This one's nothing special, but boy does everyone act like she is.
"Hey, Naoki, I was wondering, how would you like to come round mine tonight, ya know, to study." I looked up at him with an eyebrow raised. "You're kidding right?" He didn't answer and I sighed. "Not today Light." He frowned. "Why not?" I continued to read my book, not even bothering to look at him. "Why d'ya think?" He still continued to frown. "Well, will you at least give it a second thought?." This time I looked at him. "Maybe, I can't make any promises though."
L: And it continues, on to her rejection of even the idea of her and Light.
Some of the girls were giggling behind me. I heard them mention Light and me going out together. 'Uhhh, the thought of me and Light together...uhhh unthinkable'
Mello: Aww, look at that, in her pious little soul she must sense you’re a nogoodnick, Light.
L: But nevertheless, because this is the Mary-Sue-niverse, fate contrives to put you two alone together after all.
The teacher called us all to attention. "I want all of you study hard tonight, work in partners." I groaned. It was only a matter of seconds before "Hey Naoki, ready to take up my offer to come round mine?”
L: Which ultimately culminates with this,
Sure enough things at his got a little better each passing minute. I could feel a friendship blossoming between us. But unfortunately for Light, that was all.
Light: Bite me. This girl hasn’t done anything except fail to solve a math problem and treat me like sh*t, why in the hell would I be in love with her? I have girls lining up to date me. Hell, I have girls lining up to kill for me, and I don’t care about any of them. Suck on that one.
Mello: Do you practice being a cold-*ss mother f*cker, or does it come naturally?
L: He practices. I have it on tape. Anyway, here’s where her mom comes to pick her up. Pay attention, I picked this for a reason,
"He seems nice Naoki, he'll make a good boyfriend." "MOM!" She cackled. "He's a nice guy but I'm looking for someone quiet and kind. Not a popular, 'the hottest guy in school' type of guy." "Whatever you say my sweet daughter." As we got in the car and drove off I began to wounder. 'Will I ever find Mr right?'
L: It’s worth saying here that for a few brief shining moments, I had second thoughts about this suethor. Here she wrote in a nice scene of a girl and her mother, with the mother gently teasing her daughter. It wasn’t bad writing, either. Except for the Mr. Right comment.
Mello: But, of course, that all goes down the drain pretty fast as we jump immediately to this little gem,
As I watched her leave I felt an unending sense of glee. Naoki, new girl and all around perfect woman…Naoki was the newest girl in his life, but she was different from all of the others. He just wanted them for sex. None of the other girls had been smart enough for his love. But not Naoki. No, she was far greater than them. 'Naoki. You will be the goddess of the new world. You and I shall always be lovers.' This is where my plan hit a snag though. I adored Naoki, but as far as I knew, she didn't love me. 'Damn!' I would have to get her to love me. And although it won't be easy, eventually, she'll be mine.
Mello: At this point, I’ve been so inundated with everyone talking about beautiful, smart, charming, wonderful Naoki, I’m vomiting up bits of half-digested chocolate that look like the b*tch.
Light: Lurid, but fair. We’ve all become mouth pieces whose sole function is to talk about how fabulous Naoki-Sue is. No one seems to be able to talk about anything else, our very consciousness is immobilized as our whole universe slowly rotates to revolve around this girl.
L: And the very idea that Light-kun used people for sex is ludicrous. He had beautiful women throwing themselves at him all the time and he didn’t respond. Its very clear the only thing Light-kun ever orgasmed to was murder.
::: Silence :::
Light: Did you just say that?! Did you really just say that when I’m standing right here, right next to you?!
L: Well, it’s true! Isn’t it?
Light: You’re the one who practically had cameras up my *ss the whole time, you tell me!
Mello: Alright guys, lets not fight. L is a hunchback with no sense of what’s appropriate, and Light is a sexless weirdo who gets off on death. Let’s just agree to disagree.
Light: Yeah, but-!
L: Hunchback-?
Mello: In this scene, we start to get a hint of how much of a genius Naoki is. L can solve cases with very little evidence, but Naoki is so much of a genius that she can crack cases with absolutely no evidence whatsoever:
"Well...last night, I heard about this guy called 'Kira'. He can, apparently kill people just by writing down their names and I wanted to know what you think of him." Light stopped in his footsteps and visibly stiffened, his eyes wide. I looked back at him with a worried look on my face. "Light, what's wrong?" He shook his head and smiled at me. "Hey d'ya wanna go to a cafe for a drink?" 'Why did he just change the subject...He must be hiding something from me.' I thought. But I said yes anyways.
