Useless Sue, and a Downer Ending Too!
Story Or Series Title: Knives and Pens
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Memento Morri (I assume based on "Memento Mori" the title of a famous Death Note fanfic by another author, that other fanfic is about Light getting raped and then trying to convince L to kill him.)
Full Name (plus titles if any): Heidi de Granville, also uses the aliases Charlotte de Granville and Charlotte Meraux
Full Species(es): Human? She's an Angst Sue, Copycat Sue and Classic Sue all combined.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "sunshine-colored curls pulled back into a neat pony tail" and "stray curls trickling into her face"
Eye Color (include adjectives): Green eyes, and "he saw the circles beginning under her eyes that mirrored his own."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Described as "Blonde, chalky white, dark circles under her eyes: even a sort of unhealthy flush to her cheeks." and "Her face was drawn and pale- he'd seen it before, in himself."
Special Possessions (if any): Eventually, a death note and an OC shinigami to go with it. However this happens fairly late in the fic.
Annoying Origin: Worked with L on another investigation, a personal one: "Her father had been killed by a mysterious murderer that no one had managed to catch. Even L himself hadn't managed it, and they had closed the case on the fact that the killer had disappeared." This contradicts canon's L's reputation as the detective who had never lost a case. This Sue's father is so special that L can't find his murderer.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Worked with L before. Knows Watari. Aiber and Wedy pose as her fake parents. Matsuda poses as her big brother even though Matsuda has met Light before, and Light should see through this instantly. Light doesn't.
Annoying Special Abilities: Having some kind of sleep disorder referred to as "sloth time" that causes insomnia most of the time and extreme sleepiness the rest of the time, and also causes an extremely high-pitched voice when sleepy.
Other Annoying Traits: Angsting. Moe-moe traits like the ability to somehow find the smallest couch in the entire world and then curl up on it like a cat. A sidekick named Keiko with "black hair, but it was streaked with what was probably close to all the colors available to mankind." who becomes her instant friend at To-Oh University. Has a stalker.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: (Do NOT post more than half of a chapter, whole chapters, or whole stories, regardless of how short they are)
The first chapter starts rather uneventfully, but contains the following probably OOC moment from L, as I have trouble imagining him making this conclusion:
Now he was stuck, with no idea about how to move forward. He still knew the same information he knew before; somehow, he couldn't shake the feeling that Light Yagami was Kira, or the fact that he himself might be able to do this case better with the help of Heidi de Granville.
The first chapter also ends with a plea for reviews and a note that this is a re-upload of a fanfic that got very few reviews the first time around.
The second chapter starts with a boast by Heidi about how she doesn't understand Japan and will never bother to try to understand it, but that somehow the knowledge she needs will simply come to her without any work. A Mary Sue trait? A way for the author to excuse poor research? A way to gut the story of anything resembling plot tension? We'll see.
Next we get this non-sensical little exchange that really destroys my faith that the author will end up employing any logic at all, let alone any that is even close to being worthy of the real Death Note series:
She peered through the tinted glass of the car window, curiously, but instead she couldn't see anything. That was strange-usually it was the other way around. With a sigh, she scooted forward in her seat and stuck her head between the driver's seat and the passenger seat, looking at the elderly man driving.
"Watari, why is it that I can't see out the window?" she asked him with a pout on her lips. Watari glanced briefly at her, an amused noise coming from him, along with a mirthful glimmer in his wizened gaze.
"Because, Miss Heidi," he explained, "this is the car that L usually rides in. He doesn't need to be able to see outside, he has everything memorized."
Considering L's obsession with observation, data and surveillance this makes no sense. Considering the logical possibility of memorizing the contents of all streets this makes no sense. Even if L were capable of that feat and also uninterested in his surroundings, things would change. Different people would be on the sidewalks, businesses might close, and maybe even big giant clues would be sitting right there for someone who was interested in seeing outside the car.
Also, how does Watari drive the thing if he can't see out of the windshield?
Watari was an accurate, excellent driver, even in the busiest parts of Japan, and they were soon parked inside the parking garage of the tall, glossy building that belonged to L and his work force. Watari opened the door for her, and she slipped out, bag hung over her shoulder lazily and confidently.
Agghhhh! Listen, you just told me that you can't see out the windows. You shouldn't know where you are until after Watari opens the door, and then it should only look like an underground parking garage.
