Da'a: Dramatic Dying Discworld Diva
Yep, went back to the Pit for another Discworld fic. Actually, this one is so stupid it's funny.
Story or Series Title: Lifetimers
Fandom: Discworld, of course (Night Watch subseries).
Culprit Author's Name: The Writer (has she got a lot to learn).
Full Name: Da'a Vimes.
See what I mean? I can't think of any character in Pratchett's books that would have a name like this, save possibly a dwarf- and all of them seem to get along fine without apostrophes in their names, just their language. It's even better given her supposed parents.
Full Species(es): Mary Sue, subspecies Puella objectivequestis. Called human.
Hair Colour: Not mentioned.
Eye Colour: Ditto.
Unusual Markings/Colourations: Tritto.
Special Possessions: Concern from two canonical characters (see below).
Annoying Origin: Author's seriously messed-up brain.
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Daughter of Vimes and Sybil. 17 years old. She dies, but Death says THIS MUST NOT BE SO, and tries to give Vimes the means to fix it.
*snort* This is Death? Who has a keen sense of WHAT MUST BE SO and goes out of his way not to act directly on not making it so? Right.
Incidentally, I wonder if people writing Discworld Sues have this inherent sense that what they're doing is wrong, wrong, wrong. Both this one and the other one I reported on are dead in at least part of the story.
Annoying Special Abilities: "And her voice always gave Sam much joy, it was as perfect as a singing voice could get, without being operatic." Helpless laughter from me. Apparently she leaves her door open a crack and sings to Vimes at night.
Is anyone else picking up a weird incestous vibe?
Other Annoying Traits: Wants to join the Watch.
Please include a small sample of the worst part of the story:
Oh, this is precious. I have never seen so much elipsis abuse in my life.
He had been happy.... well, content- he was fine with being, simply, Sam.... Sybil was happy with it too... but every time that damn Patrician called him in at the end of a particularly physically exhausting mission, he had a new title...he lost count of them all, especially after Duke, and al that business in Klatch (author's note- haven't read Jingo in a while, I forget if it was Klatch or somewhere else)...
I wonder what purpose 'The Writer' thinks the elipsis is supposed to serve. And the author's note adds the final touch of inanity.
Da'a had just gone to bed. Or at least, she went to her room... there was a strange tradition between the father and daughter, he'd give ample time to know he was home, staying outside to smoke one more, leaning on the door. Then she'd go upstairs and leave the door open a crack, and then she'd start to sing... And her voice always gave Sam much joy, it was as perfect as a singing voice could get, without being operatic- a style Vimes could do without. And then he'd begin his ascent upstairs, much as he was doing now, and go to the door, that was open a crack, and watch his daughter sing. But the singing fell short, and something went 'thump' on the floor... he stopped in his steps, and thought quickly as he looked around- there was no assassin, he had made sure, and he was certain to have taught his daughter to do al checks every night before bed so that none would get her... He rushed to the room, and saw the scene...
This is probably supposed to be dramatic and make us feel sorry for the Sue. Between helpless snorts of laughter and the weird incest vibe, I think it's anything but.
BEFORE YOU SPEAK- SHE IS DEAD. Death said holding up an empty lifetimer. BUT THIS MUST NOT BE SO. SOMEONE HAS BEEN TAMPERING WITH FORCES BEYOND MY CONTROL... THIS MUST BE FIXED. He said holding out an ancient lifetimer, the sand stopped in the top... USE THIS WISELY- WHEN IT RUNS OUT YOUR CHANCE TO SAVE HER IS OVER.
Not even Death escapes the elipsis! And apparently, someone has been "tampering with forces" even the anthropomorphic personification who just happens to be the Death of the Discworld can't control. All for the Sue!
I think Discworld Sues are a fascinating subspecies all their own. In fact, that whole Discworld section looks interesting in a horrifying kind of way. I can see what look like well-written fics in there, and then are the horrible-sounding parodies, and then there is RINCEWIND SLASH. I'm sure any pairing has its writer and its fans, but I am not even looking at that one.