Mello: Then we’ve got this,
"So, Light." He looked up from the table. "When I asked you about Kira, why did you change the subject?" He stiffened again, this time not coming out of it."Light?" He didn't answer, instead he asked for the bill even though I hadn't finished my drink. 'What the hell's wrong with him today? He acts as if he's frickin Kira!'
Light: Yeah, because Kira goes around the city paying for people’s drinks. What a monster. Somebody call out the National Guard. Arm the nukes; he’s paying with an Amex.
Mello: What a f*ckwad.
L: This is absolutely typical. Every single Mary Sue figures out you’re Kira because of a few averted glances or absolutely nothing.
Mello: It gets better. Here’s the part where you go from high school Cassanova to an obsessive, needy, creepy rapist.
Light: Oh crap.
We got to his place, once again in silence and went up to his room to study. That's when it happened.
Light stood up from his desk and came over to me on the bed. He crouched down in front of me and took my pencil from my hands and held them, me still lying on the bed. "Naoki, I can't hide it from you anymore." He stopped for a second, as if he was thinking about something then continued. "I love you." My eyes widened and i yanked my hands from his, standing up from his bed. "Well, as nice as that is Light, I'm not in love with you." This was so uncomfortable for me now. "Please, Naoki, you are my life, my world. Ever since the first time that I saw you I knew that we should be together." He stated, walking closer towards me. I backed away further from him, placing my hands in front of me. "Light, you don't know what you're talking about." "Yes I do. In fact I've never been so sure in my entire life. Please, let me share my life with you." My eyes widened in fear. "Light, I think I'm gonna go home now okay?" I went to grab my bag but Light grabbed my arm before I could reach it. "Light let go now please." He did just the opposite though. He pulled me into a tight hug.
He stroked my light brown hair and began to talk. "Oh Naoki, I love you so much, I don't think that I can be without you." "Light let go. Don't make me make you!" He didn't let go so I did the next best thing. "I'm sorry Light but you left me no choice." I apologized before I kicked him in the groin. He went down like a sack of spuds.
Mello: Ding ding ding! Time to whip out the ole pinball machine, we’ve got another Sue ready and willing to turn Light into a rapist.
Light: H’okay, well, I’ve seen enough. :::pulls out death note::: How do you spell Naoki? N, a -
L: Light, you can’t kill your true love!
Light: Up yours, L.
L: No really, read the next passage from a little later on.
I loved Naoki for what she was, a gorgeous, sweet and smart woman. 'Kira's goddess. My goddess.' I smiled to myself as I sat down on her couch.
Light: My goddess? You have got to be kidding me! At this point, my character has been pulverized into tiny pieces that this Mary Sue is snorting for crack. I don’t even have any dignity anymore, all I’m fit to do is obsess over this girl.
Mello: Welcome to the Mary-Sue-Niverse.
L: That’s bad, but this one was much more irritating.
I grabbed my bag and headed to Light's. Over the past few weeks he had become one of my greatest of friends. But unlucky him, I still didn't love him, much to his despair. 'I've got to give him credit though, he does try extremely hard to get me to fall in love with him.'
Light: So its not bad enough that I have nothing better to do that talk about how wonderful she is, stalk her, fall in love with her, try to rape her, no, I’ve also got to be the recipient of her gracious pity for being so hopelessly smitten with her? I should be put down like a dog.
Mello: Look’s that way, mate.
L: Yes, well, if it makes you feel better, you’re not alone. I also have the illness that makes one do nothing but moon over Naoki.
Light: Great. I can tell where this is going.
"Ryuga, would you like me to be your friend? " Light, again stiffened next to me but I continued to look at the man across from me. His panda like eyes staring deep into mine. ….'I believe I'm falling in love with Hideki Ryuga.'
L: After knowing me for five minutes.
Light: “His panda like eyes staring deep into mine as he slowly chewed his stalk of bamboo, pausing briefly to scratch a few fleas out of his furry hair.”
L: Hey!
Light: That’s for the crack about me getting off on murder.
Mello: Tsk tsk, gentlemen, we haven’t even gotten to some of the better parts yet. Here’s where you, Light, find out that Miss Naoki has an ursine fetish of the panda variety.
