd you made me a long time ago.
and I'm going to leave it at this:
Let us live, though we may not love, my Lesbia
(I'm pretty sure hannah will know what song I mean)
I've basically come to realize after far too long that you aren't worth waiting for, but I guess I need you to tell me that for it to truly set in. Sure I'll hang around a bit but in the end I'll go, and it's ok if you dont notice. I can always tell myself it is. I feel pretty lame writing about this all on some dumb website but part of me felt these words needed to get out of my real journal to a place someone would see them. The part of me that wants to be heard. I've also come to the conclusion that I have enough self respect not to fuck myself over about something stupid. so I'll shut up for now, and not much will change.
I spent a lot of a solid day a few months ago writing about you on the subway. I look back at it all now and, shit, everything has just gotten worse since then. A lot of it went out like some dumb teen journal entry, which was what it was. But it sort of came down to this.
Vivamus et amemus, mea Lesbia.
It means "Let us live and let us love, my lesbia" but thats not the point. The point is that Lesbia was not the true name of the poet's lover, everything he wrote had a bit of a secret hidden in it. I've left a lot of pretty obvious hidden secrets lying around and you've probably picked them up and let them go.
I'm listening to a cd you made me a long time ago.
and I'm going to leave it at this:
Let us live, though we may not love, my Lesbia