... *brain turns to mush*
The Beyblade fandom makes me cry. So much.
Story Or Series Title: Pretty Crimson Eyes
Fandom: omgkaiandreiaretehsexx0rz!111 Beyblade
Culprit Author's Name: Storms-winter I checked her profile, and she says one of her favourite bands is "Hoostbask". Personally, I can't imagine she could like them that much, as she can't get their name even close to right. *snerk*
Full Name (plus titles if any): Adrienne Fwujuii... I think it's supposed to be Fuji, but she's too retarded to a) know how to spell it and b) realize that it's a JAPANESE surname, and not Russian. *headdesk*
Full Species(es): OHEMGEE!Russian!Sue with an incomprehensible fangirl Japanese last name for some reason. Oh, she's also part "neko-jin". GRAGH WHAT THE FUCK.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "She had long shining midnight-ebony hair braided loosely down her back with bangs sweeping gently into her face."
Eye Color (include adjectives): "almond like eyes that gave her a fey like appearance, fierce crimson eyes and stubbornly set face belied the innocent fragility that seemed apart of her." I love how she describes the eyes not once, but twice. They're just that speshul. Oh, there's also this line: "
Crimson fire narrowed." Because now apparently she just has big gaping sockets that are filled with fire. Crimson fire.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None that I noted.
Special Possessions (if any): Her omgsospeshul! clothes. "She wore a baggy blood red hoodie and loose black cargo pants, which had a imprinted picture of what looked like a red and golden dragon on the bottom of one leg, black fingerless gloves were adorned on her small hands." Also, a super-powerful Beyblade, with a Holy Beast that has a completely unpronounceable name. And a kitty cat. And a recorder.
Annoying Origin: The Chicks With Angsty Pasts Factory Russia. Russia. As in, you know, not Japan.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She runs into Kai in the first chapter. And gushes about how chiseled and manly he is. And she's Jonny's distant cousin. And Mao's old friend. WHY?!
Annoying Special Abilities: Her super intelligence, ability to speak in millions of different languages (including Gaelic! :O OMG), mad recorder-playing skillz, super strength, angsty past and general badassness. I... there are no words.
Other Annoying Traits: Speaks in fangirl Japanese, despite being, you know, Russian!!
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
Lemme say right now this is one of the most awful stories I have ever reported. And that's saying something. BLUGH.
"Their names are Kai Hiwatari and Rei Kon." The other supplied. The girl frowned slightly no sign of recognition on her face, she was a stranger to Rei, though for some reason she looked vaguely familiar... she was petite with a delicate looking frame. But her straight stance, almond like eyes that gave her a fey like appearance, fierce crimson eyes and stubbornly set face belied the innocent fragility that seemed apart of her. She had long shining midnight-ebony hair braided loosely down her back with bangs sweeping gently into her face.
Her burning gaze ran over the two girls quickly and sharply as she gave a light shrug. "Dunno." She answered in a low slightly accented voice. "I've no idea who you're talking about."
That surprised them all. "Don't you know who they are?!" One fan girl asked looking at her in astonishment. "How could you NOT know about them?"
"If I did, I would have said so."
"Kami..." One of the girls stared at her hard. "Where have you been? Locked up in a closet?"
Crimson fire narrowed. "I don't believe that's you business. Now are you done?"
Blah blah, boring description. Yes, yes, her eyes are like fire, we get it.
And I love how she says "I don't believe that's you business" (ignoring the grammar mistake) as an answer. I mean, jeeze, Random Fangirl-Japanese Speaking Moron #1, what business is it of yours asking if she's been locked in a closet? That's like, personal.
*gigglesnort*
Rei glanced at Kai. "That... was interesting."
"Hm." Was the quiet response.
"Something wrong?" Rei asked curiously. Kai frowned. "Her accent. It was Russian." He muttered. Rei shrugged. He'd noticed, but was still trying to figure out where he'd seen her before.
Oh em gee, her accent is Russian! Surely she's special because of that, what with the hundreds of millions of people that live in Russia.