I was seething with anger. L was flirting with my love and she was falling for it. She was my goddess, not that bastard L's! I'll have to change her mind. She has to fall in love with me. If she falls in love with L, I'll...I'll have to kill her! 'Kill the woman I love? Would I ever do that? No. I'll kill L first, then, if she still refuses to be mine then, only then will I kill her.'
L: Well, that’s kind-of canon.
Light: Eh, maybe a little.
Mello: But this isn’t!
'Naoki Takami, what is it about you that captivates me so?' Could it have been her light chestnut hair, her bright blue eyes? 'No!' Appearance didn't matter to me. I watched her laugh at something I said and smiled lightly. I felt a weird tingling sensation in the middle of my chest and frowned. 'What is this feeling?' "Is something wrong Ryuga?" I woke from my daze and looked at her and was about to answer when my cell phone rang.
Mello: The Naoki disease is spreading. Now L can’t seem to keep his head screwed on right when Naoki is in the room.
Light: Argh, the girl makes me want to scream. ‘Captivates?’ Really? You actually use this trite language? In this century? It’s like I stepped in Wuthering Heights, rewritten for small turtles with massive head trauma.
Mello: I think Naoki might actually be a small turtle with massive head trauma.
L: It would explain why everyone likes her.
Mello: …huh?
Light: What?
L: Little turtles are cute! And stupid little turtles are even cuter, the way that walk around in little circles but don’t get anywhere…
Mello: What’s wrong with you?
Light: Sounds like Naoki to me. What’s next?
Mello: This is the bit where, as per regulation 666.666.666 of the Mary-Sue code, we get to see the sad, abusive past of our dear, darling, captivating little turtle. Mother f*cker, its amazing how these sues always follow the same formulas,
Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I heard my cell phone ring again. It was mom again. "HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME YOU WHORE!" She screamed. "You were the one who hung up on me" "YOU ADOPTED LITTLE BITCH!" My heart stopped. 'Adopted?' "W-what do you mean adopted?" "YOU'RE MOMMY NEVER WANTED YOU! SHE KNEW WHAT A SLUT YOU WERE AND LEFT YOU! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I TOOK YOU! IT WAS A MISTAKE THAT I'LL SOON CORRECT!" I hung up the phone and dropped it to the floor. "Adopted...I'm adopted." I placed my hands over my eyes and cried in the corridor. I heard the room's door open but continued to cry. "Naoki what's wrong?" It was Light. He crouched down next to me and put an arm on my shoulder. "Naoki, tell me what's wrong?" "Oh Light. She said I was adopted." I sobbed "Who said you were?" "My mother... she-" I couldn't continue my sentence because I once again began to cry. Light put his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. "It's okay Naoki, its okay." "Light...I can't go home anymore. She'll kill me if I do I know it."
L: I cannot even begin to tell you how angry this made me. Remember just a few chapters ago we had that little scene, not Naoki-centric nor Naoki-worshiping, unrelated to the story and even a little endearing, where we got to see a scene of teasing between a mother and daughter where we could almost-almost-see them as real people who genuinely cared for each other? Nope, that’s all out the window now.
Light: All out the window because the Suethor needed to up the drama and elevate her sue to a martyr, graciously suffering the abuse of a parent, abuse so generic and banal it actually makes you laugh a little.
Mello: Welcome to the Mary-Sue-Niverse. And so, as a few diamond tears of sadness roll down Naoki’s porcelain cheeks, she decides to pack her bags and move in with L. Why does L allow this? Because, drumroll please:
In the few hours of knowing me, she and I had become friends. 'She would do the same for me if I were in this position. I know it'.
L: Bullsh*t.
Mello: L?! I’ve never heard you swear before.
L: Well it is. Its just bullsh*t.
It had been a couple of days since that incident at the hospital and L had agreed to let me live and travel with him, which I was very greatful for.
L: No way, come on, because of a little ‘surprise, you’re adopted’ drama? I’m an orphan who teaches at an orphanage! Doesn’t it occur to her that in such an event I would know how to process her through the proper channels, ensuring that all the legal aspects of her emancipation-if that’s what it came down to-were taken care of?
Mello: You forget, we’re in the Mary-Sue-Niverse now, where the laws of reason and plot are suspended, where character was hanged from the neck until dead, and where flocks of Mary-Sues gambol and play in the skeletal remains of the fandoms they’ve raped to death.
