Aunt Mary, the Beep and the Lamp
I could not let the year end without an Aunt Mary story...
Tuesday I brought her some food & supplies in the evening. She seemed agitated, so I asked her what was the matter? Before she could even answer me the BEEP happened. My Aunts Smoke/CO2 detector was beeping. I simply yanked out the dead battery and tried to explain why I just jumped up on her wall like Spiderwoman (No luck). We went into the kitchen to make out a full shopping list. I always check her fridge & freezer no matter what she says. I notice the freezer was still full.
Two weeks ago Aunt Mary insisted that she needed a new Microwave because she was tired of cooking the same things. No matter how much I talked she wanted a new one. Of course we did as she asked. I plugged it in, explained the simple directions 12 times and set the clock. Sooo, when I notice the freezer was still full I checked the microwave. It was dark & unplugged. She had also removed the converter plug and hidden it somewhere. I look at my Aunt accusingly and she immediately comes up with several excuses, including "the microwave was beeping". Siiiigh. I let her know it was the Smoke/CO2 detector that was beeping not the microwave! I do a search, find the converter plug, reattach everything and set the clock etc.
Wednesday, I buy her a battery for her Smoke/CO2 detector and the rest of her groceries. (My Mom refuses to get out of the car after a great morning of shopping & lunch. She did not want to ruin it). I head in with her bags and she is already yelling that I bought her too much stuff. I used the shopping list that we wrote out Together and that she Okayed. As usual I try to ignore her silliness and move on. I get her out of the way and into the kitchen. I pull out the battery and attempt to get it back in the detector, but my Aunt sees me moving the bench and freaks out. She is terrified that I might fall. Of course her freaking out and grabbing me was oooooh soooo helpful!! I try again and succeed.
She then remembers to tell me her lamp is dead. She wants me to buy a new one. I tell her I do not have time, but we can borrow a lamp from another room in the meantime. NO I USE THAT LAMP! Okay Aunt Mary calm down I mean the spare bedroom. NO! No, those are ugly. No, those don't work. NO, No, no. (I'm not deaf yet, but she is trying to make sure I am). I plow past her and force her to follow me. I point to the 3 lamps on the other side, she immediately decides to misunderstand and fusses about the 1 lamp next to her. I go across and grab one of the lamps. She keeps ranting. I ask for a bulb. I know she has some because I brought them last month. She actually finds them with ease. I test the lamp in the kitchen plug and it works great. I head back to her bedroom. I peek over the top of the bed toward the wall looking for the electric outlet and my Aunt freaks! I try to look at the sidewall and there is more freaking out! Since there is no outlet, I ask my Aunt where the extension cord is? More fussing and yelling, which I try to ignore. I look under the bed and my Aunt practically has a heart attack! She is afraid I am going to hurt myself. (I'm on the floor so I don't see how?) I find the missing extension cord and pull it over. On a hunch I decide to look at her "dead lamp". It is unplugged and there is no light bulb in it, so I fix it and it goes right on. My Aunt looks sooo surprised. OYE!!!
My Mom wanted to know why I took so very long? After I tell her the story she still says it was worth being in the car. Amen Sister!
Tuesday I brought her some food & supplies in the evening. She seemed agitated, so I asked her what was the matter? Before she could even answer me the BEEP happened. My Aunts Smoke/CO2 detector was beeping. I simply yanked out the dead battery and tried to explain why I just jumped up on her wall like Spiderwoman (No luck). We went into the kitchen to make out a full shopping list. I always check her fridge & freezer no matter what she says. I notice the freezer was still full.
Two weeks ago Aunt Mary insisted that she needed a new Microwave because she was tired of cooking the same things. No matter how much I talked she wanted a new one. Of course we did as she asked. I plugged it in, explained the simple directions 12 times and set the clock. Sooo, when I notice the freezer was still full I checked the microwave. It was dark & unplugged. She had also removed the converter plug and hidden it somewhere. I look at my Aunt accusingly and she immediately comes up with several excuses, including "the microwave was beeping". Siiiigh. I let her know it was the Smoke/CO2 detector that was beeping not the microwave! I do a search, find the converter plug, reattach everything and set the clock etc.
Wednesday, I buy her a battery for her Smoke/CO2 detector and the rest of her groceries. (My Mom refuses to get out of the car after a great morning of shopping & lunch. She did not want to ruin it). I head in with her bags and she is already yelling that I bought her too much stuff. I used the shopping list that we wrote out Together and that she Okayed. As usual I try to ignore her silliness and move on. I get her out of the way and into the kitchen. I pull out the battery and attempt to get it back in the detector, but my Aunt sees me moving the bench and freaks out. She is terrified that I might fall. Of course her freaking out and grabbing me was oooooh soooo helpful!! I try again and succeed.
She then remembers to tell me her lamp is dead. She wants me to buy a new one. I tell her I do not have time, but we can borrow a lamp from another room in the meantime. NO I USE THAT LAMP! Okay Aunt Mary calm down I mean the spare bedroom. NO! No, those are ugly. No, those don't work. NO, No, no. (I'm not deaf yet, but she is trying to make sure I am). I plow past her and force her to follow me. I point to the 3 lamps on the other side, she immediately decides to misunderstand and fusses about the 1 lamp next to her. I go across and grab one of the lamps. She keeps ranting. I ask for a bulb. I know she has some because I brought them last month. She actually finds them with ease. I test the lamp in the kitchen plug and it works great. I head back to her bedroom. I peek over the top of the bed toward the wall looking for the electric outlet and my Aunt freaks! I try to look at the sidewall and there is more freaking out! Since there is no outlet, I ask my Aunt where the extension cord is? More fussing and yelling, which I try to ignore. I look under the bed and my Aunt practically has a heart attack! She is afraid I am going to hurt myself. (I'm on the floor so I don't see how?) I find the missing extension cord and pull it over. On a hunch I decide to look at her "dead lamp". It is unplugged and there is no light bulb in it, so I fix it and it goes right on. My Aunt looks sooo surprised. OYE!!!
My Mom wanted to know why I took so very long? After I tell her the story she still says it was worth being in the car. Amen Sister!