If there was something that truly annoyed Adrienne, it was being late for something and following wrong directions. "Baka woman." She muttered under her breath. "Obviously you never leave the office." Scowling at her timetable she crumpled it and shoved it into her pocket before wandering through the halls of the school trying to find her Chemistry lab. Irritation was etched into her small face and causing her to set her full pick mouth into a straight line and her jaw to take on a stubborn stance.
I can't even pick out all the things wrong with this paragraph. Irritation being etched into one's face sounds right painful, and I don't even know what the fuck a "full pick mouth" is. Sounds like the title of some obscure anime.
Looking up the petite girl flashed a grin, which quickly turned into horror before a pink blur ran at her and knocked her to the ground.
"Mariah! GET OFF!!"
Laughing sheepishly the pink haired neko-jin did so. Rubbing her head Adrienne shot Mariah a peeved look rising, only to be caught into a bear hug. Finally Mariah let go and Adrienne sucked in air and narrowed her gaze. "Mari do you have to try and kill me?" She asked exasperated.
Grinning Mariah's amber gaze shone. "Sorry, but I'm so happy to see you! It's been forever!"
"Four months." Adrienne corrected with a pained look.
She knows Mao too. WTFFFFF. ... Guh, well, at least it's not bashing her.
Adrienne stared up at the boy and her eyes narrowed. Tall, two tone hair, a mess of slate at the front and longish dark blue at the back. Pale skin, deep neutral and emotionless mahogany eyes, stoic expression, four blue shark fins... firm, chiselled body and undeniable maleness... his attire was black and blue, black muscle shirt outlining his broad chest, black cargo pants held up with a belt, royal blue vest overtop with an emblazoned red phoenix. Black fingerless gloves like her own... and of course that stand out snow-white scarf around his neck.
Yes, thank you, honey, we already KNOW what Kai looks like. Although I was under the impression his muscle shirt covered his "broad chest" instead of just outlining it.
And... undeniable maleness. UNDENIABLE MALENESS. OHMYGODWTF. *collapses in a fit of hysteria*
Adrienne let the ball fly and watched as it went through the basket with a swish and turned to regard a tall huge blonde standing behind her. Lifting a brow she asked mildly. "Could you think of anything more original?" He frowned as a burly boy with lilac hair narrowed his gaze on her. Hannah watched silently and her gaze travelled a bit further to see a tall lean red head standing beside Kai watching vaguely bored.
The blonde asked harshly. "Do you know who I am?" (bitch, this is mah house!)
"Not a clue." Adrienne lied knowing full well that his name was Spencer and his companion was Bryan. Two members of the Russian team called the Demolition Boys. Her fiery gaze swept to where the captain, Tala Valkov stood leaning against the wall, his ice blue gaze pinned on her.
GRRR. Giving Yuri the last name "Valkov" is one of my pet peeves as far as this fandom goes. And it seems like every bloody goddam Suethor does it! First off, his surname is IVANOV, NOT Valkov. Secondly, I don't think BALKOV would much appreciate Yuri stealing his name.
"He does have that affect on people." Rei mused smiling. Adrienne decided that she liked Rei and studied him. (Yes, yes, I like you. *whips out clipboard, jots down notes*) He was also pretty tall and had a nice lean and built body. His wild black hair was held up by his red yin-yang bandana and a long tiger tail wrap fell down his back. His cat like characteristic stood out, warm deep golden eyes, his hinting fangs as he spoke and a nice deep tanned complexion. He had on his gym strip now, but if memory served her well-which it did-he wore a Chinese outfit, with a long white tunic like shirt with a decorated white tiger on the back, a red sash tied around his waist and black pants. He'd also worn black fingerless gloves, which had the yin-yang symbol on each.
Again, we bloody well know what Rei looks like. And what the hell is a gym strip?
Studying her hard he looked over her tomboyish attire and paused when he saw the decorated red and gold dragon on her pant leg. "A dragon." He glanced up. "Do you beyblade?"
Adrienne nodded slowly and he grinned giving a challenging look. "Wanna battle?"
"No thanks." She declined lazily.