Then, after a sappy reunion complete with thoughts of love, we find out what has L so stumped:
"Who's investigating him?" she asked, looking at the screen still, and L passed her a stack of papers.
"Data up until now," he explained to her questioning glance, and then replied to her earlier question, "No one. We don't really have anyone on the task force right now that could pass as a college student. Or, at least, not a To-Oh University college student."
She crinkled her nose in clear distaste. "Well, that's your first step right there!" she exclaimed, beginning to skim through the data he had just handed her. "If you're suspicious of this boy, you should investigate him, right? Right," she added, not waiting for him to answer. He'd parted his lips to speak but instead, obediently shut them and let her continue. "We'll find someone to go and investigate this Yagami fellow, someone young enough and smart enough to pass for a To-Oh student. Sound like a plan?"
L sighed, placing the remaining leaves of the strawberry in an extra bowl. "It isn't that simple, Heidi-dono," he replied. "I can't just give someone info on the Kira case and tell them to investigate Yagami-san. I have to have someone on the task force do it."
Wow, L is really stupid in this one. He can't even come to the conclusion that he himself is able to pass for a college student. Even though he thought of it easily in canon. I wonder if all of L's canon deductions will be made by Heidi in this fanfic?
Also, if you are going to use Japanese honorifics, use them properly! Yagami-san is the father, Soichiro Yagami. Yagami-kun is the son, Light Yagami.
Then we get a flashback to the investigation L and Heidi worked together on:
But with Heidi, things had always been easy; it had always been natural and smooth for him to talk to her, and when he'd worked with her, it hadn't been a choice whether he got used to it or not. Back in France, she'd insisted on sharing at least one hug a week-no arguments. And so, he'd had to get used to the unwelcome contact. And for a while, near the end of their investigation, the contact had become welcomed instead.
So, L put up with an investigator who had a schedule of forced hugs? And she just kept forcing them on him until he started liking them?
I can't imagine canon L putting up with that. It would be difficult enough to get him to work with another investigator face-to-face, which he supposedly never did before the Kira case, let alone one who wanted to rape hug him by force.
After that we've got a bunch of narrating that reveals a really screwed-up timeline. The task force members are entering the investigation headquarters skyscraper that L built for the first time, L is very early in his investigation of Light, and Matsuda is posing as Misa's manager. By chapter 5, we also learn this fanfic is set after the capture of Higuchi. How all these can be true at the same time really, really boggles the mind. No explanation is made for it, but I don't think any could be created that would fit. It is a completely broken timeline.
L let out a noise, as if to say, "What? Friend?" When Soichiro just waited, patiently, he yawned.
"Oh! This is Charlotte de Granville," he explained. "She prefers Heidi."
What is the point of bringing in an outsider with an alias if you don't even try to keep their real name a secret? This is the Kira case. In canon you never saw L revealing Watari's real name, or Wedy's real name, or Aiber's real name. This Sue really is here just to make L look stupid, isn't she?
"Your new name is Eri Kurosawa," L began, and that was when Heidi cut in.
"Eri Kurosawa? That's... A Japanese name," she said, blatantly, and L stared at her.
"Well, yes, because we are in Japan, in case you forgot, Heidi-dono," he reminded her, and she snorted, clearly amused by his lack of understanding. Understanding of what, however, he couldn't fathom.
"L, tell me, what do the Japanese look like?" she asked. A nearly irrelevant question to the task at hand, but he didn't bother to ignore it. Heidi sometimes beat around the bush, but she always got the point after proving herself.
"Typically dark hair, dark eyes," he replied uneasily, unsure of himself now. Heidi just smiled pleasantly in his direction.
"And what color are my hair and eyes?"
Oh, so this was what she was getting at.
L sighed. "Blonde and green."
"Right. So repeat to me back what we've discussed just now." That pleasant smile turned into one of complete bemusement.
"Your new name is Eri Kurosawa, which is of Japanese origin. Japanese people tend to have dark hair and dark eyes, while you have blonde hair and green eyes," he repeated, his tone flat with defeat.
"Precisely. Now do you understand why it makes no sense as to why I have a Japanese name?" she asked him, and he sighed, turning back to the screen.
"Yes, Heidi-dono."
"Arigato, L-san."
The task force members snickered behind their folders and files. L cleared his throat loudly.
"There's no need to laugh in unison!"
