Sick Muse - Chapter One
Title: Sick Muse
Author: marzg
Pairings: Quinn/Puck; Quinn/Rachel friendship
Rating: PG-13 for language
Word count: 2,175
Author's note: I wrote this prior to the back nine and published it on my ff.net account and my personal blog. Anyway, this is my version of what should/could have happened.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. I merely used Ryan Murphy's amazing characters to get me out of my writer's block.
Summary: Quinn and Puck have agreed to "play nice" now that the baby-daddy truth is out. Too bad there's a whole lot of UST standing in the way of them having a normal relationship...
Noah Puckerman knew exactly what was wrong with the scene in front of him. He gaped in confusion as women practiced their breathing, holding their partner's hand for comfort. Among the throng of men and women, sat a blond beauty-a look of unease and mistrust etched on her porcelain face. It was a strange sight: McKinley's former head cheerleader sitting there amongst the pillows and strangers, breathing in and huffing out. It looked like she didn't get that that the key to Lamaze was to relax... Judging from the pained expression she currently wore, she was far from feeling at ease. (He knew he should be there with her.)
The class came to an end and people gathered their belongings. Quinn watched as the men and women started filing out the door and didn't stand to gather her things until they were all gone. Water bottle, shoes, jacket. Check, check, check. She hunched over to lift her heavy schoolbag, but a pair of hands got to it first. She recognized the person's hands before she even had the chance to look him in the eye-she'd seen those hands every day since pre-Kindergarten.
"Puck." She acknowledged, averting her green eyes from meeting his hazel ones. Shifting uncomfortably because of Puck's proximity to her, she turned towards the door. Puck rolled his eyes and followed. It was always this way with Quinn. She still hadn't quite gotten used to his presence (Probably never will, he thought honestly), but he knew that letting him help her had been a huge step for her. Not a day went by that he didn't blame himself for what Quinn was going through, and he'd do anything to be there for her. Hell, he would do anything if it meant that they could keep their little girl. He just wanted to be a good father and provider and it was lucky for him that Quinn had given in-letting him wear her down slowly and (begrudgingly) letting him into her life.
After the truth behind her little girl's paternity had been revealed (and Quinn's entire world had fallen apart), she had moved from Finn's house to Brittany's. She didn't quite like living with the spacey blond, but Brittany was a good friend, almost child-like in her kindness, and she had welcomed Quinn into her home with open arms. When Puck found out that Quinn had moved in with Brittany, he had insisted on Quinn moving in with his family, instead. He wanted to be there for her, take care of her, provide for her, live with her, be with... That is, he wanted to be involved in the little girl's life, Quinn kept reminding herself.
During one of his visits, their fight had gotten so heated that Brittany's parents had asked Puck to leave. The look on his face, worse than if she had slapped him, was ingrained in Quinn's mind. He looked like a lost puppy, not understanding what he could do to prove to Quinn that he was willing to make things work.
Puck was halfway out the door when something inside of Quinn told her that this would be the last time Puck would offer his help. She realized in that moment that without Puck, she would be left alone. As if controlled by someone else, Quinn shot up and ran to the door, pulling Puck in. As Puck looked into her eyes, he realized she was letting him see how frightened she felt, showing him that she trusted him. He pulled her into a hug and they stood at the door, Quinn's shoulders heaving in heavy sobs while Puck stroked her hair.
Since that night, Puck and Quinn had decided to "play nice", as he called it. They were having a kid (whether Quinn was happy with it or not) and they had to share the responsibility. Quinn had been unwilling at first (it was her kid, her mess, her choice), but ever since Puck had seen her eyes filled with terror, he hadn't left her side. He drove her and Brittany to school, drove her to doctor's appointments and drove her to Lamaze. He'd even offered to attend, but Quinn didn't want Puck in the room when she gave birth, so why bother?
Puck opened the passenger door for Quinn. "Thanks," she mumbled. He smiled to himself, thinking: We're still monosyllabic, but at least she's letting me drive her around. As they drove back to Brittany's, Quinn slowly turned to face him. There was something on her mind and she needed to make sure Puck got the message.
"Your mom still doesn't know, does she?" Puck's hands gripped the steering wheel a tiny bit tighter, but he lied calmly.
"Yeah," he scoffed. "I told her." He risked a glance in her direction only to see her raise her left eyebrow in disbelief. He rolled his eyes (Quinn scoffed in annoyance. His eyes will get stuck that way if he's not careful.), sighed and confessed. "Okay. No. I haven't, but my mom's hardly ever home. Besides, you don't even want me in the room when she's born, so what do you care?"
Anger bubbled up in her chest. "Because you're lying to her," she spat. "I remember your mom from when we were growing up. Summers spent at your house while my parents went on holiday. Your mom was like my other mother and with you lying to her, I feel like I'm lying too." She crossed her arms over her chest, glaring daggers out the window.
"Look, Fabray. My mom doesn't need to know, okay? She's busy. Besides, what's she gonna do? The truth won't do anything but make her stress more about me, you and, well, Finn." At the mention of Finn's name, Quinn whipped her head around. Noticing her reaction, Puck unsuccessfully tried to keep from rolling his eyes (Yeah, get excited over Finn Dumbson's name. It's not like it doesn't hurt.) and stared straight ahead, ignoring Quinn's gaze. "He hasn't been to the house since mid-December," he said hesitantly. "And I don't talk about him, so my mom's worried. She cares about him..." he finished with a shrug.
