Coming home to Matthew -- My Downton Abbey Christmas Odyssee
Well, I know I'm thick. I know I'm slow... But never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I could so misunderstand an episode of Downton Abbey that I would ruin my Christmas. It was ruined because I felt that the episode never addressed Matthew's errors throughout S2, how he hurt Mary throughout his relationship, and that he got away with
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I think it's very interesting in Lavinia's second to last speech (and I don't remember if you mentioned this in your Lavinia analysis) she never says "I came back to you because I loved you." She says "I love you very, very much," but then describes the reason she came back as her "calling" to "look after" Matthew.
I think she was as weak as she described, but the fact that she knew Matthew didn't love her and he wanted to be with Mary and Lavinia did nothing to stop it speaks to her weakness. I'm not surprised Carlisle did nothing, after all -- emotional manipulation is his middle name. So, it was Lavinia's weakness and Carlisle's strength conspiring to keep M/M unhappy. :(
Boy, do I like that idea -- more than just the fact that "the truth hurts" -- that Matthew punched Carlisle because he was aware now that they both knew and did nothing. When Mary couldn't, and Matthew wouldn't. I like that...I like that a lot. :D
Go, Matthew!!! :)
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Does anyone remember Ethel, the obnoxious housemaid? And her little problem with Charlie? Exact same thing. She and the major got themselves into something of a situation (illegitimate child), he feels he has nothing to gain from it so he does nothing. Neither does his father, who doesn't see the emotional value of having a grandson. And Ethel is unwilling to accept responsibility for her part in the matter and is crying "You've got to help me" to Mrs Hughes and the Bryants, demanding that they solve her problem because she can't bear living with the consequences and she's sobbing day in and day out in self-pity.
The conversation they're having about her in epi 2.07 is very informative with regard to how the individual characters view the question of taking responsibility for mistakes that involve two people:
Mary draws attention to a possible incentive the Bryants might see, that would make them want to cooperate with Ethel even if they're not legally bound to: He's their only grandchild. There can never be another.
Carlisle cannot see any emotional gain from such a bargain and is looking for ways to escape responsibility. The idea of voluntary unselfish cooperation is not a concept that he can relate to: Even if Ethel is telling the truth ... Even so, there’s no legal reality to it. The child is her bastard and has no claim on them. ... I just don’t see the point in pretending something can be done when it can’t.
Matthew is affected by the emotional consequences this situation brings with it and feels that this calls for an act of "charity": What about you, mother? Can’t one of your refugee charities help?
Isobel is practical but realistic. She is also unwilling to become emotional about individual human interest stories, when she knows that there are thousands of similar cases that nobody cries about: But she’s not a refugee, and we have more claims on our funding than we can possibly meet.
Mary is adamant that everyone should accept responsibility for her share in the problem, and deal with the consequences: The truth is, Ethel’s made her choice and now she’s stuck with it.
Lavinia is playing the emotion/victim card and suggests that a pitiful enough person should not be expected to have to be left to his/her own devices. That seems a little hard.
Mary is disillusioned and expects that one always has to fend for oneself. She doesn't believe there is willingness for cooperation, and therefore a solution is impossible: Does it? Aren’t all of us stuck with the choices we make?
The Ethel subplot kind of foreshadows the Carlisle-Mary-Matthew-Lavinia conflict. All four of them are in a way stuck in an unhappy relationship. Who should take responsibility for solving this problem?
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Carlisle is not emotionally dependent on Mary. He knows that Mary loves Matthew, that Matthew loves Mary, and that Lavinia knows that Matthew loves Mary.
Carlisle sees no personal gain in cooperating to end this travesty. He attempts to achieve status through his marriage but he could cash in by publishing the scandal in case of a break-up. His fear of becoming ridiculous (being dumped) is stronger than his professed respect for Mary. He does nothing. He could have told Mary that Lavinia knows that Matthew loves Mary but he doesn't. So Mary doesn't become proactive in pursuing Matthew. He could have told Matthew that Lavinia knows that he doesn't love her, but he doesn't.
Mary loves Matthew, she wants to be with him on any terms. She believes that Matthew loves Lavinia. She knows that Lavinia loves Matthew. She doesn't know that Lavinia knows that Matthew doesn't love her. So she doesn't become proactive in pursuing Matthew.
Mary is keeping secrets from Matthew. She believes that Carlisle will publish the scandal if she breaks up with him. She assumes that the way the papers will describe her will drive Matthew away forever. She believes that if she wants to be with Matthew on any terms, she has to marry Carlisle. She does not believe there is a solution to her problem so she has resigned.
Matthew-Lavinia
Matthew loves Mary, he wants to be with her on any terms. He doesn't expect her to keep anything secret from him, that's not who they are. In his opinion, therefore, what she does is what she wants to do. He believes that she wants to be with Carlisle, or else she wouldn't be.
Matthew is keeping secrets from Lavinia. He doesn't love her. He knows that she loves him. He feels that he owes her. He doesn't know that she knows that he doesn't love her.
Matthew does not want to marry Lavinia. He wants to marry Mary. He feels he owes marriage to Lavinia and she has insisted over a long time that they should marry. He does not want to hurt her by dumping her. He believes that the reason why she doesn't do anything is because she wants the relationship the way it is. Even in epi 2.08 he believes that Lavinia will be the one to call off the wedding if SHE doesn't want to become his wife: "I won't let YOU DO THIS--"
Lavinia loves Matthew and she wants to marry him. She knows that Matthew loves Mary. She tells Mary that she cannot live without Matthew. She tells Matthew she she wants to be with him forever. She tells Carlisle that she and Matthew shouldn't be together because Matthew loves Mary, and that she would be happier if he broke it of. She does not believe that it is her business to sort out her relationship with Matthew. She believes it's Matthew's responsibility. Even if SHE doesn't want to become Matthew's wife, she makes it Matthew's responsibility to call off the wedding: "YOU won't make a hard decision"
That's about the most complicated scenario Matthew has ever encountered in his life. It's not black-and-white. And what he learns to his surprise when Carlisle delivers the punchline, is that sometimes people do not take action, even if they want things to happen. And he learns that Lavinia wanted to get out of the relationship for a long time, not as a result of seeing him kiss Mary. And she felt that ending the engagement would give her a chance. So basically, she did not die of a broken heart because of that kiss, she died of the Spanish flu at an inopportune time.
And he realises that he has taken the blame for the whole thing together with Mary, when she was the one person who really had a good reason to be passive, because she feared that her actions would actually split them apart. And he was judging her unjustly and accused her of being undeserving of happiness, unjustly. Because of misinformation! And the two people who were in the strongest position to do anything constructive to fix the problem -- did nothing and said nothing!
And he punches Carlisle.
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