Light: I wish I had a shotgun.
Mello: You’re going to be wishing for way more than a shotgun when you read this bit,
There was no way in the world that I was gonna cry. No way!
I looked away from my friend trying to shake off the feeling of sorrow by looking at the cart of sweets, but before I could do that, Ryuzaki did the most out of character thing, I could ever think of him doing.
He grasped my chin lightly and turned it to face his smiling face. Then, after a moment of staring into each other's eyes, he kissed me.
The kiss lasted for a few minutes before we both parted for air. I blushed madly and laughed as I pulled the great detective into a not to tight hug. He responded by placing his arms around me to, then kissing me again, this time, more deeply.
We could have stayed like that forever but we were interrupted by a gasp from the doorway. We parted and saw Light and the rest of the team standing there, all with a shocked look on their faces. Well, all accept Light, and Matsuda.
"So, you two are going out huh? Well I'm very happy for the both of you."
I nodded and grasped my lovers hand in my own. "Thank you Light, I hope you too, find someone to share your life with." I felt Naoki kiss me on the cheek. I looked over to her and smiled, kissing her on the lips. I noticed Light stand up and exit the room as Naoki pulled me into a deeper kiss.
Lights POV
As I walked out of the room, I fumed. I was furious! How dare he kiss my love! Naoki was mine not L's! 'Damn you L!' I thought as I walked out of the hotel.
When I got to my house, I went to my room and sat on my bed, thinking about Naoki once again. That's when I got an idea. I grabbed my death note from my draw and opened it. I picked up a pen and placed the tip on the paper then stopped.
I didn't, couldn't kill Naoki. I loved her.
Light: Pfft, you don’t know me very well, do you sister? I’d kill my own mother to get ahead and you think you’re special?
L: Yes, she clearly does.
Mello: At least she’s right about one thing. It is pretty out of character for L to kiss anyone. Why she made him do it anyway, I suppose we’ll never know.
Light: So where does that leave us all? Spinning our collective wheels in some pointless love triangle that completely derails our entire universe, making us into drooling morons obsessed with some girl who adds nothing to our universe but the bare fact of her carbon presence?
Mello: Yeah, but at least we got Edward Cullen killed in the last spork.
Light: Well, I guess that’s something. Are we at the end of this, finally?
L: Yeah, it looks like she didn’t finish it.
Light: Thank god for small favors.
L: And it continues, on to her rejection of even the idea of her and Light.
Some of the girls were giggling behind me. I heard them mention Light and me going out together. 'Uhhh, the thought of me and Light together...uhhh unthinkable'
Mello: Aww, look at that, in her pious little soul she must sense you’re a nogoodnick, Light.
L: But nevertheless, because this is the Mary-Sue-niverse, fate contrives to put you two alone together after all.
The teacher called us all to attention. "I want all of you study hard tonight, work in partners." I groaned. It was only a matter of seconds before "Hey Naoki, ready to take up my offer to come round mine?”
L: Which ultimately culminates with this,
Sure enough things at his got a little better each passing minute. I could feel a friendship blossoming between us. But unfortunately for Light, that was all.
Light: Bite me. This girl hasn’t done anything except fail to solve a math problem and treat me like sh*t, why in the hell would I be in love with her? I have girls lining up to date me. Hell, I have girls lining up to kill for me, and I don’t care about any of them. Suck on that one.
Mello: Do you practice being a cold-*ss mother f*cker, or does it come naturally?
L: He practices. I have it on tape. Anyway, here’s where her mom comes to pick her up. Pay attention, I picked this for a reason,
"He seems nice Naoki, he'll make a good boyfriend." "MOM!" She cackled. "He's a nice guy but I'm looking for someone quiet and kind. Not a popular, 'the hottest guy in school' type of guy." "Whatever you say my sweet daughter." As we got in the car and drove off I began to wounder. 'Will I ever find Mr right?'
L: It’s worth saying here that for a few brief shining moments, I had second thoughts about this suethor. Here she wrote in a nice scene of a girl and her mother, with the mother gently teasing her daughter. It wasn’t bad writing, either. Except for the Mr. Right comment.