"Whaa?" He stared shocked, then recovered and demanded. "Why?" Adrienne covered a yawn. "It would be a waste of time." She replied vaguely. Tyson scowled and folded his arms. "Yeah right. You just don't want to lose."
Smiling slightly Adrienne brushed falling bangs from her face. "I know for a fact I wouldn't lose. I never have before."
First: oh em gee, she is teh supar beyblador LOLOL!! Second: I wasn't aware that if someone had dragons on their clothes it automatically meant they were a Beyblader.
"Go Dragoon!" Tyson yelled. Adrienne launched hard mutely and ordered a silent attack to her faithful bitbeast. Her blade glowed and crashed into the opposing grey blade and with such a powerful blow it was sent flying out of the dish before anyone could register what had happened.
Catching her returning blade Adrienne watched as Tyson's blade landed in the distance behind him. The others stared.
"Holy..." Michael finally managed.
Rei was equally stunned. "I've only known Kai to finish a battle that quickly, but that..." he was at a loss for words.
Kai stood silently and was mildly impressed. And like the others, quite surprised, although he didn't show it. It was intriguing, to see someone, so small, so seemingly innocently delicate, have that much strength... for a brief instant, her aura of innocence became pure power, showing more to her then she probably allowed.
*mumble*
And then there is much boring crap about her cat and how she blows everybody's mind by playing the recorder. Huh. I've been able to play the recorder since fourth grade, does that make me a Sue?
As we go on, there's more boring shit and she kicks Kai's ass in Beyblading. :O:O:O Didn't see that coming.
So... yeah. That was awful. She's Russian, but she knows Jonny and Mao, and is also part "neko-jin", which I'm assuming means she's possibly related to Mao/Rei/Kiki/Lai/Gao/somesuch. UGH.
And now for an excerpt from the second chapter, because it's just so priceless:
Hannah didn’t press him, just sat in silence. Finally he took a breath. “Yesterday we met up with... Fwujuii.” He seemed reluctant to say even her surname.
Possibly because it's so unpronounceable.
And now it's time for a Clorox sandwich, yay!
Story Or Series Title: Pretty Crimson Eyes
Fandom: omgkaiandreiaretehsexx0rz!111 Beyblade
Culprit Author's Name: Storms-winter I checked her profile, and she says one of her favourite bands is "Hoostbask". Personally, I can't imagine she could like them that much, as she can't get their name even close to right. *snerk*
Full Name (plus titles if any): Adrienne Fwujuii... I think it's supposed to be Fuji, but she's too retarded to a) know how to spell it and b) realize that it's a JAPANESE surname, and not Russian. *headdesk*
Full Species(es): OHEMGEE!Russian!Sue with an incomprehensible fangirl Japanese last name for some reason. Oh, she's also part "neko-jin". GRAGH WHAT THE FUCK.
Hair Color (include adjectives): "She had long shining midnight-ebony hair braided loosely down her back with bangs sweeping gently into her face."
Eye Color (include adjectives): "almond like eyes that gave her a fey like appearance, fierce crimson eyes and stubbornly set face belied the innocent fragility that seemed apart of her." I love how she describes the eyes not once, but twice. They're just that speshul. Oh, there's also this line: "
Crimson fire narrowed." Because now apparently she just has big gaping sockets that are filled with fire. Crimson fire.
Unusual Markings/Colorations: None that I noted.
Special Possessions (if any): Her omgsospeshul! clothes. "She wore a baggy blood red hoodie and loose black cargo pants, which had a imprinted picture of what looked like a red and golden dragon on the bottom of one leg, black fingerless gloves were adorned on her small hands." Also, a super-powerful Beyblade, with a Holy Beast that has a completely unpronounceable name. And a kitty cat. And a recorder.
Annoying Origin: The Chicks With Angsty Pasts Factory Russia. Russia. As in, you know, not Japan.
Annoying Connections To Canon Characters: She runs into Kai in the first chapter. And gushes about how chiseled and manly he is. And she's Jonny's distant cousin. And Mao's old friend. WHY?!
Annoying Special Abilities: Her super intelligence, ability to speak in millions of different languages (including Gaelic! :O OMG), mad recorder-playing skillz, super strength, angsty past and general badassness. I... there are no words.