Quinn turned her gaze back to the passenger window, but she was no longer glaring. They stopped at a stoplight and she lightly touched his shoulder. He looked at her out the corner of his eye, his eyebrows rising skeptically, and he slowly turned his mohawked head to look at the pregnant teen at his side. "I'm sorry for trying to convince you. It's just, if I had had the chance to tell my parents sooner, well, maybe I wouldn't be an orphan right now."
"You're not an orphan," he smiled at her, shaking his head softly.
"I might as well be an orphan." Quinn insisted. "It's not like they care about me. To them I'm a prostitute." Puck winced at her words. "I just don't want your mom thinking I've ruined your life… Making you stress over a baby we're not going to keep..." she sounded almost as though she were pleading with him. Puck smiled sadly into her green eyes and put the car into drive. He considered what Quinn had said and realized she wasn't completely wrong. The sooner his mom knew about their little girl, the better. Either I tell her or she finds out when Quinn pops, right?
He smiled, risking a quick glance at Quinn as they drove on. "Hey, you wanna get some fries or a frostie?"
"Is your head egg-shaped?" Quinn answered and Puck could hear the smile in her voice. He rolled his eyes, a smile forming on his own lips as he looked at her. Quinn's mischievous smile grew wider as she nodded and with that, they made a U-Turn and headed back to the Wendy's two blocks down.
Later that night, Puck lay in bed worrying about his future and Quinn's. He mulled over Quinn's words, contemplating what would happen if he told his mom. He knew that Quinn was right, but he couldn't bring himself to heap more worry on her plate. He knew his little sister, Hannah, had been acting out in school (she was Puckerman through and through), but he worried that the news of Quinn's pregnancy would be too much for his old ma.
There was a quick knock on his door and Hannah bounced in, not waiting for a reply. She was in her soccer uniform, grass stains on her shins and jersey, but she was happy. "Hey, Noooo-ah!"
"Hey, how was the big game?" He asked, ruffling her hair. She shrugged.
"Was okay. I got into a fight." She announced proudly. Puck shook his head profusely.
"Hannah. I told you to cut that out." He whined, knowing that his mom was already stressed about bills, work, him... and now she had Hannah to worry about, too? "Did you get kicked out of the game?"
Hannah smirked. "Heck yes." But when she saw the look of annoyance on her older brother's face, she quickly added. "But mom doesn't know! She won't have to know… I won't tell."
"Hannah, it's not just about telling mom or not." Puck shook his head. He seemed to being doing that a lot since Hannah started acting out. He felt like a parent, already. Always worrying about his little sister, making sure she wasn't doing any of the dumb shit he and Finn (well, really, it was mostly him) used to do. If she was this much trouble at age nine, he could only imagine the premature grey hair he was bound to get during Hannah's teens. Puck shuddered internally. "How many games are you missing?"
"… Just one. Next week's." She didn't meet his eyes.
"That's an away game, Hannah! Mom will find out, since she's driving you all the way to Cleveland!" They heard the front door open. "Shit. She's home."
Hannah gaped at her brother. "You said a swear!" Puck merely rolled his eyes. He watched as she ran out of his room, mouthing along with her as she yelled out, "MOM!"
Quinn sat on the edge of the mattress, listening to Brittany go on and on about some mindless thing from school. Quinn tried to be as polite as possible, but when you're seven months pregnant, it's kind of hard paying attention to shit you don't really care about. She was more concerned with the ache she was experiencing just under her ribcage. She tried stretching, but couldn't get comfortable.
"Puck's still not talking to Finn," Brittany offered. Quinn stopped stretching and raised her eyebrows as if insisting that Brittany continue. "Well, they were practicing this new play and Puck got really annoyed because Finn wouldn't pass the ball. Finn's the captain and all, but Puck's their best shot at winning." Brittany shrugged. "Guess Finn's still pissed, huh?"
"What gave you that impression?" Quinn asked sarcastically. Seeing the look on Britanny's face, she plastered a sweet smile on her face and continued. "Well, he can be pissed for all I care." Quinn lied. "Besides, he's acting like a major baby." Brittany stared at Quinn's bulbous stomach, causing Quinn to shift self-consciously as she continued. "I mean, he has a right to be angry, but it'd be good for the entire team if scouts from universities came to check them out." Maybe then I wouldn't feel so bad for ruining their lives… both he and Puck could just leave Lima forever and forget this ever happened.
Brittany nodded. "Yeah, Coach was so mad." She imitated Coach Tanaka's gruff voice. "'You're a team, guys. There's no I in team,'" Brittany cocked her head to the side. "Like… I know there's no I in team, but there is an M and an E… M-E... ME! Do you think that was on purpose?" With her head cocked like that and her mouth gaping open in excitement, Quinn was suddenly reminded of a dog. She bit her tongue; no need to insult the only friend she had left... again.
"Doubt it, Brit. Anyway, we should get to bed. Puck's picking us up at 6:45." Brittany groaned. "Or you can sleep in and walk to school…" Quinn offered, smirking.
"Nah, I'll take the car ride over the walk, thanks." She hopped to her feet, hugged Quinn tight and blew a kiss to her belly. "Night, angel." And with that, Quinn was left all alone.
She stretched out on her borrowed bed, gently pushing under her sore ribcage, wondering if the baby was uncomfortable.
As she stroked her stomach, Quinn's thoughts bounced off one another in her head. Would Puck tell his mom the truth? Would Puck and Finn ever go back to being friends? Would Finn ever talk to her again? Would her parents understand why she had behaved the way she did? Would she make up her mind about her little girl...? Would... Finn forgive her...?... Yawn. Would she... forgive... herself...?
And as she drifted to sleep, she thought one last thing before being engulfed by darkness… I wonder if she's comfortable?