Oh fine, I admit it....
Being a new grown up and becoming disilusioned with the world or the human race or whatever, still sucks less that being a teenager and feeling confused and scared shitless.
I'm home, and I just had a really good talk with my 14 year old niece. On addition to the usual talk about school and family, and our cautionary-tales-relatives, she had something she wanted to tell me. Or I guess she needed to tell me; she's the one that brought it up. A couple of months ago, she kissed a girl. And liked it. I asked, and she has kissed boys before too. And she's not sure what she likes or what the hell. Add to that a disfunctional family and being raised by really old-fashioned grandparents, and yeah, she was freaking out a bit. So, I had to tell her that no one expects her to be sure what she likes at age 14, and she has time to figure it out; and that at least I would be perfectly fine with whatever she decides, boys, girls or both. And I think me telling her about my one kiss with my girl-best friend back when I was 22 helped calm her down too. At least she's not feeling like a freak anymore. Well, anymore that usual, at least.
So yeah, I got a little perspective back. As much as losing some of the childish naivete I still had sucked, at least I already know myself pretty well. And I remember now, being a teenager did suck worse.
I do feel like maybe I should've stayed here, find a job closer to home.... I mean, she hasn't seen her therapist in at least three months, she's about to repeat eight grade because of poor assistance, and she is failing math; my mom has basicaly given up and my dad is just frustrated with her. And if I'm the only one she feels she can trust like this, I really would've liked to stay closer... *sigh* I dunno.
I'm home, and I just had a really good talk with my 14 year old niece. On addition to the usual talk about school and family, and our cautionary-tales-relatives, she had something she wanted to tell me. Or I guess she needed to tell me; she's the one that brought it up. A couple of months ago, she kissed a girl. And liked it. I asked, and she has kissed boys before too. And she's not sure what she likes or what the hell. Add to that a disfunctional family and being raised by really old-fashioned grandparents, and yeah, she was freaking out a bit. So, I had to tell her that no one expects her to be sure what she likes at age 14, and she has time to figure it out; and that at least I would be perfectly fine with whatever she decides, boys, girls or both. And I think me telling her about my one kiss with my girl-best friend back when I was 22 helped calm her down too. At least she's not feeling like a freak anymore. Well, anymore that usual, at least.
So yeah, I got a little perspective back. As much as losing some of the childish naivete I still had sucked, at least I already know myself pretty well. And I remember now, being a teenager did suck worse.
I do feel like maybe I should've stayed here, find a job closer to home.... I mean, she hasn't seen her therapist in at least three months, she's about to repeat eight grade because of poor assistance, and she is failing math; my mom has basicaly given up and my dad is just frustrated with her. And if I'm the only one she feels she can trust like this, I really would've liked to stay closer... *sigh* I dunno.