Yes, Heidi is here to make L look stupid.
Then there is a bunch of college stuff that reads more like a high school AU, including Light being very interested in Heidi, a bunch of nonsensical stuff with an office worker, and then Light shows up with another Sue of his very own (who is physically similar to the main Sue's sidekick Keiko).
Here's a bit of incredibly OOC stuff:
Since the start of their relationship, a piece of Light had always been en guarde around Patricia. He'd been wary of her from the start, but when she found out that he was Kira, threw it in his face, and then had the proof to back it up, he knew he had to keep her close. So he asked her out on a date.
It had proven to be more than a fake relationship, like with Misa. Misa Amane, who was obsessed with him, had only been useful when she had the Shinigami Eyes. Now, with the notebook in his possession, her memories gone, and her Shinigami Eyes useless, unable to see the name and lifespan of a person, she was quickly fading into the background.
But not Patricia. Patricia didn't fade, because he found that his mock affection for her wasn't mock at all, that it was real, and that ruling the world as the God of a new world proved a lot more appealing when he had the Russian by his side.
Canon Light would kill Patricia as soon as possible, especially if she actually knew anything. This Light is obviously someone else. And wouldn't there be at least some attempt to appease Rem after dumping Misa? Where is Rem in all this? Is Misa unhappy? Because if Misa's unhappy, Rem is unhappy, and you don't mess around with a god of death.
Then we have the main Sue acting like a bratty teen at the investigation headquarters and risking Light finding out for sure that she is undercover working for L, culminating in a forced hug:
For a moment, he was startled- to feel her arms around his midsection, cheek resting against his chest, their heart beats polar opposites (hers a slow, steady rhythm and his uneven and rapid,) was something that should have been familiar by now. After all, she often did that to him; giving him a sudden hug, and earlier, when she had first met him in France, she'd made him promise at least one hug a week. He should have been prepared.
The problem was that with Heidi, you couldn't be prepared.
After a few moments, when L's heart beat slowed, she pulled back and silently padded from the room. She left L feeling confused and awkward, standing in the middle of the room like an idiot with no clue as to what had just happened.
After a few moments of dealing with the confusion of the moment, L deduced that girls were, in fact, trouble, and that he should not bother with them any more than he had to.
I think she just did bad touch on L! He's confused, traumatized, and doesn't want anything more to do with it. Go with your instincts, L! Get rid of Heidi. It was a bad touch!
After this, we hear about Crazy Wolfgang, also known as Mr. Belvidere, a stalker of Heidi's who is about to escape from prison. He's the one who killed Heidi's father, and the prison guards know it. How come they know it but L couldn't solve the case?
Anyway, then we learn that he was imprisoned for good measure, you know, just in case he really did it. What country is this in, where you lock up people who weren't convicted, just in case? No idea at that point, but later we learn it is France.
Then, Heidi moves into L's room. Why? It isn't clear. However, a big deal is made about it.
Then, after a lot of preparations to go visit Heidi's stalker in prison, L mysteriously changes his mind and decides to wait for the stalker to escape instead, and then hope the stalker makes his way to the Kira headquarters.
That is exactly what happens. Yes, this stalker escapes from a French prison and goes to Japan, finding L's secret headquarters with no problem.
Watari recognizes him, and lets him in.
Heidi reacts to this stalker with grace and forgiveness.
The stalker acts like a teenage boy in love.
Then we have a reveal that the stalker didn't really kill Heidi's father. Instead, B (a character from the prequel novel) did. Or at least that's what the stalker believes.
Everyone believes him, even though the stalker reveals things that only the killer or an accomplice of the killer should know.
Then we have the following incredibly OOC interaction between Heidi and L:
He studied her face. The dark circles under her eyes were fainter, but a paleness still clung to her face, the color of snow.
He didn't know what to say.
"Heidi, you can't always make it on your own, you know. Sometimes-sometimes, you need to get help from other people, and sometimes they want to help, you know!"
L didn't know why he sounded so angry. Supposedly, neither did Heidi.
"L, I don't know what you're-"
"Yes, you do!" he cut in. "You're refusing to show your feelings! Aren't we friends? Close friends? Was I wrong in making that assumption?"
Emotions welled to the surface like a bubble about to pop. The pressure was tight and painful in his chest; he hadn't felt this in a long time.
