*huggles Rabbi-chan for security blanket* Big Brother *missed* this one...
Based on the post yesterday, with all the really strange fandoms, I went and read the 1984 fic. I regret it. It burns. It burns BAD. So I thought I'd share it with y'all since the original poster didn't want to write all of those up. ^_^V
Story Or Series Title: Romeo and Juliet with Common Sense
Fandom: 1984. Nineteen freaking eighty-four!
Culprit Author's Name: Gothic Valley Girl
Full Name (plus titles if any): Ruby Parsons
Full Species(es): Hollow husk of a human being. But a hollow husk with *feelings*!
Hair Color (include adjectives): It doesn't say. I couldn't find it in the original novel, either.
Eye Color (include adjectives): I'll be fucked if it's not the same as 'Hair Color'!
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None. Only Thought Criminals have unusual markings. Dammit.
Special Possessions (if any): Extra clothing rations that she got from turning her father over to the Thought Police.
Annoying Origin: 'Ruby' is just the name that the author decided to give to Winston Smith's neighbor Parsons' youngest kid. Yes, the very same kid that turns her own father in for talking in his sleep in the end of the book. After her father was sentenced to twenty years *oh, come ON now! He even *thanked* the Thought Police for taking him away!* in a labour camp for sleep talking, her mother killed herself. So now she and her brother, Brandon, live alone.
And Winston Smith is *still* in their apartment complex. Seven years later. Haven't they vaporized that twit yet?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: I guess technically, she *is* a canon character. An obnoxious, snot nosed, bratty canon character, but a canon character at that.
Annoying Special Abilities: Apparently the ability to act like Serena/Usagi from Sailor Moon and not get sent to the Ministry of Love.
Other Annoying Traits: Complete and total disregard for the world in which 1984 is based. I mean, she makes some of the characters utter assholes *I swear her teacher reminds me of Snape!*, but some are nice and tell her ways to ditch her responsibilities. The nurse that she goes to see is nice to her! The prole she runs into on the street starts telling her that he's no different from her - since when do they *care*? Apparently, this Mary Sue has a split personality, too. On the one hand, she looks up to her big brother *no, not that one!* with all her heart and soul! She wants to be just like him, because he loves Big Brother, and he turned all these people in their complex in *somehow missing Smith? Whatta idiot* and got a medal for it! But he'd *never* turn her in! Even though they turned their own father in... And on the other hand, she hates Big Brother, because he *made* her turn her own father in and made her mother commit suicide and makes life suck in general. Right.
Thoughtcrime much? I shouldn't even have to point out that such thoughts as those are an impossibility for someone raised like that girl was, right? She shouldn't even be able to form those thoughts coherently, EVER, due to the restrictive use of Newspeak in their world.
Where are the frickin' Thought Police when you *need* them? *grouse*
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
In which Mary Sue needs a Geography lesson....
“Where is Navalport 6?” Ruby asked her older brother.
“West coast of North America.”
“Oh, right.” Ruby muttered. Just last week it had been California, hadn’t it? She thought. She made she her expression hadn’t changed. Brandon was keen to see changes. He had condemned three residents of the apartment, and received a medal for it. She knew her brother would never condemn her. They were the only thing they each had left. Their father had to serve another 20 years in a labor camp, and their mother committed suicide after their father’s hearing. Ruby broke away from her position beside her brother. Thinking about the past always gave her a headache, as if her body was warning her not to remember. Her brother turned his head to watch her. Ruby laid on the couch and place her arm over her eyes to block out any light left.
It's not been 'California' for a very long time, twit. North America is part of Oceania, and what the hell would the Eurasian forces be doing on the west coast in the first place?! Wouldn't they be attacking, I dunno, your EASTERN front?! Considering it's a federation of Russia and the rest of Europe!
Mary Sue hates proles because they don't love Big Brother enough, and she meets her future prole twue wub...
The fastest route to school would be through the prole side of the neighborhood. If Ruby hadn’t been absorbed in the announcement, she wouldn’t have to worry about going through those streets. She hated proles. She considered herself above them. They were dirty, and didn’t love Big Brother. She remembered when she was little, she and Brandon lit a woman’s skirt on fire for defiling a Big Brother poster. Stupid woman, she thought to herself. Ruby quickened her pace. She would have to go through the prole village. She didn’t even want to consider what her teacher would do if she was late. A few weeks ago another boy in her class was late. He missed the Two-Minutes Hate and was punished by having to stand in front of the class for the whole day with two buckets of water in each hand. He dropped one of the buckets in the middle of a lesson, and earned himself a bucket of sand to balance on his head. She dodged people of all sorts on the street. She narrowly missed getting hit in the face with a fish. Ruby turned off the busy street and into an alley which opened to the street the Ministry of Truth, the Spies Headquarters, and her school resided.