Story or Series Title: Lifetimers
Fandom: Discworld, of course (Night Watch subseries).
Culprit Author's Name: The Writer (has she got a lot to learn).
Full Name: Da'a Vimes.
See what I mean? I can't think of any character in Pratchett's books that would have a name like this, save possibly a dwarf- and all of them seem to get along fine without apostrophes in their names, just their language. It's even better given her supposed parents.
Full Species(es): Mary Sue, subspecies Puella objectivequestis. Called human.
Hair Colour: Not mentioned.
Eye Colour: Ditto.
Unusual Markings/Colourations: Tritto.
Special Possessions: Concern from two canonical characters (see below).
Annoying Origin: Author's seriously messed-up brain.
Annoying Connections to Canon Characters: Daughter of Vimes and Sybil. 17 years old. She dies, but Death says THIS MUST NOT BE SO, and tries to give Vimes the means to fix it.
*snort* This is Death? Who has a keen sense of WHAT MUST BE SO and goes out of his way not to act directly on not making it so? Right.
Incidentally, I wonder if people writing Discworld Sues have this inherent sense that what they're doing is wrong, wrong, wrong. Both this one and the other one I reported on are dead in at least part of the story.
Annoying Special Abilities: "And her voice always gave Sam much joy, it was as perfect as a singing voice could get, without being operatic." Helpless laughter from me. Apparently she leaves her door open a crack and sings to Vimes at night.
Is anyone else picking up a weird incestous vibe?
Other Annoying Traits: Wants to join the Watch.
Please include a small sample of the worst part of the story:
Oh, this is precious. I have never seen so much elipsis abuse in my life.
He had been happy.... well, content- he was fine with being, simply, Sam.... Sybil was happy with it too... but every time that damn Patrician called him in at the end of a particularly physically exhausting mission, he had a new title...he lost count of them all, especially after Duke, and al that business in Klatch (author's note- haven't read Jingo in a while, I forget if it was Klatch or somewhere else)...
I wonder what purpose 'The Writer' thinks the elipsis is supposed to serve. And the author's note adds the final touch of inanity.
Da'a had just gone to bed. Or at least, she went to her room... there was a strange tradition between the father and daughter, he'd give ample time to know he was home, staying outside to smoke one more, leaning on the door. Then she'd go upstairs and leave the door open a crack, and then she'd start to sing... And her voice always gave Sam much joy, it was as perfect as a singing voice could get, without being operatic- a style Vimes could do without. And then he'd begin his ascent upstairs, much as he was doing now, and go to the door, that was open a crack, and watch his daughter sing. But the singing fell short, and something went 'thump' on the floor... he stopped in his steps, and thought quickly as he looked around- there was no assassin, he had made sure, and he was certain to have taught his daughter to do al checks every night before bed so that none would get her... He rushed to the room, and saw the scene...
This is probably supposed to be dramatic and make us feel sorry for the Sue. Between helpless snorts of laughter and the weird incest vibe, I think it's anything but.
BEFORE YOU SPEAK- SHE IS DEAD. Death said holding up an empty lifetimer. BUT THIS MUST NOT BE SO. SOMEONE HAS BEEN TAMPERING WITH FORCES BEYOND MY CONTROL... THIS MUST BE FIXED. He said holding out an ancient lifetimer, the sand stopped in the top... USE THIS WISELY- WHEN IT RUNS OUT YOUR CHANCE TO SAVE HER IS OVER.
Not even Death escapes the elipsis! And apparently, someone has been "tampering with forces" even the anthropomorphic personification who just happens to be the Death of the Discworld can't control. All for the Sue!
I think Discworld Sues are a fascinating subspecies all their own. In fact, that whole Discworld section looks interesting in a horrifying kind of way. I can see what look like well-written fics in there, and then are the horrible-sounding parodies, and then there is RINCEWIND SLASH. I'm sure any pairing has its writer and its fans, but I am not even looking at that one.