"L," Heidi began, her voice forcibly calm but tremors snapping it, "you weren't wrong. We are friends, close friends. But I don't... I don't think..."
Her feelings, memories, were bleeding through the cracks. He could see it on her pale face as her lower lip trembled and tears began to dot her eyelashes. L felt his anger die out, only to be replaced by an aching need to soothe her pain.
He pulled her close and let her tears stain his soul.
Wow, did L just go from merely being a Sue-impaired L to turning into a full-blown stereotypical-romantic-drama comforting-male-figure? Yes, yes he did. Suddenly, L is not just stupid, he's also incredibly concerned about little emotional fits that the Sue throws for no reason.
After this, L decides he is in love. And then the Sue starts getting attracted to Light:
"Really," Light persisted, gently. "Promise me that if you ever feel the need to talk, you'll talk to me."
He was so earnest, sincere, and she so vulnerable with her newfound weaknesses.
"Promise," she replied, dreading the tremor in her voice, and Light's brow furrowed further. He didn't press it further, but instead brought to light another subject.
Wow, any guy that acts like he has feelings and cares, especially if it's in a cheesy dramatic fashion, can get this Sue. Then she tells Light some personal details that it would be dangerous to tell Kira, and we get the following:
Tears dotted her eyelashes. She didn't care if Light was telling the truth or not; but the remembrance, the full feeling the memory pushing out at her, breaking the forefront façade of her mind, was what let the tears loose. They trickled down her cheeks, creating salty paths, staining them a gently flushed red.
Light sat beside her, embraced her. "You can tell me," he soothed her, gently, patting her hair. "It's safe. You can tell me."
And she did.
After that Heidi randomly finds a death note of her very own. She knows Light is going to kill her but does nothing about it but cry. She wants to confess her love to L, but instead she just can't say the words and dies.
She becomes a shinigami and sits in the shinigami realm, watching L and crying tears of dust as she realizes she is in love with L. Yes, tears of dust.
However, she doesn't do anything then to try to save L from Light, and instead she starts the "guilty pleasure" of watching Light and getting turned on by him.
Then she makes a number of bad decisions, including giving a death note to L and killing herself.
The End.
Yes, it is complete.
If you wanted the Sue to die, it happened.
Fandom: Death Note
Culprit Author's Name: Memento Morri (I assume based on "Memento Mori" the title of a famous Death Note fanfic by another author, that other fanfic is about Light getting raped and then trying to convince L to kill him.)
Full Name (plus titles if any): Heidi de Granville, also uses the aliases Charlotte de Granville and Charlotte Meraux
Full Species(es): Human? She's an Angst Sue, Copycat Sue and Classic Sue all combined.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "sunshine-colored curls pulled back into a neat pony tail" and "stray curls trickling into her face"
Eye Color (include adjectives): Green eyes, and "he saw the circles beginning under her eyes that mirrored his own."
Unusual Markings/Colorations: Described as "Blonde, chalky white, dark circles under her eyes: even a sort of unhealthy flush to her cheeks." and "Her face was drawn and pale- he'd seen it before, in himself."
Special Possessions (if any): Eventually, a death note and an OC shinigami to go with it. However this happens fairly late in the fic.
Annoying Origin: Worked with L on another investigation, a personal one: "Her father had been killed by a mysterious murderer that no one had managed to catch. Even L himself hadn't managed it, and they had closed the case on the fact that the killer had disappeared." This contradicts canon's L's reputation as the detective who had never lost a case. This Sue's father is so special that L can't find his murderer.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: Worked with L before. Knows Watari. Aiber and Wedy pose as her fake parents. Matsuda poses as her big brother even though Matsuda has met Light before, and Light should see through this instantly. Light doesn't.
Annoying Special Abilities: Having some kind of sleep disorder referred to as "sloth time" that causes insomnia most of the time and extreme sleepiness the rest of the time, and also causes an extremely high-pitched voice when sleepy.
Other Annoying Traits: Angsting. Moe-moe traits like the ability to somehow find the smallest couch in the entire world and then curl up on it like a cat. A sidekick named Keiko with "black hair, but it was streaked with what was probably close to all the colors available to mankind." who becomes her instant friend at To-Oh University. Has a stalker.