“Watch out!” A guy yelled from the street. Ruby ran out of the alley and straight into a boy her age on a bike. Ruby layed stunned on the ground for a bit. The wind was knocked out of her, and she could feel her ankle beginning to swell. The shin on her leg burned. The tire of the bike must have given her a rug burn.
“You alright?” The teenager asked. He had dark curly hair that hung in his eyes. Ruby glared at the boy and forced herself up.
“Yes. I’m fine. Watch where you are going next time prole.” Ruby sneered.
“Well, doesn’t someone have their knickers in a twist? If I’m not mistaken you are the one that came out of the alley not looking where they was going.” The boy had a thick Irish accent.
“Bite me!” Ruby yelled at him.
“Where and how hard?” The boy said sarcastically. Ruby screamed in frustration. The boy bent over and picked his bike up.
“You are a disgusting pervert.” Ruby snapped and turned away from him. She folded her arms.
“Why thank you.” The boy sat back down on his and leaned over the handlebars. “Did you know you was bleeding?” Ruby looked down at her leg. There was a long cut down it.
“Well, aren’t you observant? I have to get to school. I’ll go see the nurse later.” Ruby gave him a final glance and walked across the street toward her school.
Geez, where are the Thought Police when idiots like this are screaming at each other!? How did this ditz even make it into the Party?!
And just to totally confuse you, Mary Sue now hates Big Brother!
While walking through the hallways, Ruby took in all the Big Brother posters. That familiar mustached face was on every locker. Ruby’s hate toward the boy that ran over her changed to hating the man on the poster. She stood facing it. Taking in every curve and feature on his face. The spies taught her to memorize the face of her enemy. She grew up knowing that face. That face made her turn her father into the Thought Police. That face made her mother kill herself. That face took her best friend and his family to a labor camp. She hated that face.
I could go on ad nauseum, but why bother?
Well, I'm off to gouge my eye out now. Big Brother has definitely failed us here.
Story Or Series Title: Romeo and Juliet with Common Sense
Fandom: 1984. Nineteen freaking eighty-four!
Culprit Author's Name: Gothic Valley Girl
Full Name (plus titles if any): Ruby Parsons
Full Species(es): Hollow husk of a human being. But a hollow husk with *feelings*!
Hair Color (include adjectives): It doesn't say. I couldn't find it in the original novel, either.
Eye Color (include adjectives): I'll be fucked if it's not the same as 'Hair Color'!
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None. Only Thought Criminals have unusual markings. Dammit.
Special Possessions (if any): Extra clothing rations that she got from turning her father over to the Thought Police.
Annoying Origin: 'Ruby' is just the name that the author decided to give to Winston Smith's neighbor Parsons' youngest kid. Yes, the very same kid that turns her own father in for talking in his sleep in the end of the book. After her father was sentenced to twenty years *oh, come ON now! He even *thanked* the Thought Police for taking him away!* in a labour camp for sleep talking, her mother killed herself. So now she and her brother, Brandon, live alone.
And Winston Smith is *still* in their apartment complex. Seven years later. Haven't they vaporized that twit yet?
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: I guess technically, she *is* a canon character. An obnoxious, snot nosed, bratty canon character, but a canon character at that.
Annoying Special Abilities: Apparently the ability to act like Serena/Usagi from Sailor Moon and not get sent to the Ministry of Love.
Other Annoying Traits: Complete and total disregard for the world in which 1984 is based. I mean, she makes some of the characters utter assholes *I swear her teacher reminds me of Snape!*, but some are nice and tell her ways to ditch her responsibilities. The nurse that she goes to see is nice to her! The prole she runs into on the street starts telling her that he's no different from her - since when do they *care*? Apparently, this Mary Sue has a split personality, too. On the one hand, she looks up to her big brother *no, not that one!* with all her heart and soul! She wants to be just like him, because he loves Big Brother, and he turned all these people in their complex in *somehow missing Smith? Whatta idiot* and got a medal for it! But he'd *never* turn her in! Even though they turned their own father in... And on the other hand, she hates Big Brother, because he *made* her turn her own father in and made her mother commit suicide and makes life suck in general. Right.