Mello: But, of course, that all goes down the drain pretty fast as we jump immediately to this little gem,
As I watched her leave I felt an unending sense of glee. Naoki, new girl and all around perfect woman…Naoki was the newest girl in his life, but she was different from all of the others. He just wanted them for sex. None of the other girls had been smart enough for his love. But not Naoki. No, she was far greater than them. 'Naoki. You will be the goddess of the new world. You and I shall always be lovers.' This is where my plan hit a snag though. I adored Naoki, but as far as I knew, she didn't love me. 'Damn!' I would have to get her to love me. And although it won't be easy, eventually, she'll be mine.
Mello: At this point, I’ve been so inundated with everyone talking about beautiful, smart, charming, wonderful Naoki, I’m vomiting up bits of half-digested chocolate that look like the b*tch.
Light: Lurid, but fair. We’ve all become mouth pieces whose sole function is to talk about how fabulous Naoki-Sue is. No one seems to be able to talk about anything else, our very consciousness is immobilized as our whole universe slowly rotates to revolve around this girl.
L: And the very idea that Light-kun used people for sex is ludicrous. He had beautiful women throwing themselves at him all the time and he didn’t respond. Its very clear the only thing Light-kun ever orgasmed to was murder.
::: Silence :::
Light: Did you just say that?! Did you really just say that when I’m standing right here, right next to you?!
L: Well, it’s true! Isn’t it?
Light: You’re the one who practically had cameras up my *ss the whole time, you tell me!
Mello: Alright guys, lets not fight. L is a hunchback with no sense of what’s appropriate, and Light is a sexless weirdo who gets off on death. Let’s just agree to disagree.
Light: Yeah, but-!
L: Hunchback-?
Mello: In this scene, we start to get a hint of how much of a genius Naoki is. L can solve cases with very little evidence, but Naoki is so much of a genius that she can crack cases with absolutely no evidence whatsoever:
"Well...last night, I heard about this guy called 'Kira'. He can, apparently kill people just by writing down their names and I wanted to know what you think of him." Light stopped in his footsteps and visibly stiffened, his eyes wide. I looked back at him with a worried look on my face. "Light, what's wrong?" He shook his head and smiled at me. "Hey d'ya wanna go to a cafe for a drink?" 'Why did he just change the subject...He must be hiding something from me.' I thought. But I said yes anyways.
Mello: Then we’ve got this,
"So, Light." He looked up from the table. "When I asked you about Kira, why did you change the subject?" He stiffened again, this time not coming out of it."Light?" He didn't answer, instead he asked for the bill even though I hadn't finished my drink. 'What the hell's wrong with him today? He acts as if he's frickin Kira!'
Light: Yeah, because Kira goes around the city paying for people’s drinks. What a monster. Somebody call out the National Guard. Arm the nukes; he’s paying with an Amex.
Mello: What a f*ckwad.
L: This is absolutely typical. Every single Mary Sue figures out you’re Kira because of a few averted glances or absolutely nothing.
Mello: It gets better. Here’s the part where you go from high school Cassanova to an obsessive, needy, creepy rapist.
Light: Oh crap.
We got to his place, once again in silence and went up to his room to study. That's when it happened.
Light stood up from his desk and came over to me on the bed. He crouched down in front of me and took my pencil from my hands and held them, me still lying on the bed. "Naoki, I can't hide it from you anymore." He stopped for a second, as if he was thinking about something then continued. "I love you." My eyes widened and i yanked my hands from his, standing up from his bed. "Well, as nice as that is Light, I'm not in love with you." This was so uncomfortable for me now. "Please, Naoki, you are my life, my world. Ever since the first time that I saw you I knew that we should be together." He stated, walking closer towards me. I backed away further from him, placing my hands in front of me. "Light, you don't know what you're talking about." "Yes I do. In fact I've never been so sure in my entire life. Please, let me share my life with you." My eyes widened in fear. "Light, I think I'm gonna go home now okay?" I went to grab my bag but Light grabbed my arm before I could reach it. "Light let go now please." He did just the opposite though. He pulled me into a tight hug.
He stroked my light brown hair and began to talk. "Oh Naoki, I love you so much, I don't think that I can be without you." "Light let go. Don't make me make you!" He didn't let go so I did the next best thing. "I'm sorry Light but you left me no choice." I apologized before I kicked him in the groin. He went down like a sack of spuds.
Mello: Ding ding ding! Time to whip out the ole pinball machine, we’ve got another Sue ready and willing to turn Light into a rapist.
Light: H’okay, well, I’ve seen enough. :::pulls out death note::: How do you spell Naoki? N, a -
L: Light, you can’t kill your true love!