Other Annoying Traits: Speaks in fangirl Japanese, despite being, you know, Russian!!
Please include a small sample of the worst of this story:
Lemme say right now this is one of the most awful stories I have ever reported. And that's saying something. BLUGH.
"Their names are Kai Hiwatari and Rei Kon." The other supplied. The girl frowned slightly no sign of recognition on her face, she was a stranger to Rei, though for some reason she looked vaguely familiar... she was petite with a delicate looking frame. But her straight stance, almond like eyes that gave her a fey like appearance, fierce crimson eyes and stubbornly set face belied the innocent fragility that seemed apart of her. She had long shining midnight-ebony hair braided loosely down her back with bangs sweeping gently into her face.
Her burning gaze ran over the two girls quickly and sharply as she gave a light shrug. "Dunno." She answered in a low slightly accented voice. "I've no idea who you're talking about."
That surprised them all. "Don't you know who they are?!" One fan girl asked looking at her in astonishment. "How could you NOT know about them?"
"If I did, I would have said so."
"Kami..." One of the girls stared at her hard. "Where have you been? Locked up in a closet?"
Crimson fire narrowed. "I don't believe that's you business. Now are you done?"
Blah blah, boring description. Yes, yes, her eyes are like fire, we get it.
And I love how she says "I don't believe that's you business" (ignoring the grammar mistake) as an answer. I mean, jeeze, Random Fangirl-Japanese Speaking Moron #1, what business is it of yours asking if she's been locked in a closet? That's like, personal.
*gigglesnort*
Rei glanced at Kai. "That... was interesting."
"Hm." Was the quiet response.
"Something wrong?" Rei asked curiously. Kai frowned. "Her accent. It was Russian." He muttered. Rei shrugged. He'd noticed, but was still trying to figure out where he'd seen her before.
Oh em gee, her accent is Russian! Surely she's special because of that, what with the hundreds of millions of people that live in Russia.
If there was something that truly annoyed Adrienne, it was being late for something and following wrong directions. "Baka woman." She muttered under her breath. "Obviously you never leave the office." Scowling at her timetable she crumpled it and shoved it into her pocket before wandering through the halls of the school trying to find her Chemistry lab. Irritation was etched into her small face and causing her to set her full pick mouth into a straight line and her jaw to take on a stubborn stance.
I can't even pick out all the things wrong with this paragraph. Irritation being etched into one's face sounds right painful, and I don't even know what the fuck a "full pick mouth" is. Sounds like the title of some obscure anime.
Looking up the petite girl flashed a grin, which quickly turned into horror before a pink blur ran at her and knocked her to the ground.
"Mariah! GET OFF!!"
Laughing sheepishly the pink haired neko-jin did so. Rubbing her head Adrienne shot Mariah a peeved look rising, only to be caught into a bear hug. Finally Mariah let go and Adrienne sucked in air and narrowed her gaze. "Mari do you have to try and kill me?" She asked exasperated.
Grinning Mariah's amber gaze shone. "Sorry, but I'm so happy to see you! It's been forever!"
"Four months." Adrienne corrected with a pained look.
She knows Mao too. WTFFFFF. ... Guh, well, at least it's not bashing her.
Adrienne stared up at the boy and her eyes narrowed. Tall, two tone hair, a mess of slate at the front and longish dark blue at the back. Pale skin, deep neutral and emotionless mahogany eyes, stoic expression, four blue shark fins... firm, chiselled body and undeniable maleness... his attire was black and blue, black muscle shirt outlining his broad chest, black cargo pants held up with a belt, royal blue vest overtop with an emblazoned red phoenix. Black fingerless gloves like her own... and of course that stand out snow-white scarf around his neck.
Yes, thank you, honey, we already KNOW what Kai looks like. Although I was under the impression his muscle shirt covered his "broad chest" instead of just outlining it.
