(no subject)
*lol* Watched some Monty Python on Saturday, and have finally, after all those years, decided on a favourite. I love, no, *adore* Graham, Michael, and John, but everytime I see Eric I just have to squee *lol* He's so CUTE!!! *SQUEES* Erm, thorry *coughs* It's probably the hair... And those sparkling eyes... And I love his voice *sigh* Okay, I'm stopping already ;)
Announcer: "And now for the stock market report by Exchange Telegraph."
Reporter: "Trading was crisp at the start of the day, with some brisk business on the floor. Rubber hardened and string remained confident. Little bits of tin consolidated, although biscuits sank after an early gain and stools remained anonymous. Armpits rallied well after a poor start. Nipples rose dramatically during the morning but had declined by mid afternoon, while teeth clenched and buttocks remained firm. Small dark furry things increased severely on the floor, whilst rude jellies wobbled up and down and bounced against rising thighs which had spread to all parts of the country by mid afternoon. After lunch, naughty things dipped sharply, forcing giblets upwards with the nicky nacky noo. Ting tang tong rankled dithely, little tipples pooped and poppy things went pong. Gibble gabble gobble went the rickety rackety roo..."
BBC Voiceover: "We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating."
Toastmaster: "Gentlemen, pray silence for the President of the Royal Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things."
BBC Voiceover: "Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now, it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening, it'll be ten o'clock and at 10:30 we'll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10:33, and don't forget tomorrow when it'll be 9:20. Those of you who missed 8:45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now, here is a time check. It's six and a half minutes to the big green thing."
2nd BBC Voiceover: "You're a looney."
BBC Voiceover: "I get so bored. I get so bloody bored."
Mrs. Premise: "I just spent four hours burying the cat."
Mrs. Conclusion: "*Four hours* to bury a cat?"
Mrs. Premise: "Yes - it wouldn't keep still."
Rustic Shepherd: "It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet."
Interviewer: "Good evening. Tonight I have with me Mr. Norman St. John Polevaulter who, for the last few years, has been contradicting people. St. John Polevaulter, why do you contradict people?"
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "I don't!"
Interviewer: "But... You told me that you did."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: I most certainly did not!"
Interviewer: [comprehending] "Oh! I see. I'll start again."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "No, you won't."
Interviewer: "Shh! I understand you *don't* contradict people."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "Yes, I do!"
Interviewer: "And when *didn't* you start contradicting them?"
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "I did! In 1952."
Interviewer: "1952?"
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "1947!"
Interviewer: "23 years ago."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "No!"
Judge: "Michael Norman Randall, you have been found guilty of the murder of Arthur Reginald Webster, Charles Patrick Trumpington, Marcel Agnes Bernstein, Lewis Anona Rudd, John Malcolm Kerr, Nigel Sinclair Robinson, Norman Arthur Potter, Felicity Jayne Stone, Jean Paul Reynard, Rachel Shirly Donaldson, Stephen Jay Greenblatt, Karl Heinz Muller, Belinda Anne Ventham, Juan Carlos Fernandez, Thor Olaf Stensgaard, Lord Kimberley of Pretoria, Lady Kimberley of Pretoria, The Right Honourable Nigel Warmsley Kimberley, Robert Henry Noonan, and Felix James Bennett, on or about the morning of the 19th December 1972. Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?"
Mr. Randall: "Yes, sir. I'm very sorry."
And, of course, the absolute number one:
Reg: "Trouble at t'mill."
Lady M: "Oh no! What sort of trouble?"
Reg: "One on't cross beams gone owt askew on't treddle."
Lady M: "Pardon?"
Reg: "One on't cross beams gone owt askew on't treddle."
Lady M: "I don't understand what you're saying."
Reg: "One of the cross beams has gone out of skew on the treadle."
Lady M: "Well, what on earth does that mean?"
Reg: "I don't know! - Mr. Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!"
[the door flies open and in come three Cardinals in red robes]
Cardinal Ximinez: "NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise!... Surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Hmf... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surpr... I'll come in again."
[They leave]
Reg: "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition."
[They burst in again]
Ximinez: "NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!... Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!"
Announcer: "And now for the stock market report by Exchange Telegraph."