Light: Up yours, L.
L: No really, read the next passage from a little later on.
I loved Naoki for what she was, a gorgeous, sweet and smart woman. 'Kira's goddess. My goddess.' I smiled to myself as I sat down on her couch.
Light: My goddess? You have got to be kidding me! At this point, my character has been pulverized into tiny pieces that this Mary Sue is snorting for crack. I don’t even have any dignity anymore, all I’m fit to do is obsess over this girl.
Mello: Welcome to the Mary-Sue-Niverse.
L: That’s bad, but this one was much more irritating.
I grabbed my bag and headed to Light's. Over the past few weeks he had become one of my greatest of friends. But unlucky him, I still didn't love him, much to his despair. 'I've got to give him credit though, he does try extremely hard to get me to fall in love with him.'
Light: So its not bad enough that I have nothing better to do that talk about how wonderful she is, stalk her, fall in love with her, try to rape her, no, I’ve also got to be the recipient of her gracious pity for being so hopelessly smitten with her? I should be put down like a dog.
Mello: Look’s that way, mate.
L: Yes, well, if it makes you feel better, you’re not alone. I also have the illness that makes one do nothing but moon over Naoki.
Light: Great. I can tell where this is going.
"Ryuga, would you like me to be your friend? " Light, again stiffened next to me but I continued to look at the man across from me. His panda like eyes staring deep into mine. ….'I believe I'm falling in love with Hideki Ryuga.'
L: After knowing me for five minutes.
Light: “His panda like eyes staring deep into mine as he slowly chewed his stalk of bamboo, pausing briefly to scratch a few fleas out of his furry hair.”
L: Hey!
Light: That’s for the crack about me getting off on murder.
Mello: Tsk tsk, gentlemen, we haven’t even gotten to some of the better parts yet. Here’s where you, Light, find out that Miss Naoki has an ursine fetish of the panda variety.
I was seething with anger. L was flirting with my love and she was falling for it. She was my goddess, not that bastard L's! I'll have to change her mind. She has to fall in love with me. If she falls in love with L, I'll...I'll have to kill her! 'Kill the woman I love? Would I ever do that? No. I'll kill L first, then, if she still refuses to be mine then, only then will I kill her.'
L: Well, that’s kind-of canon.
Light: Eh, maybe a little.
Mello: But this isn’t!
'Naoki Takami, what is it about you that captivates me so?' Could it have been her light chestnut hair, her bright blue eyes? 'No!' Appearance didn't matter to me. I watched her laugh at something I said and smiled lightly. I felt a weird tingling sensation in the middle of my chest and frowned. 'What is this feeling?' "Is something wrong Ryuga?" I woke from my daze and looked at her and was about to answer when my cell phone rang.
Mello: The Naoki disease is spreading. Now L can’t seem to keep his head screwed on right when Naoki is in the room.
Light: Argh, the girl makes me want to scream. ‘Captivates?’ Really? You actually use this trite language? In this century? It’s like I stepped in Wuthering Heights, rewritten for small turtles with massive head trauma.
Mello: I think Naoki might actually be a small turtle with massive head trauma.
L: It would explain why everyone likes her.
Mello: …huh?
Light: What?
L: Little turtles are cute! And stupid little turtles are even cuter, the way that walk around in little circles but don’t get anywhere…
Mello: What’s wrong with you?
Light: Sounds like Naoki to me. What’s next?
Mello: This is the bit where, as per regulation 666.666.666 of the Mary-Sue code, we get to see the sad, abusive past of our dear, darling, captivating little turtle. Mother f*cker, its amazing how these sues always follow the same formulas,
Tears began rolling down my cheeks as I heard my cell phone ring again. It was mom again. "HOW DARE YOU HANG UP ON ME YOU WHORE!" She screamed. "You were the one who hung up on me" "YOU ADOPTED LITTLE BITCH!" My heart stopped. 'Adopted?' "W-what do you mean adopted?" "YOU'RE MOMMY NEVER WANTED YOU! SHE KNEW WHAT A SLUT YOU WERE AND LEFT YOU! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I TOOK YOU! IT WAS A MISTAKE THAT I'LL SOON CORRECT!" I hung up the phone and dropped it to the floor. "Adopted...I'm adopted." I placed my hands over my eyes and cried in the corridor. I heard the room's door open but continued to cry. "Naoki what's wrong?" It was Light. He crouched down next to me and put an arm on my shoulder. "Naoki, tell me what's wrong?" "Oh Light. She said I was adopted." I sobbed "Who said you were?" "My mother... she-" I couldn't continue my sentence because I once again began to cry. Light put his arms around me and rested his chin on my head. "It's okay Naoki, its okay." "Light...I can't go home anymore. She'll kill me if I do I know it."
