since I am missing yoga anyway ...
I had an interesting discussion about energy and leadership with my healer/elder (h/e) yesterday which oddly enough is related to yezida's post yesterday and the ensuing discussion.
My h/e says that one of the reasons I am left feeling so exhausted and drained after teaching at festivals like last week is related to my childhood abuse and my need to feel validated as a human being. So many of us have suffered wounds to our core worth as children, that we seek validation for our work in the world when all the validation we need should be present within the work itself. She said that if the work is truly "mine", it should be filled with joy. And that this joy was all the validation I needed.
Seeking validation externally can force open up my second chakra and ramp up my glamour unnecessarily. And it is this ramping up of my glamour and charisma that is exhausting me. She said I should relax and let my natural glamour and charisma shine through from my enjoyment of the work itself.
I shared that I do enjoy teaching and that I allow my students to see this enjoyment. I spend more time now expressing how much I love the work I am doing. But I also admitted that I sometimes push myself too hard especially when I am worried about how folks will perceive me. I worry about looking like an idiot, or coming across as a someone who hasn't done their homework. So I over prepare and fret over things unnecessarily.
My first workshop at Sacred Harvest felt clunky to me and at the end I had to getup and literally run for the porta potty. After such an undignified end to a workshop, one where folks seem to appreciate what I was saying, I calmed down considerably. The remainder of the week was spent experiencing the joy of teaching.
The more I relaxed, the less effort was necessary and the better I felt overall. By the end, although I was physically weary from the environment, I was totally enjoying myself within each workshop. I even began hanging out more in the Wyld Womyn camp and with my new friend, Wiccan elder Linda Green.
I am also feeling pretty good today. I had set aside this entire week for recovery, but I may begin working on my over stuffed tasks/projects list tonight. All of which says to me that I am truly moving toward what my h/e says should be my goal as a teacher, priestess and elder. She says that aside from physical exertion, my work should energize me, not exhaust me. And that my goal is to return from teaching revved up so that I can turn my attention to the next burst of joy waiting for me along the path.
I love that image, a burst of joy just waiting for me ... and that the work itself is what energizes me and prepares me for the joy just up ahead ... it takes old Campbell's phrase of "Follow your Bliss" to the next level ...
K
My h/e says that one of the reasons I am left feeling so exhausted and drained after teaching at festivals like last week is related to my childhood abuse and my need to feel validated as a human being. So many of us have suffered wounds to our core worth as children, that we seek validation for our work in the world when all the validation we need should be present within the work itself. She said that if the work is truly "mine", it should be filled with joy. And that this joy was all the validation I needed.
Seeking validation externally can force open up my second chakra and ramp up my glamour unnecessarily. And it is this ramping up of my glamour and charisma that is exhausting me. She said I should relax and let my natural glamour and charisma shine through from my enjoyment of the work itself.
I shared that I do enjoy teaching and that I allow my students to see this enjoyment. I spend more time now expressing how much I love the work I am doing. But I also admitted that I sometimes push myself too hard especially when I am worried about how folks will perceive me. I worry about looking like an idiot, or coming across as a someone who hasn't done their homework. So I over prepare and fret over things unnecessarily.
My first workshop at Sacred Harvest felt clunky to me and at the end I had to getup and literally run for the porta potty. After such an undignified end to a workshop, one where folks seem to appreciate what I was saying, I calmed down considerably. The remainder of the week was spent experiencing the joy of teaching.
The more I relaxed, the less effort was necessary and the better I felt overall. By the end, although I was physically weary from the environment, I was totally enjoying myself within each workshop. I even began hanging out more in the Wyld Womyn camp and with my new friend, Wiccan elder Linda Green.
I am also feeling pretty good today. I had set aside this entire week for recovery, but I may begin working on my over stuffed tasks/projects list tonight. All of which says to me that I am truly moving toward what my h/e says should be my goal as a teacher, priestess and elder. She says that aside from physical exertion, my work should energize me, not exhaust me. And that my goal is to return from teaching revved up so that I can turn my attention to the next burst of joy waiting for me along the path.
I love that image, a burst of joy just waiting for me ... and that the work itself is what energizes me and prepares me for the joy just up ahead ... it takes old Campbell's phrase of "Follow your Bliss" to the next level ...
K