Reporter: "Trading was crisp at the start of the day, with some brisk business on the floor. Rubber hardened and string remained confident. Little bits of tin consolidated, although biscuits sank after an early gain and stools remained anonymous. Armpits rallied well after a poor start. Nipples rose dramatically during the morning but had declined by mid afternoon, while teeth clenched and buttocks remained firm. Small dark furry things increased severely on the floor, whilst rude jellies wobbled up and down and bounced against rising thighs which had spread to all parts of the country by mid afternoon. After lunch, naughty things dipped sharply, forcing giblets upwards with the nicky nacky noo. Ting tang tong rankled dithely, little tipples pooped and poppy things went pong. Gibble gabble gobble went the rickety rackety roo..."
BBC Voiceover: "We interrupt this program to annoy you and make things generally irritating."
Toastmaster: "Gentlemen, pray silence for the President of the Royal Society for Putting Things on Top of Other Things."
BBC Voiceover: "Well, it's five past nine and nearly time for six past nine. On BBC 2 now, it'll shortly be six and a half minutes past nine. Later on this evening, it'll be ten o'clock and at 10:30 we'll be joining BBC 2 in time for 10:33, and don't forget tomorrow when it'll be 9:20. Those of you who missed 8:45 on Friday will be able to see it again this Friday at a quarter to nine. Now, here is a time check. It's six and a half minutes to the big green thing."
2nd BBC Voiceover: "You're a looney."
BBC Voiceover: "I get so bored. I get so bloody bored."
Mrs. Premise: "I just spent four hours burying the cat."
Mrs. Conclusion: "*Four hours* to bury a cat?"
Mrs. Premise: "Yes - it wouldn't keep still."
Rustic Shepherd: "It's my belief that these sheep are laborin' under the misapprehension that they're birds. Observe their be'avior. Take for a start the sheeps' tendency to 'op about the field on their 'ind legs. Now witness their attempts to fly from tree to tree. Notice that they do not so much fly as... plummet."
Interviewer: "Good evening. Tonight I have with me Mr. Norman St. John Polevaulter who, for the last few years, has been contradicting people. St. John Polevaulter, why do you contradict people?"
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "I don't!"
Interviewer: "But... You told me that you did."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: I most certainly did not!"
Interviewer: [comprehending] "Oh! I see. I'll start again."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "No, you won't."
Interviewer: "Shh! I understand you *don't* contradict people."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "Yes, I do!"
Interviewer: "And when *didn't* you start contradicting them?"
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "I did! In 1952."
Interviewer: "1952?"
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "1947!"
Interviewer: "23 years ago."
Norman St. John Polevaulter: "No!"
Judge: "Michael Norman Randall, you have been found guilty of the murder of Arthur Reginald Webster, Charles Patrick Trumpington, Marcel Agnes Bernstein, Lewis Anona Rudd, John Malcolm Kerr, Nigel Sinclair Robinson, Norman Arthur Potter, Felicity Jayne Stone, Jean Paul Reynard, Rachel Shirly Donaldson, Stephen Jay Greenblatt, Karl Heinz Muller, Belinda Anne Ventham, Juan Carlos Fernandez, Thor Olaf Stensgaard, Lord Kimberley of Pretoria, Lady Kimberley of Pretoria, The Right Honourable Nigel Warmsley Kimberley, Robert Henry Noonan, and Felix James Bennett, on or about the morning of the 19th December 1972. Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?"
Mr. Randall: "Yes, sir. I'm very sorry."
And, of course, the absolute number one:
Reg: "Trouble at t'mill."
Lady M: "Oh no! What sort of trouble?"
Reg: "One on't cross beams gone owt askew on't treddle."
Lady M: "Pardon?"
Reg: "One on't cross beams gone owt askew on't treddle."
Lady M: "I don't understand what you're saying."
Reg: "One of the cross beams has gone out of skew on the treadle."
Lady M: "Well, what on earth does that mean?"
Reg: "I don't know! - Mr. Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble at the mill, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition!"
[the door flies open and in come three Cardinals in red robes]
Cardinal Ximinez: "NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise!... Surprise and fear... fear and surprise... Our two weapons are fear and surprise... and ruthless efficiency! Our three weapons are fear, and surprise, and ruthless efficiency... and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope... Our four... no... Amongst our weapons... Hmf... Amongst our weaponry... are such elements as fear, surpr... I'll come in again."
[They leave]
Reg: "I didn't expect a kind of Spanish Inquisition."
[They burst in again]
Ximinez: "NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!... Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!"