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story: (Do NOT post more than half of a chapter, whole chapters, or whole stories, regardless of how short they are)
The first chapter starts rather uneventfully, but contains the following probably OOC moment from L, as I have trouble imagining him making this conclusion:
Now he was stuck, with no idea about how to move forward. He still knew the same information he knew before; somehow, he couldn't shake the feeling that Light Yagami was Kira, or the fact that he himself might be able to do this case better with the help of Heidi de Granville.
The first chapter also ends with a plea for reviews and a note that this is a re-upload of a fanfic that got very few reviews the first time around.
The second chapter starts with a boast by Heidi about how she doesn't understand Japan and will never bother to try to understand it, but that somehow the knowledge she needs will simply come to her without any work. A Mary Sue trait? A way for the author to excuse poor research? A way to gut the story of anything resembling plot tension? We'll see.
Next we get this non-sensical little exchange that really destroys my faith that the author will end up employing any logic at all, let alone any that is even close to being worthy of the real Death Note series:
She peered through the tinted glass of the car window, curiously, but instead she couldn't see anything. That was strange-usually it was the other way around. With a sigh, she scooted forward in her seat and stuck her head between the driver's seat and the passenger seat, looking at the elderly man driving.
"Watari, why is it that I can't see out the window?" she asked him with a pout on her lips. Watari glanced briefly at her, an amused noise coming from him, along with a mirthful glimmer in his wizened gaze.
"Because, Miss Heidi," he explained, "this is the car that L usually rides in. He doesn't need to be able to see outside, he has everything memorized."
Considering L's obsession with observation, data and surveillance this makes no sense. Considering the logical possibility of memorizing the contents of all streets this makes no sense. Even if L were capable of that feat and also uninterested in his surroundings, things would change. Different people would be on the sidewalks, businesses might close, and maybe even big giant clues would be sitting right there for someone who was interested in seeing outside the car.
Also, how does Watari drive the thing if he can't see out of the windshield?
Watari was an accurate, excellent driver, even in the busiest parts of Japan, and they were soon parked inside the parking garage of the tall, glossy building that belonged to L and his work force. Watari opened the door for her, and she slipped out, bag hung over her shoulder lazily and confidently.
Agghhhh! Listen, you just told me that you can't see out the windows. You shouldn't know where you are until after Watari opens the door, and then it should only look like an underground parking garage.
Then, after a sappy reunion complete with thoughts of love, we find out what has L so stumped:
"Who's investigating him?" she asked, looking at the screen still, and L passed her a stack of papers.
"Data up until now," he explained to her questioning glance, and then replied to her earlier question, "No one. We don't really have anyone on the task force right now that could pass as a college student. Or, at least, not a To-Oh University college student."
She crinkled her nose in clear distaste. "Well, that's your first step right there!" she exclaimed, beginning to skim through the data he had just handed her. "If you're suspicious of this boy, you should investigate him, right? Right," she added, not waiting for him to answer. He'd parted his lips to speak but instead, obediently shut them and let her continue. "We'll find someone to go and investigate this Yagami fellow, someone young enough and smart enough to pass for a To-Oh student. Sound like a plan?"
L sighed, placing the remaining leaves of the strawberry in an extra bowl. "It isn't that simple, Heidi-dono," he replied. "I can't just give someone info on the Kira case and tell them to investigate Yagami-san. I have to have someone on the task force do it."
Wow, L is really stupid in this one. He can't even come to the conclusion that he himself is able to pass for a college student. Even though he thought of it easily in canon. I wonder if all of L's canon deductions will be made by Heidi in this fanfic?
Also, if you are going to use Japanese honorifics, use them properly! Yagami-san is the father, Soichiro Yagami. Yagami-kun is the son, Light Yagami.
Then we get a flashback to the investigation L and Heidi worked together on:
But with Heidi, things had always been easy; it had always been natural and smooth for him to talk to her, and when he'd worked with her, it hadn't been a choice whether he got used to it or not. Back in France, she'd insisted on sharing at least one hug a week-no arguments. And so, he'd had to get used to the unwelcome contact. And for a while, near the end of their investigation, the contact had become welcomed instead.
So, L put up with an investigator who had a schedule of forced hugs? And she just kept forcing them on him until he started liking them?
I can't imagine canon L putting up with that. It would be difficult enough to get him to work with another investigator face-to-face, which he supposedly never did before the Kira case, let alone one who wanted to rape hug him by force.
