Job hunt trauma??
So I still can't actually get started on my job hunt, still expecting my last grades to come up sometime this week month sometime soon.
BUT I just got an email from the medicin secretary back in my university, telling me there will be a position opening in a small town hospital not far from where I live. It will be available to apply sometime NEXT week, so I could be ready to apply myself by then.
The good part? It's basically the best job a doctor fresh out of internship could ask for. It's stable, great pay, and in three to six years time I'm almost guaranteed a scholarship to get my specialisation.
The bad part? THE HOURS SUCK!!! I have to visit hospital patients in the morning, do clinic in the afternoon and I get both a 12 hour shift AND a 36 hour shift every single week, many times those will fall on weekends, and...
*sigh* I've spent the past two years saying I would never do 36 hour shifts again, even if they payed me. I wanted to HAVE A LIFE after my internship, and I'm only looking forward to getting a paycheck so I can finally take yoga lessons, and learn french, and go to the movies whenever I want, and to the theater and concerts, and meet people outside a hospital for once, and that's not going to happen if I work like this.... I DON'T WANT THIS JOB!! But.... it's there, you know? It's what I SHOULD be doing, even if I DON' T WANT to do it.
The funny thing? There's no one pressuring me anyway!! Not my parents, not anyone. I can apply to anywhere I want to and my folks would just be happy I have a job, simple as that. So, it's actually ME pushing this onto myself. I'm the one that feels I should do this. And that SUCKS!
I'll probably end up not going after this position, and berating myself for it for the next 6 months. Why do I have to be the one that thinks I don't do enough??.... I'm much harder to run away from.
BUT I just got an email from the medicin secretary back in my university, telling me there will be a position opening in a small town hospital not far from where I live. It will be available to apply sometime NEXT week, so I could be ready to apply myself by then.
The good part? It's basically the best job a doctor fresh out of internship could ask for. It's stable, great pay, and in three to six years time I'm almost guaranteed a scholarship to get my specialisation.
The bad part? THE HOURS SUCK!!! I have to visit hospital patients in the morning, do clinic in the afternoon and I get both a 12 hour shift AND a 36 hour shift every single week, many times those will fall on weekends, and...
*sigh* I've spent the past two years saying I would never do 36 hour shifts again, even if they payed me. I wanted to HAVE A LIFE after my internship, and I'm only looking forward to getting a paycheck so I can finally take yoga lessons, and learn french, and go to the movies whenever I want, and to the theater and concerts, and meet people outside a hospital for once, and that's not going to happen if I work like this.... I DON'T WANT THIS JOB!! But.... it's there, you know? It's what I SHOULD be doing, even if I DON' T WANT to do it.
The funny thing? There's no one pressuring me anyway!! Not my parents, not anyone. I can apply to anywhere I want to and my folks would just be happy I have a job, simple as that. So, it's actually ME pushing this onto myself. I'm the one that feels I should do this. And that SUCKS!
I'll probably end up not going after this position, and berating myself for it for the next 6 months. Why do I have to be the one that thinks I don't do enough??.... I'm much harder to run away from.