L: I cannot even begin to tell you how angry this made me. Remember just a few chapters ago we had that little scene, not Naoki-centric nor Naoki-worshiping, unrelated to the story and even a little endearing, where we got to see a scene of teasing between a mother and daughter where we could almost-almost-see them as real people who genuinely cared for each other? Nope, that’s all out the window now.
Light: All out the window because the Suethor needed to up the drama and elevate her sue to a martyr, graciously suffering the abuse of a parent, abuse so generic and banal it actually makes you laugh a little.
Mello: Welcome to the Mary-Sue-Niverse. And so, as a few diamond tears of sadness roll down Naoki’s porcelain cheeks, she decides to pack her bags and move in with L. Why does L allow this? Because, drumroll please:
In the few hours of knowing me, she and I had become friends. 'She would do the same for me if I were in this position. I know it'.
L: Bullsh*t.
Mello: L?! I’ve never heard you swear before.
L: Well it is. Its just bullsh*t.
It had been a couple of days since that incident at the hospital and L had agreed to let me live and travel with him, which I was very greatful for.
L: No way, come on, because of a little ‘surprise, you’re adopted’ drama? I’m an orphan who teaches at an orphanage! Doesn’t it occur to her that in such an event I would know how to process her through the proper channels, ensuring that all the legal aspects of her emancipation-if that’s what it came down to-were taken care of?
Mello: You forget, we’re in the Mary-Sue-Niverse now, where the laws of reason and plot are suspended, where character was hanged from the neck until dead, and where flocks of Mary-Sues gambol and play in the skeletal remains of the fandoms they’ve raped to death.
Light: I wish I had a shotgun.
Mello: You’re going to be wishing for way more than a shotgun when you read this bit,
There was no way in the world that I was gonna cry. No way!
I looked away from my friend trying to shake off the feeling of sorrow by looking at the cart of sweets, but before I could do that, Ryuzaki did the most out of character thing, I could ever think of him doing.
He grasped my chin lightly and turned it to face his smiling face. Then, after a moment of staring into each other's eyes, he kissed me.
The kiss lasted for a few minutes before we both parted for air. I blushed madly and laughed as I pulled the great detective into a not to tight hug. He responded by placing his arms around me to, then kissing me again, this time, more deeply.
We could have stayed like that forever but we were interrupted by a gasp from the doorway. We parted and saw Light and the rest of the team standing there, all with a shocked look on their faces. Well, all accept Light, and Matsuda.
"So, you two are going out huh? Well I'm very happy for the both of you."
I nodded and grasped my lovers hand in my own. "Thank you Light, I hope you too, find someone to share your life with." I felt Naoki kiss me on the cheek. I looked over to her and smiled, kissing her on the lips. I noticed Light stand up and exit the room as Naoki pulled me into a deeper kiss.
Lights POV
As I walked out of the room, I fumed. I was furious! How dare he kiss my love! Naoki was mine not L's! 'Damn you L!' I thought as I walked out of the hotel.
When I got to my house, I went to my room and sat on my bed, thinking about Naoki once again. That's when I got an idea. I grabbed my death note from my draw and opened it. I picked up a pen and placed the tip on the paper then stopped.
I didn't, couldn't kill Naoki. I loved her.
Light: Pfft, you don’t know me very well, do you sister? I’d kill my own mother to get ahead and you think you’re special?
L: Yes, she clearly does.
Mello: At least she’s right about one thing. It is pretty out of character for L to kiss anyone. Why she made him do it anyway, I suppose we’ll never know.
Light: So where does that leave us all? Spinning our collective wheels in some pointless love triangle that completely derails our entire universe, making us into drooling morons obsessed with some girl who adds nothing to our universe but the bare fact of her carbon presence?
Mello: Yeah, but at least we got Edward Cullen killed in the last spork.
Light: Well, I guess that’s something. Are we at the end of this, finally?
L: Yeah, it looks like she didn’t finish it.
Light: Thank god for small favors.