After that we've got a bunch of narrating that reveals a really screwed-up timeline. The task force members are entering the investigation headquarters skyscraper that L built for the first time, L is very early in his investigation of Light, and Matsuda is posing as Misa's manager. By chapter 5, we also learn this fanfic is set after the capture of Higuchi. How all these can be true at the same time really, really boggles the mind. No explanation is made for it, but I don't think any could be created that would fit. It is a completely broken timeline.
L let out a noise, as if to say, "What? Friend?" When Soichiro just waited, patiently, he yawned.
"Oh! This is Charlotte de Granville," he explained. "She prefers Heidi."
What is the point of bringing in an outsider with an alias if you don't even try to keep their real name a secret? This is the Kira case. In canon you never saw L revealing Watari's real name, or Wedy's real name, or Aiber's real name. This Sue really is here just to make L look stupid, isn't she?
"Your new name is Eri Kurosawa," L began, and that was when Heidi cut in.
"Eri Kurosawa? That's... A Japanese name," she said, blatantly, and L stared at her.
"Well, yes, because we are in Japan, in case you forgot, Heidi-dono," he reminded her, and she snorted, clearly amused by his lack of understanding. Understanding of what, however, he couldn't fathom.
"L, tell me, what do the Japanese look like?" she asked. A nearly irrelevant question to the task at hand, but he didn't bother to ignore it. Heidi sometimes beat around the bush, but she always got the point after proving herself.
"Typically dark hair, dark eyes," he replied uneasily, unsure of himself now. Heidi just smiled pleasantly in his direction.
"And what color are my hair and eyes?"
Oh, so this was what she was getting at.
L sighed. "Blonde and green."
"Right. So repeat to me back what we've discussed just now." That pleasant smile turned into one of complete bemusement.
"Your new name is Eri Kurosawa, which is of Japanese origin. Japanese people tend to have dark hair and dark eyes, while you have blonde hair and green eyes," he repeated, his tone flat with defeat.
"Precisely. Now do you understand why it makes no sense as to why I have a Japanese name?" she asked him, and he sighed, turning back to the screen.
"Yes, Heidi-dono."
"Arigato, L-san."
The task force members snickered behind their folders and files. L cleared his throat loudly.
"There's no need to laugh in unison!"
Yes, Heidi is here to make L look stupid.
Then there is a bunch of college stuff that reads more like a high school AU, including Light being very interested in Heidi, a bunch of nonsensical stuff with an office worker, and then Light shows up with another Sue of his very own (who is physically similar to the main Sue's sidekick Keiko).
Here's a bit of incredibly OOC stuff:
Since the start of their relationship, a piece of Light had always been en guarde around Patricia. He'd been wary of her from the start, but when she found out that he was Kira, threw it in his face, and then had the proof to back it up, he knew he had to keep her close. So he asked her out on a date.
It had proven to be more than a fake relationship, like with Misa. Misa Amane, who was obsessed with him, had only been useful when she had the Shinigami Eyes. Now, with the notebook in his possession, her memories gone, and her Shinigami Eyes useless, unable to see the name and lifespan of a person, she was quickly fading into the background.
But not Patricia. Patricia didn't fade, because he found that his mock affection for her wasn't mock at all, that it was real, and that ruling the world as the God of a new world proved a lot more appealing when he had the Russian by his side.
Canon Light would kill Patricia as soon as possible, especially if she actually knew anything. This Light is obviously someone else. And wouldn't there be at least some attempt to appease Rem after dumping Misa? Where is Rem in all this? Is Misa unhappy? Because if Misa's unhappy, Rem is unhappy, and you don't mess around with a god of death.
Then we have the main Sue acting like a bratty teen at the investigation headquarters and risking Light finding out for sure that she is undercover working for L, culminating in a forced hug:
For a moment, he was startled- to feel her arms around his midsection, cheek resting against his chest, their heart beats polar opposites (hers a slow, steady rhythm and his uneven and rapid,) was something that should have been familiar by now. After all, she often did that to him; giving him a sudden hug, and earlier, when she had first met him in France, she'd made him promise at least one hug a week. He should have been prepared.
The problem was that with Heidi, you couldn't be prepared.
After a few moments, when L's heart beat slowed, she pulled back and silently padded from the room. She left L feeling confused and awkward, standing in the middle of the room like an idiot with no clue as to what had just happened.
After a few moments of dealing with the confusion of the moment, L deduced that girls were, in fact, trouble, and that he should not bother with them any more than he had to.
