(no subject)
Stephanie and I have been married for 19 years now. I keep thinking 20 but she won't let me jump ahead.
Most of you have seen the story but I don't care; it's tradition.
I fell for the dress, actually, but it needs some setup.
I gave two of Stephanie's friends a ride from Anchorage to Fairbanks. It sounded like a good idea at the time but, if I'd known it was 400 miles to Fairbanks, I probably would have passed. It was supposed to be a fun road trip: me, two women, and nothing but open road but, unfortunately, halfway to Fairbanks I realized I didn't really like them and they didn't really like me. The only thing they liked about me was that I had a car and it was going north.
Horrible trip. The one girl, Tammy, had a court date for an assault charge but that's not why she was rushing to Fairbanks. The courthouse just happened to be on her way to stealing her ex-husband's truck. I didn't know she was going to steal the truck when the the guy offered me a place on his couch so I could rest up before driving back to Anchorage. He and I found out together when she went out for a cigarette and didn't come back. Of course, he didn't believe me.
So she's gone with his truck, he's in a murderous rage, and I'm sitting on the couch going "Oh, fuck this!" He ran into the other room to call a ride and I grabbed my stuff and ran.
All I wanted to do was get back to Anchorage but I couldn't find the highway. For a state with so few roads, it's surprisingly easy to get lost in Alaska. So there I am, driving around in circles, trying to get out of Fairbanks when this Sidekick falls in behind me. It didn't take much to figure out it was the ex-husband and his friend what with the driver honking his horn and flashing his lights and the ex-husband hanging out of the passenger side yelling at me to pull over so he could kick my ass and I'm chanting "Oh, fuck this!" and making random turns and I'm running from a freaking Suzuki Sidekick which is funny now but not then.
Anyway, I swerved into a parking lot, slammed on the brakes, jumped out of the car and started yelling at the fool about how his wife was fucking crazy and he wasn't too far behind and I didn't know what kind of games they got going on but they need to leave me out of it and he better get his shit straight, fast and, when he was thoroughly confused, I demanded "Now, how the fuck do I get to Anchorage?"
He told me.
I hauled ass out of Fairbanks and headed back to Anchorage. By the time I reached base, I'd sworn off road trips and evil women (together or separately) forever. I had one day of clean living under my belt and was getting ready for bed so I could start the second one as soon as possible when Tammy knocked on my door. She didn't want anything to do with me and I wasn't real interested in having much to do with her but she just happened to be on base with this other friend of hers and she thought we might get along because I was weird like her.
The other friend was Stephanie. Now, I told you the Fairbanks story because I want you to fully appreciate the power of that dress Stephanie was wearing. See, I wanted nothing at all to do with Tammy and her friends. In my mind, Tammy and her friends were, at best, trouble or, at worst, evil soul-stealing harpies. But that dress made me lose all sense. It was all stretchy and tight and hugging the one curve here and the other curve there and tttiiiggghhhttt over most of the others and I took one look at her in that dress I said "You woke me up. Now, you have to buy me coffee."
We've been together since. They took me to a diner for coffee in late September, 1994. We moved into an apartment in early October. We got married on November 12. Nineteen years, so far, and it started because some truck-stealing nutcase thought we were the same kind of weird. And Stephanie wore that dress.
Love you, Lady. Happy Anniversary.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.
Most of you have seen the story but I don't care; it's tradition.
I fell for the dress, actually, but it needs some setup.
I gave two of Stephanie's friends a ride from Anchorage to Fairbanks. It sounded like a good idea at the time but, if I'd known it was 400 miles to Fairbanks, I probably would have passed. It was supposed to be a fun road trip: me, two women, and nothing but open road but, unfortunately, halfway to Fairbanks I realized I didn't really like them and they didn't really like me. The only thing they liked about me was that I had a car and it was going north.
Horrible trip. The one girl, Tammy, had a court date for an assault charge but that's not why she was rushing to Fairbanks. The courthouse just happened to be on her way to stealing her ex-husband's truck. I didn't know she was going to steal the truck when the the guy offered me a place on his couch so I could rest up before driving back to Anchorage. He and I found out together when she went out for a cigarette and didn't come back. Of course, he didn't believe me.
So she's gone with his truck, he's in a murderous rage, and I'm sitting on the couch going "Oh, fuck this!" He ran into the other room to call a ride and I grabbed my stuff and ran.
All I wanted to do was get back to Anchorage but I couldn't find the highway. For a state with so few roads, it's surprisingly easy to get lost in Alaska. So there I am, driving around in circles, trying to get out of Fairbanks when this Sidekick falls in behind me. It didn't take much to figure out it was the ex-husband and his friend what with the driver honking his horn and flashing his lights and the ex-husband hanging out of the passenger side yelling at me to pull over so he could kick my ass and I'm chanting "Oh, fuck this!" and making random turns and I'm running from a freaking Suzuki Sidekick which is funny now but not then.
Anyway, I swerved into a parking lot, slammed on the brakes, jumped out of the car and started yelling at the fool about how his wife was fucking crazy and he wasn't too far behind and I didn't know what kind of games they got going on but they need to leave me out of it and he better get his shit straight, fast and, when he was thoroughly confused, I demanded "Now, how the fuck do I get to Anchorage?"
He told me.
I hauled ass out of Fairbanks and headed back to Anchorage. By the time I reached base, I'd sworn off road trips and evil women (together or separately) forever. I had one day of clean living under my belt and was getting ready for bed so I could start the second one as soon as possible when Tammy knocked on my door. She didn't want anything to do with me and I wasn't real interested in having much to do with her but she just happened to be on base with this other friend of hers and she thought we might get along because I was weird like her.
The other friend was Stephanie. Now, I told you the Fairbanks story because I want you to fully appreciate the power of that dress Stephanie was wearing. See, I wanted nothing at all to do with Tammy and her friends. In my mind, Tammy and her friends were, at best, trouble or, at worst, evil soul-stealing harpies. But that dress made me lose all sense. It was all stretchy and tight and hugging the one curve here and the other curve there and tttiiiggghhhttt over most of the others and I took one look at her in that dress I said "You woke me up. Now, you have to buy me coffee."
We've been together since. They took me to a diner for coffee in late September, 1994. We moved into an apartment in early October. We got married on November 12. Nineteen years, so far, and it started because some truck-stealing nutcase thought we were the same kind of weird. And Stephanie wore that dress.
Love you, Lady. Happy Anniversary.
Posted via m.livejournal.com.