Thoughtcrime much? I shouldn't even have to point out that such thoughts as those are an impossibility for someone raised like that girl was, right? She shouldn't even be able to form those thoughts coherently, EVER, due to the restrictive use of Newspeak in their world.
Where are the frickin' Thought Police when you *need* them? *grouse*
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
In which Mary Sue needs a Geography lesson....
“Where is Navalport 6?” Ruby asked her older brother.
“West coast of North America.”
“Oh, right.” Ruby muttered. Just last week it had been California, hadn’t it? She thought. She made she her expression hadn’t changed. Brandon was keen to see changes. He had condemned three residents of the apartment, and received a medal for it. She knew her brother would never condemn her. They were the only thing they each had left. Their father had to serve another 20 years in a labor camp, and their mother committed suicide after their father’s hearing. Ruby broke away from her position beside her brother. Thinking about the past always gave her a headache, as if her body was warning her not to remember. Her brother turned his head to watch her. Ruby laid on the couch and place her arm over her eyes to block out any light left.
It's not been 'California' for a very long time, twit. North America is part of Oceania, and what the hell would the Eurasian forces be doing on the west coast in the first place?! Wouldn't they be attacking, I dunno, your EASTERN front?! Considering it's a federation of Russia and the rest of Europe!
Mary Sue hates proles because they don't love Big Brother enough, and she meets her future prole twue wub...
The fastest route to school would be through the prole side of the neighborhood. If Ruby hadn’t been absorbed in the announcement, she wouldn’t have to worry about going through those streets. She hated proles. She considered herself above them. They were dirty, and didn’t love Big Brother. She remembered when she was little, she and Brandon lit a woman’s skirt on fire for defiling a Big Brother poster. Stupid woman, she thought to herself. Ruby quickened her pace. She would have to go through the prole village. She didn’t even want to consider what her teacher would do if she was late. A few weeks ago another boy in her class was late. He missed the Two-Minutes Hate and was punished by having to stand in front of the class for the whole day with two buckets of water in each hand. He dropped one of the buckets in the middle of a lesson, and earned himself a bucket of sand to balance on his head. She dodged people of all sorts on the street. She narrowly missed getting hit in the face with a fish. Ruby turned off the busy street and into an alley which opened to the street the Ministry of Truth, the Spies Headquarters, and her school resided.
“Watch out!” A guy yelled from the street. Ruby ran out of the alley and straight into a boy her age on a bike. Ruby layed stunned on the ground for a bit. The wind was knocked out of her, and she could feel her ankle beginning to swell. The shin on her leg burned. The tire of the bike must have given her a rug burn.
“You alright?” The teenager asked. He had dark curly hair that hung in his eyes. Ruby glared at the boy and forced herself up.
“Yes. I’m fine. Watch where you are going next time prole.” Ruby sneered.
“Well, doesn’t someone have their knickers in a twist? If I’m not mistaken you are the one that came out of the alley not looking where they was going.” The boy had a thick Irish accent.
“Bite me!” Ruby yelled at him.
“Where and how hard?” The boy said sarcastically. Ruby screamed in frustration. The boy bent over and picked his bike up.
“You are a disgusting pervert.” Ruby snapped and turned away from him. She folded her arms.
“Why thank you.” The boy sat back down on his and leaned over the handlebars. “Did you know you was bleeding?” Ruby looked down at her leg. There was a long cut down it.
“Well, aren’t you observant? I have to get to school. I’ll go see the nurse later.” Ruby gave him a final glance and walked across the street toward her school.
Geez, where are the Thought Police when idiots like this are screaming at each other!? How did this ditz even make it into the Party?!
And just to totally confuse you, Mary Sue now hates Big Brother!
While walking through the hallways, Ruby took in all the Big Brother posters. That familiar mustached face was on every locker. Ruby’s hate toward the boy that ran over her changed to hating the man on the poster. She stood facing it. Taking in every curve and feature on his face. The spies taught her to memorize the face of her enemy. She grew up knowing that face. That face made her turn her father into the Thought Police. That face made her mother kill herself. That face took her best friend and his family to a labor camp. She hated that face.
I could go on ad nauseum, but why bother?
Well, I'm off to gouge my eye out now. Big Brother has definitely failed us here.