I think she just did bad touch on L! He's confused, traumatized, and doesn't want anything more to do with it. Go with your instincts, L! Get rid of Heidi. It was a bad touch!
After this, we hear about Crazy Wolfgang, also known as Mr. Belvidere, a stalker of Heidi's who is about to escape from prison. He's the one who killed Heidi's father, and the prison guards know it. How come they know it but L couldn't solve the case?
Anyway, then we learn that he was imprisoned for good measure, you know, just in case he really did it. What country is this in, where you lock up people who weren't convicted, just in case? No idea at that point, but later we learn it is France.
Then, Heidi moves into L's room. Why? It isn't clear. However, a big deal is made about it.
Then, after a lot of preparations to go visit Heidi's stalker in prison, L mysteriously changes his mind and decides to wait for the stalker to escape instead, and then hope the stalker makes his way to the Kira headquarters.
That is exactly what happens. Yes, this stalker escapes from a French prison and goes to Japan, finding L's secret headquarters with no problem.
Watari recognizes him, and lets him in.
Heidi reacts to this stalker with grace and forgiveness.
The stalker acts like a teenage boy in love.
Then we have a reveal that the stalker didn't really kill Heidi's father. Instead, B (a character from the prequel novel) did. Or at least that's what the stalker believes.
Everyone believes him, even though the stalker reveals things that only the killer or an accomplice of the killer should know.
Then we have the following incredibly OOC interaction between Heidi and L:
He studied her face. The dark circles under her eyes were fainter, but a paleness still clung to her face, the color of snow.
He didn't know what to say.
"Heidi, you can't always make it on your own, you know. Sometimes-sometimes, you need to get help from other people, and sometimes they want to help, you know!"
L didn't know why he sounded so angry. Supposedly, neither did Heidi.
"L, I don't know what you're-"
"Yes, you do!" he cut in. "You're refusing to show your feelings! Aren't we friends? Close friends? Was I wrong in making that assumption?"
Emotions welled to the surface like a bubble about to pop. The pressure was tight and painful in his chest; he hadn't felt this in a long time.
"L," Heidi began, her voice forcibly calm but tremors snapping it, "you weren't wrong. We are friends, close friends. But I don't... I don't think..."
Her feelings, memories, were bleeding through the cracks. He could see it on her pale face as her lower lip trembled and tears began to dot her eyelashes. L felt his anger die out, only to be replaced by an aching need to soothe her pain.
He pulled her close and let her tears stain his soul.
Wow, did L just go from merely being a Sue-impaired L to turning into a full-blown stereotypical-romantic-drama comforting-male-figure? Yes, yes he did. Suddenly, L is not just stupid, he's also incredibly concerned about little emotional fits that the Sue throws for no reason.
After this, L decides he is in love. And then the Sue starts getting attracted to Light:
"Really," Light persisted, gently. "Promise me that if you ever feel the need to talk, you'll talk to me."
He was so earnest, sincere, and she so vulnerable with her newfound weaknesses.
"Promise," she replied, dreading the tremor in her voice, and Light's brow furrowed further. He didn't press it further, but instead brought to light another subject.
Wow, any guy that acts like he has feelings and cares, especially if it's in a cheesy dramatic fashion, can get this Sue. Then she tells Light some personal details that it would be dangerous to tell Kira, and we get the following:
Tears dotted her eyelashes. She didn't care if Light was telling the truth or not; but the remembrance, the full feeling the memory pushing out at her, breaking the forefront façade of her mind, was what let the tears loose. They trickled down her cheeks, creating salty paths, staining them a gently flushed red.
Light sat beside her, embraced her. "You can tell me," he soothed her, gently, patting her hair. "It's safe. You can tell me."
And she did.
After that Heidi randomly finds a death note of her very own. She knows Light is going to kill her but does nothing about it but cry. She wants to confess her love to L, but instead she just can't say the words and dies.
She becomes a shinigami and sits in the shinigami realm, watching L and crying tears of dust as she realizes she is in love with L. Yes, tears of dust.
However, she doesn't do anything then to try to save L from Light, and instead she starts the "guilty pleasure" of watching Light and getting turned on by him.
Then she makes a number of bad decisions, including giving a death note to L and killing herself.
The End.
Yes, it is complete.
If you wanted the Sue to die, it happened.