And... undeniable maleness. UNDENIABLE MALENESS. OHMYGODWTF. *collapses in a fit of hysteria*
Adrienne let the ball fly and watched as it went through the basket with a swish and turned to regard a tall huge blonde standing behind her. Lifting a brow she asked mildly. "Could you think of anything more original?" He frowned as a burly boy with lilac hair narrowed his gaze on her. Hannah watched silently and her gaze travelled a bit further to see a tall lean red head standing beside Kai watching vaguely bored.
The blonde asked harshly. "Do you know who I am?" (bitch, this is mah house!)
"Not a clue." Adrienne lied knowing full well that his name was Spencer and his companion was Bryan. Two members of the Russian team called the Demolition Boys. Her fiery gaze swept to where the captain, Tala Valkov stood leaning against the wall, his ice blue gaze pinned on her.
GRRR. Giving Yuri the last name "Valkov" is one of my pet peeves as far as this fandom goes. And it seems like every bloody goddam Suethor does it! First off, his surname is IVANOV, NOT Valkov. Secondly, I don't think BALKOV would much appreciate Yuri stealing his name.
"He does have that affect on people." Rei mused smiling. Adrienne decided that she liked Rei and studied him. (Yes, yes, I like you. *whips out clipboard, jots down notes*) He was also pretty tall and had a nice lean and built body. His wild black hair was held up by his red yin-yang bandana and a long tiger tail wrap fell down his back. His cat like characteristic stood out, warm deep golden eyes, his hinting fangs as he spoke and a nice deep tanned complexion. He had on his gym strip now, but if memory served her well-which it did-he wore a Chinese outfit, with a long white tunic like shirt with a decorated white tiger on the back, a red sash tied around his waist and black pants. He'd also worn black fingerless gloves, which had the yin-yang symbol on each.
Again, we bloody well know what Rei looks like. And what the hell is a gym strip?
Studying her hard he looked over her tomboyish attire and paused when he saw the decorated red and gold dragon on her pant leg. "A dragon." He glanced up. "Do you beyblade?"
Adrienne nodded slowly and he grinned giving a challenging look. "Wanna battle?"
"No thanks." She declined lazily.
"Whaa?" He stared shocked, then recovered and demanded. "Why?" Adrienne covered a yawn. "It would be a waste of time." She replied vaguely. Tyson scowled and folded his arms. "Yeah right. You just don't want to lose."
Smiling slightly Adrienne brushed falling bangs from her face. "I know for a fact I wouldn't lose. I never have before."
First: oh em gee, she is teh supar beyblador LOLOL!! Second: I wasn't aware that if someone had dragons on their clothes it automatically meant they were a Beyblader.
"Go Dragoon!" Tyson yelled. Adrienne launched hard mutely and ordered a silent attack to her faithful bitbeast. Her blade glowed and crashed into the opposing grey blade and with such a powerful blow it was sent flying out of the dish before anyone could register what had happened.
Catching her returning blade Adrienne watched as Tyson's blade landed in the distance behind him. The others stared.
"Holy..." Michael finally managed.
Rei was equally stunned. "I've only known Kai to finish a battle that quickly, but that..." he was at a loss for words.
Kai stood silently and was mildly impressed. And like the others, quite surprised, although he didn't show it. It was intriguing, to see someone, so small, so seemingly innocently delicate, have that much strength... for a brief instant, her aura of innocence became pure power, showing more to her then she probably allowed.
*mumble*
And then there is much boring crap about her cat and how she blows everybody's mind by playing the recorder. Huh. I've been able to play the recorder since fourth grade, does that make me a Sue?
As we go on, there's more boring shit and she kicks Kai's ass in Beyblading. :O:O:O Didn't see that coming.
So... yeah. That was awful. She's Russian, but she knows Jonny and Mao, and is also part "neko-jin", which I'm assuming means she's possibly related to Mao/Rei/Kiki/Lai/Gao/somesuch. UGH.
And now for an excerpt from the second chapter, because it's just so priceless:
Hannah didn’t press him, just sat in silence. Finally he took a breath. “Yesterday we met up with... Fwujuii.” He seemed reluctant to say even her surname.
Possibly because it's so unpronounceable.
And now it's time for a Clorox sandwich, yay!